Begin Prompt in 3, 2, 1…

A Typical Night at Freddy's

Prompt: I kicked Balloon Boy's ass in the parking lot at 4am.

"It wasn't my fault. You know whose fault it is? Whoever's supposed to be keeping these lights on, because the power crashed two hours before I was supposed to walk out of there. I thought the whole point of limiting the lights was, so I didn't have to watch a power bar all night, but the whole thing still blacked out. I was sitting there in an office with a flashlight and nothing else."

He made an exaggerated gesture back towards the door.

"And what do I hear less than twenty seconds after the power dies, but Foxy running down the hallway like the gates of hell were opening behind him. He flies in so fast that he leaves skid marks on the floor. If I didn't blind him with the flashlight, I'd be sitting here with his teeth in my head. We'd be looking at the Bite of 95′ right now!... No offense."

Probably not the best example considering his audience. Still he continued.

"So, Foxy's standing there twitching in the corner and I hear the spawns of hell clunking down the hall behind him, so I realize I have to get out of there. So, I get out into the hall and dive into the party room and watch as the rest of the animatronics stumble into the room, stop in front of the desk, and just stare. Like they can't believe I'm not there, or they were staring at Foxy."

He then gestured again in the other direction, off towards the back of the main dining room.

"So, I finally get myself back towards the front door and suddenly that Jack-in-the-Box by the front door opens its box, springs halfway across the room- this thing launched itself over tables- and gets itself on me. Now that Phone Guy warned me about this thing, but I don't remember anytime when he said, "It'll wrap itself around you like a freaking anaconda and never let go." I carried that thing around like a sack of sand!"

He raised a finger, punctuating the story, pausing to take a breath.

"Oh, ho, but that wasn't the end! Because the power was out, so the electronic locks on the front door weren't working. You'd think this would mean that the doors would unlock, but they didn't, so I was stuck standing there, looking like an idiot, when I hear Foxy get his second wind and start thundering down the hallway. I'm going to get hooked if I don't get out, so me and my sack of sand get into the bathroom since I know the window in there has been stuck open for the last couple of weeks."

The listeners exchanged a confused look, as though they didn't know about the window in the bathroom. Though this was probably because the window was so small, and because everyone mutually tried to avoid the bathrooms.

"I lose the Puppet, finally, because we can't squeeze through together. I land on the dumpster- thankfully it was closed, because God forbid we leave the dumpster open, who cares about a window into the restaurant. The Puppet was trying to climb out behind me, by the way, but I couldn't worry about that, because who do I see when I look up but Freddy Fazbear coming around from the front. Because he was able to get the front door opened."

The exchanged look this time was different. One looked alarmed while the other looked as stoic as usual. Apparently neither of them was aware that the animatronics could just walk themselves out the front door. The story wasn't over either.

"At this point, I break into a mad dash to get to my car. But what's blocking my door when I get there? What could've possibly made it all the way out there just to make my life more difficult? That's right, Balloon Boy! He was laughing at me too, the little gremlin, and I didn't have time to fool around. Let me remind you, Freddy was already staggering over to me, the Puppet was halfway out the window, and I knew Foxy was on his way."

He paused for effect and looked between his two listeners.

"So, yes, I kicked Balloon Boy over," Mike confessed. "But let me tell you this: if I didn't have a bear barreling down at me, I would've punted that little brat halfway across the parking lot."

There was a long moment of silence in the office.

"Alright, I think that's all we needed to hear," Henry said as he began to rub at his eyes and pinch the bridge of his nose. Just the story alone was enough to render him entirely exhausted.

"Am I fired?" Mike casually asked. After all, it wouldn't be the first time. To his surprise, a pink slip didn't immediately follow.

"No, just... Go home and get some sleep," Henry muttered as he waved him out. "Take the weekend off and we'll see you on Monday."

Without another word, Mike stood from his seat and headed out the office door, closing it behind him and immediately leaving the restaurant. The two owners were silent for a long time.

"I can't believe it," William finally said.

"That the animatronics can let themselves out, the power's still busted, or that the restroom window's been stuck open for who knows how long?" Henry asked dryly. His voice was muffled by his hand.

"That he decapitated Balloon Boy with a single kick," the other answered. He almost sounded impressed by it. "I'd give him a raise for that alone, but I'm going to be the one putting the damn thing back together."

"How many times have they let themselves out?" Henry asked tiredly. Then he perked in growing horror. "You don't think that's why the camera out front keeps getting busted, do you?"

"I don't even want to think about it," William briskly replied. Probably because he was going to be fixing that too.

"Alright..." Henry agreed. "...You want to think about which of us is going to get stuck spending our afternoon working in the restroom, trying to get that window closed?"

"I don't want to think about that either."