Chapter Ten: Fall From Grace

Well, I'd been demoted now.

I was still a Marine, at least, and had even somehow managed to retain command of my regiment. But my career had taken a definite hit. All my hard work for nearly a year - at War College, and with a brand-new baby to boot - had been for naught. All my work the following year as a full-bird colonel was for nothing, too. All for a spectacularly foolish reason: Ethan had kissed me, and I'd kissed him back.

Lieutenant Commander Roth had apologized to me after the trial, given the results weren't exactly what we'd been hoping for, but I knew it wasn't his fault. Asking Willis to testify had been a gamble, and I could see why Roth had wanted to try. It was a good idea that just hadn't held up once the prosecutor had really gone all-out on his cross-examination.

And ultimately, Ethan and I had placed ourselves in this position. There wasn't much left to say.

I went straight home after the verdict was read; I didn't stop to talk to Willis, or Ethan, or anyone really, other than my counsel to thank him for his work on my behalf. I was already pulling off my dress jacket as I walked through the door, and threw it onto the back of the couch as Chief came bounding over. Unlike me, he was happy, tail wagging and excited that I was finally home. I bent down to pet him some, then went to my bedroom to change.

I didn't have the kids today, so I didn't have to feel guilty when I popped open a beer from the fridge. It was going to be one of those nights - one I hadn't had in a very long time.

Dressed now in a pair of sweatpants and a UNSC-MC T-shirt, I curled up on a corner of the couch and took my first swig. It felt good; refreshing. I closed my eyes, only opening them once in surprise when I felt Chief jump onto my lap, then closed them again. I put my hand on his head and he gave a low whine, in commiseration I guess.

He kept me company while I drank the alcohol slowly, in the quiet and emptiness of my apartment, and fought back tears.

I wasn't quite sure what to do with myself the next day. I'd kept myself to just the one beer so I wasn't hungover, but I definitely wasn't feeling up to my usual morning routine. Chief still needed to go out, though, so I got up early and took him for a leisurely stroll around the neighborhood.

Technically I was still on leave until the start of the new week. I'd received my orders last night to return to my command starting Monday, and that, at least, was a welcome relief. I was glad to have something to do again and get back to work - although I still had to get through the weekend first.

That also meant I'd be receiving full pay again. Even as an O-5 it was nothing to sniff at, but given the demotion it would be significantly less than what I was used to earning now. It was possible that meant Willis and I would have to return to our attorneys to renegotiate how much I had to give in spousal support, and it also meant I was pretty much at my limit now with helping maintain two households and four kids half the week - plus Chief.

I also wondered how my return would be received by my subordinates. By now everyone would be well aware of why I'd been gone, what I'd been charged with, and that I was coming back a lieutenant colonel. I trusted Brewer and Cal to not be the ones spreading the information around, but there were hardly ever any secrets amongst a unit - especially something as juicy as your CO being convicted of misconduct. I knew that I'd likely lost the respect of many, along with my very obvious loss of rank.

It'd be a long and hard road back to earning that again. But I tried not to dwell on it for now.

After taking Chief out for his walk we went back home. I'd just set out some fresh food and water for him when I heard a knock at the door.

When I opened it, I was very surprised to see Lieutenant Lloyd on the other side.

"Good morning, ma'am," he said.

"Hi, Cal. What's up?" I raised an eyebrow at him. "Don't you have a pregnant wife at home to attend to?"

He chuckled. "Actually, she pushed me out. Said she was pregnant, not handicapped, and I needed to stop hovering and trying to do everything for her."

I smiled in return. "Well, I've had a bit of experience in that department. If you need some advice on how to navigate us at this very...precarious stage in a lady's life, you've come to the right place."

"Yes, please, ma'am. I'm so very lost." He sighed. "I keep feeling like I'm just saying and doing all the wrong things lately. Dani either gets upset at me or cries."

At that I barked a laugh. "I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this, but you've just described the whole nine months there, Lieutenant."

Cal gave me a distressed look. "Really?"

"Yup. And it'll only get worse towards the end. Just gotta do your best to ride it out."

"Oh." He frowned like he'd been hoping for a different answer. "Well, anyway...I was wondering if you wanted to go back out to the range with me today. I figured you might need it after that trial, and I don't really have anywhere else to be for a couple hours."

"Sure. I'll have my neighbor check in on my dog for me."

"Great. We'll met up over there, then."

"All right."

He turned to go, but I stopped him.

"Hey, Cal?"

"Yes, ma'am?"

"Just remember: this too shall pass."

It was only once he'd left again that I realized that applied just as much to my situation as his.

I changed again into a shirt and dark gray pants, opting for sneakers this time rather than my boots. It was warmer out today so I left my jacket at home, and went to enjoy the outdoors with something that really made me feel at home: weaponry.

Despite everything, I felt more excited as I pulled up to the firing range this time. Now I knew for sure I was coming back, that my life wouldn't change as drastically as I'd feared. Professionally there'd still be some challenges to deal with, but I wouldn't have to outright find myself a new career. That, I didn't think I could have handled. I was convinced my reputation before now had saved me in that regard.

It'd been a rough couple weeks, so I skipped right past the sidearms this time and grabbed an assault rifle instead. It was time to have some real fun.

I was busy getting the gun set up and ready to go when Caleb approached. He had a battle rifle in his hands.

"So, how's everything been going, Cooper? After the court-martial, I mean." He paused. "I'm sorry about the demotion. I hope our testimony helped."

"It did, Cal. Thank you." I released a sigh. "To be honest, things are still sort of up in the air."

"Between you and the major, you mean?"

I nodded. "I wasn't expecting it to be any different, though. Now we're officially separated, but it's still a kind of relationship limbo. I don't know if we're going to actually pull the trigger on this and divorce, or get back together."

"Have you talked to him since the trial?"

"No."

Things had been moving in a better direction before the court-martial, given distance and time. Now, though, I got the feeling from my husband's silence that the testimony had reopened a lot of old wounds. And of course with my conviction for conduct unbecoming, there was tangible proof now that I'd done something wrong - not a full-blown affair, but a form of betrayal nonetheless. In essence, his feelings of hurt had been validated by the court, and I had a sense that had set us back again.

"Well, the only thing you can do about that is give it time, ma'am."

"I know."

I finally got the rifle set up how I wanted, so I went to grab a few clips to play around with. Rather than chitchat some more with Caleb, we each pulled on our hearing protection and glasses then and got into place in separate lanes beside one another. I set the mode to moving holograms several meters out, shifted my stance, and tucked the butt of the gun into my right shoulder.

As soon as the first target flashed into view, I unleashed hell.