Disclaimer: I neither own the intellectual property of the InuYasha universe, nor the rights to any of the affiliated merchandise or creative works thereof, nor do I profit from this work produced here.

Summary: "When Shippo accidentally transforms, it's up to Inuyasha to help him face the scariest demons of all: the ones inside himself."

Warnings: blood, cursing, a little joke about gingers. ;)

犬夜叉

"Shippo! Shippo, dammit, come back here!"

The boy glanced over his shoulder, panting. The trees around him were a blur of shadow and green, branches whisking around him as he dodged with ease. He knew he wasn't as fast as Inuyasha, but he could hide if he got far enough away; if he could just outrun him for a little longer–

"WAH!"

He hit the ground before he even knew he'd tripped, momentum carrying him forward in a cloud of dust. Shippo rolled over on his back, panicking, and momentarily saw a red flash streak down above him, before Inuyasha landed just overtop of him, holding him down.

"Let me go, Inuyasha! I'll fight you! I'll– I'll–"

"Dammit, kid, calm down!" Two hands lifted him up by his vest and smacked him back down into the ground again– not enough to hurt him, but enough to startle him out of his rambling. Shippo stared up at the golden eyes above him and found that Inuyasha looked… relieved.

Not angry. He's… not angry with me?

"You alright now?" the hanyou asked. "Or are you gonna run again?"

Shippo hesitated, and then gave a little shake of his head.

"Good." The white-haired man released him, and Shippo sat up. He hissed when his paw moved and looked down to find that he'd twisted it when he'd tripped on the root.

Inuyasha had noticed, too. "Damn. That's not good."

"It's fine," the kitsune mumbled, gently touching his fingers to the twisted joint with a wince. A pale turquoise light glowed brightly around his fingers, and when he pulled away his paw was back to normal, although he felt a little dizzy from the amount of power it had cost him.

The hanyou had the decency to look mildly impressed. "Your fox-magic is getting better." Shippo nodded, not meeting his eyes.

For a long moment, the two sat in silence. The kitsune could feel his cheeks and eyes burning; he was keenly aware of how much blood was on his kosode and vest, even on his hakama… he wanted to go crawl in a hole and die.

At last he heard Inuyasha draw a breath. "Shippo–"

"I'm not going back," the kitsune interrupted "I'm not, Inuyasha. I can't, don't you see?"

"Shippo, that's not–"

"Did they see me?" he demanded. "Did Kagome see me? Like- like that?"

Inuyasha hesitated. I can't tell him. It'll break his heart.

"And don't lie to me." Shippo at last managed a brief glimpse at the half-demon out of the corner of his eyes. "I'll know."

Poor kid. Inuyasha sighed. "Yeah, Shippo. We all did."

Shippo nodded again, still staring off at nothing. He swallowed, and then blinked hard and rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand. He was getting so big, Inuyasha noticed; he'd grown taller, and his paws and hands were proportional to the rest of him now. He looked like any other ten-year-old boy, aside from the fox-paws and tail– and his elfin ears, of course. "I can't go back," the kit whispered. "They'll hate me. And Kagome will hate me most of all!" He buried his face in his arms and at last started to cry.

"That's not true," Inuyasha vowed, setting a hand on his shoulder, but Shippo shrugged it off. "Hell, Shippo, Kagome's seen me kill other humans and she's still here, ain't she? Besides, you took out a threat, not an innocent!"

"So what!" the kit snarled, whipping his head around to glare at him. Tears ran down his cheeks. "Maybe it was a threat this time, but next time–!" He choked, the idea too terrible to even think about, and covered his face again. "B'sides, it's different," he mumbled, words half-muffled by the bloodied sleeves of his turquoise kosode. "You're just a half-demon."

"And what's that got to do with it?"

"Everything!" He scrambled to his feet, glaring fiercely down at the half-demon beside him. "Everyone knows half-demons can't control themselves; it's not your fault! But demons– only evil demons lose control of their youki!" He clenched his fist, looking as if he were gritting his teeth in an effort to stop his tears. "Th-that's what P-Papa told me. Th-that's what makes us d-different– made me different!"

"Shippo–"

"A-and it's better if I l-leave now, or n-next time– next time, it m-might be one of you!"

"I'm not gonna let that happen," the hanyou growled, but Shippo shook his head.

"You c-can't control me forever, Inuyasha. I'm getting s-s-stronger every day, and you know it! And I c-can't control it! I've tried, I've tried but I can't!" He blinked hard and wiped away the tears rolling down his cheeks. "That's why I have to leave! If I'm gonna turn b-b-bad, I don't wanna be around anyone I care about!"

He broke down again, and only fought a little when Inuyasha stood and hugged him tightly. "It's okay," the half-demon muttered gruffly. "It's alright."

"I'm s-sorry. Tell them I'm sorry!"

"You've got nothin' to apologize for. It wasn't your fault. In fact, if it's anyone's, it's mine."

Shippo sniffled and drew back a little. "W-what?"

"I should've realized this was gonna happen. If I hadn't been so wrapped up in me an' Kagome getting' married, I would've realized…" The hanyou sighed and guided the boy over to a fallen log. "Sit," he ordered, pointing at it.

Shippo sat.

"Now the first thing you gotta realize," Inuyasha said firmly, sitting down beside him, "Is that this wasn't your fault."

"B-but–"

"You can't be expected to control your youki the way other demons can. You said 'everyone knows half-demons can't control themselves,' you know why that is?" Shippo sniffled again and shook his head. "It's because we're sorta like you; lotsa power, no idea how to handle it."

"I-I don't understand…"

"Most demons gain their power as they grow over hundreds of years," Inuyasha explained. "They learn to control it without even realizing they're doing it. You and me, we're at a disadvantage." He looked down to his clawed hands thoughtfully and continued, "We only get a couple of years to learn how to get used to this. That's why half-demons tend to 'snap,' y'know? Only most of 'em aren't as strong as I am, so they don't do as much damage." He looked over at the kit. "You're no different, Shippo, 'cept you're a full-blooded demon. That makes it even harder on you. But it ain't your fault, alright? The demons your dad was talkin' about, those are the ones who choose to lose control. Not you."

Shippo's face had filled with a tentative hope. "So… so I'm not… going 'bad?'"

"'Course you're not. Nobody becomes evil unless they wanna. Y'understand me?"

The kitsune thought about it for a moment, and then nodded. "In… Inuyasha?" he stammered, uncertain whether to ask. "Um…"

"Spit it out, kid."

The boy bit his lip. "Did, um, did you ever transform? Back before we knew you, I mean, before you had the Tesusaiga…"

The hanyou nodded truthfully. "Yeah. 'Course, back then I was just a kid– not as much power, y'know? So I was able to keep my mind. Didn't even realize they were transformations then, since I couldn't see myself… I just knew I wanted to live, and that meant the thing in front of me had to die." Shippo opened his mouth, and then closed it again, and the hanyou sighed. "And yeah, since you don't wanna ask, I killed a few humans. I didn't wanna do it, but… well, they were coming after me. I didn't have a choice, it was self-defense."

"So… what do I do?"

Inuyasha drew a breath in through his nose, thinking. "The second thing you've gotta realize, Shippo, is… just because it's not your fault, doesn't mean it's not dangerous. Your will to live overpowers your rational mind, you stop being able to make good decisions– any decisions, really. You completely lose your sense of self." He looked over at the kit and said bluntly: "You've gotta do what you can to make sure it doesn't happen."

"Anything," the fox-demon vowed. "Just tell me!"

"Well, first things first: you've got to try to stay in this form as much as you can." Shippo looked down at his very human hands, surprised, and the hanyou explained: "It's your natural form, and your weakest, because it draws so much of your youki. That'll help, but it's not enough; you need a token, something to draw on your power and pull it into something more manageable." He stood up and offered the kit a hand. "C'mon. We've got to get going."

"Get going? Where?"

"Where else? Totousai's." He grinned a little as he helped the boy to his feet. "You're a little young, but hey, you've always had to act older than your age. I think it's about time we got you a proper sword."

犬夜叉

"Alright, kid, hold up!"

Shippo skidded to a stop to find himself on the far edge of a clearing; the sun was setting overhead, turning the sky into beautiful watercolor of pinks and oranges, edging purple on the far side. He glanced back over his shoulder to find that Inuyasha had stopped on the other side of the clearing, looking a little out of breath. "Damn. You've got a lot of stamina, kid."

Shippo smiled despite himself; he'd noticed that the half-demon had fallen behind a few paces over the course of the last hour. "You just haven't had anyone to really push you," he replied as he walked back, far more generously than he (or any child of his age) usually would have, but he was feeling rather indebted to the hanyou at the moment, all things considered. Besides, he was feeling the strain too.

Inuyasha snorted and ruffled his carrot-top hair. "Don't bullshit me kid, I know when I've been beat." The boy glowed under his praise, and the half-demon had to hide a smirk. "C'mon, let's make camp. You light the fire, I'll catch us some food."

Soon enough two scaled and filleted fish were cooking over the open fire. Shippo stared at them for a while, not speaking. Inuyasha was a little worried about him, but decided not to show it; he remembered being the boy's age– well, relatively speaking– and figured that after crying into his suikan earlier that day, Shippo had no desire to be feel more vulnerable than he already did. So he waited patiently, in the quiet comfortable companionship of men. No talking was needed, at least until Shippo finally broke the silence.

"Hey, Inuyasha?" The hanyou looked over to see the kitsune looking at the fish, his head tilted and brows furrowed. "Why do some demons eat their meat raw? Only father always cooked ours, and so did everyone in our village, so…"

"I know what you mean." Inuyasha sat up a little straighter, stretching. "Bad habit, I guess, passed down for generations. I know Sesshomaru does, and so do the rest of the dog clan."

"So why don't you?"

"Because I was raised by a human, remember? I won't say I never have, but my ma taught me better'n that and I've always tried to live by it." He shrugged. "Puts you in a bad frame of mind. You get used to eating your food still warm and bloody, starts seeming like less of a big deal to eat it live 'n kicking. And once you stop caring about the pain of animals, well– trust me, Shippo, I've seen what happen to demons like that, it's not a road you wanna go down."

"Huh. Is that why Sesshomaru-sama can, y'know…"

"Not care when he kills people?" Inuyasha shrugged again. "It's probably part of it. He's getting better at that, though… Rin's really kicked his conscience back into working order."

"Kind of like Kagome did yours?" Shippo teased. Inuyasha chuckled.

"Kinda like that, yeah." He sniffed the air. "Food should be done."

"So how're things going between you, anyway?" Shippo inquired, taking his stick of roast fish off the fire and blowing on it to cool it down. "How's being married?"

"Best thing in the bloody world, kid."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." The hanyou sighed, almost dreamily, and Shippo had to bite back a snicker. "Y'get up in the morning to get fire going for her, and sometimes you find she's already done it. You get home at night and sometimes she's made your favorite food, just because she wants to see you smile. You see something in the market and you know it's meant for her, but somehow she's even happier you thought of her than you'd hoped she would be."

"Sounds incredible."

"Yeah. And you wanna know the best part?"

"What?"

Inuyasha smiled and shook his head, looking up at the sky. "Here's the thing: even when it's not incredible, you're still together." He laughed a little, almost wistfully. "Y'know a month ago or so, we had this huge fight. Started out with a little misunderstanding, we both got mad, said thing we didn't mean… y'know how it goes." Shippo nodded. "I got in a huff and left. An hour or two of sitting on my own out there in the cold got me thinking… anyway, it turned out Kagome was right the whole time. I went back expecting her to tell me to sleep outside for the night, and you know what happened?"

"What?"

"She gave me my dinner, kissed me on the cheek and let me sleep right beside her. Still mad as hell, mind, and yet– she still loved me." He shook his head, apparently still amazed, and then looked down at the kitsune and continued: "And here's the thing, Shippo: I'd do exactly the same thing for her. That's what marriage is. Loving each other, no matter what."

"No matter what?"

"No matter what," Inuyasha confirmed. "I never had that, before I met Kagome. Someone who's always gonna be there for you, care about you, tell you off when you need it– always and forever. And that's what we're all really looking for, isn't it? Someone who'll still love you when you mess up, someone you still choose to love when they mess up. That's what we all really want, deep down." He fell quiet, looking at the fire, but still smiling.

Shippo smirked and took a bite of his fish. "Who knew you could be the sensitive type?"

"Agh, that girl does somethin' to me, kid… turns me into a bloody poet, I swear…" The kitsune laughed, and the hanyou chuckled with him. "I hope you find that for yourself someday, Shippo. Real, unconditional love: friends, family, your wife, your kids– wherever it is, make sure you find it. That's what makes life worth living."

"I'll try," Shippo vowed.

Inuyasha grinned at him, and then they fell back into a companionable silence. I guess Inuyasha's right, the boy mused. That's what we all really want: love, no matter what. He glanced up at the hanyou, recalling what had happened earlier that day, and his friend's promise that the others wouldn't hate him, that he didn't hate him. Shippo was sure he'd looked like a monster… but his friend still cared about him, enough to take him all this way. Maybe… maybe I've found that, too.

犬夜叉

"Up, kid. We've got a long ways to go today."

Shippo wrinkled his nose, muttered something, and opened his eyes. Inuyasha was crouched on the branch he'd been sleeping in, looking at him expectantly. Shippo yawned and rubbed his eyes, looking around. The birds were chirping and the sky was just turning from pink to blue.

"Mm. How far are we from Totousai's?"

"Little less than two days' run. We should be there by tomorrow evening." The hanyou nodded to the burnt-out campfire below. "C'mon, let's cover our tracks and get a move on."

They buried the fire and then continued on their way, running long into the day until about noon. They stopped to eat from a wild pear tree Inuyasha spotted, and then headed on their way again.

It was around two in the afternoon and mid-run when something caught Shippo's attention; his nose twitched as he absent-mindedly leapt over a small river and called over to Inuyasha, "Hey, you smell that?"

"Yeah. He must be just ahead of us." He sniffed the air and then called, "Left!"

Shippo obeyed immediately; it was common courtesy among all demons for the downwind runner to move out of the way of the demon upwind, who was less likely to sense them first. To not do so was a direct insult– not to mention a good way to get yourself into an unnecessary fight or head-on collision. "Should we stop and say hello?"

"Keh. I don't think he'll let us past if we don't!"

Within a few seconds the object of their conversation came into view; Shippo slowed his pace to a manageable one and then planted his foot hard into the earth, transferring most of his energy upwards. He bounded up against the blue sky and then hurtled downwards again, landing in a crouch in an empty clearing. A moment later, he heard Inuyasha land behind him.

They only had to wait for a second; far more nimbly than either of them, a tall, white-haired demon touched down to earth. Shippo bowed quickly, and deeply. "Lord Sesshomaru."

"Master fox." Sesshomaru-sama bowed in return, though much shallower, and then turned to his brother. "Inuyasha."

"Hey, Sesshomaru. On your way to the village?"

"How dare you speak to Lord Sesshomaru with such familiarity!" Everyone involve repressed a sigh as the small green imp who served as Sesshomaru's toady– ahem, advisor– disembarked from the demon lord's fluffy tail and stalked forward, waving his Staff of Two Heads in offense. "Half-brother or no, he is still your lord and you will address him as such!"

"Jaken." The imp started and turned, shaking.

"Yes, m'lord?"

"Do not speak to my half-brother thus again."

Jaken gasped and gulped, as if he hadn't heard this order a hundred times over. "Y-yes, m'lord!"

Now that that's over with… Sesshomaru turned to his brother inclined his head. "Yes. I told Rin I would return tomorrow."

"Yeah, I remember." Inuyasha grinned, crossing his arms. "Y'know, I don't think Rin would mind having a couple of siblings. Y'ever think about gettin' yourself hitched?"

Jaken gasped and looked ready to faint; even Shippo paled. The brothers had gradually been getting on better terms over the last three years, but he was pretty sure Inuyasha had just crossed a line. He looked nervously between the demon lord and the hanyou, expecting a fight to break out at any moment.

But instead, a very, very slight smirk twitched Sesshomaru's mouth, prompting Shippo's own to fall open. He's amused? I thought Inuyasha was a dead man for sure!

"Rin is enough family for me, Inuyasha. And she does make up for having such a dreadful bore for a brother."

Inuyasha actually laughed. "Alright, alright. I'm just sayin', nothin' beats a happy home and a happy wife."

Sesshomaru raised an eyebrow. "Yes, well, I'm afraid between ensuring the prosperity of my lands and my studies in preparation for the ascent to our father's throne, I don't have time for the comforts afforded to a farmer."

"Oho! Well, I guess it's hard to find yourself a girl when your mother keeps giving you homework and sending you outside to play." Both of them were smirking by now, and Shippo wasn't sure to burst out laughing or be terrified. It was always so hard to tell with these two.

Thankfully, Inuyasha stepped aside, allowing the demon lord access to the swiftest path to the village– a merely symbolic gesture, but one that cut the tension down by at least half. "Rin will be happy to see you, anyway. Especially if you've brought her another gift."

"A new pin for her hair."

"Mm. Nice."

"And yourself? By your course, you seem to be heading to Totousai's forge." His amber eyes flicked downwards. "But the Tesusaiga seems to be in perfect working order. Or is our father's sword no longer good enough for you?"

"Oh, don't worry, the Tesusaiga's been serving me juuust fine." Inuyasha smirked again and patted the hilt of the sword– an action which, five years ago, probably would have incited a fight, but which now only caused Sessshomaru to shrug.

"Do as you will. But then, if the sword has not been causing you problems…" His eyes widened a fraction, and came to settle on Shippo. The kitsune instinctively took a step back and dropped his eyes. He was suddenly very aware of the fact that his kosode, though washed, still smelled faintly of fresh blood to the discerning nose. Humiliation swept through him, and he felt a hot blush color his cheeks.

"I see." He looked up to find that Sesshomaru's face had softened slightly. "Well then, I wish you luck on your travels, Inuyasha." He began forward and glanced down. "Jaken. We're leaving."

"O-oh! Yes, m'lord!" Jaken immediately scuttled back over to the mokomoko and hopped on. With a slight crouch and push off against the earth, Sesshomaru vanished into the trees.

Inuyasha glanced over to Shippo, whose eyes were fixed once again on the dirt. He sighed. "Damn. I'm sorry, kid; I tried to be discreet…"

"It's alright. Not your fault," the kitsune mumbled. Then, a horrible idea occurred to him, and he paled, looking up.

Inuyasha stepped forward, concerned. "Kid? What is it?"

"Oh, no. No, no…" He turned to the hanyou, green eyes wide with fright. "She didn't– did she?"

"She?"

Shippo's mouth worked noiselessly for a moment before he managed to stammer: "R-Rin. Did she… see me?"

Inuyasha's face, startled and then guilty, spelled it all. Shippo closed his eyes in horror and said faintly, "No…"

Inuyasha looked down at the kitsune sadly. He knew that the boy and Sesshomaru's girl were the best of friends; Rin, now thirteen, was quickly becoming a powerful young trainee priestess in her own right, and it was no secret to anyone but her that the young demon had a bit of a puppy-love crush on her, not that Shippo would ever admit it. "Shippo…"

"She saw me? She saw me kill that bear-demon with my own claws? And… and my face…" He raised a few fingers to rub the markings that had appeared at his transformation and refused to disappear: a small turquoise symbol, like a tiny blaze of fire, upon his brow under his reddish mop, and two turquoise stripes on his cheekbones. "Inuyasha, tell me she didn't see…"

Oh boy. "Shippo, she… she did more than see," the half-demon said hesitantly, stepping forward and kneeling down to meet his eyes. Shippo looked ready to cry. "She, um… she was the one who stopped you."

Shippo went even paler, dropping his hand to his shoulder. When he'd awoken alone in Kaede's hut, his bloodied kosode and vest set beside him and his shoulder bandaged, he hadn't known what caused the injury, but now he realized that the piercing wound in his shoulder was without a doubt made by an arrow. "…Rin shot me?" he whispered. Inuyasha nodded. The boy, stunned, turned and walked a few paces away.

"She was real worried about you," the half-demon said carefully. "Almost wouldn't leave your side, when you were unconscious. Y'really scared the daylights out of her when you disappeared." The kitsune didn't reply. "Shippo?"

"Get me to Totousai's," the boy said weakly, before turning to face him; his face was full of panic– and resolve. "As quickly as we can. I don't care if I have to run all night, just please, let's hurry!"

Inuyasha felt his chest constrict, and he nodded. "Yeah. 'Course, kid. Let's go."

Shippo nodded, mouth tight. Together, they dashed off into the undergrowth.

犬夜叉

In the end, they didn't run all night; about an hour or two after the moon rose, the kid himself collapsed. Inuyasha was surprised; he'd been about to insist on a stop himself, his own chest burning with exhaustion, but Shippo hadn't uttered a single complaint. When he walked forward and helped the kid to his feet, however, Inuyasha realized just how much the boy had been pushing himself; Shippo was breathing hard, and his hands were shaking as he tried to lift himself off the ground.

Neither spoke a single word through the course of their meager supper of cooked fish, and Shippo was uncharacteristically quiet as they both settled themselves into their respective trees for the night. All in all, a little more than ten hours passed in utter silence between them, and it had the half-demon worried. Silence was not a word that was often used with relation to Shippo.

The night was pleasantly cool, with a bright full moon, and it was relatively easy for him to drift into the usual half-sleep he maintained when he was out in insecure terrain. Memories floated through his mind, mostly about Kagome; a few made-up nonsensical conversations, the lulling tone of her voice pulling him deeper and deeper into his doze…

…"KAGOME! GET DOWN!"

"I can still hit him!"

"Dammit, no you can't! AUGH!" He heard his head crack against the ground the instant before pain blinded his vision.

When he came to, he found he must have been out for at least a few minutes, because Miroku was also unconscious just a few feet away, Sango's gas mask over his mouth, and a green haze had filled the air. One breath taught him better than to take a second, leaving him choking and covering his mouth with the sleeve of his suikan. "Poison. Damn!" He tried to sit up and yelped as pain splintered through his ribcage. "Shit!" At least three broken ribs. Damn, this wasn't good.

He struggled to his feet, squinting through the haze. The villagers had all vanished, aside from a few unlucky souls who'd caught the worst of the poison and were lying dead on the ground. He breathed a sigh of relief to see that Miroku was still breathing; the gas mask had been at least partially effective. "A bear-demon that breathes poison. Just our fuckin' luck," he muttered, coughing. A thin blur streaked through the air ahead of him, purifying some of the poison; two more followed, but not nearly enough. He looked up the hill to see Rin, Kaede and Kagome standing with bows in hand, protecting the villagers behind them; unfortunately, it seemed they were almost out of arrows, and the wood and fletching was disintegrating before the bolts could ever strike the demon. "At least they're above the line of the poison." He noted that Sango was standing beside them, apparently helpless; a quick glance around informed him that the Haraikotsu was lying flat on the ground not far from him. How she'd lost it, he didn't know and didn't have time to find out.

The bear demon was not far ahead; he struggled after it, coughing and feeling every jostling movement in his ribs. "Dammit. I can barely move!" Another spew of poison from the bear's mouth forced him back several steps, eyes watering, but he realized it wasn't directed at him. "The villagers are all up the hill; who's he after down here?!"

"I see you are strong, little fox!" the tri-tone voice of a mad demon echoed off the buildings around him. "You will taste far more delicious than these measly humans!"

"Dammit! He's after Shippo!" Inuyasha struggled forward, but he swayed as the poison in his blood seemed to make the world tip and twist under his feet. Familiar whimpering from some ways away met his ears; a cloud of poison smoke cleared momentarily, and the figure of a young boy sitting on the ground ahead of him came into view. "Shippo! Get away! Hurry!"

"Inuyasha! Help me!"

"Hn-hn-hn! Your little human friends have been incapacitated by my poison breath," the demon chuckled. "You're all alone!"

"Shippo! Agh!" He tripped and fell to a knee. Peering through the mist, he saw that Shippo wasn't just sitting on the ground helplessly; his right leg had been caught under the demon's foot. "Shippo!" Damn this human blood! He had- to get- through!

The demon bear reached down and picked Shippo in his fist; the boy screamed and struggled. "Say goodnight to your friends, little fox!"

And that was when something unexpected happened: through the haze of green mist; Inuyasha saw two pulsing red lights appear. "No," a voice hissed, raising the hair on his arms; it was unlike anything he'd ever heard: tri-tone, yet horribly familiar. It sounded like–

"I," the voice hissed, "WON'T!"

A rush of demonic aura blasted out from in front of him; the half-demon reeled, he'd only ever felt power like this from the likes of Sesshomaru or Naraku. "HAA!" the voice roared, and four streaks of brilliant blue light appeared. The demon bellowed as its hand was severed.

It was like nothing he'd ever seen; Inuyasha stood, stunned, as the boy raised a clawed hand, dripping with blood, and chuckled as a sphere of blue flame appeared in his palm. The demon-bear cowered and stepped back, but it was no use; Shippo let out a scream of rage, the demonic tri-tone mixing horrifically with his innocent adolescent tenor, and charged forward, bounding up from the ground to almost hover in the air. Two sweeping slices of his claws, blazing with foxfire, rent the demon from head to toe. Shippo landed on the other side, and the bear split apart, its halved corpse falling to either side.

Somehow, even then, Inuyasha knew that this wasn't the end of it. The mist was clearing, and out of the corner of his eye he saw one of the villagers move as if to descend. "Don't!" he shouted in warning. "He's not safe!"

His command, unfortunately, alerted the young demon of another presence behind him, and Shippo turned. Inuyasha finally got his first good look at the boy's face, and felt his blood run cold. Turquoise markings had appeared on the boy's formerly clear skin, stripes on his cheeks not unlike those of the hanyou's elder brother, and a tiny blue flame symbol on his brow: the sign of the kitsune kind. His reddish hair was floating in mid-air as if he'd been surrounded by an electric field, and indeed blue fire flickered in a halo around him, burning neither his clothes nor his person but charring the grass on which he stood. Shippo, his eyes gone blood-red with only the beadiest of blue irises, chuckled and cracked his bloodied fingers.

"Shippo," Inuyasha said warily, rising and taking a step forward. "If you can hear me…"

Shippo eyed him coldly, head tilted. Inuyasha wondered if he were even capable of speech at the moment, or rational thought. "This isn't you. This isn't what you want. If you can understand what I'm saying, I need you to calm down." Shippo didn't moved. Maybe that was a good sign. "I'm your friend," the half-demon said carefully, reaching out his hand. "I want to help you." He stepped forward, and stumbled.

That sign of weakness was all the trigger Shippo needed; he leapt forward, fangs bared and blue aura blazing, and Inuyasha froze, uncertain whether to draw his sword, to fight back–

ZZZZ-T!

A white-purple blur of light sang through the air, and an instant later an arrow thudded into Shippo's shoulder. The kitsune let out an unearthly scream and was thrown backwards in a blast of brilliant light. Then there was silence.

Inuyasha looked back, stunned, to discern the identity of his savior. Above him on the ledge, Rin gasped and clutched at her mouth, dropping her bow and sinking to her knees. Her quiver was empty; it had been her last arrow.

Inuyasha looked forward again, unable even to speak. Slowly, as the poison cleared, he staggered forward and knelt down beside the motionless form. Shippo was unconscious. His face looked peaceful, but the markings still remained. Blood covered the boy's vest and blue kosode, his claws, even his face; more blood was soaking through where the arrow punctured his shoulder. The half-demon let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding.

"Shippo!" He looked up, startled, as Kagome dropped to her knees beside the boy. "Oh no. Quick, you! Get me some rags! And you, boil some water!"

"Shippo…" That was Sango's voice, not far off.

"He must have transformed out of self-preservation." Miroku, conscious again, but Inuyasha couldn't bring himself to care. He just kept staring down at the poor little child at his knees, and wondered how the hell they'd gotten here.

…Inuyasha felt his eyes flutter open, and looked around for a moment, confused, before he remembered where he was. The moon had moved in its course, and he realized that several hours had passed. He blinked dazedly, and then froze.

Ahead of him, a pair of jade-green eyes, glowing in the darkness, quickly looked away.

犬夜叉

They set out the next morning at dawn. It was a cool, windy day, growing colder as they moved further up into the mountains. Every now and again Inuyasha glanced over to his young companion to see that Shippo's nose and ears had gone red; his face was getting wind-bitten, but the boy didn't seem to notice. "Alright, we'll stop up ahead!" the half-demon called finally, when he couldn't stand the stinging in his own nose and furry ears.

"I can keep going!" the boy replied stubbornly.

"Yeah, but I can't. Stop at that ledge up there."

Reluctantly, the kitsune did so. The outcrop on which they stopped had a sparse covering of grass, large enough for several people and without an overhang, so they were free to stand and walk about as they liked. Shippo did just that, sitting down at the edge of the cliff and looking off into the distance. It was a spectacular, if frigid, view: cragged, stony mountains, some topped with snow, others with a few knotted trees or patches of grass, extended as far as the eye could see, interwoven with white clouds blown about in fantastic shapes by the same cold, stiff wind.

There wasn't enough wood for a fire, not even with Shippo's magic, so Inuyasha took out some of the fish he'd cooked extra the night before and ate it cold, extending half to Shippo. "Eat up."

The boy glanced at it and then away. "Not hungry."

"Eat it or I'll shove it down your throat."

It was the sort of threat that was only half-empty, so Shippo grudgingly accepted and munched on the fish, not speaking aside from a muttered "thank you" when Inuyasha passed him the water flask.

At long last, the inu hanyou sighed. "Shippo, c'mon, say something."

"Nothing to say."

"Bullshit."

The fox-demon glanced at him, a bit surprised, and then looked away again over the mountain pass below. "I don't wanna talk about this, Inuyasha."

"Well you're gonna have to," the other said bluntly. "Because take it from me, the people who care about you are gonna make you. And the more you bottle this up inside, the worse it's gonna get, so out with it." When the kitsune flinched and didn't reply, he added, a bit more gently, "C'mon, don't you think I get it?"

Shippo was silent for a moment, and then nodded with a grimace. "Yeah. You do." He looked up, face a little pinched and still red from the wind. "I know you said I'm not bad. But I still feel bad. It was still me, wasn't it?"

"Shippo, listen to me: I saw you, alright? I watched you kill that demon. Hell, Shippo, you attacked me!" The boy flinched, and Inuyasha set a hand on his shoulder, causing him to look at him. "I looked you dead in the eyes when you were about to cut me in half," he said seriously. "And I'm telling you right now, Shippo, you are not bad. You weren't the one making those decisions; dammit, you weren't making any decisions at that point!"

"But I chose it, I chose–!"

"You were scared, you did what felt natural and let your power protect you. You didn't know what was gonna happen afterwards."

"I tried to kill you," the boy whispered. "And they all saw it. Rin, Kagome, everyone!"

"You tried to kill," Inuyasha corrected firmly. "You didn't know it was me at that point, you didn't know anything at all. Kagome explained it to me once, it's… it's natural, even human. You panicked. What happened afterwards was just… your body, your brain's natural reaction. You can't control that." Shippo looked away, and he grabbed him by the chin, forcing the boy to look at him. "Hey. You saw me kill those bandits, remember?"

The golden eyes seemed to be boring into him, and Shippo felt paralyzed. "You saw me slaughter them with my own hands," Inuyasha repeated fiercely. "Shippo, I was completely and totally out of my mind at that moment; I knew nothing but bloodlust." He leaned forward and demanded: "Do you think I'm bad?"

Shippo opened his mouth, but couldn't make any words come out.

"And don't lie to me. I'll know."

The irony of the statement managed to break him out of his shock, and the kitsune swallowed and shook his head. "No," he said weakly, but honestly. "You've– you've always protected me, and been so good to Kagome and the others, and you've taken me all this way. You're… you're good, really, really good!"

"Well, I wouldn't put it that far. But thanks, kid." He let go of the boy's chin and settled back. "I'm glad we agree."

Shippo looked away, a little self-conscious, but he understood the point. "…Thanks, Inuyasha."

"Hn. No problem, kid."

The kitsune finished off the rest of his fish– somehow, it now seemed far more edible than before– and then asked the question that had been burdening him since the previous afternoon: "What about the others?"

"Hn? What about them?"

"What… what do you think they'll say?" Shippo frowned. "I mean, I know what they'll say. Kagome will hug me and tell me it's all okay, and Sango will tell me she's glad I'm home, and Miroku will make some joke… but… what'll they really say? When I'm not there to hear it?"

Inuyasha glanced over, surprised by the insight. "…They'll ask me about you," he admitted. "How you're doing, whether you're okay or not… and then they'll probably ask me what it's like."

"But they already know, don't they? You've told them before…"

"Yeah, but they'll wanna hear it again. And then Kagome will probably worry about you some, and I'll have to calm her down. And they'll ask me how you're really doing because they'll think I didn't tell them the truth the first time." He looked over again and said honestly, "I'd like to be able to tell them you're doing alright."

Shippo didn't reply to that, but instead asked another question. "And… Rin?"

"Oh." The hanyou sighed out through his nose and shook his head. "I dunno, kid. She's your woman, not mine."

Shippo blushed furiously and leapt to his feet on the cliff-edge. "Sh-she's not my woman!"

"Ah, okay, sure. That's why you share all your crayons with her and brought her a pretty ribbon you found last month," Inuyasha said with a nod and a barely concealed smirk. "I'm sure you do that for all the village girls."

"Sh-shut up!" The half-demon laughed, and Shippo scowled. "That's none of your business!"

"Like hell it ain't! All that time making fun of me and Kagome for not having our act together, well now the tables have turned!" Inuyasha stood up, hands on his hips and grinning down at the kitsune like it was his birthday and Shippo was the prize gift. "I am going to tease you mercilessly. You will regret every snarky little comment and insult, I promise you that!"

"B-but we're not– Rin and I aren't–!"

"Ah c'mon, Shippo, I know you're a ginger but real men don't blush like that, it's embarrassing."

"Shut up!"

犬夜叉

Inuyasha's prediction had been correct; they reached Totousai's forge just before sunset later that day. "Hey, Totousai!" Inuyasha called, rapping on the roof of the mouth of the demon-skull which served as the sword-smith's house. "Y'home? We need some help!"

"Eh? Inuyasha?" Shippo shrank back a little behind the half-demon as the old sword-smith came to the front of the house. "Well now, and the little fox too! My lands, I'd never thought I'd see this day!"

"Eh? What day's that?"

"The day a son of the Inu no Taisho learned how to knock!"

Inuyasha did not look amused. He crossed his arms, scowling, and snapped, "Look, I didn't come all this way to chat! Can you help us or not?"

"Help you? Oh, you had better not be here to tell me something else has gone wrong with my precious Tesusaiga!"

"Your Tesusaiga?!"

"My swords are like my children; I care about what happens to them after they leave home!" Inuyasha scoffed, and the swordsmith took the moment to snatch the blade out of its sheath without the hanyou's permission.

"Hey! Did I say you could touch it?!"

Totousai ignored him and flicked the sword, easily transforming it into its more powerful mode. "Hm, no, looks just fine to me." He re-sheathed the sword just as easily. "Unless you are looking to purchase a new sword?"

"Yeah, but not for me." He jerked his head behind him. "Shippo, get over here."

The boy stepped forward uncertainly. "Er, hi."

Totousai examined him skeptically. "Hm. He's a little young, isn't he?"

"He's ten by human standards; good time as any to start his education."

"Mm-hm." Totousai didn't look fooled. "So you came to the best demon swordsmith in the land, instead of training with bamboo like every other boy his age. Yes, that seems logical."

"Look, old man, it ain't none of your business why Shippo wants a–"

"Inuyasha," Shippo broke in, cutting off the surprised hanyou. He turned to Totousai and admitted honestly: "I need a sword like Inuyasha's to stop myself from transforming. I don't know how to control my youki and I'm scared I'll hurt someone if I don't find a way to stop it."

Totousai nodded, satisfied. "I thought as much. That does change things, but I should be able to have a sword ready for you by tomorrow evening."

"Tomorrow evening?!" Inuyasha demanded, stepping forward. "It took you three days to fix Tesusaiga!"

"Believe it or not, Inuyasha, fixing a sword forged from the fang of the greatest demon to ever live and shattered by the biggest dunce to ever live is not the easiest task in the world!"

"Why you–!"

"Tomorrow evening is great, Master Totousai, thank you," Shippo cut in, bowing deeply. "But I don't have a way to pay you..."

"Ohh, I wouldn't say that! I have a few blades that need to be tempered, and foxfire is splendid for heating different metals to just the right degree! You can help work, and I'll repay you with the blade. But first, I'll need a fang of yours to work with…"

"Hold on a minute," Inuyasha said, pulling some weeds out of his pocket that Shippo had noticed him gathering the evening before. "Chew on this, kid. He's gonna pull a tooth, and this numbs the pain."

Totousai looked at him, surprised. "Inuyasha, I have numbing roots myself in the back. Did you really think I'd pull the boy's tooth out without them?"

"You didn't give any to me before, old man!"

"Of course not. I didn't need to give any to you, you were almost a full grown man."

"That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt when you rip a fang out of my mouth!"

Once all the bickering was through and Shippo's gums were sufficiently numbed, Totousai got his pliers and pulled out one of the boy's front fangs. "Hm. Good, healthy, nice size… you come from good stock, don't you, boy?"

"Yep! Papa was a real powerful demon," Shippo said proudly. "He defended our village for a long time; it took both of the Thunder Brothers to bring him down, and most of the other villagers escaped because of him! He was very brave."

"A worthy man, it sounds. This fang will do nicely; it should help manage your youki, and will itself grow more powerful as you do."

"Thank you again, Sir."

"No trouble at all. Now, you see those swords over there? Start with the one on the right, get it good and hot…"

Shippo worked late into the night tempering the swords, while Totousai worked away at forging a new katana. Inuyasha mainly sat off to the side in a huff, clearly impatient. He was more than happy to go out and fetch them dinner, coming back with an entire wild boar to feed the hungry demons. When at last Totousai sent them on their way to get some rest, Shippo couldn't help but feel proud; he'd never been so useful, and he'd never struck his own bargain and worked a job before. Inuyasha noticed the satisfaction on his face and ruffled his hair. "You did good, kid. Feels pretty great to do good honest work, doesn't it?"

"Sure does! What d'you think the sword will look like?"

"On a guess? Sharp and shiny."

犬夜叉

"Come here, boy. I need your help with this part."

Shippo glanced over his shoulder and set down the sword he'd just finished tempering. It was late in the day the next afternoon, and before him Totousai held a sword which was, indeed, very sharp and shiny. "Master Totousai?"

"I've more or less finished it, aside from the polishing and sharpening, but kitsune fangs are very resilient against ordinary demon fire; only foxfire will work for the final tempering. You'll need to heat it very hot, hot enough for the blade to glow white."

"Won't you be burned by the steam when you quench it?"

"Oh, a little, but I'm used to that. Go on, boy."

Shippo bit his lip with his fangs (the pulled one had grown back over the course of the night), and then closed his eyes and held them out over the sword. A blue sphere of fire appeared and then widened, licking at the blade. "Hotter," Totousai urged. "We need it glowing, remember."

The boy nodded; the fire began to glow brighter, until at last the light of it was a nearly blinding blue-white. Inuyasha shielded his eyes; even Shippo grimaced a little, but Totousai stared right into the flame with his bulbous white eyes. With sudden wildness he cried "Now!" and leapt to his feet, seizing the sword. In the next moment a cloud of steam erupted from the quenching vat, dousing the fox-fire mid air.

Shippo coughed in the steam and waved a hand in front of his face, trying to get some ordinary oxygen into his lungs. When the mist cleared, Totousai was pulling the blade out of the vat, a few blisters on his hands and face. Shippo gasped. "Oh no! You did get burned!"

"I'm a sword-smith, boy, it's an occupational hazard. I'll heal up in a few hours, don't you worry about a thing. Have you finished tempering the blades? Good. Go wait outside a few hours; I'll bring you the blade when it's ready. You too, Inuyasha."

The kitsune and half-demon left the forge and headed for a few sparse trees that dared to grow some distance away from the belching lava flow. "D'you think Master Totousai will be alright?" Shippo questioned, worried.

"Keh. That old geezer's been doing this for five hundred years, Shippo; trust me, he's gonna be just fine."

And so he was, for when Totousai emerged from the forge several hours later, carrying a sheathed blade in his gnarled hands, his blisters had entirely vanished. "Here you are. One youki-moderating blade for the kitsune."

"Thank you, Master Totousai," Shippo said bowing again as he accepted the sword.

"Well go on, try it out!"

Shippo slipped the sword into the ties of his hakama and then hesitantly drew the katana from its sheath. He'd never held a real sword before. The sunlight gleamed off the edge of the sharp, silvery blade, and the boy marveled. "Wow."

"It's for cutting things, Shippo, not for looking at yourself in the reflection," Inuyasha teased. "Attack something."

"Attack something? What?" He didn't really feel like trying out his new sword on the scattered lava rocks at his feet.

"Use this," Totousai said, a bit grumpily, and pulled a little straw doll from inside his tunic; when he dropped it, it turned into a full-size straw man. He raised an eyebrow at their surprised expressions. "You wouldn't believe how many times I've had a house destroyed because a customer wanted to try out their new toy. Do you think I wanted to live inside a giant skull?"

Shippo didn't have much experience with swordplay, but he'd seen Sango and Inuyasha train enough to know a few basic moves. Taking a stance, he held the blade out in front of him and focused hard on the straw man. To his surprise, the sword burst into blue flame, and he dropped it with a yelp.

"Oy! Treat it like that and I'll take it back!" Totousai scolded, rescuing the blade from the lava rocks.

"I-It started on fire!"

"The blade draws on a substantial amount of your youki; that's why it helps stop you from transforming. Your particular aura manifests itself as foxfire; bursting into flames is a perfectly natural reaction for the sword of a powerful young kitsune such as yourself. Now for goodness' sakes, use the thing and show us what it's made of!"

Shippo nodded and held out the sword again; the blue flames arose again, surrounding the blade and gleaming off the new metal. With a deep breath, he raised the sword and swung downwards. "Ha!"

The straw man split diagonally across the middle… and then promptly burst into flames.

Shippo beamed and laughed in amasement. "Did you see that?!" he demanded of Inuyasha, nearly bouncing with excitement. "I demolished it!"

"Well done," the half-demon said with a grin, deciding not to mention that most opponents were not motionless dolls made of straw.

"A sword like that deserves a name," the sword-smith said sagely. "What will you call it, boy?"

Shippo looked down at the sword pensively. Blue-green flames still licked the blade, and the answer came easily. "Kaensaiga," he said firmly.

"Hm. Fang of Flame. I like it," Inuyasha approved. "It's fitting."

"This is absolutely incredible." The boy re-sheathed the sword, the blue flames extinguished as the blade was covered. "Thank you again, Totousai-sama."

The old man blushed at the honorific and waved his hand airily. "No trouble at all, boy; in fact I'm rather proud of that sword, it was a real pleasure to make it. Take good care of it, will you?"

"I will! I promise!"

"Good lad. Now, will you do me a favor? Could you perhaps fetch me my water canteen from the forge? I'm parched"

As Shippo bounced back towards the house, the sword-smith caught the half-demon's arm. "Inuyasha," he said quietly, "I feel I must warn you: the boy may be young, but he is already very powerful, and that power will only continue to grow. He will need a guiding hand…"

"Don't worry, Totousai," Inuyasha reassured, not even needing to hear the question. "I'll take care of him. I promise."

犬夜叉

The return to Kaede's village was a much happier journey than the way to the forge, and by the end of the third day, they'd made such good time that the pair had slowed their pace to a leisurely walk. The village wasn't far ahead. "You're a real man now, Shippo," Inuyasha said, and it would have been a lie to say that there wasn't pride in his voice. "But that means you've got more responsibilities now. It's up to you to help us defend the village."

"I know. But I want to help, I always have!" Shippo beamed up at the half-demon. "And now I finally can! I'm going to be a real help to all of you, just wait and see!"

Inuyasha laughed and ruffled his hair. "I'm sure you will be, kid."

They stopped as they came to the crest of the hill overlooking the village. It was a lovely spring day; the sun shimmered warm in the bright blue sky, the birds were singing, and the grass grew green and springy underfoot. But at that moment, all Shippo cared about were the people working diligently down in the rice fields. He saw the two pairs of brigh red hakama and white kimonos that designated the younger village mikos, bringing around fresh water to the farmers. He saw the tied-up purple kasaya and darker hakama worn by one particular farmer, after whom trailed several children and a woman in a pink-and-green kimono, all of them planting rice in the paddies as they went along. And past that he saw the other villagers, people he'd come to know and respect, people who treated him well despite being born of a different race and clan than their own. As he watched, the woman with her children stopped and looked up at him, shielding her eyes. Distantly he heard the call: "They're back!"

The mikos turned and abandoned their water pails; the monk his farming tools; the woman and her children their green stalks. All of them hurried up the hill to meet him, smiling, greeting him. Shippo stared up at all of them, stunned.

"Shippo, you're home!" Kagome knelt down and swept him into a hug, her scent enveloping him and bringing to mind the one word he'd always associated with her: mother! "How are you?" she inquired with worry, drawing back and tilting his head up with her gentle hands. "Was it a hard journey? Inuyasha, you did make sure he ate enough, didn't you?"

"Feh. 'Course I did."

"Good." She smiled at the kitsune and promised sincerely: "Now don't you worry about a thing, Shippo; it's all okay. You're home and that's what matters."

"We're so glad you're back, Shippo," Sango agreed sincerely. "We were really worried about you when you ran off, you know."

"Oh. Um, sorry… I just…"

"Oh come on, ladies, a boy has to run away from home at least once in his life, it's a right of passage!" Miroku teased. "So, Shippo, did you meet any cute kitsunes out there?"

"N-no! Of course not!"

"Ooh, touchy, touchy…"

"Alright, guys, alright, give the kid room to breathe!" Inuyasha said loudly. They backed off, still beaming at him, and Shippo found that he was smiling back.

At least until he met the eyes of the last welcomer. Rin looked back at him, biting her lip, and his smile vanished. Shippo swallowed and dropped his eyes, kicking at the ground. "Um, hey," he said quietly. Out of the corner of his eyes he saw Inuyasha give the others a meaningful look, and the adults quickly and discreetly left, leaving the two young ones alone. Shippo snuck a glance up at Rin and found her still looking back at him, beautiful and thirteen and mature and his best friend, and her face completely unreadable.

"Hi," Rin said back softly. "Um, how was the trip?"

"Huh? Oh. Fine, yeah, it was fine…" He trailed off. Silence fell over the spring day, aside from the birds and the burbling of the river in the distance.

"Oh Shippo, thank goodness you're okay!" He started as he felt her arms fling themselves around him, and then he realized that Rin was hugging him, and… crying? Yes, he could smell saltwater. She was crying. Why?

"Rin?" he said uncertainly, and found his voice choked.

"I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry! I just didn't know what else to do!"

"N-no, you- you did the right thing!" he insisted, drawing back a little. Rin's eyes glimmered with tears. "Rin, I… I'm sorry. I scared you. I scared myself."

"Shippo…"

"I didn't mean to lose control, honest. I just… I don't know how to stop it. That's why Inuyasha took me to get the sword. Eventually I'll learn to control it on my own, or so he says, but until then…" Shippo blushed, ducking his head. "I'm really sorry for scaring you," he whispered. Don't hate me. Please, don't hate me.

"You don't have to apologize," Rin said softly, drawing his attention upwards in surprise. She reached forward and caught her hand in hers, giving it a gentle squeeze. "It wasn't your fault. You have nothing to apologize for."

Shippo stared at her, stunned and not a little embarrassed, flushing at the cheeks. Rin blushed as well and quickly let go of his hand. "Can, um, can I see the sword?"

"Huh? Oh. O-oh, yeah." Still red in the face, the boy stepped back and drew the sword. Immediately blue tendrils of flame swirled around the blade, and Rin gasped.

"Wow. It's so pretty."

"U-um, thanks. I think." She nodded and smiled that sunny smile at him, and that was when Shippo knew for sure that they were really okay. He sheathed the sword and grinned back at her. "So, um, what can I do to help around here?"

Rin giggled. "Well, you can help me fetch more water if you like."

"I'm on it!" Shippo dashed down the hill in search of her forsaken water pail, and Rin laughed aloud. He shot another grin over his shoulder at her, still in pursuit down the hill, and marveled at the way the sunlight seemed to beam down on her hair and glint in her pretty brown eyes, or maybe it was simply the joy that radiated from her face that made him feel all warm inside, so warm he knew he'd never forget it. I've found it, Inuyasha, I know I have.

Yes, he knew, he would never forget that day.

A/N So what did you think? If you can believe it, I wrote all of this over the course of one day. Please do leave a review (they make me so happy!) and tell me what you thought of a more grown-up Shippo. :) Pax et bonum!

–FFcrazy15