An Infernal Union
A/N: So this is a weird one that I compiled two deleted scenes into a chapter to give y'all a treat for being so patient. Also bc they were cute and I didn't have the heart to totally delete them. The last scene was always intended to make it in since it continued literally the same time as Hera and Zeus' little tiff from previous chapter. One day I'll fix all this, but for now enjoy my chaos. We'll be on track soon. I promise this time.
Special thanks to Zabbie Q for inspiring today's quote.
Thanks as always to embez002 y gracias tambien para el Guest quien me dio unas palabras criticas tan linda! Perdóname por no mencionarte más antes!
"The history of the world, my love,
Is those below serving those up above!"
- A Little Priest, Sweeney Todd, by Stephen Sondheim
There was something different about this morning, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it as his eyes dazedly opened. The scent of flowers snuck into his unsuspecting nose, but it was welcoming and pleasant, two words that have never described the underworld. There was a comfortable weight nestled alongside him and for a second he considered going back to sleep, to forget the troubles the day would bring and hope Morpheus' magic still lingered in his body. Although to write it off as a weight would be a disservice to the goddess who still slumbered soundly.
Sensations that had numbed through the night began to reawaken as he felt her petal soft skin underneath his hand where it rested across her back and on her arm, bringing her closer to him in his own embrace. Her own head was still resting in his neck where he could feel her every breath coalesce against his skin like a warm summer's breeze.
Carefully so as not to awaken her, Hades shifted his arm and pushed back Persephone's errant curls that had begun to prickle his chin. However, he could not help himself after he completed his task and began to softly trail his fingers down the length of her hair, a distance he couldn't quite complete because of how lengthy it was, stopping instead when he noticed Cerberus' staring.
Just like he had seen him last, the still sort of regular sized three-headed dog rested one of his head's in Persephone's lap with the other two either on her knee or nestled over his paws, but the mutt was very much awake.
His folded ears began to twitch and perk up as he lifted each of his snouts in the air showing off the tiniest view of his teeth rather like an old man when they felt the north wind coming in.
The abrupt movement from Cerberus made Persephone stir in her sleep, releasing a somewhat disgruntled groan. "…What time is it?"
"Who cares," Hades muttered into her ear.
His hot breath stroked her neck and the goddess felt a ripple of pleasant goosebumps erupt across her skin. It was only then that Persephone began to acknowledge the god she had currently spent the night with and felt the burn of a blush bloom on her face. She told herself she was only closing her eyes for a second- nothing more. So why did she wake up to find herself with her hand resting upon his chest and her forehead on his cheek?
"It's VIII o'clock."
The sound of Melinoe's voice was quickly overpowered by Cerberus' barking and the shouts and cries that erupted from the couple.
"GAH!" Persephone screamed. "MELINOE!"
"HEY, YOU EVER HEARD OF KNOCKING?!" Hades shouted.
Persephone suddenly found herself disentangling herself from Hades as her face remained an ever deeper shade of pink as it dawned on her the situation her secretary had stumbled upon. "Don't scare us like that!"
"I didn't know he was here."
"Melinoe," Persephone slightly warned, as her annoyance began to make her hair curl at the ends with tongues of flame.
"Good morning to you too," Hades grumbled. Talk about a wake up call sheesh. "Cerberus, down boy, she's your breakfast."
"Forgive me, mistress, but you're far behind on your schedule today."
"Great," Persephone began to rub the sleep out of her eyes. "I can't believe I slept in- I've never slept in in my life!"
"You can do to take a morning or two off, sweetness," Hades rose as well when he noticed two pairs of eyes waiting outside of the door that had opened a crack.
"Good morning, boss!" Pain and Panic waved from outside in the hallway.
"Meet me in my office in ten, boys. We'll get this show on the road," Hades shooed the imps away.
"And to you too, Mrs. Boss!" Panic piped up before following his magenta brother.
The imps gave her wider than usual grins and for a second Persephone suddenly realized her state of dress.
"C'mon, Perse, let's grab a bite first. You're working with me today."
Whatever remnant of worry and embarrassment the goddess had began to quickly slip away to the back of her mind. "Really? This is a first."
"Hey, you'll be learning from the best," he offered her a grin.
"But what about the fields?" Melinoe spoke up. "They are in a terrible state numbering far over three hundred acres-"
Persephone's eyes landed on Cerberus who had wisely decided to act every bit of the playful 'puppy' by licking her wrist with one of his heads. "You know anything about that, Cerberus?"
"Uh- Perse-"
Melinoe lifted a page on the clipboard and actually made an expression for once. "Not including the possible invasive species that has begun to sprout in the areas of canine bile."
Persephone stiffened at the report. Combine the asphodels she made that were kept alive by her divine power mixed in with a little bit of digestion inside a three-headed dog like one would a brew may have created something else entirely. "Melinoe, later," the goddess seethed, her hair beginning to curl with flames.
Armed with a garden hoe, a shovel, and a rake, Persephone slinked down the seemingly infinite staircase, a shadow along the wall. In and out, five minutes to get there, five minutes back, hopefully she could squeeze in an hour of work to at least start repairs.
What she hadn't expected was Hades waiting in Charon's ferry having a smug look on his face.
"I'm gonna kill your goons," Persephone groaned at the sight of him.
"Alright, go crazy," Hades gestured his thumb a few steps behind her and to Persephone's great dismay, there was her tattler, wagging his giant tail while one of his heads was craned down, sniffing at her trail. Each step he took creating its own quake.
"You?!" Persephone sighed as Cerberus excitedly began to butt his massive heads against her, nearly knocking her over, demanding attention. "Okay, okay, I can't stay mad at you," Persephone dumped her tools into the ferry before returning her attention to Cerberus.
"Perse, babe, where are you off to on your government mandated break?"
"What? Can't a girl clean up a mess?" Persephone innocently inquired. "Charon, can you take me to Asphodel?"
"Belay that order, babe," Hades calmly exclaimed to the ferryman, who slowly looked between the two immortals and quietly turned around pretending he was not about to witness an argument between his boss and his wife. "Persephone," he started off slowly, but she could already tell he was not going to delay the inevitable. "You have minions, right?"
Persephone rolled her eyes at his trick question. "What's your point, Sparky?"
"Isn't it obvious? Jeez Louise, I can't believe I gotta spell it out for you," Hades huffed. "Minions, do the dirty work."
"It's not beneath me," Persephone gestured to the farm tools at the bottom of the ferry with a tired hand. "I can just do it myself."
"Oh, right why- why didn't I realize that sooner?" Hades sardonically laughed. "You know what you're right, you're right. I'm gonna do every flaming job myself from now on. Sleep, who needs it? Hang on a sec', I won't have to sign anymore checks- I'd save so much money…" Hades paused in mock realization. "Sure, I'll be dead in a week, but money. Perse, babe, I'm a changed god. Is this what love is-"
"How do you put up with him?" Persephone dead-eyed Charon.
The ferryman simply shrugged his ancient shoulders.
"I mean c'mon, you think I only use minions for blowing off steam?"
Persephone eyes floated over to the visibly deadpanned imps and back to Hades, this time wearing a wry grin.
"Don't answer that," Hades groaned.
"I didn't say anything," she cooly replied, her magenta eyes flashing the way they would whenever she laughed.
"Perse, let me break it down to ya Aesop style," Hades pinched the bridge of his nose in mild frustration. "I'm gonna throw one word at you that is guaranteed to change your life and make your afterlife a helluva lot easier."
"Is that a bet?"
"For your sake, you better hope not," Hades dryly laughed. "And the word of the day is: Delegate, and delegating means-"
"I know what it means-"
"You're gonna have to hand some of the tasks that don't require much gray matter to your ghoul squad," Hades ignored her and continued to stand on his soapbox. "Know why? I'll tell ya why: You're stretched thinner than Procrustes' victims. Hell, you've been here for three weeks and you haven't even stepped foot in Elysium," Hades snapped.
Persephone felt her skin flush and her grin falter with a frazzled head sweep between the lord of the dead and the ferryman.
"Thought I didn't notice, huh, sweetness?" Hades mirthlessly smirked.
"I'm- I'm not ready," the goddess tried to steady herself. "There's so much I need to learn out here and- and Rhadamanthus hasn't exactly been straightforward—"
"And you won't have the time to learn if you keep doing the jobs a minion can do," Hades icily finished with a rigid glare. The flame-haired god watched as Persephone's hair began to flare and the crown she had abandoned was immediately set back into place as her work peplos burned and gave way to the long, regal robes as black as pitch.
An implicit grin pulled away at Hades' lips. "Charon, take her wherever she needs. Boys, we got some work to do," he had gestured Pain and Panic away.
Persephone had stood there defiantly in the ferry, her fists clenched and a fire in her eyes that met his gaze head on. However, she did not open her mouth to defend herself again and snap at him like a wounded she-wolf as he marched away, and it was that quiet moment of rage that made Hades unveil his grin unfettered now that his back was to her.
Persephone had long fooled everyone, including him for a time, that she was not so easily angered, but in reality, she was almost as short-tempered as him. Their one difference, however, was she had long learned how to deal with it quite a bit differently than he. Maybe Demeter recognized her daughter's volatility from an early age and had worked hard to mold Persephone to respond to rage in a way that wouldn't send the world to its knees.
After all, anger itself isn't a sin, dear reader, the sin comes in how you enact it, and for Persephone- she took action. Never allowing for a second to go by when something could be done. Her tenaciousness proved to be a double edged sword with her, and though she took his advice to heart by finally seeing his criticism was both effective and long due, Persephone had her own plan of revenge forming in the cogs and wheels of her mind.
The very next week, Persephone had come running into the throne room with a particularly triumphant expression that was cooled and tempered by her coy and sweet grin. A look he had only seen once before, and if only he had learned the first time, he would've run in the other direction to avoid the fires she was stoking.
"Oh Hades," Persephone had burst into the throne room, her peplos intermingled two different cloths the colors of pomegranate and night, long and flowing a few feet behind her with Melinoe close by her side. She almost appeared like a chthonic Hera, but her hair was still covered by that diaphanous dark veil, obscuring her luminous locks and the sea of dark magenta flowers she had interlaced within them. "Can I have a word with you?"
"You can have a little more than that," Hades his eyes drank her in without meaning to, flaring white for the briefest of seconds.
"I've given thought to what you said-"
"And you can finally breathe again?" Hades crookedly smirked. "Come on, rope drops in five."
"That," Persephone conceded with a huff. "Bu-ut, I think we need some more hands here too. Melinoe," the lampade by her side tried to keep up with the long-legged gods and practically threw the scrolls into Persephone's waiting hand.
"What? Need new hands?" Hades eyed Melinoe warily. The lampade, likewise, glared back.
"I meant in the palace," Persephone gestured behind her with her thumb as they trekked down the winding staircase to the docks. "We need a staff that isn't just comprised by Pain and Panic. They can dust fine, but they're not exactly the most thorough. No offense, boys."
"Everyone's a critic," Pain miffed.
"And they get the checks for doing it, babe. The house is fine as is," Hades miffed.
"We get paid?" Panic incredulously looked to Pain.
"You've nothing with the place. You even told me so," Persephone persisted.
"I meant throw some drapes here and there, not hire some dolt to dust 'em. Jeez, get that one to do it if you don't want the boys taking care of it."
"She's my secretary. And if I'm being honest," Persephone leaned into Hades, whispering in a hushed voice. "We'll need to hire a staff to fix her mess."
Hades snorted at the memory of the lampade trying her hand at manual labor and couldn't help but agree with Persephone's sentiment."Good call," the god snorted back. "But look, Perse, when you bring in new hands, you gotta put up with their unions, give 'em benefits, insurance-"
"Not if they're dead we don't," Persephone handed one of the scrolls in her grasp to him. "And with shades who aren't in Elysium, no perks are needed like with the judges."
Hades cocked his eyebrow in surprise as he surveyed the contents of one scroll labeled in her signature loopy handwriting: Hell's Kitchen. It had a nice ring to it, but to fill his palace with shades? Let them waltz around the place and bother the hell out of him? "And how're you gonna convince the stiffs to sign on?"
"I've been documenting how well shades have been adjusting to the Asphodel Fields and even though its no paradise or a hell, a majority find it peaceful, but pretty darn dull at the end of the day. They'll come hollering for a chance to do something. I can get the ghouls to hand out pamphlets that we're hiring during their patrols and start sifting through applicants the second you give me the go-ahead."
Hades paused, staring at the wife quizzically. "Hang on, you're not going behind my back on this?" He held out his hand, helping her into Charon's ferry. "Move it!" Hades quickly snapped at Charon to start rowing- just before Melinoe could hop on board.
Pain and Panic blew raspberries at Melinoe as she became farther and farther away.
"Thanks- so you can flambé one when they catch you off guard?" Persephone joked. "No, no," she breathlessly laughed at the idea. "If we're not seeing eye-to-eye on things, we'll be at each other's throats in a hot second. And I'm the one with the scythe," Persephone winked, leaning into him as he stood as stiff as a board.
The idea of having employees in his house made the distant lord of the dead wary at the idea. On one hand, his palace was massive. It was column to column the exact same square footage as the Olympus mount plus one additional square foot, but after the eons, no one filled its halls but him. He did like the calm. It was quiet, no one to scream and moan at him, but the tomb-like palace was not easy to stomach either after eons of inhabiting its ghostly halls. He had once dreamed of grander things within this place, but that didn't last very long.
Persephone's persistence ripped him out of his thoughts as she continued to press into him, waiting for a response, but when he turned his face to hers, it was not impatience he found.
He didn't understand her. How she could be so fiery one second and the next, calm and pleasant. There was so much unpredictability in her nature just like the wilds of earth with its differing moods and temperaments, but when she took that second to level with him it almost broke his heart the tenderness in her eyes. Fates, when was the last time anyone ever looked at him like that?
"We won't have to hire a lot," Persephone's voice broke the stillness, her hand entwining with his. "There's just two of us living there, anyway, but that can change. We'll start small, and I'll make sure they leave the cobwebs alone," she added with a grin.
Hades squeezed her hand in return before gazing at Charon, who had managed to make himself unnoticed as he ferried them along the wide river. "Well as long as you get a yutz who can make a dish that isn't just wheat and wheat-by products."
Persephone playfully rolled her eyes. "You can't blame me when my mother is literally a goddess of grain."
"Someone's gotta branch out then."
"Another pun of mine out of you will be another frog I throw into this river," Persephone glared.
"Hey, you've been stealing mine all week! I'm just turning over a new leaf," Hades triumphantly grinned much to Persephone's chagrin.
Paperwork. He was up to his eyeballs in it. You'd think after all these eons that the paperwork would disappear altogether, but mortals were really funny that way. They just never could stop dying. Well, until they figure that out, his numbers would soar and the paperwork along with it.
It's funny, you'd think with the extra help around, the paperwork for him wouldn't be as bad, but with a war going on and Persephone taking care of re-housing the shades, the work was split evenly alright. Just not in the way he expected it.
Ugh, Hades frustratedly groaned, flaring at the sight of his own Sisyphean punishment. Couple more decades and they'd be out of this rut, but till that happened-
Oi he needed a drink to make his halfhearted toast.
"Hades?" Persephone knocked on the door frame, announcing her presence to the flame haired god. "I brought the sapling," she lifted a large amphora with a sizable tree set in the dead center.
Hades casually craned his neck at the sound of her entrance and gestured her into his office with a flourish of his hand. "Oh good, good. What did you decide on?"
"I guess you'll have to wait and see," Persephone teased and set the potted sapling on the floor beside the flame-haired god.
Hades released an unsurprised snort, but his thoughts did not have time to linger as Persephone slid her arms over his shoulders, wrapping him in her embrace.
The jolt of her presence lifted the tiredness from his eyes and levity settled back into his exhausted frame. "Hey, who invited you?" Hades chuckled.
"What are you working on?" Persephone ignored his own teasing as she fixed her eyes on the mountain of work in front of him.
"Tartarus has a lot more red tape than you can imagine," Hades miffed, twirling his pen in the air. "And getting his majesty in the system is starting to be a royal pain in the patella."
"You sure you're not including all the king's horses and all the king's men in that report?" Persephone released her embrace, her hand sliding across his back until she was out of reach, sitting on an unused corner of his desk.
"Y'know Tantalus is a real yutz, but at least he did me the favor of dishing them out in advance," Hades handed over the report to Persephone.
"Pity about the prince," Persephone muttered as she skimmed through the details.
"Heard he had him minced."
Persephone bumped her knee into his arm. "Hades."
"What? Tantalus got a kick out of it," Hades smirked.
"And Pelops a shoulder," Persephone dryly added.
Hades' face fell in astonishment before it quickly evolved into a sordid grin. "Ha! See?! It's not hard to cook this up."
"For Nyx's sake," Persephone groaned, giggling into her hand.
"C'mon, you gotta laugh about this stuff. What's life, anyway? A succession of one egregious joke after another."
"And we're the punchline," Persephone flicked her wrist and summoned an Oinochoe pitcher decorated with scenes of monsters before handing him back the report.
"Now you're getting it," Hades eyed the Oinochoe as Persephone began to pour what appeared to be nectar into two separate glasses. "Please tell me you found the cellar."
"I did," Persephone laughed, handing him one of the glasses. "But there's no wine in that."
"Pity," Hades sighed, swirling the thick nectar with some distaste.
"But I did throw some valerian in there. I've seen it work decently for insomniacs back on earth."
"Then I'll save it until after I'm done here," Hades set the glass aside.
"Anything I can help with?" Persephone inquired.
"Nah, I just gotta finalize the building permit before we start remodeling Tantalus' own personal corner of Tartarus."
"You never did say what you decided for him, or are you going with my idea to throw him into a plant that'll digest him for all eternity?"
"I liked the idea, babe, but at the end of the day, it's too much like Prometheus," Hades did not still the stroke of his pen. "But I can't say it didn't give me an idea, hence your flaming fruit tree. So enticing it's borderline poisonous."
"Wait, you didn't want it poisonous?!" Persephone nearly spit out her nectar.
"You made it- wait- wait- wait. Time out I was kidding, but really?!" Hades flared an excited blue. "What does it do? Come on, don't hold back on the gory details."
"Oh where do I begin?" Persephone began to glow as periwinkle flowers began to sprout beneath the desk, their heart shaped leaves a sharp contrast to the thorns upon the dark stems that dripped with malignant mauve sap. "Touching it will give you a severe rash that leaves horrific scarring because it'll make you want to scratch your skin off, but eating it will make the poor sap break out in boils all along the inside of their throat to the point of asphyxiation."
"Superb," Hades reverently sighed. "Hell, don't waste your talents for a small audience like Tantalus. No, can you whip up something that is palatable? Just this once," Hades smirked as he set his pen down again. "I want to tantalize the poor schlub."
"Oh?" Persephone giggled, leaning forward with a curious grin.
"I'm a genius, what can I say? Tantalus tried to feed his kid to the gods a la' cannibale, right? Well, I got the idea that from now until eternity he won't ever be able to quench his thirst or fill his gullet all while standing in a pool of the freshest water this side of Canathus and the best crop of fruit grown both above and below the ground by our one and only lady of the dead,"
"Won't he try and take a drink?" Persephone pondered between sips of her nectar. "Or are you installing a guard?"
"Like I'd pay a guy to play lifeguard. No, every time he tries to take a little sip- that water'll sink further underneath the sucker, and if he gets the urge to snack-"
"-The fruit'll be just a tad more out of reach," Persephone finished.
Hades paused. "I was thinking let the fruit fly, but that's more cruel, let's go with that."
Persephone lifted her brow at the seemingly passive punishment. "So no flaming pits of hellfire, or having to contend with hungry hippos for all eternity?"
Hades shook his head. "No, no, no, for the underwhelming mortals I tend to give 'em punishments that are a bit less on the nose, but torture, my sweet, is all about its simplicity. Trust me, when I say this is one of my crueler punishments. I mean picture this," he paused as he began to describe his latest masterpiece.
"To never taste, to never sate your thirst even when it is within arm's reach, just waiting for you to take it," his hand reached out to her as if he was attempting to snatch away an apple from its tree.
"I see what you mean about cruel," Persephone exclaimed as she rose to her feet, her hand floating over a new pot she had summoned with a sapling that would soon bare delicious fruit. However, she was not done, and enchanted it to make sure Tantalus never be able to grasp its fruit, no matter how far the branches would bough underneath the weight of its fruit.
"Eh, he deserves it," Hades waved his hand.
"I never doubted that," Persephone crooned as she once again bent down and wrapped her arms around his neck. "I just wonder where you get those ideas," she planted a soft kiss on his cheek.
"… You have no idea," Hades sighed as he felt her begrudgingly untangle her arms from around him.
"Good night, Hades," his name fell so soft from her lips, so close, it made her departure all the more emptying. And yet, there was a sense of her presence still there that he could not shake. Her warmth and bliss lingered far more potently in his heart than the scent of spring she carried in every one of her curls.
"Night, babe," Hades languidly saluted.
No idea, he smiled, albeit, a bit crookedly as he continued his drudgery. He had lied that he didn't have much work left to do tonight, but eh, something had managed to lift his foul mood after all.
And unbeknownst to him, Persephone was still there, waiting at the door way lost in thought. Hades' words still stuck with her and the unexpected rising of heat she felt rising- everywhere. Her lips especially felt the most singed, the most betrayed, but her own cowardice was far stronger than the feeling welling up inside her.
Maybe she understood Tantalus' punishment a little too well.
A/N: I need a couple weeks to revive the chapter that was supposed to go here, but she'll be up soon I just have to iron out a few kinks and after that we can finally get the Pirithous chapter that'll come out sooner depending how fast the other comes