The knob turned and Levi's eyes widened in disbelief and he swallowed quickly. Before him stood a tan young man with ocean eyes.
Holy shit Levi thought, pulse quickening. He quickly felt the need to readjust himself all over again, his erection was rubbing against his clothing begging to be released.
And then he suddenly needed to think of something completely mundane or else he'll end up needing a new pair of pants as precum began to leak, the moisture creating spot on his pants. Levi silently thanked the gods he was wearing black that night.
Wearing a painfully tight hunter green Top Gun pilot outfit, the visitor stepped into the room and closed the door behind him.
Levi's eyes wondered hungrily over the stranger's body, every muscle was defined through the material, hugging his ass wonderfully and showing off his ripped torso through the unbuttoned garment.
Pleased at Levi's evaluation, the man was silently chuckling back. He walked over to Levi and placed a hand on his chest and captured his free hand in his own. Intertwining their hands instinctively together, he leaned in and dragged his tongue across Levi's neck nipping lightly.
Levi felt strong hands ghost over his body and pressure as the brunette began to palm his growing erection. Feeling the wonderful friction against him, he was spun around until his back was flushed against the stranger. He dropped his head to the side and closed his eyes briefly as he willed his body to stay stiff. Seeing an open opportunity of the exposed neck, the pilot trailed kisses up Levi's neck to his ear, only to repeat the process with his hot tongue, blowing slightly on the wet surface making Levi whimper silently in his mind. He met the shell of Levi's ear and tugged on the lobe gently, testing the reaction. Levi couldn't allow himself to enjoy this. How was it possible to feel so good against someone you just met? His body was burning up with forgotten desires and an intense longing from his body to his soul.
Levi felt an overpowering need for the pilot to bend him backwards and leave him a withering mess on the floor crying out for any deity that would hear him. All these feelings and emotions were strangling his head, his heart, his being. His stomach began to burst as it contained an overwhelmingly amount of excitement and the liquid from the alcohol was sloshing violently around in his stomach. The contents were turning and spinning within itself as if he were on an abandon carnival ride with no end in sight. He felt he would vomit on himself at any moment.
Levi pressed his lips together to silence his inner turmoil and the moan that threatened to escape his soul.
The brunet could sense the tension in Levi, and he spun him back around to face him, only to have the man rest his forehead against Levi's, searching his eyes.
It was as if he could see how conflicted Levi was, did he know Levi hadn't been with a man in years? That it was his only wish to belong to someone so fully and intimately? Closing his eyes, Levi felt embarrassed, shame, and anger well up inside of him. His insecurities were in full swing, wreaking havoc against his mind and he was fucking this moment up.
Here was his opportunity! A hot young male served up to him with a bow, and Levi was wracked with fear. Fear of the unknown, of his desire, of the fact he craved intimacy with this man whom he only spent five minutes with.
Scratch that. Six minutes.
The pilot moved his hands to either side of Levi's face, reaching out to guide his hand gently through his raven hair and cupped his cheek in a loving embrace. The ocean eyes held mischief but something more laid beyond the surface.
Smiling encouragingly, the man licked Levi's lips but to no avail, Levi kept them tightly shut.
Stepping back the man placed a chaste kiss to Levi's hand and quietly sighed. "If I'm not to your liking…"
"No!" The words flew from Levi's mouth so forcefully it startled them both.
The pilot's eyes stilled and red tinted his tan checks as he nodded. Bowing slightly, he retreated towards the door. "Someone will attend to you shortly."
Oh, fucking shit! Levi thought moving towards the brunet and successfully passing him, flinging himself on the door before the brunet opened it. Levi felt absolutely fucking stupid as the young man blinked and eyed him suspiciously.
Fixing his gaze to anything but the man, Levi nervously licked his lips. Inhaling deeply, he took his chance. "I meant 'no', as in don't leave. I wasn't excepting you, looking so fucking perfect and I especially wasn't expecting a fucking male..." Levi willed himself to stop but the flood gates were opened, and alcohol was truly a liberating lover. He met the pilot's confused gaze, "I'm gay, but I've… it's been…I haven't done this in a long fucking time, ok? But I want to, with you."
Realization dawned on the brunet's features as his eyebrows shot up in surprise. Levi's back hit the door as the man pushed his body deliciously into Levi's and cupped his head once again. Shifting his leg to Levi's cock, he rocked his leg back and forth causing Levi to whimper. He licked Levi's lips and this time, Levi opened them. Tilting his head back, Levi groaned into the man's mouth as the pilot's tongue danced with his own. Their tongues met in the middle, and Levi felt a surge of determination as he began to suck on the younger man's tongue as own hand moved to the other's erection against the costume. He began to stroke the other in rhythm to the sucking, feeling his courage grow by the second.
Levi felt salvia drip down his chin, whose ever it belong to Levi didn't care as he felt pride at their obvious arousal for one another. The pilot broke contact first and licked the evidence away tenderly. Leaning down, he lifted Levi bridal style and moved him onto the bed. Kissing him sweetly, he stared into Levi's eyes.
"You have choices. You'll feel pleasure and pain. You'll say 'stop' and 'no' but you may say them because your overwhelmed and embarrassed, and not because you want to actually stop. If you feel at any time you do, and really honest to God want to stop, I will. But give me a word – a safe word to know you want me to stop."
Levi clutched the sheets beneath him tightly feeling amazed and embarrassed at how much the stranger wanted him to feel comfortable in this moment. The word cherished flashed in his mind, but Levi shook his head banishing the thought.
"I don't, um…" Levi looked about the room, searching for something to spark his memory to a useless word. "…Clean."
The young man tilted his head in confusion, feeling he may have misheard. "Clean?"
Levi felt his cheeks burn at the idiotic word that fell from his lips. But what the hell? Clearing his throat and avoiding the ocean eyes he clarified. "Mr. Clean."
The bright smile that broke out on the other was so fucking beautiful Levi felt the need to squint slightly and turn away. If he were younger, and maybe not so full of pride he would have buried his face in his hands or thrown himself onto the bed like some fucking Disney Princess.
But Levi wasn't any of those things.
Levi was silent, cold, and calculating. He detested showing emotion, didn't care to be part of a group, often enjoying his own solitude instead. Some people were too full of…life? Too full of light, and if you got too close, you'll become attached. That's where the true problem was. If you become too attached, you get used to other people in your life and then when they're gone, your world becomes dark again. Too still. The silence and emptiness they leave behind is defining. It forces you into a slow madness and you can't think of anything else but them.
And then slowly, ever so slowly, you began to resent them and the memory they left you behind with. The fact they entered your life – when you were perfectly fine, by the way – and mess it all up with their presence, their words, their mere existence. And just like that, in a blink of an eye they're gone. Mother fucking gone. And your left alone with all the pieces. Left to pick them up from the ground, scrambling to collect ever last broken shard until you're in a corner willing the pieces to become whole again.
And they won't.
Because they can't.
And you're sitting there, damaged and alone, wondering… Why didn't they just leave you alone in the first place?
"Hey there, where did you go?" The young man whispered devotedly, leaning his forehead against Levi's. He reached up and caressed Levi's face, gently brushing a tear away.
Levi closed his eyes and allowed himself to be vulnerable in this time, in this place, with this stranger. He felt raw, dirty, exposed, and so unbelievably relieved.
Licking his lips nervously, he met the other's gaze. "I uh…nowhere. I'm here. With you."
"We don't have to do anything. We can just lay here. I can hold you."
Levi shook his head, never once breaking contact with the other. Swallowing thickly, he prayed his voice would remain steady. "I want this. I think I want and need this more than I ever thought I did. Or, ever allowed myself to think I did. I'm rambling, I know that doesn't make sense."
Smiling softly, the pilot held Levi's hands and pressed soft circles into his skin, bringing a calm to the raven. "It makes sense. More than I could ever tell you."
The two stayed that way for what seemed like hours, never once breaking contact form their present embrace; foreheads touching, the brunet holding Levi's hand, and Levi silently crying.