Mary took another pregnancy test, just to make sure. False positives happened, right? They had to happen and it wouldn't hurt to do it a second time, right?

A second plus sign looked up at her, almost mockingly. She stared down at it and willed it to become a minus. When that didn't work she reread the instructions, maybe a plus sign meant that she wasn't pregnant? Maybe that changed since the last time she took a pregnancy test almost forty years ago.

Closing her eyes Mary crumpled the paper in her hands and shoved it into her pocket. She carefully picked up both pregnancy tests and put them back into the box. She dodged the main room and went to her room, closing the door behind her and locking it for good measure.

Going to her nightstand she carefully pulled out John's journal, she had kept it once the boys had given it to her and they haven't asked for it back nor did she offer it. It was selfish but she just wanted to have this one connection to John left.

Opened it slowly she stared at the picture of John and the boys sitting on top of a car, squinting at whoever was holding the camera.

Being pregnant before...it hadn't been fun, either times. Both Sam and Dean were hard pregnancies and towards the end of the nine months she had been bed bound under doctor orders.

John had gone insane with worry, he worked more hours during those times to make as much money as he could before the baby was born so often times she was alone with her thoughts and waiting for him to call her to check in.

Back then she had been 'normal' more or less. Being pregnant made her more suspicious and as a result John would often come home to her salting the windows or sharpening the knives in their kitchen.

He never really questioned her about that, apparently his coworkers told him not to question whatever the pregnant wife is doing.

And now...now she didn't have that. She was hunting now, hunting regularly and with Michael being in Dean's head and her son ready to throw himself into the ocean, literally, she couldn't take the time off.

So that brought the remaining question, the real question that was digging into the back of her mind since the moment that the idea of being pregnant entered her.

Was she going to have this child?

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