TW: discussion of sexual assault without specific details of the attack.

Please be aware that the story from this point forward discusses healing from sexual assault. If this topic may be triggering for you, please do not read the story. Talking about surviving is important, and this story aims to show that survival is absolutely possible.

When I was writing this the lyrics of Uncharted by Sara Bareilles seemed appropriate so I thought I'd include it as an 'unofficial soundtrack'. The tempo of the song is quite upbeat for this scene, so I'm not sure how well it works, but the message of the lyrics fits.

Hiccup sat back, shocked. She couldn't be pregnant. It wasn't possible. Silence hung heavy in the air between them for what felt like hours, but was probably only a matter of moments.

"Astrid...?"

Astrid's shoulders were shaking with silent sobs. Hiccup slipped his arm around her. She didn't lean into him, but she didn't move away either. Hiccup swallowed hard. "Who?"

"Do you remember when we infiltrated the Hunter camp?"

"Yeah..."

"And I was captured." Hiccup nodded, not sure what a mission that took place several moon cycles ago had to do with Astrid's pregnancy. He waited for her to continue, but she seemed to be having some kind of internal struggle with her own will to speak. Hiccup fought back the anger rising in him: she had slept with somebody else.

"I'm sorry." She whispered finally. "It was a mistake."

Hiccup's heart shattered with fury. "Sorry doesn't take it back, Astrid. You're right," he felt hot tears on his face and let go of her arms, "I can't love someone who I don't trust. The Chief Of Berk can't raise another man's child." He stood and stalked across the room, leaning against the door. He wanted to scream and shout; to punch the wall. He could hear his breath coming in ragged gasps.

Hiccup was about to leave, to get on Toothless, fly away and never come back, when Astrid spoke again. "I tried to stop him."

Hiccup's soul fell into his shoe. He wanted to go to her, but his legs wouldn't move. "Astrid?" She didn't turn around, and he stared at her back.

She had stopped crying, and her voice was clear. "I tried to stop him. But he was stronger than me; and I was scared. I didn't fight as much as I should have done. I'm sorry."

Hiccup felt his stomach turn. He pushed the door open, staggered outside and threw up in a nearby bush. He was vaguely aware of the twins yelling something about Astrid having infected him, but he ignored them. Wiping his mouth with his sleeve, he went back to Astrid.

"You were sick." It wasn't a question.

"Sorry." The word felt so feeble and empty. He wished he could take back everything he'd said to her; wished he could go back in time and protect her at the Hunters' camp. "Can I touch you?" Astrid nodded, and Hiccup folded her in his arms. She lent heavily against his chest, and he breathed in the smell of her hair. He wanted to stay suspended in that moment forever with Astrid safe in his arms. But he had to face the consequences. Astrid was pregnant to a rapist, and he'd said awful things that could never be undone.

"Hiccup?" Astrid was looking up at him through her fringe. "It's okay. You freaked. But you came back."

Hiccup kissed her forehead softly. "I should be comforting you, not the other way around."

"Nah, you're too sensitive. That's why I love you." Astrid began to laugh, a hollow desperation bursting forth from her chest. Hiccup joined in, although he wasn't sure why. It wasn't funny.

"What are we going to do?" Hiccup leant back slightly to look into her face.

"We?"

"Yes. Astrid, do you remember when you were blind and I told you that you had me, no matter what?"

"Yeah."

"Well, here's our 'no matter what'." Astrid looked at him intently, and he wondered if she was going to punch him. Suddenly she kissed him. Hiccup wanted to melt into her, to forget that the world existed. It would be so easy. He broke away, and gazed into her blue eyes. He felt something drop in his brain. "The antidote!"

"What about it?"

"You're pregnant! Lots of the medicinal herbs aren't safe for pregnant women." He scrambled to his feet. "I'll find Fishlegs, stay here!"

"No, I want us to stay together." Astrid took Hiccup's hand and led him out of the clubhouse. They ran down to the boar pit, towards the sounds of their friends' voices. Everyone looked up as Hiccup and Astrid emerged breathlessly from the passageway.

"Wow." Said Tuff, "You two look worse than Ruff's chin hair during a thunderstorm."

"The antidote." Hiccup turned to Fishlegs. "What's in the antidote?"

"My experiments haven't finished yet, so I have no conclusive results. I'll-"

Hiccup dropped Astrid's hand and pushed Fishlegs against a nearby rock. "What. Is in. The antidote?"

"Errr..!" Fishlegs stammered. "My preliminary data indicates rosh... indicates roshberries, red oleander, and uhh, sea sn ... sea snake venom."

"What-"

Hiccup was interrupted by Astrid. "Babe, let Fishlegs go."

Hiccup suddenly realised that he was pinning one of his best friends against the wall so hard it was bound to leave bruises. He gasped an apology for the second time that afternoon. Hiccup picked up the book on herbs and, his fingers fumbling, flicked through to find roshberries and red oleander. Neither said anything about pregnancy.

"Nothing on sea snake venom. Fishlegs, what do you know-"

"Let's all go to the club house." Astrid began walking away. Ruff shrugged, and everyone followed her.

Five minutes later they were sat around the table where Tuff and Snotlout had played Maces and Talons the day before. It felt like a lifetime ago, when the world made sense. Well, more sense than it did right now.

"I need to tell you something." Said Astrid quietly. She was sat on the bench with her legs curled up underneath her body.

"Oh, you don't have to tell us." Tuff chuckled. "We already know exactly what you're going to say."

"Really?" Said Astrid.

"Yeah, we're telepathic, remember?" Ruff clicked her neck. "Preparing to detect."

Heather set a mug of yak milk on the table and took a seat. "What is it, Astrid?" Hiccup strongly suspected Heather already knew what Astrid was going to say.

"Obviously," Said Tuff, "Astrid has been secretly keeping a Lycanwing as a pet."

"It's bitten her and the antidote is causing her to morph into a dragon before the full moon." Ruff continued.

"Guys," Fishlegs sighed, "We've been over this. The Lycanwing is a myth."

"Oh, so Astrid's not turning into a blood-thirsty monster?"

"Nope."

"Disappointing." Tuff dropped something that looked suspiciously like an antique dragon hunting knife on to the floor behind him.

Astrid cleared her throat and the others turned to look at her. "I'm pregnant."

"I knew this would happen!" Snotlout's face was a mixture of triumph and indignation. "I warned you that sleeping in the same bed was a bad idea. Did you listen? No. Well clearly your insistence that you weren't 'doing anything' was a complete lie!" He turned to Hiccup. "Oh Gods, I cant wait to see Stoick banish you from the tribe for sex before marriage."

"I wonder who'll be chief next?" Said Tuffnut.

"Me, obviously." Snotlout flexed his muscles.

"Actually," Astrid was blushing furiously, "The baby isn't Hiccup's."

Fishlegs covered his mouth, the twins gasped and Heather knocked over her drink. Hiccup was surprised: Heather obviously didn't know as much as he had thought.

"Ha!" Snotlout slapped the table. "Hiccup's such a lousy boyfriend that Astrid cheated on him!"

Astrid let out a strangled sob, and Hiccup pulled her close to him. "It's alright. I'm here, I'm right here."

"Hang on." Said Fishlegs. "Why are you being nice to her, Hiccup? She's pregnant with another man's child!" Hiccup ignored him and Fishlegs continued, "If you were betrothed Astrid would be executed for treason. And you're hugging her like-"

"Shut up, Fishlegs." Heather spoke with such venom that the whole table looked up. "Let her finish."

Astrid took a shaky breath. "I was-" she was cut off by a gag. Hiccup rubbed Astrid's back as Heather pushed a bin into her lap.

"You're alright." Hiccup soothed. "You don't have to do this, Astrid."

"I need to, Hiccup." After a few seconds Astrid loosened her grip on the bin and swallowed. "I... I was raped." It was the first time she'd said the word and it tasted bitter in her mouth. She closed her eyes, trying to block out the wall of silence from the other riders. She focused on Hiccup, as if his hand on her waist was the only real thing in existence.

Eventually Tuffnut broke the silence. "I don't know what rape is, but I'm gonna guess from your faces that it's, err, no bueno."

Fishlegs spoke quietly. "It means she didn't want to." Fishlegs turned to Astrid. "By Odín, I'm sorry Astrid."

Astrid laughed, the same hollow laughter she and Hiccup had shared earlier. "Don't worry, Fishlegs. You're not the first person to jump to conclusions today." Hiccup rested his chin on the top of her head.

"Wait, so we're not mad at Astrid?" Tuff was still looking confused.

"No." Said Heather quietly. "We're mad at whoever did this."

"Who was it?" Snotlout's voice had a dangerous edge, his usual bravado gone. "I'll make him-"

"I can't tell you, not yet."

"How am I supposed to know who to murder?" Snotlout's hand had tightened on his dagger.

"Ask the twins," Astrid raised her eyebrows, "They're telepathic." Everybody laughed, and Astrid wished they could cocoon themselves in the sound.