This is a fan made story. I don't own the rights to the Protector of the Small series, any of its characters belong to Tamora Pierce… Much to my disappointment. This goes AU about midway from the book Page. Fair warning. Constructive criticism is welcome but if you don't like it simply because you don't like the line of thinking, please don't attack me for it. This is mostly centered on Joren. This is also a slow build Kel/Joren.
Author's Note: My first few chapters are for more of an establishment of the change in course of events.
Winter 454/455
When Sir Paxton took Joren to Fief Trebond, he had only hoped that interacting with two people who had risen from the status of 'peasants' to that of 'nobles' would give the boy a sharp reminder that the circumstances of one's birth didn't determine their worth. In fact, Sir Paxton had once been a like-minded individual in his young squire. It had taken nearly dying in combat only to be saved by the lioness and a group of Queen's riders for him to learn that gender or station in life didn't determine their worth.
He now made a concentrated effort to teach the squires from conservative families like his own the lesson he had learnt the hard way, even those he didn't personally train. He had been by no means horrible before he learnt his mistake, simply closed minded. He hoped that he could help others in that situation to learn to be more open to the changes in Tortall and learning they were for the better. He didn't always succeed, but most of the squires had at least learnt that not liking something didn't make it evil or wrong.
Up until now, he had had no success when it came to Joren, at least not visibly. Now, however he saw a very abrupt and definitive change. The boy was practically inhaling all information that came to Chivalry as if it was his only chance of survival. In a way, it was, considering the Chamber of Ordeal was literally designed to test your worth as a potential knight and, at their finest, knights took the code to be the rules they lived by. From what he had heard, the girl took the code so seriously that she had declared war on hazing because it was directly counter intuitive.
As it was, with Joren's new found obsession for chivalry, Sir Paxton brushed up on the topic as well and started bringing certain points to the boy's attention. Ironically, it was in his family's home Fief that Joren was doing most of this studying. Paxton's own mother, Florzile was, thankfully, uninterested in Joren, as he as a squire fell under the providence of men. Merovec, Paxton's younger brother, however, did show some interest as his betrothed was the sister of Page Keladry and he had heard of Joren's mischief. As a scholar, Merovec was a good source of information for Joren.
It was a few weeks into their being at Nond that Paxton's brother approached him, quite confused, "Pax, do you know that your squire is reading a book on lady knights? He asked me for my opinion on their influence in history last night."
Sir Paxton looked genuinely surprised by this, "Huh. No, I didn't. Not that I'm complaining. I swear, up until I visited Trebond with him, Joren was as stiff as our father and mother are. Something happened. I don't know what, but something caused his ridged nature to snap because, by the time we left, he was respectful to both Baron Coram and his wife, both of whom were born from lower classes. It is quite remarkable, really, when you think about it. I am surprised that he is progressing so quickly. It is like overnight he went from having a stick up his ass to diving head first into anything I am willing to teach him. He hasn't completely changed, mind, but the fact that he is even willing to read a book on lady knights or learn anything about them is stunning in and of itself."
"Well, what ever happened, I would suggest you encourage this forward thinking. Both the king and his heir are very progressively minded. Sticking to conservative mentality would only hurt him and his family in the long run. In a way, I am glad you have embraced a more progressive stance, even if you do so quietly. Father will hardly live much longer and the opinions of the those who are from his generation are quickly losing hold. Also, I will of course answer squire Joren's questions, but you should study up on the answers too. You will need to have opinions before he starts questioning you as well," Paxton smiled at his younger brother's comment before going back to his own reading, making a mental note to look into the history of female knights. If his squire was asking about such things, perhaps there was greater hope for the boy after all.
Much as always, spending the winter months near his parents left Paxton taxed in his reserves of patience. This time however, he held onto the gleeful thought that Joren was improving at a rather remarkable rate. Joren had seemed to have embraced the Code of Chivalry and the two had held many conversations on the topic. Joren had even, eventually, and very tentatively, started a conversation about the potential value of females in military positions just before the start of spring.
"Sir Paxton?" Joren knocked on his door at the usual time for their lessons and discourse over what Joren had been reading.
"Come in Joren," Paxton happily replied, putting his correspondence away.
Joren obeyed, carefully holding a book in his arms, hiding the title. Joren took his normal seat and looked at Sir Paxton with uncertainty before speaking, "So… well… I have been reading a book on lady knights…"
Paxton had to hold back a smile at the way the boy stated it. Where before their trip to Trebond Joren had been arrogant and a general brat, he now seemed to have lost most of his self-confidence. Paxton had been working to build his confidence back up, but only to a healthy amount. Long gone was the arrogant ice prince and in his place was a child who needed proper guidance and attention, and more importantly, was looking to him to give it. Paxton had come to realize that Burchard of Stone Mountain had been a father only in name and had done very little to educate or even care for his son beyond ensure that the boy would share his own opinions. Paxton had thus taken it upon himself to fill the duties of a father in a way. Lord Burchard had three other children, two daughters and a son, and Paxton felt that in the end, it would fall to Joren to ensure that his sisters didn't face a horrible fate by marrying someone like their own father.
"Yes, I heard about that. You wish to make that tonight's topic of discussion on Chivalry?" Paxton nodded, willing to let Joren take the lead in the conversation.
It was in this way that the boy learnt that his own opinions were important but not the only ones to be had. Joren did just that, knowing what his knight-master expected by this point. He explained that Baroness Rispah had gifted him a book on Lady knights before they left Trebond and he had begun reading it recently, out of curiosity. As he went on, it because apparent to Paxton that Joren was fighting conflicting beliefs.
He didn't seem to understand how lady knights could be able to live the lives of noble women and warriors despite having a living example in the Lioness. When Paxton pointed this out, Joren argued that was only possible because she had a commoner for a husband and the aid of the Goddess. Paxton shook his head by the end of the night and recommended that the boy sleep on it and reminded him that they would be heading to Corus in a week's time to see what kind of business the realm needed fulfilled for a knight.
A week later, Joren still hadn't reconciled the two concepts so Paxton suggested that Joren ask his own peer, Page Keladry, how she planned to make the two work. Joren balked at the idea at first.
"Tell me why exactly you are uncomfortable with asking Page Keladry such things?" Paxton pressed on the second day of their journey.
"I've mocked and tormented her throughout the two years we have known each other," Joren finally answered uncomfortable about the truth. "She will hardly think I am doing anything other than mocking her now."
"Well, perhaps you should apologize for your past behavior. You are hardly the same person you were before. If you work hard, you can make amends for your past mistakes. Perhaps, if you like, I can speak to Lord Wyldon and see if he will permit you to train with her a little?" Sir Paxton offered before continuing. "Just, whatever you do, don't insult her or imply her incapable. That girl has more than proved her worth from what I've heard."
Joren thought for a moment before nodding his agreement. They were only a few hours from Corus at this point and Joren resolved to apologize at the first opportunity and he declared his intention to do so to Sir Paxton who smirked at the small sign of confidence in the boy. It would take time yet, he knew, for the teen to learn there was a difference between bravado and real, justifiable confidence. The former is a show for others, the latter something built up with success, experience, and understanding, and overall is earned.
As it so happened, when the two of them passed through the palace gates a few hours later, the lady in question was on the curtain wall. Joren looked confused by her actions, "Why is she up there? She's terrified of heights." This comment made Sir Paxton chuckle.
"Courage is not the absence of fear but the proof that there is something within you greater and more powerful than fear itself," Paxton quoted an old general whom he couldn't remember the name of. "Page Keladry is likely up there facing that which she fears because she realizes that she can't allow her fear to control her. If you fail to face your fears, they merely grow larger with time. Never forget that."
Joren looked at Paxton with a bit of awe before asking, "How do you know what she is thinking?"
"I know because I have been where she is now. I abhor heights as well, not that I would admit it to many. It is a fairly common fear, in truth. After all, who isn't afraid of falling to their death? My father was rather brutal about not allowing my fear to control me, however. When he learnt of it, which was inevitable really, he moved my things to the highest room in the tower of our castle. You know the one. He then insisted on me looking from the windows of all the towers and describing everything I saw every morning. He would even have servants doing random things below so that I couldn't cheat," Paxton explained as he dismounted when they came into the palace stables. "Now, I believe it is time for you to face your own fears. I will rub down Star Scream. You go give an overdue apology."