DISCLAIMER: I base my stories on Intellectual Property (IP) owned by BioWare™ and EA™. I pretend to live in their world.

SPOILERS: I refer to information from the games, the novels and the comics. If you have not played or read, please beware.

A SONG IN THE STILLNESS

Chapter 18: Revelations

9:33 Dragon, August === Areth

Pippa stood at the wall of windows in the Anthropological Research Institute's third floor conference room and looked out over the living history center, thinking that the town could be one in Ferelden, as viewed from a hillside, instead of through the expansive glass window of a modern building. She had not visited Hiever in years and, in the interim, many additions had been made to the representation of a Ferelden town spread below her. Off to the left, concealed from view by a small copse of pine and hardwood, the Institute had added a model Dalish encampment, complete with Aravels, but with human artisans, pursuing what they understood of Dalish crafts. The small Fereldan town, barely more than a village, that she recalled from school trips, had become a large market town with a resemblance to South Reach, complete with a Chantry. A village and farmholds, with sheep in the meadows, dotted the hill above the town; a wall encircled it; and the tourney grounds, armory, and smithy lay far to the right, beyond her view. No sounds penetrated the windows, but she could see how busy the attraction had become. Arethians and outlanders wandered through, speaking with the re-enactors, attempting crafts, and listening to lectures.

Lys had always loved Hiever, the Institute, its public displays, and the Cousland compound outside the town. On her travels with Kai for House Haris, she had collected what information and artifacts she could for her Aunt Liv. Pippa recalled Lys struggling with how much Dalish lore and craft she could provide without betraying her friendship with the Rasiae. Her desire to preserve what she knew finally outweighed her doubts. Pippa wondered what Kai thought of all this and realized she would soon find out.

Sighing, Pippa walked to the other end of the large conference room for a different view. From there she could see the armory, with its open-air smithy and sparring ring. She watched a group of boys enter the ring, followed by an older man with a mustache and neatly trimmed beard. Pippa squinted as the man turned to face the boys. It can't be, but, Maker, he looks like King Maric. She shook her head as he turned away, noticing his gray hair which hung to his shoulders. He could be gray by now, but where has he been? Here all this time? She chuckled. Don't be an idiot, Pippa, it's just someone who resembles him. Next thing you'll see is someone who looks like Alistair.

"No, you won't see Ali, but you're not mistaken. It is Maric."

Pippa whirled around realizing she must have spoken her thoughts aloud. "Lys!"

"Do I surprise you too? I thought you came to see me?" Her oldest friend stood, arms crossed, a solemn look on her face.

Pippa walked around the table and approached. "I did, Lys. Zev made so much sense arguing that you lived, and, given the stories the elves told, I had doubts too. I said nothing. I didn't want to encourage Fergus. I never thought you ran away.

"It took me a while to decide to come and then I had to wait until after the wedding and Anora and Fergus' visit to Highever. Actually, they're still at Castle Cousland, but settled enough that I could come through the portal. I'm chattering, aren't I?" She reached out and touched Lys' arm, as if to assure herself that the figure was not a hologram.

Lys stepped forward and hesitated a moment, before drawing Pippa into a hug. "I'm glad you came. Mum and I have been trying to figure out how to tell you. There's Will - Ali and my son - who's a Theirin carrying Calenhad's blood. Wasn't sure how Anora would react to that. I didn't want to put you in an awkward position - keeping my secret while serving Anora." She stopped.

"And Fergus?"

"Yes, him too. Me, the shirker, with a son who's a Theirin and a Cousland and…I'm not looking forward to facing an angry Fergus - again. I thought we'd worked through all his anger in Highever three years ago. Mum thought it best to wait until after the wedding and then convince him to bring Anora here. I can appear, and Mum can give them her news too."

"Her news?"

Lys released Pippa and stepped back. "Mum and Loghain married, but kept it secret so it wouldn't stop Fergus and Anora from marrying."

"Oh, that's not news to Anora or me!" Pippa laughed. "Your Mum confirmed the rumors when we visited her at Dame Reggie's. Anora knew from her…well, Erlina's contacts in Gwaren. Anora's thrilled, but, you're right, Fergus might not be as accepting. Anora plans on telling him while they're in Highever. It won't come as a surprise to many others either - except perhaps the Chantry, since they didn't use it to object to Anora and Fergus' nuptials."

"I'm sure they would have, had they known, but that isn't the only problem the Chantry has with Loghain." Lys saw the puzzled look on Pippa's face. "Pippa, didn't Nate tell you about the blood magic? In addition to all the forged letters Howe used to convince him of Papa's guilt, Loghain often had no idea what he was doing. His obstinate opposition to anything Orlesian left him open to blood magic manipulation and mind control, but only for brief periods."

"Nate never mentioned the blood magic. The Tevinters?"

"And others working with or for them." She laughed softly. "Nate can keep a secret, can't he? Don't be angry with him. Only a few of us know about Loghain and, fortunately the Chantry wants it kept quiet for their own reasons, but they worry the blood magic influence lingers somehow."

"Other reasons?"

"They don't want it known that the templars somehow missed a blood mage coven right under their noses in Denerim. Mistakes like that don't build confidence in the order. Particularly when the wardens, led by a mage and almost templar do find and destroy it."

"No, that would be – really, they missed it?" Pippa laughed softly.

"Gives Anora, Fergus and Leonas leverage over Elemena." Lys grinned. "Not sure she would have reinstated the Highever Accord otherwise, or left Loghain alone. Now they'll have to accept Mum and Loghain's marriage, as well."

"I wondered why the Grand Cleric agreed so readily."

"All who knew agreed it wouldn't help matters if anyone, even Elemena, told the Landsmeet about the blood magic used on Loghain. If they did, he'd have templars trailing him everywhere to keep the nobles quiet."

"He's…the influence, it's not permanent?"

"No, but that's the question every noble would ask. Howe used the blood magic to get him to do his bidding, sign documents and such, but it passed quickly. He wouldn't remember signing anything. Or he'd believe Orlais did something and react as Howe wanted. He's fine now."

"And no templars spy on him in Gwaren?"

"Fortunately, Gwaren is small enough, new faces are noticed. Mum's pretty sure the two Chantry sisters who just arrived in Gwaren are spies. Loghain decided it best just to let them look and find nothing beyond himself and Mum's marriage. Too late for them to do anything now."

"You sound like you've spoken to him. Has he been here, then? Do he and Maric still get along?"

"He and Maric took a while to warm up to each other again," Lys smirked, purposely understating their first meeting, "but, yes, he visits and they're remembering how to be friends. Mum visits, and Fiona too." Lys grinned again seeing Pippa's eyes widen. "Maric is Will's grandfather and Fiona's his grandmother."

"Fiona's what? She's a mage and-"

"-an elf. Ali's elf-blooded."

"You've known? He knows?"

"Pippa, Ali was born at Castle Cousland. Mum wet-nursed him until Fiona recovered enough from the birth to feed him herself. I discovered the secret years ago and Ali met Fiona during the Blight at Mairyn's Refuge, when she came with the Nevarran wardens."

Eyes wide, Pippa mouth opened, but she could only manage an "Oh."

"It's not something I could share, with anyone. Not you and not Kai. Your mum knew, but…there was never a good time to tell you."

"I understand," Pippa said slowly, "still-"

"-it hurts that I didn't trust you. Only it's not about trust; it just wasn't my story to share."

"No. No, it wasn't, but now it is. When was your son born?"

"He's a few months younger than your Thomas, born in Firstfall."

Pippa laughed. "Ah, so walking, into everything, and babbling incessantly with an occasional Mama or Da tossed in?" She stopped. "I'm so sor-"

"-all true, except instead of Da it's Gandy." Lys reached out for Pippa's hand. "Pip, I'm so glad you're here. I want to meet your Thomas and see Nate. Our boys should be friends." She pulled Pippa towards the door. "Let's go see Kai and Will. They're in the weaving house. Maric will join us when the sparring's finished and we'll go home."

"Is this home now?"

Lys hesitated. "Mostly. It's safe. Will wouldn't be safe in Thedas, but I'll let Maric explain why when he tells his story." They began to walk down the hallway. "I miss it though. I wish we could go back and feel safe. I might go." She looked at Pippa. "Not to Ferelden, but on one of Liv's expeditions. The Institute has an outpost in Ansburg and hopes to explore an ancestral Elvhenan ruin a few days from that city. Kai and I could help, particularly if we find Dalish camped nearby." She began walking more quickly. "Come on, let's go find them."

x==========x

Stretched out on the chaise longue on the stone patio, Pippa sipped coffee and watched the early morning mist begin to disappear and reveal the waters of the lake. She had almost forgotten the comforts Areth offered and was enjoying the respite. This trip had been an impulse visit. Using the portal's communicator, she had contacted Olivia through the Institute and set it up in just a few hours, even using the limited access Institute portal, rather than the main port of entry in Revona City. She had had no time to prepare Nate for this visit, but surely, he would agree to come to Areth to see Lys and Maric when she returned!

Olivia had suggested that Nate and Pippa travel with Fergus and Anora, to keep them company on their visit. Nate and Anora could attend orientation together; Fergus and Pippa could provide support to their spouses and watch Elin, Thomas and, by then, the new Cousland baby. They had decided not to reveal Lys' survival to Fergus, not that it would surprise him if he truly believed his ranting. But if he does, why hasn't he come here to confront Lys?

Once Anora and Fergus arrived in Highever after their wedding, he had rather bluntly told Anora about Areth, and then asked Pippa to help explain the distant planet to this wife. Wishing they had done this in Denerim, when Eleanor could have helped, Pippa did her best. As part of the explanation, she told Anora that she believed Lys lived and that she and Kai now resided in Areth. Anora had agreed that Lys must have good reasons for staying away and the promise of seeing her again helped reconcile Anora to the trip through the portal. Neither mentioned Pippa's suspicions to Fergus.

She sighed, refusing to wonder how Fergus would react to Lys, not to mention Maric. Then again, once he found out Loghain and Eleanor married…Maker, she could only hope Anora would convince Fergus that their marriage made sense. And that Anora would accept Will and Maric. So many complications.

Smiling she watched Will race his mum across the lawn. He had Alistair's dark blond hair, complete with reddish tints, and greenish, hazel eyes. Greener than Alistair's had been, so that must be Lys' contribution. Otherwise, he looked like a small version of his Da or his Gandy. In addition to the Tevinter and Orlesian threats Maric had explained, he's Queen Elin's cousin and in line for the throne. I wonder how Anora will take that? Lys is wise to keep him here, him and Maric, no matter how much she misses Ferelden. If Fergus will listen to her, he might understand too.

Sighing she got up to pack for her trip back to Highever. She had contacted the Travelers Bureau in Revona and set a date for Anora and Nathaniel's orientation - some weeks after Anora's due date. At least, once we've visited, there'll be fewer secrets.

9:33 Dragon, Kingsway === Markham

Looking forward to a long, hot soak in the Scholar's Rest bathhouse, Alistair took the steps up to his rooms two at a time. As he put the key in its lock, he noticed the thread he had placed between the door and the jamb had disappeared. Looking at the lock more closely, he saw one fine, shiny scratch that had not been there when he left. Sighing softly, he stood to one side, his short sword in his right hand, and twisted the key with his left. The latch released, and the door swung open. He looked at the carefully placed, small polished metal mirror on the wall inside and saw nothing out of place in the reflection. Then he realized the door to the smaller, second room, where he stored his belongings, was not fully shut.

Grateful that he had removed his muddy boots already, he moved silently across the floor in his hose, avoiding those boards he knew creaked. Sidling along the wall, he peered into his bed chamber, but saw no one. Moving farther, he came to the not quite closed door and kicked it open.

A brown-haired elf, stretched out, his hands behind his head, opened his and slowly smiled. "Alun, you have returned. I had almost given up."

Alistair let his sword drop. "Zevran!"

"No, no, no. I am Zack. An itinerant sell sword wandering the roads looking for work. I thought perhaps I might find…umm…something to occupy me here." He swung his legs over the side of the cot and sat up. "I've missed you, caro."

Alistair frowned, thinking of how alone he had felt returning to Soldier's Peak to find Zevran gone. "I've missed you too," he said softly. "You left without saying goodbye. It's good to see you alive and safe."

"Alive, yes; safe," he shrugged, "perhaps for now."

"No assassins lately?"

"I have covered my trail with great care," he looked up at his tall friend, his long hair, dyed a dull brown, falling away from his faceand grinned."With, as you can see, great sacrifices to my allure." Growing serious again, he continued. "You do understand I had to leave Soldier's Peak once the Crow assassins attacked me? I could not risk them finding out you live or harming you or any of the others."

Alistair put down the sword. "I know." He sat on the bed next to Zevran. "It hit me hard, but I understood. Since then, we've heard rumors-"

"-we?"

"Liam, through the wardens and a friend in Kirkwall."

"Ah, Varric." Zevran smirked at Alistair's raised eyebrows. "He's very protective of you. Despite my letter from Liam, he insisted Anders assure him I could be trusted with your whereabouts. You have good friends, caro. That makes me happy."

"I do. Kirkwall's an odd place, but it's home, I guess, although life's good here too." His eyes narrowed. "You're changing the subject. We heard about lots of death and chaos among the Crows in Antiva. You wouldn't know anything about that?"

Zevran pursed his lips and shook his head. "I heard a masked man they call the Black Shadow caused all the havoc." He stood up and brushed off the sleeves of his tunic, tugging them until they hung straight. Alistair's lip quirked upward as he stood and watched his friend, knowing the ritual allowed the elf to compose himself. His tunic neatly arranged, he took only a few steps before Alistair pulled him into a bear hug.

"Maker I missed you," Alistair muttered into Zev's ear. "I couldn't stay at the Peak alone." He let Zevran go.

"So, you boarded yourself up into a crate? I have trouble imagining…naked? So cold in winter. I wish I could have joined you to keep you warm."

Alistair snorted. "Not naked, but very cold. And damp."

The two walked into the common room where Alistair lit the coals in the braziers and motioned to the chairs in front of the larger one. Zevran sat, slouching against the cushions, with one leg thrown over the arm.

"Liam believed you were in Kirkwall – he does not know about Markham? – and told me where to find Varric. Anders provided assurances, which calmed Varric and your other friends. As did Merrill — Liam told me she was there. An interesting bunch, yes?"

Alistair laughed. "I do attract strange friends." He hesitated, making Zevran chuckle. "I write to Varric regularly, so I just continued to send my messages to Liam through him. You must have just missed me in Kirkwall. I divide my time between the two cities and only recently returned here, but Varric would have told you that." He looked at his hands, stained with ink and charcoal. Holding them up he said, "I was about to take a bath."

"Ah, I will join you."

Alistair's mouth quirked up, "You're welcome to. There are several tubs and the common hot pool. You'll stay here, right? The room you already claimed is available."

"Should I have asked first?"

Grinning, Alistair shook his head. "No. My home is yours."

"Perhaps I can be of some use to your university friends? A guard, perhaps? A lover. A spy? I was serious about an occupation of some sort."

"We'll speak with Master Olivia. I suspect she can find something." Walking to his own room, he looked over his shoulder. "You mean Varric didn't give you an assignment?" Zev only grinned.

In his own room, Alistair undressed until he wore only his tunic, grabbed a cotton cloth, his wool cloak, and a small pouch containing soap, some herbs for the bath and his razor. He grabbed an extra length of cotton cloth and tossed it to Zevran when they met in the common room. He offered soap, but Zev held up his own pouch and they headed for the door.

"Such a spacious flat for one person. Your work must pay well."

"I don't need the money, Zev. I went on an expedition last year with my friends in Kirkwall, which proved very profitable. I do earn good coin here and it pays for the flat, but I don't have to work, I just need to."

"So, there is a story?"

Alistair laughed as they went down the stairs to the bathhouse, built over a hot spring. "Yeah, there's a story." And, since they were the only occupants, he proceeded to tell Zev about it as they soaked in the large common bath.

"I am sorry I missed this expedition. Not just for the profit, but for the adventure. You say you left some treasure behind?"

"I'm not going back, Zev. None of us would. That red lyrium, if that's what it was, and the creatures…no. I hate the normal Deep Roads. No way I'll return to that ancient Thaig."

Zev grinned and shrugged. "Ah, you lack my taste for adventure."

For a time, they just sat and soaked in the warm pool. Alistair studied Zevran, who had leaned back and closed his eyes. The warm water had washed away whatever the elf had used to cover his facial tattoo, but it did not clean the dye from his hair. Like Alistair's scar, the dull brown hair, pulled into a queue at his neck, worked as disguise, particularly when paired with the loose, nondescript grey tunic and breeches lying on the bench in the bathing cubicle. Naked in the pool, his tattooed face so familiar, Alistair could recognize the familiar lean, muscular shoulders and arms and the edge of the tattoo that he knew covered Zev's back.

"Do you like what you see, caro?"

"How do you do that? Your eyes did not open, not even a slit!"

Zevran only smirked and opened his eyes. "I must say you look slimmer, but your muscles have not suffered. Do you still get up before sunrise?"

It was Alistair's turn to smirk. "I'll try to be quiet, so you can get your full beauty rest."

"I don't think I can resist the urge to spy, Alistair. You doing forms is a thing of beauty. Only Kailian could divert my attention from your poses." He cocked his head. "Do you have a brother illuminator who might draw you?"

"What?" Alistair huffed. "No. I do not pose, I work."

Zev chuckled. "So, tell me more about these friends in Kirkwall."

Alistair frowned, but began to speak about his life at the Hanged Man, relaxing against the warm stone rim of the pool. Since Zev had met his friends, he found it easy to recount their adventures, easier for him than reminiscing about Kai and Lys. Zev spoke of his recent travels in Ferelden, rather than his months in Antiva. Zev had brought a skin filled with Antivan brandy which they sipped as they talked. It hardly seemed possible that almost two years had passed since they last saw each other.

The two sat on the stone seat that circled the pool below the water line, but beyond the seat the pool bottom sloped downward. It came up to Zevran's smooth, hairless chest when they stood and moved across the center to reach the steps. To Zevran's disappointment, the water covered Alistair torso almost to his waist. Zev watched it run off the triangle of reddish-blond hair between his nipples. It ran down the trace of hair that led to his navel. Zev could only imagine the thatch that must grow below. An ache began deep in his groin and he lifted his hand but stopped before he touched his friend.

Don't be a fool, Zevran. He will not welcome your caresses.

Alistair moved in front of Zev and climbed the steps towards the open door to the bathing chambers on the men's side, each with its own wooden tub, providing Zev with a view of a taut ass and well-muscled thighs. Zev stayed behind, trying to control his own breathing and concealing his engorgement, as he let himself admire his friend's muscular physique. Alistair, pulling back the curtain to the bathing chamber where he had left his cloak and razor, did not look back. He stepped inside and pulled the curtain closed. He, too, tried to calm his breathing as he sat on the bench by the tub.

Maker, we used to joke about a foursome, but I never wanted Zev before. Good thing that pool is deep. He looked down on his own erection. I thought for a moment he was going to touch me, and I wish he had. Confused thoughts - whys and what ifs and why nots - ran through his mind. It would just feel so good to be touched again. His hand moved as he leaned against the wall, his eyes closed, and wondered, imagined, fantasized - but not about Lys. He groaned as he came.

Two stalls down, Zevran's thoughts ran in a similar, if less confused, direction. He prefers women, Zevran. The elf pursed his lips. As do I. And neither of the women we love are here, so why not? What's the worst that can happen? He rejects me; I pretend it's a joke. He'll be awkward for a few days and then all will be well, yes? Yes.

The bathing chambers had clever plumbing which allowed hot spring water and cooler well water to flow into the wooden tubs. Large enough for a tall human to sit, with legs bent, the tub more easily accommodated the slim, shorter elf. Too bad these tubs aren't larger. I'd try my luck, but it would prove far too awkward. No, I think a slow seduction is in order. I can stop at any time if he resists.

He thought about the past, and his time with Kai at the inn in Lake Calenhad Docks. He had taught her how to enjoy physical love making; she had taught him the difference between love and lust. Oh, he had cared for Rinna, but he had not loved her as he did Kai. The regret and anger over Rinna had been as much about their betrayal by his Crow masters as it had Rinna's death. He had paid them back many times over for both. His search for Kai had found nothing, not even a body. Now he wanted a respite. A warm bed, warm arms to hold him, and someone who knew and cared about his best self, the self that Kai loved too. He could only hope Alistair wanted the same.

"Zev?" Alistair spoke softly. "You didn't fall asleep in the bath, did you?"

"No, my wealthy friend. I did not. I am clean and about to be presentable." Zevran pushed back the curtain and appeared with the cotton cloth wrapped around his hips, very low around his hips, leaving his navel and the golden hair below it quite visible. He saw Alistair catch his breath and swallow. Before Alistair could pull his cloak around him, his tunic wrinkled as something twitched near its hem.

Zev smiled. "Let me put on my tunic." He turned, dropping the cloth to bare a firm, rounded butt, with its inked designs and lean thighs, before pulling his tunic over his head, hiding a well-muscled back, also covered in tattoos.

"I've seen your back before," Alistair croaked, clearing his throat before continuing. A blush had spread across his face and down his throat. "I didn't know the art work continued."

Zevran turned. "Across my buttocks and down one thigh, as you saw. It's new. A dragon in honor of our costly victory. The head is in the front." He grinned. "I'll show you later."

"Right, well, let's order some food. The ale they brew is top notch and they have a decent wine too. We can continue catching up in my rooms." He turned and Zevran followed, wearing his cloak and a satisfied smirk.

A full meal and bottle of wine later, the two men lounged in front of the brazier. Even this far north, the nights became chilly in the mountains. Markham, a few thousand feet up in the Vinmarks, remained cooler than its coastal neighbors. Zevran shivered.

"I'll get a blanket," Alistair said. "You're still wearing clothes more suitable to Antiva than the mountains here or in Ferelden. I thought you just came from the South."

"I did, but it was a warm autumn and I was in the Coastlands."

"Ah, right. Gets warm there, if you're not in the hills."

He got up and went to his room. Zev followed and leaned against the door post, as Alistair rummaged through his coffer for an extra blanket.

Alistair stood, a wool blanket over his arm, and looked at Zevran in the dim light. Silhouetted against the brighter room behind him, Zevran remained still, leaning against the door frame, but staring at the empty bed. Ali took a deep breath, feeling the clench in his groin as he returned Zev's gaze, but not his grin. He felt the warmth as his cheeks flushed. Zevran saw the blush rise and said nothing. Alistair handed Zev the blanket, adding that it was warmer near the brazier.

For the next two days, Alistair got up early and did his forms, although he wore a loose tunic, much to Zevran's dismay. Zevran wore smalls and a worn cotton tunic which had shrunk over time so that it now hugged his lithe form. On the second morning, Alistair got a clear view of the dragon's head arching downward, mouth open, below Zev's navel, when Zevran stood and stretched. Zev did not miss Ali's quick turn or the blush that crept down his neck. Does the dragon cause him to blush, or his own salacious thoughts of what lies below the dragon's mouth? Alistair heard Zev chuckle and stopped his morning workout. He ate, dressed, and went to work.

Returning that evening, he found a meal already waiting, along with more Antivan brandy. As the two settled into their chairs in front of the brazier, cleaning and caring for their blades, Zevran suggested a new activity.

"Caro, you spend the day hunched over your sketching. Now you bend over your blade, sitting awkwardly in that chair. No wonder you feel stiff in the mornings." He walked behind Alistair and began massaging his shoulders. "So tight," Zev whispered, his lips close to Alistair's ear.

"Mmmmmh," Alistair let out a groan of relief. "That does feel good."

Zevran worked his thumbs across Alistair's shoulders, pressing hard, releasing the tension there, before he leaned over and spoke again.

"Turn around and face the back of the chair. Here's a bolster to lean against."

Alistair complied, letting his arms rest on the arms of the chair. Zev resumed his ministrations, working on Alistair's neck and then moving down to his back. He worked quietly, listening to Alistair's breathing and the soft purring sounds that came when he loosened a particularly knotted group of muscles. He worked his way along Alistair's spine and lower back, but stopped before his ministrations became too obviously sensual. Alistair's breath had quickened, and he suspected the same warmth that had spread through his own core suffused Alistair's.

"So much better, yes?" he asked as he stepped back.

After several deep breaths Alistair nodded. "Much. Are you sure you don't have any magic, in your fingers, Zevran?"

"They are strong and nimble, but not a drop of magic. Perhaps I should make a habit of this? Tomorrow a foot and leg massage? You stand all day. Or a scalp and chest massage?"

Zevran watched Alistair's profile, as he closed his eyes and exhaled. "I could agree to that," he whispered.

Later, after he had relieved his own desires, he heard Alistair's bed creaking followed by a groan.

The next morning, Zev accompanied Alistair to work and, after meeting with Master Olivia about some work, spent the day watching him, while supplying a running commentary on the artifacts, their possible uses, and appreciation of Alistair's physical attributes. In the evening, they ate supper in their room, cleaned up, and then settled near the brazier to talk and maintain weapons they rarely used, as they had so many times at Soldier's Peak.

"You know," Alistair said, laying down his short sword, and sipping brandy, "I will get used to your comments and stop blushing, just as I did before." He stood to gather more charcoal for the brazier.

"I know, caro. That will be a sad day. I shall have to find other ways to make you turn that lovely shade of rose." He shivered. "You know there are so many ways to keep warm. Perhaps if our supply of charcoal ran out, or I lost the scratchy blanket, or the temperature turned colder, we would have to explore our other options, yes?"

"Other…wwwhat?" Alistair stammered, and then sighed. "I do get what you mean…" He shook his head, as if to clear it and took a breath. "And I won't say no, Zev. I'm not sure what I feel…what it would be…comfort, caring, love…friendship?"

"Does it matter? I suspect it might be all those things, caro."

Brow furrowed, Alistair stood quietly for a time before speaking. "I just know you know me and no one else does. You know the people I knew, the places I lived, and, most important, what we both lost. It's a bond. I won't say no to making it a physical bond. Then again, I don't know if it's just for tonight? Just because you're here? Or if it's more."

"Don't think so much, caro. It will be what it will be. One night or a thousand." He stood and reached to cup Alistair's cheek. Alistair leaned into his hand and sighed.

"It's been so long since anyone touched me," he whispered. "You?"

"Since a lover touched me? Forever," said Zevran and watched comprehension steal across his friends face. "The Black Shadow had contracts, duties, but no love. So, perhaps not forever, but it's been two years, five months and several days. May I kiss you?"

Alistair let out the breath he had held. "Please."

Zevran's hand tightened at the back of his neck, pulling his head lower. Zev's lips were so soft. Alistair had not expected that. His own opened as Zev's tongue pressed gently between them. A quiet moan escaped his throat and his hands pressed Zev against him. He felt the elf's erection against his thigh and whimpered as Zevran's tongue entangled with his. They did not move apart until lack of breath forced them to.

Taking his hand, Zev pulled him towards the bedroom, continuing to press kisses against Alistair's neck and shoulder. Stopping, Alistair bent again and kissed the elf, stumbling backward towards the bed in response to Zevran's gentle push, but refusing to let go of Zev or end the kiss. As his calves felt the edge of the mattress, Zev pushed less gently and they fell. Instinctively, he let go of Zev to break his fall. More graceful, Zev let his lower body fall on top of Alistair, but straightened his arms to keep his head and chest above his friend's. He leaned down, kissed Alistair's neck, nibbled at his ear eliciting a groan, and worked his mouth down the open neck of Alistair's tunic. As his mouth found every tender spot on Alistair's neck and shoulder, he put one knee between Alistair's legs, nudging them farther apart, and raised himself, smiling as he heard Alistair whisper an objection and try to pull him closer. Zev chuckled softly. His nimble fingers untied the points holding Alistair's hose to his breeches, pulling the hose lower, and then ran those same fingers upward. Alistair's hips arched as Zev's thumbs circled at the edge of more sensitive spots, an invitation for Zevran to continue.

Continuing to massage Ali's thighs, Zevran moved his mouth to a still clothed nipple, and began to suck and nibble through the fabric of his tunic. Alistair thrashed, moaning, his hips arching up and finding nothing, as Zevran's fingers pressed and circled, but never touched the sac or the now dripping tip. He felt moisture spread on his thigh, understanding it was Zevran's, and then jerked as Zev ran his hands under the tunic, pushing it over his eyes. Alistair raised his arms, grasped the tunic's hem and pulled it over his head. Zev grinned at him as he massaged Alistair's torso.

"Shall I continue caro, or-"

"-Maker, yes, Zevran. I'll burst either way, but I'd rather-"

His sentence ended with Zevran's mouth on his dripping tip. Licking, sucking, his fingers proving as nimble as Lys' had been, Alistair lost himself in the sensations, forgetting any comparisons. It had been so long. With Zev it felt so safe, so right. He wanted, no, needed to feel the touch of another person. Zev brought him close so many times, until he couldn't restrain himself. He yelled as he arched and climaxed. He lay still for a time, calming his breathing and luxuriating in Zevran's warm body curled around his side, a leg thrown across his thigh and a knee press against his groin.

Smiling, Alistair whispered, "Your turn," letting his hand cover Zev's torso and gently massaging first one nipple and then the other.

Zev looked up at him and grinned at Alistair's hesitation. "Should I make suggestions?"

"I thought I'd copy you. Just not as adeptly." Or do what I like to you. "But, if there's something in particular?"

Zev laid back with a satisfied grin as Alistair lightly grazed fingers across a hairless chest and rolled a nipple.

"If something comes to mind…." Zevran hissed as Alistair nipped at his ear's point and pinched a nipple.

Alistair's smile widened at the elf's deep breath. Now kiss him, the voice in his head whispered and Alistair obeyed, letting one hand slip down towards Zevran's navel. The benefit of height and reach soon had the elf moaning through the kiss, as Alistair decided to fondle the base of an already full erection. Pulling away from the kiss, he began kissing, licking and biting his way down Zev's torso, realizing it wasn't so different from making love to Lys, until he reached the erection. Leaning back on his thighs, he continued to massage Zev's thighs with one hand, while venturing to grasp Zevran's member, much as he would his own.

Zev watched his lover hesitate when he reached his engorged member. He could see the blush on his cheeks, as Alistair moved his hand from a thigh to gently - too gently - stroke.

"It's not so different from your own, yes?"

Alistair looked up and met Zevran's gaze. "Um…too gentle?" He pressed more firmly, as the blush deepened.

Zev grinned and whimpered. "Better, caro. Surely you must-"

"-relieve myself?" Alistair croaked, increasing the pressure and speed. "Yeah." His breathing deepened as he watched Zev grasp the blanket and moan softly. As he did his hips arched against Alistair's hands. "Maker," Alistair whispered. This was not the same as making love to Lys. Or was it? Either way his tongue and mouth could lick and suck, even if the shape had changed. He lowered his lips to the moist tip of Zev's shaft and began to lick. Zev arched again pressing himself farther into Alistair's mouth. Alistair began to suck, tasting the salty flavor of the elf, hearing him moan, and feeling him writhe and arch as he sucked harder. Feeling his own erection again, he smiled to himself. Not so different after all.

Zev bucked again pressing farther into Alistair's mouth, making them both groan. Rhythm, Alistair thought, before his moves became almost automatic. He sucked, moved up and down, one hand gripping his own shaft as sharp contractions rushed through his own body, until Zevran shuddered and screamed. His own release followed. He slowly released Zevran from his mouth, reluctant to stop. He kissed his way up Zevran's torso until he reached his lips and let his body rest lightly against the elf's, as he leaned on his forearms. His hips slowly pressed and rotated against Zevran's as he kissed his lover.

Finally, Alistair rolled onto his back, Zev's head nestled into the crook of his shoulder. "Thank you," he said. "I didn't realize how much I needed to be cared for, to be touched." He pulled Zevran closer and they slept.

Alistair woke when the darkness began to fade and reached for Zevran, but found only rumpled sheets. Did I dream all that? Then, taking a deep breath, he grinned. Coffee! He swung his legs over the edge of the bed and rubbed his face. Opening his eyes again, he saw the bowl of water on the table by the door. Dipping a cloth, he found it still warm. Wiping his face first, he then cleaned the rest of his body and wondered what it would be like to make love in the hot bath. Well, at least what it would be like with Zev. He marveled at how familiar and yet how different his feelings and sensations could be.

"Now you bring out the coffee," he exclaimed, walking into the common area.

"You overslept, caro, I thought you might need it this morning. Besides, it's turned cold. We might need to return to the blankets."

He had planned to go to the scriptorium as usual today, but not now. The temperature had dropped overnight and a cuddle under warm blankets would not be unwelcome. Alistair lounged by the brazier, sipping the coffee and watching Zevran explore the common room. This trip, he had brought a few of his personal items from Kirkwall, where, he now knew, Zevran had stayed in his flat. Some figurines and several books lay on a shelf; his swords and a bow, quiver and arrows hung from hooks on the wall, and his armor hung on a stand. Another shelf held the crockery provided by the inn and a few nicer pieces, beautifully glazed, that belonged to him.

"Does it pass inspection?"

Zev laughed. "You make wherever you are your home, Alistair. A trick I never learned growing up with the Crows."

"I did have personal belongings - not many, but I had them. And I'm…organized."

"Ah…a good word. I would have said freakishly neat." His laughter faded as he walked over to the other chair by the brazier. "Ali, there's one other thing I need to…explain. I've put it off for too long." He leaned forward, staring into the coals, forearms resting on his thighs. "You know I think Kai is alive, because I know Lys gave her Ashes after the shriek attack on the roof. It is why I visited the Rasiae, thinking she might have taken refuge there. She did not." He looked up at Alistair. "I think they both survived…, but I could find no trace. Others agree. Erlina, Pippa, Morrigan…we combined our knowledge and it seemed to make sense." He held up one hand. "No, I do not mean Fergus. His beliefs come from anger, not rational thought."

"So, they just disappeared?" Alistair scoffed, but something in the back of his mind began whispering.

"No. We think we know where they went after the battle. Thomas Howe kidnapped them and took them to his father's Orphanage, where he bred elven slaves for Tevinter."

"The keep where he died? And his wife-" Alistair stopped. "You think Lys married him?"

"We think he forced her to marry him. After all, she couldn't escape from that place, and she believed you dead. She saw you kill the Archdemon." They both stared into the fire for a time, and then Zev spoke again. "It's what she would do, yes? Live, protect Kai, and try to save herself and the others in this keep?"

"Right. So, if she's alive she's had his child. Or she died in childbirth, which is why you find no trace." His tone puzzled Zev. He had been neither sad, hopeful, or excited.

Zevran shut his eyes. I expected more enthusiasm, but perhaps it will take time to believe. Now, do I tell him he has a child? Better to pull the bandage off and staunch the bleeding, then let it fester. "Not Thomas' child, Alistair."

"What? Whose?" Zevran watched the understanding creep across Alistair's face. "Mine?"

Zevran nodded. "Morrigan detected that Lys was newly pregnant before the battle, but said nothing after confirming her suspicion with Anders."

"Anders knew!" Alistair almost shouted, sitting up and splashing hot coffee on his leg. He winced.

"Ali, he and Liam saw no point in telling you, when we all believed her dead. Why hurt you further?" Zev handed him a cloth, soaked in cold water to clean his tunic and sooth the burn. He watched as Alistair let the coolness do its work, staring at the spot. Finally, he looked up. "Did you know?"

"No, only the mages."

"I suppose not knowing I'd also lost a child…." He rubbed his temples. "I believe you, but, it's like it's not real. I don't feel it. How could you and Erlina not find them if they lived?" Because, the voice whispered, they're not in Thedas.

"We know they escaped from the Orphanage on the ship that was to take them to Tevinter, left the elves in Higheverport, and sailed away. No one knows the name of the ship or where it went."

"Cumberland," Alistair said in a monotone. "Her cousin at House Haris is there, and her aunt, the one who kept Queen Elin safe during the Blight." His eyes narrowed. "Her mum or her aunt would know if she contacted House Haris. And Fergus. And Pippa! Either they know or she's hiding from all of them." He took a deep breath. "No wonder Fergus thinks she ran away."

"So, they're hiding in Nevarra City? Or the Haris Manor where they hid Queen Elin?"

"Maybe, but more likely somewhere farther away." Areth. She's in Areth with our child and Kai. He frowned. Although how would she get Kai there? He shook his head. If anyone could, she could. If I had gone with her when she asked before we left Higheverport I could get there…no matter. I didn't want to then and I have no idea how to go there now, short of revealing myself to Teyrna Eleanor or Pippa. He sighed and looked at Zev. Does he know about Areth? "Did your explorations of Castle Cousland reveal any secrets?"

The abrupt change in topics did not faze the elf. "You mean the passage beneath the old larder? Or the secret door, that I could never open, along its wall?"

"The secret door."

"If that had been in the family quarters…." Zevran stopped, realizing it probably was now. He recalled Pippa, laughing, chasing Thomas and Queen Elin through the newly built family wing of Castle Cousland during his visit. She and Anora had taken him on a tour, showing how Fergus had destroyed the old wing, replacing it with a courtyard surrounded by the kitchen, bake ovens, and storage rooms. Barracks for the soldiers or the guards of noble visitors stood outside the walls; excepting two or three personal guards for visitors, only Highever troops and guards lived within the castle grounds. He had had approved the new design when Queen Anora asked for his opinion, but chose not to provide the details to Alistair, saying only, "Fergus rebuilt the family wing over the old kitchen and larder giving access to the tunnel.

"The tunnel goes into the city as an alternate entrance for workers coming from the town, but…."

"But there's another passage there too, behind that secret door. A passage to the sea and a boat?" Zevran asked.

"More complicated," Alistair said. "Lys called it a portal. I never saw it, but she told me where it went. It goes to another world." He waited for Zevran's reaction.

This time Zev did pause before asking, "Another world?" Zev's skeptical look reminded him of his own disbelief when a little girl tried to explain Areth to him on top of a tower in Redcliff. Sometimes he still looked up to find the satellite circling his world.

"Yeah, like a star. In the sky. It's complicated. I'm not supposed to tell anyone, but…well, if Kai's there then you deserve to know. Lys wanted me to visit this other world when we stopped in Highever during the Blight, but I told her not until the Blight was over. It's not a place I'm anxious to visit."

"Maybe the portal is like one of the mirrors Merrill is building? And that Morrigan spoke of. An eluvian?"

"Perhaps. I don't know. I just know it goes…elsewhere. Another place."

"A place we cannot go. Or a place you do not wish to go?"

"Both."

"But Teyrna Eleanor can go there? And Fergus?"

"Yes. And Pippa." He held up both hands, palm outward facing. "I'm not ready to reveal myself. And I don't want to go there. I never wanted to go there. Too many strange ideas, strange devices Lys claims are science, not magic, and…well, except for the Blight cure pills…and the gambeson and sword…I just find it all creepy."

"Creepy?" Zev snorted. "So evocative."

"Discomforting, uncanny, uneasy….weird."

"So, although you have never been there, you do not like this place, yes?"

His comment elicited a glare. Zev sighed, surprised at his friend's lack of curiosity about this other place, Areth. Thinking for a moment, he realized Alistair had not been the one to question him about the Brecilian mission during the Blight, or talk about the wonders of the Deep Roads, Branka, Darkspawn, Archdemons, and Golems notwithstanding. Lys had a thirst for knowledge, a curiosity about the unknown that Alistair lacked. Worse he had closed his heart, thinking her dead and now could not open it to Lys and his child. Zev knew something about that too. Perhaps a little prodding would change his mind.

"Ali, who would Lys tell if she is in this other place?"

"Her mum…maybe Pippa, but definitely her mum. Teyrna Eleanor would keep Lys' secrets. Pippa might feel obligated to tell Anora or Fergus." He anticipated what Zev was about to say. "No. I can't. Not even Teyrna Eleanor. Or Dowager Teyrna; I suppose Anora's the teyrna now. At least, not yet."

"But-"

"- the Teyrna - Arlessa now of she married Loghain - is in Gwaren. That's a long voyage or a risky journey through Ferelden. And then we'd have to return to Highever to get to this other world. No. Still too many Orlesians, Crows, and wardens who might cause problems." He crossed his arms. "And did I mention I don't want to go there?"

"Alistair, I just made such a journey and had no difficulty. We would not be recognized. And your child is there."

"No. It doesn't feel right. And…a child? I've made my peace with Lys' death and now, while I believe you, I don't feel that it's real." He stood and reached out, tracing the curving lines of Zev's tattoo along his cheek and down his neck. Zev whimpered, closing his eyes and leaning his head back, as Ali's other hand untied the laces on his tunic and reached inside to caress a nipple. "Let's not speculate about Lys. We don't know she's alive and if she is, she's somewhere we can't go, and Kai is probably with her. We're here, together. I can touch you. You're real. Our feelings are real. I want you to touch me. This feeling, between us, this feels right." He sighed. "I'm tired of being alone. Aren't you?"

A/N: Thanks to my wonderful betas Kira Tamarion and Elyssa Cousland, whose efforts make this a better story. Any errors are mine. Appreciate all who favorited, followed, and gave kudos. I hope you continue to read and enjoy.