Ch. 18

The next day at breakfast they arrived together and the headmistress wondered if Hermione had told Draco her message.

During breakfast, Hermione hadn't gotten another letter, but Draco had. His mother had written back to him from the letter he had sent about him and Hermione. After he paid the owl he looked at Hermione.

He didn't know whether to open it or to wait for later incase what she said caused him any irritation. He took another look at Hermione and tucked it into his coat pocket so they could read it together later.

She was happy that he was waiting. Even with the terrible letters she sometimes got he had been putting them away until the evening to open them. Hermione didn't want them and usually gave them over to Draco straight away since he cared so much about them.

That evening at dinner there was a post owl that delivered a second letter to Draco, this time it appeared it was from his father. Draco also put this one in his coat and decided to read later.

When they had gotten back to their quarters, Hermione wondered if she should give him privacy. She waited in the kitchenette, taking way too long to make tea than was usually necessary. He also didn't want to be rude, but he wanted to read his letters before Hermione got a chance to so he was prepared for what they contained. He felt his parents were decent people at heart, but this seemed to be an issue that they wouldn't see eye to eye on.

When he opened his mother's letter he quickly read what she wrote:

Dear Draco,

Our lives have taken such a turn that not much surprises me anymore. I also expected as much

by the way you were looking at Ms. Granger at the train platform. The introduction to her

parents was also something that gave away your feelings for her. I feel I have no room to offer

any judgement son, after the terrible position your father and I had put you in because of our

choices. You've stood by me and I'll do the same for you. I do have to ask though Draco, do you

honestly think she can have feelings for you, do you expect her to someday be a part of our

family after being tortured by your aunt and held in your basement? I know you feel sorry for

the crimes we committed, but are you sure these feelings are true or that this isn't your way to

try to make up for the past? Forgive me for asking.

Love-Your Mother

He hadn't expected her reaction to his letter. If he was being honest, he did wonder if what he had with Hermione would really last because of the marks he had left on her past. When she talked about things like their future it made him feel like it might even be possible for them to move forward after all. He also knew that his parents and her were already off to an impossible start.

After a few more minutes he realized that Hermione hadn't come out of the kitchen yet and that things seemed to be taking a while. He got up to go check on her.

She was standing with her back to the opening and he watched her stirring her tea that appeared to be done a while ago. It was darker than usual because it had steeped too long. "What are you thinking about," he whispered as she gave a slight jump.

"We've got to stop doing that to one another," she remarked. "I was just giving you time to process your letters. Trying to give you some privacy." She grabbed the tea tray and began to walk past him.

"I could have read the letters over at my place if I was that worried about it Hermione," he added. He still needed to read the letter from his father and he doubted that was going to be something he wanted to read. He thought about leaving her place to read it in private but didn't want to be without her.

He sat down with Hermione on the couch in front of the warm fire and passed his mother's letter to her. He then took out the letter from his father and began to read:

Draco,

I'm beside myself after your last letter and I'm not sure what I feel more, shame or disgust. You

are one of the few pure blood wizards left, with good looks and a good family name, and you're

ready to throw it all away for this muggle born mud blood scum. The son I know would never

have looked at her twice, and she's not even pretty Draco. When this nonsensical fling with her

is over, feel free to contact me. Until then, I leave you no regards.

Had I a son I would have signed this your father.

-Lucious Malfoy

Draco was so angry with his father's letter that he threw it directly into the fire. He wanted to apparate to Malfoy manner to confront him. He also knew his father's reaction would be bad, but he couldn't have guessed it would have been this bad.

"Had he a son, shame or disgust" he thought, the words played over and over in his mind. "Our family name isn't good now anyhow!" Draco interjected out loud.

Hermione just looked up at him with a tense frame and big eyes. He didn't pay the sight of her any attention as he began pacing the room. "He had used the word mud blood, even after being corrected about how I felt about it," Draco thought. He banged his fist on the wall. Had his father sent the letters? Had he feigned innocence in the situation? "Highly probable," Draco said aloud as he punched the wall again. He wasn't sure he wanted Hermione to see him as angry as he was. He walked to the door and left without a word to her.

He headed down the corridor and went straight for the big oak doors at the front of the castle and went through them, he needed to take a walk and the grounds seemed like the best place.

He set out not paying attention to where he was going when after a few minutes he found himself at Hagrid's hut, but before the forbidden forest. He started to turn around when Hagrid called over to him.

"Hi Professor, what are you doin out here?" Hagrid asked in a friendly questioning tone.

"I…I was just going for a walk and ended up here, sorry," he offered as he turned away again.

"Hey, you don't have to leave just yet, I was getting ready to pour a cuppa'" he motioned for Malfoy to come inside.

He pointed at himself, "me?"

"Yes you, get in here," Hagrid said as he held the door open.

Malfoy came into Hagrid's hut and noticed that it was small but seemed to fit his needs. There was a large wooden table in the center of the room, and on the other side was a nicely made large bed. Dried flowers, roots, and strings of rope were hanging from the ceiling rafters.

Hagrid set two large glasses on the table and began to pour some mead colored liquid. "You look like you need one of these professor," he said as he nudged the glass over to Draco and took a seat.

Draco took a seat too. "I don't understand why you've been so nice to me since I started Hagrid," he sighed. "I was terrible to you when I was a student here, and I'm sorry for that." Being a teacher himself now he understood just how bad of a student he could really be. Draco took a drink from the cup in front of him and started coughing.

"Pretty strong stuff there, you might wan ter drink it slow," Hagrid started. "You were the worst student I had ter deal with Malfoy, but, you've changed," he added. "I remember what side yeh was on when the war was over, that's enough for me."

Draco took another drink from the cup.

"Yeh seem bothered tonight though, and usually Hermione is with you." He pointed out.

"Yeah, I just came from her place," he admitted.

"Yeah?" Hagrid didn't want to pry and tried to think of another subject.

Hagrid brought up racing brooms and the two continued drinking and talking for about half an hour.

Malfoy was starting to be affected by the drink Hagrid gave him and was in a mood to share more than he usually would.

"I just don't get this pure blood mania, you know what I mean Hagrid?" Malfoy began, "if there was any credit to it, and I mean any credit at all, then people like Hermione just wouldn't exist, would they? She can do magic I've never even seen, and she's always made it all look easy, even when we were kids."

"I don understand why people care about that, I never have. Look at me, I'm half giant and I'm no threat to no one, but there are those who would beg ta differ just cause of me race." Hagrid pointed out. "How is Hermione, I don see very much of her." Hermione usually came to dinner early and left before Hagrid made it, since he often arrived a bit late.

"Ah, well, she's doing good. She's been busy with being a head of house now," he added.

"Not as busy as she is with you though," Hagrid eyed him as he continued to take a drink.

"Yeah, been that noticeable, have we?" he asked.

"Not that I think anything is going on, but it's enough to make most folks wonder," he answered honestly.

Maybe it was the relief at having someone who would approve of Hermione, or just that he had too much to drink, but Draco began to tell Hagrid about the start of term and the agreement they were both forced to make with McGonigal if either of them wanted to keep their jobs.

"I don believe it!" Hagrid half shouted, "But she knows yeh an ol' Hermione had a negative history from going to school together."

"I understand her point though, we're held to a higher standard now, we can't let the students know when we don't get along with colleagues, it's unprofessional." Malfoy added.

"So you and Hermione are only like this because of the headmistress and no one knows?" Hagrid asked.

"Well, yes and no." He started again. "After several months of working with Hermione I actually…began to have feelings for her. I didn't expect that to happen in a million years. Then I asked Hermione to be my girlfriend when break was over and we've actually been dating since then," he added.

Hagrid looked shocked, not sure if Malfoy was joking or not. Draco decided to take another drink from his cup to break the awkward silence.

"You're serious," Hagrid confirmed, it was a statement and not a question.

"Perfectly," Draco replied.

"Knowin Hermione and seeing how you two have always gotten along, it's jus a little hard ta believe."

"I'm in a rough spot because I am serious about her, and I know being with her will cause issues between myself and my father, but she's worth it. You know what she said tonight? She talked about our future, you have no idea how happy that made me." Hagrid could see that Malfoy had had too much to drink. He was far beyond the normal friendliness he normally would have shown, and shared some long kept secrets. Now he was starting to bear his heart. It was too much for Hagrid.

"Wow it's sure getting late, I have an early day in the forest tomorrow morning. I better turn in," he added. "Do you think you can make it up to the castle alrigh'?" he asked.

"Yeah, I should be fine," Draco said as he stood up and nearly fell back down. Hagrid stood up so he could help walk him back to the castle.

The walk and the talk with Hagrid helped Draco put the letter with his father in context. He realized that if his father didn't truly care about his happiness, what was it his father wanted from him? On one hand he had Hermione who accepted him for who he was, and on the other his dad, who held him against a constructed standard that Draco wasn't even sure he wanted.

Hagrid helped him through the front doors and then to the portrait hole and then knocked on Hermione's door. When Hermione answered she was surprised to see Hagrid.

"Hi Hagrid," She said and then she noticed who he was supporting. "Draco!" she shouted as she ran to support his other side, "is he okay Hagrid?"

He looked at Hermione and could see that she deeply cared about Malfoy, whatever their past had been. "He's just 'ad a little too much ta drink is all," he deposited him in the doorway with Hermione holding on. "See yeh later Hermione," Hagrid smiled at her.

"See you, and thanks," she replied. He just nodded at the sight of them and left. She helped Draco in the rest of the way and closed the door. When she went to support Draco he was already holding the wall as he walked around the room towards the couch. She walked ahead of him to block him from the fire.

"Hermione…" he called out when he was almost near the couch, he needed a hand to make it the rest of the way.

"I'm here Draco," she reached out and took his hand and led him to the couch where he sat down.

"You're always doing that for me, always…"

"What do you mean? How much did you drink tonight." She asked.

"Just a cuppa' is what Hagrid calls it. The cups were pretty big though." He was talking in a way that she hadn't seen before but she thought it was cute. "But you, you're always taking my hand no matter where I'm at. I don't know how you do that…"

"Well you would do the same for me," she replied.

"I have done the same for you. When we got back from Hogsmead you were drunk Hermione and hitting on me, and I covered you up. And that's when I first knew…" He gazed into her eyes.

"I didn't know you did that," she said, taken aback, embarrassed.

He was quiet for a moment.

"I love you Hermione," he blurted out at her.

"I love you too Draco," she said.

"I'm willing to do anything to be with you, you know that right. I don't care if my father doesn't ever speak to me again, you're worth it to me."

Hermione hadn't heard this detail since Draco left directly after he burned the letter. She didn't want to be the cause of his family splitting apart. "Don't say that Draco," she looked pained by what he had just said.

He reached for her hand and pulled it up to his lips to kiss it. "Why haven't we already talked about getting married?" he asked.

He was going too far, she didn't think he would be talking this way if he was sober. "Draco, let's talk about it tomorrow."

"No, I want to talk about it now. We need to get our own place, and then what if we want kids?"

She looked at him with her eyes wide, "You're moving too fast for me Mr. Malfoy," she joked, trying a different strategy to bring him down.

"Oh, I forgot. I can't get too excited," he started to say with drowsiness setting in on his eyes.

"and why not?" she asked.

"After what I've done, what I've allowed, I'll never deserve you." He had drifted off to sleep and left Hermione to think about everything he had said.