Year 6: The Broken Pieces of my Heart

Chapter 52: October 2016

After that first day, Victoire found a way to survive at Hogwarts without Teddy. She focused on her classes, spent time with her friends, and took over her prefect duties with enthusiasm. In the beginning, she and Teddy wrote each other every day, sometimes twice in the same day. But as the weeks wore on, letters from Teddy became less frequent and more abrupt. Teddy had apologized in numerous letters, claiming that his workload was getting heavier and heavier, but it was still hard on Victoire. When the first Hogsmeade weekend of the year came around, Teddy revealed that he had to work and that there was no way to get out of it, leaving Victoire to spend the day moping and forcing her friends to drag her to Madam Primpernelle's for magical facials.

As it turned out though, Victoire didn't have as much time to wallow in her loneliness as she'd thought. N.E.W.T. classes were turning out to be exceptionally more difficult than she'd expected, and much of her concentration was being taken up by her three classes, which were more difficult than the nine she'd been taking the year before. And to add to everything else – her Professors all suddenly expected her to be able to do non-verbal magic.

"It's not fair!" Victoire complained one evening while she sat in the common room with Kara and Brianna, trying to perform some simple first year spells non-verbally. "The only classes that actually teach non-verbal magic are charms and defence, but we're still expected to use non-verbal spells in other classes."

"I know!" Brianna agreed. "Last week, Professor Tonks just declared that we had a month before verbal spells would be prohibited, but she's taking no time to teach us. Is she just expecting that we figure it out ourselves?"

"At the very least the school could offer some kind of workshop," Victoire complained. "For students who aren't in charms or defence. It's not like they made any requirements that students had to take one of them anyway."

Victoire and Brianna turned to Kara for her opinion, but she simply shook her head and shrugged her shoulders. "I mean, I agree with you," she said when her friends narrowed their eyes. "But since I'm taking charms I guess it's just hard to relate. What if you just spoke to your teachers and explained the situation? I'm sure they wouldn't mind taking a class to go over the basics of non-verbal."

"That's just it though, a class isn't enough," Victoire insisted. "Aren't you basically spending the whole first term on non-verbal spells?"

"Not exactly," Kara shook her head. "We're combining it with a comprehensive review of the past five years to make sure we have a really solid foundation going into the real material in the second term."

"That's just an excuse," Brianna said. "Flitwick's spending a month on non-verbal and she's hiding behind the words 'review' and 'solid foundation' to make it sound like more than it is."

"And I heard it's the same in defence," Victoire added. "Except Professor Derlid is calling it 'duelling practice'."

"That's just Derlid's style though," Kara rebutted. "He always has students duelling in his class. He says it's the only way to learn defence."

"But they're not learning any new spells until the second term," Victoire explained her frustration. "Whereas in potions, for example, we're learning about at least five new ingredients this month, and then we're spending the rest of the term covering advanced antidotes. That's a lot of new information to add to learning to brew non-verbally."

"But it's not like there's as much magic in your classes as there is in charms or defence. Potions is a lot of adding ingredients and heating and stirring. In herbology you're working with plants. In transfiguration it's a lot of calculations and theory before you even attempt a spell," Kara defended.

"So?" Brianna scoffed. "We still have to use non-verbal magic. Regardless of how often we use it, we still have to learn it somehow."

"Alright fine," Kara gave up. "You win, Hogwarts is stupid and your classes are all dumb for not teaching non-verbal. Are you happy now?"

"Not particularly," Brianna muttered as she continued to attempt and fail to levitate a piece of parchment. "But I appreciate you letting us have this."

"Well, I've got to go," Victoire declared, realizing that it was getting late and she was due for rounds soon. "Will you guys still be here when I get back?"

"Unless I manage to figure out how to make this spell work non-verbally, I'll still be right here," Brianna grumbled, flipping through Kara's charms book, which had a section on non-verbal spells in it."

"Yeah, and I've got to master non-verbal size charms before class tomorrow," Kara added. "So I'll probably still be working on that."

"Great," Victoire smiled, deciding to leave her things with her friends rather than carry them around the castle with her. "Then I'll see you soon."

Victoire headed over to the portrait hole and exited the common room, surprising a couple of second years as the portrait swung open into them as they prepared to give the password to come in.

Since she was running a little early, Victoire took her time descending to the fourth floor.

"You'd better hurry upstairs," she said when she passed by a couple of third year Ravenclaws in the corridor. "It's almost curfew."

The third years rolled their eyes at her, but Victoire didn't care what they thought of her. She continued her stroll through the castle until she reached the prefect's lounge where her patrol partner for the night was already waiting for her with the clipboard for bottom rounds already in hand.

"Victoire!" Joe Sanders exclaimed excitedly. "Looks like we're finally paired together again. It's been a while, hasn't it?"

"Yeah, it has," Victoire nodded, recalling the reason she and Joe hadn't been paired together in more than half a year. For some bizarre reason, Teddy had it in his head that Joe was interested in Victoire and he'd been uncomfortable with the two patrolling. As Head Boy, he'd been able to adjust the schedule so that they were never paired together, but now apparently the new Head Boy, Kurt Robins, had no such qualms.

"I hope you don't mind, I chose bottom rounds," Joe declared. "They're my favorite."

"That's fine," Victoire agreed, not bothering to mention that bottom rounds were her least favorite of the three options. She much preferred middle rounds – less stairs.

The two set out then, Victoire eager to get their rounds done so that she could get back to working on non-verbal spells. It seemed though that Joe had a different idea, as he walked at a slow pace, almost as if he were touring a museum and not patrolling the school hallways.

"So, how have you been?" Joe asked casually as they reached the Grand Staircase and headed down to the first floor. "I've barely seen you since we've been back."

"I've been good," Victoire said generically, not wanting to get into anything too personal with Joe. "Just focusing on school."

"What classes are you taking?" Joe wondered. "I know you're not taking anything that I'm in."

"Yeah, I'm only taking three this year," Victoire admitted. "Herbology, potions, and care of magical creatures."

"That's an interesting combination," Joe commented.

Victoire shrugged. "Well I guess I'm pretty good at herbology and potions, and then creatures was just so that I'd have a class with my friends."

Joe chuckled. "Any future career plans?" he wondered.

Victoire shook her head. "Not at the moment," she replied vaguely. "What about you though? What classes are you taking?"

"Transfiguration, arithmancy, history of magic, and charms," he replied. "I was thinking about continuing with muggle studies as well, but five classes seemed like a lot."

Victoire nodded. "Yeah, three N.E.W.T. classes already feel like more work than last year," she agreed. "Lucky you took charms though, since Flitwick is teaching non-verbal. The rest of us are really struggling."

"I could help you out if you'd like," Joe volunteered as they completed their check of the transfiguration wing and began to head towards the greenhouses. "Turns out non-verbal is actually something I'm pretty good at. I'd love to give you some pointers."

Victoire thought about it for a minute. Normally it was Teddy she would turn to for this kind of help. But Teddy wasn't here anymore, and her coursework were starting to suffer because of all the time she was spending trying to figure out how to cast spells without speaking. Brianna couldn't help, because she was in the same unfortunate situation as Victoire, and Kara was barely able to do the magic herself, let alone teach others.

"Yeah, that'd be good," Victoire agreed. "I could really use the help. Professor Abbott-Longbottom made it pretty clear that she wants the room to be in complete silence the next time we brew a potion, which is in about three weeks."

"Wow, that's pretty rough," Joe commented. "Even in charms, half the class is still mumbling under their breath most of the time."

"Professor Flitwick is okay with that?" Victoire asked in surprise.

"No, not really," Joe shook his head. "But it's hard to pinpoint individual voices when the whole room is doing it."

"Good point," Victoire nodded as they came to the entrance to the greenhouses.

"Don't worry," Joe said, reaching his hand out to touch Victoire's shoulder. "With my help, you'll be casting non-verbal spells in no time."

Suddenly, Victoire started to feel uncomfortable. Joe was standing too close, and his hand was lingering on her shoulder too long.

"Do you mind taking greenhouses one through five?" Victoire asked. "It'll go faster if we split up, and I want to check on something in greenhouse eight."

"Oh," Joe said, looking disappointed. "Sure."

Joe dropped his hand and Victoire watched him turn and enter greenhouse one. As soon as he was gone, she let out a breath. After all her disbelief, it seemed that Teddy had been right. Joe did seem to be interested in her. She would just have to make it clear to him that she didn't reciprocate his feelings.

VvVvVvVvVvV

"I can't believe you're doing this," Kara said the following evening. Dinner was over and Victoire had plans to meet Joe in the sixth year lounge to practice non-verbal spells. "Are you sure this is a good idea?"

"It's not like anything's going to happen," Victoire assured Kara. "If he tries to do anything but teach, I'll just make it very clear that I'm not interested." After patrolling with Joe, Victoire had returned to tell her friends what had happened. While Brianna seemed to think there was nothing wrong with meeting Joe, even if something were to happen – which it never would – Kara thought it was an extremely bad plan.

"You should bring us with you," Kara insisted. "We can act as buffers."

"Oh no," Brianna shook her head. "I'm not interested in chaperoning Victoire's date."

"It is not a date," Victoire insisted. "He's just teaching me how to do non-verbal magic."

"So you won't mind if we tag along then," Kara declared.

"Actually Kara, I'd rather you didn't," Victoire said hesitantly, knowing how it sounded. She saw Brianna smirking and immediately began to explain herself. "It's not like that Brianna. I just think I'll be able to focus better without the two of you judging me the whole time. I need to be able to focus on the magic, not obsessing about how every action could mean something and worrying about what either of you is thinking."

"Brianna could actually benefit from this little tutoring session too, you know," Kara pointed out. Isn't it selfish not to bring her along? I know I'm taking charms with Joe, but she's in the same situation as you are."

"I'm sure Joe would be happy to help Brianna another time," Victoire replied. "But I think these kinds of things usually work better one-on-one."

"Wouldn't want to be a third wheel," Brianna muttered.

"That's not what I meant," Victoire said, frustrated. "I only mean that with just the two of us, Joe can really focus on figuring out what I'm doing wrong rather than holding a more general tutoring session."

"What even makes Joe the expert on non-verbal spell casting?" Kara demanded. "If you need help, shouldn't you be asking one of your professors? I'm sure Professor Flitwick would be more than happy to help you, even if you're not taking charms. And Professor Longbottom is always available to help us Gryffindors with any problem we might be facing. There are other options."

"Well if Joe can't help me, then I'll consider speaking to a Professor," Victoire promised. "But it would be a lot easier if I could just figure things out without bothering them, and Joe already offered. Let it go Kara, I'm going and there's nothing you can say to stop me."

Victoire stood, grabbing her bag from the chair next to her.

"This is a bad idea," Kara warned as Victoire began to walk away.

"I want all the details!" Brianna added, causing Victoire to sigh. Her friends were overthinking this. It was just a casual study session between classmates. Fellow prefects. Friends even. But nothing more.

VvVvVvVvVvV

Victoire had never been in the sixth year lounge. It was new this year and differed greatly from the previous year's all ages inter-house lounge. The sixth year lounge was on the sixth floor, just down the hall from the ancient runes classroom. The color scheme was a combination of daffodil yellow and sea green – an interesting choice, but one that seemed to work. The room was bright, and had a much more airy feel than the Gryffindor common room, which leaned more towards the cozy side.

"Victoire!" Joe's voice greeted her as she entered the room. "Over here!"

Joe was seated on a two-person couch in the middle of the room and there was a feather on the small table in front of the couch.

"Hey Joe," Victoire greeted the Hufflepuff boy warmly, making sure to sit as far away from him as possible on the couch, to make it clear that she was only there for help with her spellcasting.

"So I figured it would make the most sense to start with the most basic non-verbal spell there is," Joe said, gesturing to the feather. "Levitation. Professor Flitwick had us all start with the basics before moving to more difficult spells."

"Yeah, Kara mentioned that," Victoire nodded. "So Brianna and I have been trying to levitate bits of parchment, but so far it hasn't worked."

"Well, parchment may be light, but this feather will be even lighter, so the magic can only be easier," Joe said. "Why don't you give it a try?"

"Don't you have any pointers first?" Victoire wondered.

Joe shrugged. "First I have to see what you're already doing before I can make any suggestions."

Victoire figured this course of action made sense. Teddy had always insisted on watching her technique before giving pointers. But the problem here wasn't that Victoire didn't know how to perform the spell, it was that she couldn't perform it non-verbally. She could hardly imagine Joe would glean much information from watching her stare at a feather.

Despite her doubts about the approach, Victoire took out her wand and pointed it at the feather. Focusing all her attention, she performed the wand motion and thought the words wingardium leviosa. When nothing happened, she turned to Joe questioningly.

"So, what was wrong with that?" she asked.

Joe hesitated. "Why don't you watch me, and then see if you can copy what I do," he suggested.

Victoire frowned. What difference would she see between herself staring at a feather and Joe staring at a feather? What she needed were tips on non-verbal magic itself, not this specific spell. Kara's textbook had talked about visualization, but Kara claimed she didn't use that method, and it hadn't worked yet for Victoire. She was more interested in the method Joe used to cast the spell non-verbally than his technique or wand-waving abilities.

Since Joe was already going for it, she figured she'd wait and see if anything he did gave her any clues as to how to proceed. He held his wand tightly and flicked his wrist, scrunching up his face in concentration. When the feather started to rise off the table, he released the spell and turned to Victoire expectantly.

"Do you see now?" he asked.

Victoire gave him a puzzled look. "What was I supposed to see?" she asked. "Then only thing you did differently is that you scrunched up your face. But I'm not doing that – it'll only cause me to wrinkle faster."

"Well maybe you don't have to scrunch up your face," Joe allowed. "But the reason I did that is because I was really focusing. Maybe you're not focusing enough."

"I'm focusing plenty," Victoire protested. "I'm trying my best here. Are you saying I'm not?"

"No, of course not," Joe backpedaled. "I only meant… maybe you just don't realize how much you have to focus. Tune everything else out. The feather should be the only thing you're thinking about."

"Right…" Victoire muttered, unsure how this was any different from what she was already doing. "Um… do you have any other tips?"

"You haven't even tried this tip," Joe said. "Give it a go at least."

Annoyed, but still willing to try, Victoire raised her wand again and tried with all her might to cast the spell. When nothing happened, she continued trying, until about five minutes had passed and she heard Joe sigh next to her.

"Look, I'm sorry," Victoire said, realizing that getting help from a peer probably wasn't a good idea. "Kara was right. I think I need to enlist the help of a professor."

"Come on," Joe said. "You can't give up yet, you're so close, I can feel it."

"Really?" Victoire asked. "Because I certainly don't feel it. I feel like I'm just staring at a feather for no reason. And you might be able to cast the spell, but obviously being able to do the magic is different than being able to teach it."

Victoire started to rise, but Joe reached out and grabbed her arm, pulling her back down.

"Wait!" he said. "Don't go yet. Just because this tutoring thing isn't going to work out doesn't mean we can't hang out a little longer." He scooted closer to Victoire on the couch and she started to feel uncomfortable again – like the previous day outside the greenhouses.

"No, I should really go," she said, suddenly regretting not bringing Kara, or even Brianna for that matter. "I still have time to find Professor Longbottom and ask about arranging some private lessons, either with him or another professor before curfew."

"You can talk to Professor Longbottom tomorrow," Joe insisted. "And besides, curfew doesn't really apply to us, since we're prefects and all."

"We're not supposed to break curfew unless we're rounding," Victoire reminded him. "And it really is getting late."

"Wait Victoire!" he insisted. "Please. I'd really like to spend more time with you. You're really cool. And smart. And pretty."

Victoire sighed, realizing she was going to have to spell things out for him. It was obvious that Joe liked her, and the only way to get him to stop pushing for her to stay was to explain why she couldn't.

"Joe I'm sorry, but you know I have a boyfriend," she said gently.

Joe leaned back, looking confused. "Lupin?" he frowned. "I figured you two broke up when he graduated."

Victoire shook her head. "We're doing the long-distance thing," she explained.

"I see," Joe nodded, shifting away from Victoire. "I apologize, I didn't realize… Are you sure that's what you want? It's still two years before your graduation. That's a long time to be apart."

"I know," Victoire nodded. "But we're committed to making it work. I love him."

With a defeated expression, Joe looked back up at Victoire. "I wish you the best of luck with that then," he said. "If you ever do break up – "

"Goodnight Joe," Victoire said, not letting him finish his sentence. She stood, grabbed her bag, and left the sixth year lounge, deciding to forgo the visit to Professor Longbottom's office. She suddenly felt the urge to write a letter to Teddy.