The Games We Play
A/N: I am so sorry for the long hiatus, college can get pretty darn busy, hopefully I'll finish Act I before I go back! For now enjoy and thanks again to all my wonderful reviews and for the faves this story has gotten!
Also one weird request. I've really binge watched several Hercules episodes in preparing for this story, you know that old TV show from the nineties, but why are there so many episodes that are missing? Anyway if any of y'all know where to find the episode Hercules and the Prom- PM me the link or something. There is vital information that I need for the upcoming chapters.
Please enjoy this extra long chapter.
Disclaimer: First Chapter
"All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances, And one man in his time plays many parts."
- As You Like It, (Act II, Scene VII), William Shakespeare
As you all may know, gods are inherently bonded to all life- not just those who are the actual god, or in this case, goddess of it. Think of it this way- no life means no one comes to pray, sacrifice, praise, or to make you feel really darn good about your caste in life. Yeah, mortals having to go through all that growing and aging, and diseases, and dying- oi no thanks. Immortality is great. You should definitely try it sometimes.
But there is a down side to it, dear reader.
Oh yes, a very real one. A fear that all gods have, not just the ones in Greece and parts of Persia. They too, just like lowly insignificant mortals, fear the sting of death, but infinitely times more.
And thus we come to how to truly kill a god in a much more sinister- slower way: Disbelief, forgotten, abandonment. The very cancer of immortality.
Many gods have come and go, many of their names long forgotten- even by the gods who replaced them, but all in all, once the very mortals who worship you decide to turn their backs on you- the Olympian gods will become nothing more than whispered names around a campfire, as the sun sets and dreams and magic awaken once more to lift the sorrows of man.
Now remember, dear reader, quite previously, Kore, the goddess of life took a dip into the legendary Phlegethon, you know the one where Wonder Breath, I mean Jerkules- oh you get the idea threw all caution to the wind and tried to save his girl… Well, do you recall what happened to him? And what exactly happens to life when it jumps into that particular river?
If you're not catching on by now go back and reread, please stop wasting valuable reading time.
Moving on.
So one can rightly imagine the panic attack that was flitting around Mount Olympus as each god felt their hearts stop beating, the ichor in their veins halt in place as their screams of pure unadulterated pain turned into deathly silence. With each one falling into a heap on the cloud palace.
But just as quickly as the bizarre occurrence had come upon the rising tide of the screams of humanity down on earth, it passed like the transition from day to night. Quickly and unexpectedly, leaving all, gods and mortals alike, under this new blanket of fear.
A fear the gods had thought was pushed so far deep that the very minute it resurfaced had left them utterly paralyzed.
Also quite literally about the night time thing.
Yeah, Apollo may have just created the Saharan Desert, and Phrixus just watched his sister fall off a magical golden ram. Also I think it's probably good to point out that the world was just staring into space at this moment- even the Fates were at a loss for words, but we'll get to them later.
Hera was the first to move, picking herself off the cloud floor, and rushing to her husband's side, where he lay still on his throne. "Zeus, dearest, are you all right?!"
Frantically, the Queen of the gods slightly shook his still golden body, until the god's periwinkle eyes shot open.
"By thunder, I haven't felt like that since…" Whatever he was about to say was lost as he stared into his wife's frazzled, wide eyes.
"Oh, thank the gods you're alright!" Hera wrapped Zeus into a tight embrace, hoping it would slow down her rapid heartbeat, and to remind her that she was still there and so was her husband.
But Zeus had other plans as he removed Hera's arms off of him and tried to force her to look at him. "What was that?!"
"I don't know, darling!" Hera nearly shouted. "There was screaming and you were going on about something and suddenly you started screaming as well!"
"Oh Hera, there's no need to exaggerate," Zeus cut her off, as he stood up from his throne and gazed down at the earth.
"But you-"
"HERMES!" Zeus shouted, calling for his faithful messenger. Yet when the familiar sound of flying birds did not come, the king of the gods turned his attention back to his frazzled wife.
"Where is he? Fastest god alive and he's nowhere to be seen?! I knew I should've hired Iris, but no, you wanted her all because you thought I had a-"
"Sup, boss," an exhausted voice rang from across the room.
"Hermes, are you crawling?" Hera appeared by his side in a flash of pink glitter or something creative, add something here ya dork.
"Only a little," the god quipped, tiredly as Hera helped him up, and back onto his normal flying position.
"I see we weren't the only gods affected by this strange spell," Hera mused. "Oh! Wait a moment, the mortals- Hercules! Zeus, what do you think is the cause of all this?"
"I don't know," the thunder god tugged lightly on his beard, trying to find a solution, but when his brain tuckered out after a couple of seconds, he fixed his gaze upon the blue-skinned god.
"But we're going to get to the bottom of this." Turning to his left the god addressed his loyal messenger, "Hermes, go pay a visit to Hercules, and check to see if he's alright."
"And the mortals?"
"Them too," Zeus agreed, nodding his head once. "But see to it that Hercules starts up his own investigation on earth, and gather up the gods not present. We need to get this situation sorted out before the tournament tomorrow, and with the more gods on board, the more the mortals tensions will be eased… Why are you still here?"
"Catching my breath, babe," Hermes put up his hand in a 'hold on' motion. "That really took something out of me babe." Then within a split-second, the agile god was gone, taking off with an amazing speed that would've rivaled some of his best times.
He did this to relieve all of the anxiety caused by that bizarre near-death experience, hoping that his favorite pastime would take his mind off that incident, and it would've work too.
If, of course, Athena hadn't managed to burst into existence, chariot and all right next to him. Before Hermes could even stifle a gasp, the goddess had successfully grabbed the back of his toga and dragged him into her chariot.
"Whoa, babe, I know you wanted to wring my neck for tricking the mortals we were the same being, but come on. It's not my fault they bought it!"*
Hermes couldn't help but grin at his sister's reaction as she let him go, and flew beside her chariot as they spoke.
"Oh, not this again," the grey-eyed goddess rolled her eyes. "I don't have time for this Hermes, we have far more pressing matters than that."
"Whoa babe, no need to turn me into a spider, we were all affected y'know."
"Yes, about that little episode…" Athena's eyes narrowed as a disturbing thought crossed her mind. "What did father say?"
"Eh, he wants me to check up on Hercules and the mortals- Oh and gather up the gods for a mandatory meeting."
"Then it's a good thing I caught you, little brother. I need you to go straight to Demeter- I'll go see Hercules."
"Babe, you feeling alright?" Hermes removed his small sunglasses and began to clean them.
"Persephone is not on Sicily."
"What?!" Hermes froze in midair for a second before he realized Athena had gone on ahead of him. Speeding up towards her again, Hermes pleaded, "Athena, babe, you cannot make these kind of jokes with me."
"Well, she won't be tomorrow," the goddess clarified. "She's going to compete for the Underworld position, but you-" she shot him an accusatory finger. "-Are going to make sure Demeter doesn't check on her daughter today, nor tomorrow."
"Wait, Kore? Little miss 'I make flowers for the hell of it' girl?"
"Hermes," Athena rolled her eyes at an even more exaggerated rate. "She's your sister too, and you know she needs to move on up. She's already well past the age, but her mother doesn't want to let her go, and this is the perfect opportunity."
"Eh, I could come up with a few better ideas, but hey I'm not a god of wisdom over here. That's your department, babe, so I trust your judgement."
"Why, Hermes I'm blushing," she sarcastically quipped.
"But, babe I can't get over the fact that you want me to stop Demeter from checking up on Kore today- after what just happened?!" Hermes pointed out.
"Yes!" Athena shouted. "Who knows, Persephone might reveal the plan if her mother keeps pressing her. You know making her feel guilty about lying, and I don't want this little dilemma to foil our plans."
"Oh gods, how am I gonna do that?" Hermes whined.
"Oh for goodness sake," Athena, released her grip on the reins and grabbed her half-brother by his foot.
"Whoa! Hey, sis what are you doing?!" He shouted at her as he struggled to regain his foot in her adamantium grip.
"You're the god of lies!" She snapped with gritted teeth, "NOW LIE!" Athena roared, launching him down to earth like a javelin.
In the strange aftermath of the whole sealing the deal with a handshake, either god didn't know when to let go.
For Kore, that was mostly because she'd never really made a deal, and wasn't used to what happened after. Hades on the other hand, well, honestly I don't know why he didn't let go, but let's just say it was awkward to say the least.
"So do I let go first or do you let go first?" Persephone blurted. The goddess nearly cursed herself for letting her mouth get the best of her, but Hades- or his new alias 'Eubulus,' couldn't help but snort.
"Babe," Hades quickly let go of her hand and placed his own over his long chin in thought. "Memo to me after this whole shebang, we'll schoomze it up about business and I'll teach you the ropes about running a full Underworld operation."
"You know you're really making it sound like you yourself ran this place for awhile," Persephone eyed Eubulus curiously.
"Uh yeah… You could say Hades and I were really close before I took a dip in the Phelgethon." 'Eubulus' explained, "In fact you could say they were the same person," he added, but under his breath.
"What was that?" Kore inquired, watching with even more incredulity as Eubulus seemed to spark, almost like he was nervous.
"Oh, nothing," Hades said quickly, waving it off. "Just tryna come up with a to-do list."
Damn, he just sealed a deal, but now he had to figure out A) how to reclaim his kingdom without the other gods finding out he was back, B) how to make the babe into a formidable competitor, and most importantly C) how to not blow his new alias with his newest client.
She had some skills, that was apparent, most of them physical, but her mind wasn't as sharp as he would hope- so freaking easy to trick, it was depressing, but hey who was he to complain? It just made things easier for him. He had enough brains to make up for the both of them, but he always had time to plan for schemes.
In fact, years to plan things. It was tough coming up with every little detail that could deter a plan, and he had a freaking day. Maybe less if the competition started early- and what even was the time?! What the hell was even happening topside? Gods, he was so out of the loop it killed him.
"Oi, Persephone, you and I got what? Twenty-four hours-"
"Try eighteen," Kore supplemented.
"Crap," Hades cursed under his breath. "Okay, okay, eighteen hours to get a game plan going and all we got is these two bozos-" he pointed at Pain and Panic, "-My brains, and whatever other hidden talents you haven't mentioned."
"Well… um… I think-" Whatever Kore was about to say was rudely interrupted as Cerberus came barreling out of nowhere, and tackled Eubulus to the ground.
Righty dropped Praxidice at Kore's feet before he too joined his other two heads in viciously raining down slobbery kisses upon their master.
"CERBERUS- mutt- you stupid mutt! GET OFF!" Hades flared, sending Cerberus whimpering away.
"Aww, don't mind him, Cerberus," Persephone comforted the mopey beast. "Eubulus just hasn't had social interaction in a long time, and he just needs to readjust to seeing cuties like you…"
Now it was Hades turn to be curious as Persephone actually managed to turn his menacing guard dog into a puddle of mush.
Inching closer, the flame-haired god remained behind the tall goddess, and in a much softer voice than before, "Hey, how long did you say you were here, exactly? You know visited the underworld frequently? Made a day trip now and then?"
"Nope," Persephone answered truthfully. "I've been here what? Four hours? Right, boys?"
Pain and Panic stood at a 'safe' forty foot distance. Both of them had decided it was a good idea to stay as far away from Hades, in the case they say something very dumb or in the rare case they showed their favorability towards the new goddess on the block.
"Yeah, just about," Pain agreed.
"Yeah!" Panic agreed with too much enthusiasm. "It's been that long since she came in through one of the tunnels the shades have been escaping thr-"
At this point Pain covered his brother's mouth with his hand, once he saw the murderous glint in their boss' golden orbs.
"You mind running by me what you just said?!" the god grunted through gritted teeth as he appeared in front of Pain and Panic.
"Uh-uh-uh," The two imps were at this point holding onto each other for dear life.
"Oh did I forget to mention that?" Persephone inquired innocently, sneaking a glance away from Cerberus and catching Eubulus' gaze. "It's kinda why there's gonna be a competition tomorrow, and the whole search for the Underworld's Next Top Under-lord. The souls topside are running wild, creating a world of chaos back on earth. "
"Huh, did Zeus realize it?!" Hades sarcastically quipped, all the while flaming his two imps.
Kore snorted, so oblivious to the barbecue that was currently taking place, and too engrossed in hearing screaming as two of Cerberus' heads were whining when she focused her attention on one head even though she was trying her darnedest to give each head equal amounts of cuddles. "Don't give him that much credit," she exclaimed as she gave a final couple of pats on each of Cerberus's heads.
"Everyone was reveling in the party of the millennia until Athena and Hermes figured out something was rotten in the city states of Greece. Then they went to Zeus, who created this giant meeting about what to do, and then 'Thena got royally ticked off because nobody wanted to do it-"
"Pfft, yeah, gods don't like having responsibility. I should know, give 'em a hard days labor they freak out." Hades noted, noticeably more at peace now that he had relieved most of his anger on his two minions, or what was left of them.
"-and bada boom she told me. Now she's off somewhere trying to make sure I win. Oh!" Kore's face lit up with an idea. "She can help us too! She's going to meet up with me tomorrow and there we can-"
Now it was Hades time to snort, cutting off Persephone in the process. "Yeah about that, babe, but I prefer the scheming thing to be a one-god job."
"I hate to burst your bubble, Eubulus," Persephone spoke with uncharacteristically high confidence as she picked up Praxidice, strutting all the way to where Hades simmered. "But I think you're forgetting that we agreed to be working together."
"Persephone, sweetness, look," Hades calmly started. "I agreed to work with you, but I did not agree to work with a know-it-all daddy's girl. You, I can work with, but her, no way Jose. In fact don't even mention me to her. My privacy is of the utmost importance. We wouldn't want Zeusy finding out I'm a free bird, capiche?" He smirked, booping her on the nose.
"Coolio flameo, you just keep your side of the bargain, and I'll keep mine," Persephone semi-threatened, directing the spearhead point at his face.
"Oh, trust me babe," the god gingerly moved the scythe away from his face with his index finger. "I wouldn't dream of breaking this particular deal."
"Oh, thank the gods," Kore sighed in relief, dropping all semblance of her previous bravado, and embraced the god, being extra careful not to slice off his face with the scythe still in her hand.
Hades stiffened, under her touch, but mainly out of surprise, but before he could even do anything in response, she had already released him, allowing him to see her wide grin.
"I really do appreciate what you're doing, Eubulus even though you will get an incentive after all this," the goddess grinned with all the semblance of candor about her. "Now come on… Game plan time, what you got?"
Hades was at a loss for words for a second before his eyes zoned in on Persephone's scythe. "Hey, can I see that for a second?"
"Um… Sure?" She hesitated before she handed over Praxidice.
"Wowzers, this is a beaut, how'd you get your hands on this old thing?" Eubulus swung around the scythe, getting full feel for it. A slight chill went up his spine, though; an unpleasant feeling of familiarity.
Yes, he knew this weapon all too well. Had seen Zeus cut up their father with it, like he had done with his father before him. Ah, the painful cycle of irony. Who knew karma could be such a B with an itch?
"Oh, Athena… She commissioned Hephaestus to make a weapon for me so people can take me seriously."
"What? You mean a pink goddess of springtime with blonde hair isn't frightening?"
"Apparently creating flowers wherever ya step doesn't help either." Persephone laughed in spite of the dig at her, and took Praxidice out of Eubulus' grasp.
"That's a damn shame. Oh well," Hades smirk grew ever wider as an idea started to blossom, looking between the scythe and the River Styx where Charon patiently awaited on his ferry. "We're just gonna have to change that now won't we?"
"You got something in mind, Sparky?"
"As a matter a fact. I do," the god suddenly put one arm around Persephone's shoulders, eliciting a small thrill through the goddess and the slightest of blushes brightened her paled face.
"So, sweetness, wanna take a look at where you'll be living?"
Some say that it is always a great honor to have a goddess gracing your presence.
That of course would be true if she did not bring bad news, or in this case a favor.
Now I know, Hercules is always inclined to helping out gods whenever he could, or really anyone in need, it's in his very nature to help out those in need.
So when it was that Hercules was running through his large courtyard, the demigod nearly jumped out of his toga when he noticed Athena's chariot parked out in front of the steps of his house.
"Oh no…." Hercules cursed, his eyes scanning around his large villa. The goddess had to be here somewhere.
"Hey, Herc, you got a visitor," Meg practically ran down the stairs towards her husband."
"Meg, you okay? You look-"
His wife cut him off by grabbing him by the top of his armor, and bringing his ear down. "Hey, the old goat's not doing so hot. You go see what Athena wants while I go run to the market and buy some more oregano.^ Syrinx is on shift so I wouldn't worry about PhilI while I'm gone. Oh and I put some pita bread, olives, and feta cheese on the veranda so you two can chat."
"You're being awfully prepared," Hercules eyed Meg curiously as she let him go.
"Let's just say I've been waiting for some divine intervention these past two weeks," Meg quipped. "Besides, Wonder Boy, I think she's here for a solution to get rid of all the shades hanging around here."
"Wait, really?" Hercules, gazed around the courtyard suspiciously.
"Better believe it. Now here she comes, that's my cue to leave-" Meg lastly whispered before turning around to flash a warm smile to the goddess walking down the steps. "Hey, Athena, I found him. Thanks again for helping me with my looming. It can be such a pain starting it, y'know?"
"Oh anything for Hercules' wife," the goddess beamed. "I'll see you at the competition tomorrow, right?"
"Competi-?"
"Yes, Herc, you two have a lot to chat about. Now I have to go make a run," Meg waved awkwardly, giving slight nervous looks as she walked away. "Bye you two. It's been a real slice."
"Good-bye, Megaera," Athena exclaimed, before setting her eyes on her brother. "Oh, Hercules, we have much to discuss."
"Oh, um okay?" Hercules eyed Meg as she was already half way across the courtyard. "Is this about the Underworld and the shade infestation? Because I've done all I can to corral them, but that doesn't help when they can pass through walls."
"Correct… Now remember that time I let you watch over Ibid and you decided to cheat and had my little owl stolen by Fear and Terror?"
"Ouch, you still remember that?" Hercules smiled nervously.
"Not only do I recollect those rather unfortunate events, and a few other unmentionable moments in your high school life, but I have come to ask you for a favor. A rather important one as recompense for all the trouble you put me through."
"Athena, I would help you even if I didn't owe you anything. Now what, do you need?"
"Oh, Hercules you've always been such a good boy- well man now, but I'm going to have to ask you to help me do something… rather questionable."
"Not the first time I've done something like that," Hercules admitted.
"Good, because you're going to help me, help your sister become the next Queen of the Underworld."
"Wait, you?!"
"Oh, my dear boy, you have several." Athena couldn't help but laugh. "In fact this one I don't think you've met. You see she's…"
A bit of a fixer upper.
Those were the words rolling around Persephone's mind as Eublus had given her a grand tour of the Underworld palace.
Not that there was anything wrong with the design, the jutting black spikes were actually quite fitting to the whole Underworld theme. It's just this place was in dire need of some redecorating or at least what Eubulus had said when they first entered the place.
"Hey, if you don't like how it looks you can add drapes, potted plants, or whatever- y'know add a woman's touch."
Yeah that idea was starting to sound better and better Persephone mused.
She'd been wandering she felt for about an hour gathering several ideas before Eubulus had decided to scamper off and look for what they came here for. So far, he'd been gone for five minutes, and she was starting to wonder if he was still searching.
Oh well, she was perfectly content to continue her wandering. It gave her some time to think and consider her options, or rather her gathering number of allies.
Wowzers, she barely knew people for like a couple of minutes and they were already willing to help her. Did they actually like her or was she just a means to an end?
It was odd.
Athena was helping her, but just to keep Ares out of the Underworld. Pain and Panic were helping her, but just to get a new boss. Eubulus was doing it for an unnamed incentive. Now that she had a chance to think about it that probably wasn't such a smart idea… But at least she had made some conditions.
Yet he is nice. Maybe a bit of a fast talker, but having dealt with a mom who could talk her ear off it wasn't that hard to keep up with him. He was doing his best to help her, she had, after all, thrown all caution to the wind and rescued him- for that he owed a lot to her.
And yet, he was the only one willingly to tag along after the deal ended. He even went so far out to say he would help her out and teach her, like he was fine with being more than just a business partner. Almost as if he was searching for a friend.
That brought a warm smile to Persephone's pale face.
Still, his deal, she reminded herself. He never had explicitly stated what he wanted.
"Oh well, it couldn't be all that bad," Persephone exclaimed out loud to no one in particular as she entered a room she was not familiar with. Still, the thought lingered in the back of her mind; unlike all her bad thoughts before- this one refused to leave. In fact-
"Hey, Persephone, I found it!" Eubulus announced presenting her the black helmet.
"That's what you were looking for?" Persephone cocked her head in confusion. "Are we going into battle or something?"
"Sweetness, everything's a battle, but also a negotiation," he spun the helmet around, throwing it up into the air, a few times allowing his excited nerves to settle down. "That's the first rule of business. Actually, scratch that; first rule of business is find every loop hole, but that goes hand in hand, anyway."
"Funzies…" Persephone rolled her eyes all the while trying to contain her grin. "Does it actually do anything, or did it just belong on another skull laying around this place?"
"Haha, not this time," Eubulus winked, wagging his finger mischievously. "This old chrome dome belongs to Hades- makes the user invisible y'know. I'll wear this so I can be with you at all times without letting people know we're working together. And as an added bonusI get my privacy."
"Invisibility? So you're telling me his schnook of a brother got cool lightning bolts to showoff his divine wrath, Poseidon got a dinglehopper that controls the waters-"
"What the hell's a dinglehopper?"
"Not important-" Persephone continued, unabashed by Eubulus' interruption. "-and Hades gets a way to sneak into parties? Wow talk about getting the short-end of a stick."
Hades sighed, watching Persephone drift on over to the large circular map that made a main part of his office. The very place he had toiled over for years, centuries even, planning his hostile takeover, and now he was back. Same goals in mind, but new pawns at play.
"You have no idea, babe… No freaking idea…" He drifted off, suddenly quite interested in Persephone's sudden curiosity with the statues representing all the gods on the board.
Setting down his helmet on a unused spot on the edge of the map, Hades came up behind Persephone, as she picked up each of the statues, inspecting them one by one.
"Wow, look at the likeness of these things." Persephone picked up her mother's alabaster statuette, her finger lightly tracing over the flowers wreathed in her hair. "This guy's really nit-picky, huh? I swear every god and monster I know is on here, Oh! I wonder if I have one on here."
Hades knew for a fact she did not have such a statue on board, she was never at all a concern. Not even for one second was she ever a threat, or even a lowly pawn. What role did a godling have with the fate of the cosmos?
My how the tables do turn.
So while she searched, a new little figurine appeared in the god's hand. Alabaster, just like her mom's, he figured would best suit her.
"Hey, sweetness, I found it," Eubulus announced, shaking the figurine out to show the pink goddess.
"Holy Hera," Persephone exclaimed as Eubulus placed the statue in her hands, his fingers lightly brushing her own for the slightest of seconds. "It's me!"
"I can see that," Hades smirked. Gods she was, he hated to say it, but she really was adorable.
Persephone admired the little figurine, before she finally set it down. That was when she noticed Eubulus staring at her. It was not a bad staring just his eyes were trained on her, but his mind was millions of miles away. It was quite the wistful look indeed.
"Hey, you, okay? Can't die on me yet, Sparky."
"Uh, yeah." Hades shook his thoughts away. "Hey you mind running by me what your little scythe does? Any special powers? "
"None, whatsoever. I thought it could reap souls like a crop of wheat, but Athena said-"
"You just can't make a little hunk of metal have the power to rip the very fabric of the cosmos. If that was true you think there wouldn't be an uprising happening every damned minute? No sweetness, ya need magic, or some kind of divine intervention."
"Yeah that's what she said- maybe not as metaphorical, though. Although, Hephaestus did make it change into different objects- whatever I needed at the moment," Persephone thought back to how it changed into a rope and a clay tablet.
"Blacksmith god, makes sense he gave ya a monkey wrench."
"You know, for an object that was consequential for your rescue, I would have a little more respect." Persephone quipped. "For all I care, I could've left you down there to rot another millennia until I felt generous to throw you a bone… Get it?" She giggled.
"Ouch, babe, but I think you're misinterpreting me. You see, a monkey wrench can be useful when you can adapt it. I happen to know a certain witch who can make collecting souls the same way you reap the wheat in your fields."
"Really? Who?" She raised a suspicious eyebrow.
"Hecate, y'know the goddess of magic," he smirked as he pointed out said goddess on the map.
"Eubulus," Persephone's face grew soft with sympathy. "I get it you've been gone for a long time, but she's been off in the North, has been for the past decade. I'm sorry nobody told you, but a lot has changed."
Hades inwardly smiled. He knew she was gone, had been acutely aware ever since she had stopped sending complaints before he took a dip in the river. Hell, if it wasn't for her constantly disappearing he wouldn't have used that mortal potion she had cooking up.
And we all know how well that turned out.
"Then that's even better," the god's grin widened. "I can take care of that myself, I know a thing or two about doing such magical intricacies," he lied.
Sure he did know a thing or two about magic, it's just throwing glitter at stuff and expecting it to change, not that hard, gods were practically oozing that stuff. But what he wanted to do was not use magic, he was just simply going to use his authority as the lord of the dead to impart control over lost souls to the scythe.
"So what? I'll just swing Praxidice around until I collect every soul?"
"That's the plan, doll face," Hades summed up, summoning a cigar, to celebrate his ingenuity.
"Well that sounds all fine and dandy, but kind of toilsome too, you know?"
The god flared up for a second, his skin turning orange and his hair flaring up in rage. "Excuse me?"
"Oh don't get your toga in a wad," Persephone crossed her arms in defiance. "Look yeah, it's a smart idea collecting the souls with Praxidice, but you gotta understand the souls aren't gonna be in one place, they're scattered across all of Greece, maybe even farther! If I'm gonna win this thing I want to win so well that there will be absolutely no doubt left in anyone's mind that I can do this," she proclaimed with such passion that it took Hades a second to realize she was calling him out on his lack of foresight.
Yeah, she called him an idiot.
"So now it's up to you," she jabbed an accusatory finger in the god's chest. "To find a way to get them all gathered in a convenient place."
Maybe he was really turned on to this new challenge, or she just became a thousand times more attractive, but almost immediately a new idea popped into his brain.
"I got it, yes! Ooooh, I freaking got an idea that'll knock your toga off," Hades smirked, flames rose along the edges of his robes, but unlike before, they were content azure flames.
"Alright, Sparky, no need to blow a fuse," Persephone laughed. "What you got?"
"Well it's simple, just the same way we're gonna do with your scythe, but we're gonna have to go pay a visit to my br- I mean go see Poseidon," Hades corrected.
"Poseidon? Why him?"
"Let's just say even though the guy's wet behind the ears, he can control all the waters and by that, I mean the Styx. If he gives your scythe the power to control the Styx, just one measly river that separates the barrier of the underworld and the mortal world- she can just sweep all across the world and collect all the lost souls in one place and bada bing you win the Underworld."
"Well how you gonna convince him?" Persephone pointed out. "I'm not exactly Miss Popularity."
"No problemo, sweetness, that old cod is sweet on your mumzie."
"My mother?" She stared incredulously at Eubulus. "What?! But she's never dated anyone- she's not even interested in that," Persephone protested, remembering all the lengthy speeches her mom had given her about how awful men were.
Then again she had always excluded gods like Apollo and Hermes, hence the whole weird courting thing her mom was pulling now and then.
"Then how were you conceived, hmm?" Hades wiggled his eyebrow suggestively at her.
"Conceived?" Persephone stared blankly at him.
"Wait," he paused, getting serious for a moment, looking her dead in the eye, trying to see if she was joking or not. "You think having a kid is a one woman job? That your mom had a miracle baby? C'mon, babe, it takes two to tango."
"What? Look, I don't have a father. I just happened, okay? Just like everybody else, I just appeared."
Hades remained silent, wondering whether he should say something, telling her otherwise, but then again this was not a conversation he thought he'd ever have to make, especially to the chick he has the hots for.
"Alrighty then, anyway, he just does, okay? So all you have to do is use that little charm of yours and remind him that your Demeter's kid and what you're quest is and there's an I-X out of X chance he''ll say yes."
Persephone grinned a smug little grin. "Hmm, you know, I think this is the first time where I realized I can actually win this thing."
Hades scoffed, "Sweetness, the minute we shook hands was the minute your fate was sealed."
Abruptly like before, Persephone embraced Hades, but this times her arms enveloped around his neck. Quickly she released him, only to give him a small peck on his cheek in gratitude.
"Thanks, Eubulus, I mean it. I don't think anyone's ever been this nice to me."
"Eh, forget about it," Hades right eye twitched, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. "You know… We can wait till tomorrow before we go see Poseidon, so how about you go rest up. You got a big day tomorrow, and I sure as hell would hate to be the reason you're exhausted."
"Alright, I'll go crash in one of the vacant bedrooms then." Persephone walked to the doorway.
"Good luck finding one," Hades joked.
"Hey, get some sleep too, Sparky, I'm not the one who spent all those years down that river."
"Oh, don't worry about me, I'll be fine. Just leave you're scythe. I'll take care of it before you wake up."
"Whatever you say," Persephone waved, leaning Praxidice on the wall. "Good night, Eubulus."
"You too, sweetness, you too."
After Persephone had retired for the night, Hades appeared at one of the windows of his office, a new cigar held in his right hand as he had put out the other amidst his and Persephone's scheming.
"Pain! Panic!" Hades shouted.
"We're r-r-right here, b-b-boss." Panic announced. Both him and his brother laid prostrate behind Hades, waiting to be either roasted or sent away to do a task.
"Boys," Hades took a long drawl from his cigar, and slowly released a column of smoke out into his kingdom. "I've been thinking…"
A/N: *Hermathena it's a thing in Rome. Those two were literally best friends, and were always depicted together, two halves of a whole. Cunning and wisdom, good mix I say.
^Oregano isn't just for spaghetti, in Greek culture it was also used to ward off evil spirits. Also on a weird side note, if worn on the head when you slept it could give you psychic dreams.
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And if I don't upload the next chapter before then, Merry Christmas!