Chapter Forty-Four: The World on Your Shoulders

0602 Hours, August 7, 2561. Vettel Keep, Qivro, Planet Sanghelios. Day Thirty-Six of the Enemy of My Enemy

In three days I was gearing up again, ready to rejoin the fight. Doc Reynolds had initially given me another week and a half of rest, but I knew I needed to be out there now. So, very carefully – and with a little help from Cal – I was able to duck out of the medtent early and take command of my regiment again.

"Colonel Cooper," Caleb said when he saw me, wearing a small grin as he stuck out his hand. "Welcome back."

I took my best friend's hand and shook it. "Thanks, Commander." I glanced down at my blank datapad and frowned. "Good to be back, of course, but where's the latest?"

"Just uploaded everything now, ma'am. Should be hitting the 'pad in a second. Doc said – "

"'No distractions while you're down,'" I repeated, then shook my head. "It's not like I had much else to do while I recovered."

"It's okay. Murphy did a good job keeping us upright in your absence."

I nodded and looked around. "Where is he, anyway?"

Cal gestured to a small, hastily set-up tent about fifty meters away. "Right over there, ma'am. Torran should be in there, too."

I snorted. "I'm dying to see that combo. Any news from Sennu yet?"

"Still on lockdown, from what I'm told. The keep hasn't been breached yet, but honestly, we're…struggling at the moment to keep things contained."

"Got it," I said, as my datapad finally pinged in my hands. I watched as the images and files loaded in. "Well, looks like I've got a lot of studying to do, and not a whole lot of time. Can you give me a quick rundown before I jump in?"

"Your brother's gone again at the moment, trying to drum up support from other nearby keeps. Not everyone's opposed to having us as friends. But it's dangerous because he has to be sure how each faction will react before he approaches. Sennu gave him some hints as to who to ask, but...it's still a human asking Sangheili in the middle of their war if they'll join us."

I shut my eyes for a moment and blew out a breath. "Has Mark been checking in at regular intervals?"

"Yes, ma'am. Every two hours."

"Okay. Here's hoping we get some more numbers in to help, then." I replaced my datapad in my pocket and buckled my web belt closed around me as I spoke. "Anything else?"

Lloyd shook his head. "Still no movement from the rebs. I really think if they were going to show, they would've by now. Especially when they realized you were down and out for a while."

My frown deepened as I adjusted my chest armor in place, then slung my rifle behind my back. "Well, at least they won't know I'm back in the fray now. Let's keep it that way for as long as we can."

"Yes, ma'am."

"I'll keep in touch. For now, maintain contact with my brother and let me know if anything changes. I'd also keep your channels with the rebs open too – I don't think they're out just yet."

"Understood."

"Happy hunting, Cal."

"Same to you, Colonel."

I gave him a quick tap on the shoulder and turned to go. I held my new helmet in one hand, glancing down as I remembered my very close call a few days ago. I wouldn't let myself slip again.

There was a flurry of activity in the command tent when I walked in, just as I'd expected. And all of it came to an immediate halt once I was recognized.

I was swarmed by aides first, congratulating me on my return and diving right into the morning's most pressing questions. I answered as best I could with the little knowledge I had of the situation, admitted I wasn't fully caught up yet, but that I expected to get into the swing of things without delay. Then, once the crowd had dispersed, I saw Major Murphy standing in the back, staring.

He was leaning against the hard plastic shell of the makeshift tent, dark hair checkered with gray in a buzz cut, a day of scruff on his face, and the rest of him decked out in full battle gear despite being indoors. He also had his weapon slung diagonally behind him. Always ready, like myself, even when he didn't need to be.

"Lieutenant Colonel Cooper," he acknowledged, still not moving or changing his guarded expression. "Glad to see you've returned."

"Thank you, Major. I hear you've been keeping things running in my absence. Appreciate it."

"Had to be done, ma'am."

I nodded, then took a deep breath.

"Well, I don't have anything formal for you now, Jack, but consider it done. You've been outstanding from what I hear, and I need a steady second-in-command till Brewer gets back." I stepped closer since he wouldn't, and outstretched my hand. "Congratulations. You're the 52nd Regiment's new XO."

Murphy's expression finally shifted then – something between pride and disbelief. He took my hand and shook it. "Thank you, ma'am. Thank you for – "

"No, thank you, Major. For pushing me to confront my shortcomings, and helping me move past a…very regrettable time in my life. And watching me come out the other side." I folded my arms across my chest and sighed. "We've got one hoop left to jump, and it'll be tough, without a doubt – but it's just one last hurdle."

"Understood, Colonel." He wouldn't look me in the eyes as he said his next words, preferring to stare at a point across the room instead. "Thank you for your patience with me."

I reached out and gave him a friendly clap on the shoulder. "I'm your boss. I had a feeling we'd reach a breakthrough eventually." Otherwise, I thought to myself, I doubt the regiment could have survived it.

I didn't find Torran inside the tent, where Cal said he'd be. The alien commander was outside, watching the bright streaks in the distance light up the sky as the battle for Vettel Keep raged on. He didn't see me at first; he only turned when he saw the reaction of the Sangheili around him as I approached. Their looks were part caution, and part…not quite relief, but a kind of camaraderie. It'd taken a very long time – decades of war, another of peace – to earn that.

"Colonel Cooper," Torran finally said as he turned around. "You've recovered well, I see. Humans are not so fragile as they appear."

I gave him a lopsided grin. "Damn right. You can toss us around like ragdolls, T, and more often than not, we'll get right back up." I came up beside him and folded my arms again, watching the same thing he was with interest. It felt odd, being outside of it this time instead of in the midst. "It's different from here, isn't it?"

"Yes," Torran said, his deep grumble of a voice rumbling through the air. "In my culture, we call it makta."

I furrowed my brows as I glanced over at him. "Makta?"

He nodded once. "The feeling that you're seeing your life from the outside. That you do not belong to your own reality." He shifted his stance, too, ever so slightly. "It is what happens when you're separated from where you long to be. Your true calling. For you and I, that is the battlefield. When we are away from it, we do not feel like ourselves. We do not feel whole."

I snorted. "Don't tell my husband that. I love him very much. And our children. And my dog, too. I feel whole enough when I'm around them."

Torran tilted his head towards me. "Yes, there is family. There can be. But it is not the same." He turned back to face the fighting. "If it were, you would not be here now. You would be on your own planet with your mate and your progeny, enjoying peace. You would not think twice of coming back to war."

For a long moment I thought about what he said. I'd had some peace over the years. I'd even enjoyed it. But I understood what he was saying. It took a special type of person to continue to seek out battle and adventure after so many years of nothing but. I could have done, been anything else by now – this didn't need to be my fight anymore. I'd done enough, seen enough, sacrificed enough over all my adulthood for it. The Human-Covenant War had been over, officially, for eight years now. Hard to think about.

But for some reason, somehow, I kept coming back.

"It's not always for the love of the fight," I finally said. "We return for our comrades and subordinates. The fear that if you're not there to lead them, they won't do as well without you. That they may not survive. That you have to be the one to be there, always, so nothing happens to your men and women in the field."

"Perhaps," Torran responded, and he actually seemed to be mulling that over. "Perhaps." Then he gave me a sidelong glance. "Or perhaps, you refuse to admit that this is where you truly want to be."

"I don't know," I replied, trying to lighten the mood. "Sometimes I enjoy my lazy weekends just like everyone else."

"What?"

I looked at him, his expression puzzled, and realized that maybe Sangheili warriors didn't even recognize things like leisure. "You know, downtime? A lull between fights?"

Torran turned and stared straight ahead. "You mean time to train and grow stronger."

He said it so matter-of-factly that I wasn't sure at first if he was dead serious or if it was a dry joke. I decided it didn't matter. Both could be true for him at the same time. In a way, it had always been for me, too.

"Do you think we can save this keep, Torran?" I finally asked him, staring off in the direction of the fighting again. It was nonstop, and I wondered how everyone was holding up after days and days of this. And beyond the people, I wondered how the structure was still holding. I guess we'd find out soon.

Eventually, Torran responded, "We must."

And there was all the answer I needed. He was right. Like many campaigns I'd been in in the past, the many battles I'd been through – in the end, it was just something that needed to be done.

The sounds of battle gradually increased the closer we got to the lines. Not unexpected. What was unexpected was the amount of heavy fire heading for the keep's gates – Wraith tank blasts and plasma fire filled the open field past the forest, leaving a smoky haze in the air and a perpetual smell of burnt things everywhere. Mark may have been out on a mission right now to gather up as many allies as we could find, that were close enough to help – but it seemed that the enemy had just grown in numbers since I'd gone down.

"Not good," Murphy said beside me as we walked. "They just keep hitting us, and with fresh troops, too. Our Marines and the Sangheili inside the walls must be exhausted by now."

"I know the feeling," I said, holding onto my new helmet for a moment as I thought of my last encounter with the enemy. "Remember Sigma Octanus Four?"

"Wasn't there, ma'am, but I heard about it."

"I was. I was pretty young back then, and one after another, I watched all my senior officers fall, until it was just me and a few others left." I swallowed. "Just me, a twenty-four-year-old first lieutenant leading a whole company for damn near a month. Throughout most of it, I thought we were going to die. I thought I was going to die, a lot. But we made it, obviously. Eventually. And I still don't really know how."

"Perseverance," Murphy said. "And probably your leadership."

I nodded, still frowning. "Maybe. But also luck. And the thing about luck is, it won't last forever. I feel like I've already had it for too long."

"You think this is it?"

"Can't afford to, Major."

"I hear that."

I brought my weapon up now as we started to approach the lines. The smoke was getting thicker. It entered my helmet's filters first, dissipating most of it before it hit my nostrils. The deeper into the grass we went, though, the more concentrated it was. Soon even the filters couldn't fully block it out, and in the next few minutes, a lot of it was going straight into my nose. I hacked a cough and pressed on. Somewhere in this mess were my men, my Marines. And it was up to me to get them out.

"Watch the flanks and our six, Jack," I said to Murphy. "Can never be too careful."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Torran?" I asked on a separate channel.

"Yes, Colonel?"

"You've got twelve o'clock."

I saw movement up ahead, and as soon as my helmet – and visuals – identified it as the enemy, I lightly squeezed my trigger finger and let off a quick burst in the dark. A large figure growled and I saw a quick twist, maybe the enemy turning to face us, before Torran ran right up in front of us and ignited his blue-purple blade right into his brethren's gut.

"Whaaaaaarghhh!" the dying Elite cried out, and I felt – and heard – the splash of blood hit the ground around us.

After it fell I stepped over the creature through the haze, then brought up my gloved left hand to turn on my helmet lamp to see better. "This is just the perimeter watch," I said to the others. "Otherwise we would've fought a lot more than one."

"Agreed," Murphy said, coming up on my right now that the momentary excitement was over. "We need to get the lieutenant colonel inside our lines somehow without getting overwhelmed. So we can get our men moving again."

"Or, we get the regiment to come to us."

The major turned back. "Ma'am?"

"Have them push past the gates so that the enemy is forced back, and they get closer to us. It'll give us a wider defensive position, too. More space means more maneuverability. I think we can do it if - "

"Colonel Cooper, this is Flight Leader! Watch your positions, you've got incoming! I repeat, incoming! We're can't stop them, they came out of nowhere! Get down!"

What the –

It was all I had time to think before the world around us got torn apart. It really felt that way on the ground as we dove face-first into the dirt, covering our heads just in time for the bombardment to sweep its way across our position. The enemy came in hot and fast, and relentless – just one blast after another after another after another. A few times, a couple blasts would burst almost on top of one another, causing huge craters to open up in the ground around us. Trees were splintered, grass disappeared, and dirt and debris flew skyward as reality split and bent at the whim of the enemy's ordnance.

For a while all we could do was hunker down and hope we didn't get hit. And once it finally passed, after an eternity, my ears were ringing so bad I felt like I couldn't breathe.

Couldn't move. Couldn't think.

"Colonel? Colonel Cooper? Cooper? Natalie!"

The world came back at once, and I realized it was Willis screaming into the COM again. I finally found my voice. "Yeah, yeah. I'm here. I'm still here, Will. I just – "

"The rebs are here, Cooper! I repeat, the human rebels are – "

The sound cut out again as another supersonic craft blew past up above. More ordnance dropped right over us, shaking the earth and forcing us back down, trying to make ourselves as small as possible. I didn't even know what had happened to Willis. Maybe he was too busy dogfighting to talk, or maybe he was –

"Coop, I'm still here. I'm still here, too. But you've got – "

Bam! Bam! Bam!

"Will – !"

"Natalie – !"

Bam! Bam! Bam!

"Get them – out of here!" I finally managed.

"We're – trying!" came the terse response. "There's…a lot going on right now!"

When we were finally allowed to breathe for a few seconds, I took the chance to look up. Older model Pelicans were upstairs, fighting with Willis and his air wing for control of the skies. Our air support, that had been our rock this entire time – our one steady form of firepower that the enemy Elites in this area couldn't rival as well – was suddenly facing a losing battle against overwhelming – and unexpected – rebel firepower.

I didn't even know where they'd come from. I didn't think Willis did, either. And very suddenly, they were dominating.

"Cooper, if they're up here, you can bet – "

"They're coming for us on the ground next."

No sooner had I said the words than I started to hear it – reports from non-energy weapons that weren't coming from our lines. Caleb and Willis had been right. The human rebs were really delivering in the eleventh hour.

"We should have gone after them sooner," I said aloud, to no one in particular over the command channel. "Dammit."

"No way to do that, Colonel," my new XO assured me over the COM. "If we'd gone after them during this attack, we would've been spread too thin and lost both fights. You did right."

"But now – "

"But now we're already involved. Let's hope your brother succeeds with what he's doing."

Murphy very succinctly laid out the circumstances, and I nodded to myself as I brought my rifle to bear again. He was right. No use second-guessing decisions now. Now, we were in it, and we had to made due with what we had and the situation at hand.

"Marines, this is Lieutenant Colonel Cooper," I said then, entering the general channel. "You've heard the barrage and the battle going on upstairs. We won't have air support for a while; however, our air wing will keep the aircraft off our backs. The rest is up to us, and we've got another enemy to deal with. The rebs are back. Captain Rapada?" I said, referring to Delaney's second-in-command.

"Yes, ma'am?"

"Start doing what you can to push out your battalion – whatever you need to do, you need to get out and get some room to maneuver. Push the enemy Sangheili back so they'll move in on the human rebs coming up behind them – this should box them in and make it easier to take them on. Let's use the two factions against one another. No one here is friends."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Major Mullen?" I said next. "Start pressing in on the flanks. We push out the Elites enough, they'll start to turn on the rebels coming in. That'll take some of the pressure off us in both directions. The main point here, again, is to get clear of the keep. Help out Rapada's batt by dispersing the crowd at the gates."

"Yes, ma'am."

"And then, once our air commander can get the skies clear again, we can use that aerial firepower we've got."

And once Willis managed that, enough time should've gone by that Mark would be back with - I hoped - more allies that could finally tip the balance in our favor.