TW: sexual violence, vomit, forced miscarriage/ abortion

The riders were sat on the cold flagstones of the cell floor playing with a pack of cards that Ruffnut had produced from inside her body warmer. Hiccup was surprised that they'd been allowed to keep their possessions; he even still had his satchel. He wasn't complaining, though. The game was helping to pass the time.

"Snotlout!" Said Fishlegs, "You can't play a Night Fury on top of a Warrior. In Supudnic Night Furies are always low."

"How'd you figure?" Snotlout looked over the fan of dog-eared playing cards in his hand.

"I read about it in Bark's Guide to Viking Pastimes. Bark is Berk's leading authority on card games, and he clearly states that Night Furies are low in Supudnic."

"Yeah, well Bark's dead and you're stupid so-"

"Ah, Snotlout, you are right!" Cried Tuffnut. "The value of a Night Fury is a cultural meme, we must consider its weight within the context of the society in which we live. "

"Indeed, brother!" Said Ruffnut. "The shift in Berkian perception of dragons since Bark's time has a large impact on the undertones of card games. Also, we're not on Berk so we need to ask our captors..."

Hiccup drowned out the twins and glanced at Astrid. She was sat a few feet away from him, staring intently at her cards. She seemed a lot better than earlier, but she was still wrapped in Snotlout's coat. For once, Hiccup was glad of Snotlout's penchant for pompous accessories; and grateful that he'd handed over his jacket to keep Astrid warm. She looked up and gave Hiccup a smile that didn't reach her eyes. Then she placed a card on the top of the pile, her fingers trembling slightly.

The game continued in silence for several minutes, and Hiccup realised the others were looking anywhere except at Astrid. Apparently Snotlout noticed too. He put his cards down with a sigh. "So, is anyone going to address the yak in the room?"

"Wait, there's a yak in here?" Said Tuff. "I really need to get my eyes tested."

"It's a figure of speech, bro." Ruffnut also lowered her cards. "He's referring to Astrid's completely unstable emotional outburst earlier."

"It wasn't an outburst." Said Astrid. "I just... panicked, that's all. It won't happen again."

Hiccup turned to her. "There's nothing wrong with freaking out, especially given the situation."

"Yeah, me likey girls who are vulnerable. I notice you're still wearing my coat, Babe."

Astrid gave Snotlout a look that could freeze Surtr's flaming sword.

"Okay, okay. Just an observation."

Fishlegs spoke up. "It's okay if you don't want to talk about it, but I am curious to know what a panic attack feels like. I've never seen one before! And we'll be able to support you better if we understand."

Astrid thought for several moments and Hiccup expected her to tell Fishlegs to shut up. Instead, she eventually said, "It was weird, kind of like my body stopped working. My mind was going at a thousand miles an hour and my heart couldn't keep up. I thought I felt someone touching me, stroking my hair. It was horrible."

Snotlout laughed and Hiccup cringed. "Yeah... Um, that was me. Sorry. I was trying to comfort you but I think I just made it worse."

The man in the corner shouted, "You definitely made it worse."

"Thank you for that, kind stranger." Said Hiccup quietly.

Astrid took Hiccup's hand. "You did help, though, when you were talking to me towards the end. I'm sorry I panicked, I couldn't see you and it reminded me of Ryker and I-"

"Ryker?" Said Tuffnut. "When has Ryker ever touched you?"

Hiccup wondered briefly whether his heart had stopped. "Astrid?" He shuffled closer to her. She looked down at her hands and he spoke as gently as he could. "It was Ryker, wasn't it?" Astrid gave a small nod. She suddenly looked like a frightened child. Hiccup wanted to pull her into his lap, hold her tight for all eternity so that nobody could hurt her again. Instead, he lightly touched her shoulder.

Astrid brushed his hand away. She sat up straight and spoke with her usual confidence. "We've always known he's a monster. I won't let him hurt me."

"Oh, that's a relief," Said Tuff, "because it looked like he was having a huge effect on you. You know, with all the puking and crying and hyperventilating and-"

"Enough, Tuffnut." Said Hiccup firmly.

Astrid shot cool daggers at her boyfriend. "I can defend myself just fine, Hiccup."

"I know." Hiccup tried to keep his voice from breaking. He wanted to protect her, but the one time she had really needed him he hadn't been there.

Astrid glanced at Hiccup. "I don't need to be constantly mollycoddled, Hiccup. You don't have to treat me like a piece of broken china, you know."

Hiccup looked away. "Okay."

Hiccup couldn't hold back the tears. Astrid sighed and pulled him into an embrace. "C'mere, Babe." She spoke softly, and Hiccup wrapped his arms around her body. Astrid ran her hand through his hair. "I'm sorry I snapped."

"Don't apologise," whispered Hiccup. "I'm sorry. I need to be more sensitive of-"

"It helps."

"What?"

"It helps when you talk to me, hold me, when you stroke my hair and rub my back. I guess I'm just embarrassed, I feel so pathetic and useless."

Hiccup lent back and looked into her face. "Astrid, being upset doesn't make you weak. I'm so proud of how well you're coping; expressing your emotions is so important." He stroked his thumb across the fresh tears on her cheek. "You're the bravest human I know."

Astrid lent in to Hiccup's shoulder and kissed his neck, her mouth sending electric sparks against his throat. He slipped his hands under Snotlout's jacket and pressed against her back. Astrid ran her fingertips through Hiccup's hair as she told him she loved him. He repeated it back against her lips, their words mixing with tears. They kissed desperately, and once again Hiccup wanted to drown in Astrid. After several moments they broke apart.

Snotlout rolled his eyes at them. "Now that you've finished attempting to make babies with your clothes on, can we talk about Ryker?"

"Sure." Said Astrid. "But I'm not convinced there's much to talk about."

"Oh, there's plenty to talk about, young lady." Said Ruffnut. "Firstly, there's the reason he did it."

"Yeah," Said Tuffnut. "I really don't think you're Ryker's type. You're too skinny."

Hiccup sighed. "Ryker raped Astrid because Viggo told him to. Viggo's using Astrid to get inside my head, he knows she's the only thing I care about enough to completely lose my grip. It was an act of war; it had nothing to do with sex. Rape never does. It literally doesn't matter what type Ryker chooses for consensual sexual partners because Astrid was not his partner."

"Ugh!" Tuff groaned, "Imagine what it would be like to sleep with that psychopath. I wouldn't like to meet that unfortunate soul, she'll probably catch a hideous disease and-"

Astrid fixed Tuffnut with a deadpan stare.

"Ohhhh, right. You... know what it's like to... erm, yeah. I'm sure you're not diseased, I mean, you look fairly healthy to me. Your skin isn't covered in purple spots or anything."

Astrid flicked her hair over her shoulder. "Anyone else got any questions, whilst we're discussing the most private thing that's ever happened to me?"

"Yeah." Said Snotlout. "We infiltrated Ryker's camp ages ago. Why did you only start freaking out recently?"

Astrid sighed and fiddled with the dust on the floor. "It's complicated. I knew it had happened, and I knew I should be upset. But I felt okay, kind of distant. Like it had happened to someone else."

"Yeah," Said Ruffnut, "but why start feeling it now? I mean, it's not great timing what with Viggo and the People Of Hope. Unless you're working for Viggo. Although, that would explain quite a lot, actually."

"Astrid's not working for Viggo, Ruff." Said Fishlegs.

Astrid ignored Ruffnut's final comment. "I don't know. I've been going over it in my head but I can't think of a single reason why anything changed."

"You don't have to know why, Astrid." Fishlegs said. "Not everything happens for a reason."

Astrid nodded, then placed a Seven of Maces on the pile of cards.

"Aaah!" Snotlout picked up from the discard pile and play continued.

The light spilling through the window was starting to take on the bruised quality of late afternoon. It must be at least 6pm now, and Hiccup thought wistfully of Toothless. They always went flying at sunset.

The door to the cell opened and several plates of bread were shoved through. Snotlout held up one of the small loaves. "Is this all we get? Don't they know a warrior needs to eat?"

"We're prisoners, Snotlout. But by all means tell them otherwise." Hiccup grabbed two plates and passed one to Astrid. She shook her head. "You need to eat." He said gently.

"I feel sick."

"I know, Astrid, but you're not going to get better if you don't eat."

Astrid sighed. "I don't think I'll keep it down."

"Eating will make you feel better. An empty stomach won't be helping."

"Here," the female prisoners had crossed the room. One held out the metal bucket previously full of fabric scraps, which they'd tipped out in their corner of the cell. Astrid took the bucket wordlessly.

The other woman knelt down and pressed a small amber rock into Astrid's hand. "Quaferium. Helps with nausea. And we're not just giving it to you because we're in the same cell."

Astrid laughed. "Thank you. I'm Astrid."

"Cordelia." Said the woman who had given Astrid the stone. "This is Amelie." She pointed at the other woman. Hiccup noticed that they both had streaks of grey in their black hair.

Amelie smiled stiffly and turned to the rest of the group. "What are you playing?"

"Supudnic." Said Ruffnut. "Wanna join in? We're going to need two more players whilst Hiccup helps Astrid barf."

Hiccup turned his attention to Astrid, who was fiddling with the bread. "Angel, you need to eat it. Hopefully it won't make you sick." He took a bite of his own loaf. It was slightly stale and chewy, but otherwise fine. Astrid sighed and took a mouthful. Hiccup reached out and held her hand, stroking his thumb across her knuckles.

Astrid set down the bread after eating less than half. "I'm done." Hiccup considered asking her to eat more, but she was already looking slightly green.

He lightly placed the bucket in front of her and rubbed her back. "See if you can keep it down, Astrid." They sat in silence for several minutes before Astrid groaned and rested her forehead against the metal rim. Hiccup continued to rub his hand in smooth circles on Astrid's back. "You'll feel better in a minute, Angel." She didn't look up, but her shoulders tightened. She shifted, and forcefully threw up into the bucket. It was over as soon as it started.

Astrid sat up and Hiccup hugged her. She groaned quietly against his shoulder. "Why do I keep puking?"

"It's pregnancy sickness, Babe."

Cordelia paused, about to play one of her cards. "You're pregnant?"

Astrid slipped around in Hiccup's arms to face her. "Yeah?"

"Don't tell the People Of Hope. They don't take kindly to pregnant prisoners."

Astrid nodded, then let out a sudden moan of pain.

"Sore?" Asked Amelie. "Get your husband to rub your lower back, works wonders."

Hiccup did as instructed, alarmed by Astrid's apparent discomfort. She'd been shot in the leg before and walked it off as nothing. He spoke to Amelie over the top of Astrid's head. "Actually, we're not married yet."

"Gosh," Cordelia looked surprised. "Definitely don't tell the tribe you're pregnant."

"Press harder." Said Astrid quietly. Hiccup applied as much pressure as he dared, the heel of his hand digging firmly into Astrid's back. He watched the others as they continued their game of Supudnic. Fishlegs kept interrupting to explain the rules to Amelie and Cordelia.

"Wanna join in?" Fishlegs said to Hiccup and Astrid. "We're starting a new round."

"I'm good." Muttered Astrid with her eyes closed. Hiccup held her closer to his chest, and Fishlegs nodded.

The twins were fighting over who a particular hand of cards belonged to. "That one's mine, you mutton head!" Yelled Ruffnut.

"No, it contains the queen of union ceremonies." Tuff was holding the cards out of Ruffnut's reach. "You're not the queen of anything. And I can officiate Viking unions."

"Tuff, you can't-" Fishlegs began, but was interrupted by Ruffnut.

"Hardest punch wins?"

"You're on!"

Whilst everybody waited for the twins to finish thumping each other, Hiccup looked down at Astrid. She was sweating, and clearly trying to hide how much pain she was in. "Where does it hurt, Astrid?"

Astrid wordlessly placed her hand on her lower abdomen. Hiccup's heart twisted. Was something wrong with the baby? He began gently rubbing Astrid's stomach in an attempt to relieve the pain.

"No. Rub my back. Cramps." She was breathless.

Hiccup began applying deep pressure to Astrid's back again. "Hey, d'you remember our first dragon training session with Gobber when we were kids?"

"Hmm."

"You said that 'it's only fun if you get a scar out of it'. Looks like you'll have to settle for some serious bruises this time, milady." Hiccup kissed the top of Astrid's head.

"This isn't fun." Astrid gasped and dug her fingernails into Hiccup's leg. "Press harder!"

"I'll really hurt you if I press any harder."

Hiccup heard Snotlout snicker and Tuff whisper-shout, "He should just do as he's told. Doesn't he know anything about women?"

Astrid groaned and pressed her temple hard against Hiccup's collar bone. "Hiccup!"

"Babe, you're going to-"

"Hicc-up!" She was now gripping him so tightly she was drawing blood.

"Okay, okay." Hiccup pressed his hand as firmly against her lower back as he could, worried he was going to break her spine. Astrid relaxed her grip on him.

Snotlout was laughing. "You always do whatever Astrid tells you. The future chief of Berk, ladies and gentlemen!"

Cordelia had come over looking concerned. She spoke to Hiccup. "What's Astrid's pain tolerance like?"

"Stupidly high."

Cordelia touched Astrid's arm. "Are you bleeding, dear?" Astrid shook her head and Hiccup let out the breath he didn't even know he'd been holding. Cordelia frowned. "Have you had any pain in the last few weeks?"

"Only when I go to the loo."

Cordelia's face creased. "Astrid, I think you might have been injured during the attack."

"No, I'm fine."

Hiccup looked up from destroying Astrid's back muscles. "How do you know you're not hurt? Clearly something's wrong."

"Hiccup," Astrid whispered, "I don't want this baby."

"I know it's awful, Astrid, and I can't even pretend to understand what you're going through. But I love you and I'm going to stay right here with you, okay?"

"You can't raise another man's child."

Hiccup's airways constricted. "Astrid," He swallowed. "I should never have said that."

"It's true, though. You're going to be Chief. You can't marry the mother of a Dragon Hunter's baby."

Hiccup rested his spare hand against Astrid's stomach. "This is not a Dragon Hunter's baby. This is the baby of Astrid Hofferson, warrior of Berk. Astrid, I love you. Any child you have is mine. It doesn't matter who the 'father' is; only who loves the baby."

"You love the baby? Just because it's growing inside me? Are you serious?"

Hiccup gently moved her chin to look her dead in the eyes. "Yes."

"Okay." Her breath was ragged. "Hiccup, I love the baby too. But I feel like I shouldn't, there's a death sentence feeding off my womb."

"It's okay to feel like that, Angel, it's natural. But we'll get through this together. There will always be a Hiccup and Astrid. Always. None of this changes that fact."

Astrid buried her face in Hiccup's tunic and they sat in silence for several minutes, Hiccup still massaging Astrid's back. Then Astrid spoke. "I took blue oleander."

"Oh. Well, it's poisonous to dragons, not humans."

Fishlegs whimpered. Hiccup had forgotten the other riders were present. He glanced at his friend. "What is it, Fishlegs?"

"Well, erm, it's just..." Fishlegs was wringing his hands.

"Out with it!"

"Blue oleander induces miscarriage in around fifty percent of Viking women who swallow it." Fishlegs garbled the words.

"Astrid..." Hiccup looked at the woman in his lap.

"Hiccup, did you mean it? What you said about me and the pregnancy."

"I meant every word."

Astrid's voice choked. "I don't want to lose the baby." Hiccup didn't know what to say.

Cordelia took Astrid's hand. "Okay, love. Hopefully this'll pass without miscarriage. We've just got to get you through the pain. Leave it in the hands of the Gods."

Hiccup was staring into the distance. He should have realised that she would be finding pregnancy traumatic. But, once again, he hadn't been there when she needed him. Astrid had taken poison by herself and not told him, and now their baby was dying. From the looks of things, Astrid might even be dying too.

"Hiccup!" Cordelia's voice was sharp. "Hold it together."

Hiccup looked at Astrid. She was still curled up in his lap, Cordelia holding her hand. He continued to rub her back, but ran his other hand down her arm. "I'm here, Angel, I've got you." He turned to Cordelia. "She needs to see a healer. We need to call-"

"No. They'll find out she's pregnant; nobody can know."

Astrid wriggled, then muttered, "Hiccup, help me turn around." He helped her reposition herself so their fronts were touching and Astrid's chin was resting on his shoulder. Her legs were wrapped around his back, and he wondered whether she'd ever let go. He could quite happily have stayed like that forever. Hiccup stroked Astrid's hair gently. She tensed and he lightly rubbed her shoulders. Astrid made a soft choking sound followed by a small wetness on Hiccup's tunic.

"Shhh, it's okay, Babe." He whispered to her. She shifted, gagged very quietly and brought up more fluid.

"Is she being sick?" Asked Cordelia. Hiccup nodded and continued rubbing the top of Astrid's back. Cordelia moved behind Hiccup, presumably to feel Astrid's forehead.

"Ewwwww!" Yelled Snotlout.

"You're not helping, Snotlout." Said Hiccup. He made gentle hushing sounds in Astrid's ear as she gagged but wasn't sick. "You're nearly done, Astrid."

After a few more minutes of Astrid straining weakly, she sighed. "I need to puke but nothing's coming up."

"Okay, Angel. Do you want to eat something? It might help." Astrid shifted to lean against Hiccup's chest. Cordelia passed across the bread Astrid hadn't eaten earlier. Astrid ate the remainder, then groaned quietly. She reached for the bucket. She didn't make it in time, missed the bucket and threw up over the floor.

"Oh Honey." Hiccup placed the bucket in Astrid's lap and rubbed firm circles into her back. "Deep breaths, okay?"

Astrid clung to Hiccup as he touched her braid, smoothing her hair. When she spoke, her voice cracked. "Sorry."

"Don't apologise, Babe, it's not your fault." Hiccup kissed Astrid's cheek. "Feeling any better?"

"Yeah." Astrid attempted a smile. "I'm fine, Hiccup."

Hiccup pulled Astrid into a hug and whispered. "I know you're not fine, Astrid. You don't have to hide it from me."