Chapter Twelve: Turn Back Time

I spent the remainder of the morning in the woods with my regiment, going through maneuvers. It was great to be back.

Sometime in the early afternoon I had to cut my reunion tour short, though. After being excluded from the goings-on for the better part of four months due to my uncertain status, I had mountains of paperwork to go through now that I'd returned. Brewer had done her best in my absence - and it was a lot - but without a reliable XO of her own, it was understandable that much of the busywork had been left by the wayside to pile up.

I'd also been hoping to speak to Cal about what Major Mullen had said to me, about something having happened on the Elites' homeworld recently, but he was nowhere to be found. I finally asked my XO, and she gave a sigh.

"He got called to Sydney on Earth for a two-day spook briefing," she said. "Last minute, and all very hush-hush, as they like to be."

Well. That made me even more curious now about what was going on with our former enemies-turned-allies-turned-somewhat-enemies again.

I realized I could reach out to Ethan about it if I really wanted to know - and I definitely wanted to know - but Brewer told me Cal was due back tomorrow, and I wasn't exactly itching to reopen that can of worms. So I decided I'd wait.

I was deep into the less glamorous side of my job when I heard a knock on my office door again.

"Enter," I said, just like before, and someone did come in. Just not at all who I was expecting.

It was Willis.

I immediately dropped what I was doing, lost in a sea of hard copy files on my desk, along with my datapad, and froze. "Hi."

"Hi," he returned. I watched him take in all the clutter in front of me and frown. "I heard you were back. If you're busy, I can - "

"No. Stay."

He nodded and sat down in one of the chairs before my desk. He was dressed in his flightsuit today rather than camouflage like me, so I knew he'd been out at the airfield all morning - and in the air. Right now, though, he spent a long time fiddling with his cover between his hands. That made me a little nervous.

"Will, if you have something to say to me, just say it."

He was here to tell me it was really over. We were getting divorced. I knew it, and my heart ached and sank at the same time.

Finally, he took a deep breath. "I've been thinking a lot the past few days since the verdict. I have some...concerns that I wanted to bring up with you."

"Okay." I had no idea where this was going, beyond the fact that I felt in my gut that it wasn't going to be good.

"Your court-martial was...hard for me to get through. I'm sure it was for you, too."

I nodded, still nervous. "Yeah."

"It was hard for me because a lot of what the prosecutor was trying to paint you as just isn't...you." He folded his arms across his chest. "I know that given the chance to be alone with Ethan three years ago, you didn't make the same choices. You chose to keep him at a certain distance. So, logically, I know that without what happened to you - without what you went through when those bastards took you - none of this would have happened."

"Willis, I kissed him. That was on me." I leaned forward then, putting my face in my hands for a moment before composing myself again. "I did it because I wanted to, at the time. He was there for me, I felt some sort of...human connection that had been completely absent and twisted into something...very dark while I was a prisoner. And then I had to kill my first reb, and I felt a devastating loss of connection to you when we finally spoke, and it just turned into a fight. So when he offered me that...lifeline of human contact, I took it."

My husband swallowed hard. "I know," he answered softly. "You told me all this on Puget."

"I just...want you to understand that what you thought I might not ever do...I did."

"But you didn't go too far. You realized what you'd done was wrong right away, and you put a stop to it before it became...unforgivable." His eyes met mine now, very serious. "And that would have been, for me. Under any circumstances."

"I know."

We were both quiet for a while, just letting that sink in. I hadn't exactly prepared for heavy conversation today, and it was taking its toll now when I should have been focused on other things. But eventually, Willis spoke again.

"Anyway, after hearing the testimony, and having some time to reflect, I realize now that I think I can...come to terms with this." He let out a sigh. "We're broken up, you've been demoted, your reputation's taken a hit. I think you've been punished enough for making a mistake when you weren't exactly...in the best frame of mind." He looked at me intently. "I think I can forgive you, if you promise me something."

"What?"

"One, that this never happens again. And two - " He paused. "When Ethan leaves now, that's the end of it. You never seek him out, and you never contact him again."

I was left more than a little stunned. I hadn't expected any of what he was saying - I thought I knew for sure what this was about, but that hadn't been it at all. Instead of bringing our marriage to an end, my husband was giving us a real chance again. To forgive each other, and to move on.

It was tremendous, except for the fact that it felt a bit like a blow when he mentioned Ethan. But I understood his reasoning, and had figured even before now that there was no other way for us to go forward if that avenue wasn't completely closed off.

"Okay," I said evenly. Then I stared back at him. "What about you?"

He sighed again. "I already apologized to you on Puget for how I handled things after...when we finally talked again once you'd been rescued. It was...a lot for me to take in, that whole time period you were gone. I was scared for you, and pissed I couldn't come get you myself." He ran a hand through his hair. "And then you came back, and I couldn't understand why you didn't want to talk to me. But I get it now, and I know I had nothing to do with that. You just needed time. And I treated you like shit for it, exactly when you needed me most.

"I am sorry for that, Cooper," he continued. "But know that I'll never turn my back on you again."

I didn't even realize I was crying now until I felt the wet tears streak down my face. I wiped them away quickly, but more just took their place. Finally Willis stood, leaned across my desk, and took both cheeks in his hands.

"I love you, Natalie."

"I love you, too."

He leaned in to kiss me - just a quick one on the lips - and then smiled.

"So what do you think? Should we give this a shot?"

I nodded, still too emotional to say much else, and his smile broadened into a grin.

"Does that mean you'll have dinner with me tonight?"

"What?"

"Just the two of us, no kids. And no dog. No matter how much we love them all. We'll get them a sitter."

I sniffled and wiped at my face with my sleeve again. "Are you serious?"

He finally made his way to the other side of my desk and kissed my forehead. "Very. I'm going to take my wife out on a date. If you'll have me."

At that I stood and wrapped my arms around him, burying my head in his chest, and he held me. We were both quiet for a long time, but for a very good reason.

"Of course, Will," I said, my voice muffled a little by his flightsuit. "I'd love to."