Was this how Kelly felt when she learned that she was going to die giving birth to her son?

Mary was laying down on the bed, dimly she could hear Sam and Jack in the hallway talking to one another, they haven't closed the door so she could make out their voices but not what they were saying.

Closing her eyes Mary tried to focus on her breathing, letting the weight of the handcuffs ground her as best as they could.

They couldn't take her back to the bunker for the time being, they didn't want the spell to be negated by being in Michael's presence, if she and Dean were too close together they weren't sure what would happen and she wasn't in the mood to find out.

Despite the fact that her son was feet away, her adopted child was with him, and Dean was just an hours drive away, she never felt more alone in her life.

God she wished that John was here. Her hand came up to grip at her ring on the chain around her neck and tried to push back tears that were starting to fall.

She didn't want to die, again, she couldn't die. She had her boys to look after, they still needed her in one way or another.

Sam had mentioned the shot like mechanisms they had back at the bunker that they had planned to use on Kelly when she had been pregnant, itr was aimed to siphon angel grace from a person, but they weren't sure if it was going to work on her or what would happen to the grace once they extracted it.

Best case scenario the grace was contained.

Worst case scenario was that the grace escaped and went back to Michael inside of Dean and they were all back to step one.

One thing was certain, she couldn't stay in this hotel room anymore. She wasn't going to go back to the bunker but she couldn't remain here anymore.

Sitting up she cleared her throat loud enough to get the boys attentions. Immediately they stopped talking and looked at her.

"I want to get out of here, I can't stay in here forever." she told them. "And if you try to keep me here, I'll pick the locks and take my chance."

A pained look shot over Sam's face and he nodded, going to her side and carefully extracting the handcuffs chains from the bed so she could stand away from it.

"Is there….do you need the bathroom?" Jack asked, wringing his hands together.

Mary shook her head. "I just...need to get out for a bit." she said. "Alone."

Sam and Jack shared a look. "Mom," Sam started to say slowly. "I don't...I don't know if its a good thing to be alone right now."

"I just need...an hour Sam." Mary said tiredly. "Just an hour to myself, I need to think and I need silence."

"We could leave you alone." Jack offered. "Sam and I can go get food."

Mary shook her head again. "I need a walk." she said. "Are you two going to keep me a prisoner here?"

"Of course not mom." Sam quickly assured her. "It's just...we're worried about you."

"I know." Mary said grabbing her jacket and putting it on as best as she could. "I just...I need time to myself and I need to walk and I just...I cant right now."

Sam looked like he was about to argue but then deflated slightly. "Okay." he said, reaching into his pocket and pulling her cell phone out of it. He handed it back to her. "Just...please don't leave."

Mary nodded and pocketed her phone. "I'll be back." she promised him, putting her shoes on and going grateful into the fresh air. She walked from the stairs, away from the motel, and started towards the woods, needing some time to herself.

She needed to figure out what to do.

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