Year 6: The Broken Pieces of my Heart
Chapter 57: March 2017
As February turned into March, Victoire felt herself finally settling back into a normal routine. It was difficult, but she was slowly catching up with her classes. She'd almost submitted all of her extra credit work to make up for the two months she'd taken 'off', she was managing to keep afloat with the new material she was learning, and though she'd ended up with a few lower grades along the way, she was still maintaining a decent overall average.
Victoire was also started to feel more herself. She had found a way to reconnect with her friends, she'd gotten used to Jonathon being a part of the group a great deal of the time, and it was starting to get to the point where Teddy only crossed her mind a handful of times a day. And only one or two of those times caused Victoire a significant amount of pain.
However, it was on one particular day in March that Victoire realized that while she was doing alright for the time being, there was still one huge gaping hole in her life: her future. Victoire had planned her entire future around Teddy and without him, while she could now see so many possibilities opening up, she had no plan, no idea where to go from here.
"Looks like it's that time of year again," Kara observed one day when the four of them – Jonathon included – were sitting around a table in the common room working on various assignments.
"That time of year?" Victoire questioned.
Kara nodded in the direction of the noticeboard, which was covered with pamphlets for all the various wizarding careers.
"It's career advising time," she clarified. "For the fifth years."
"Ha," Brianna laughed. "I remember going through that. Such a waste of time. Like I don't know what I want to be."
"I actually found it really useful," Kara contradicted. "It never would have occurred to me to pursue a career working with children if Professor Longbottom hadn't brought it up."
"Wait, you want to work with children?" Victoire frowned, suddenly realizing that this was the first she was hearing of this.
Kara cocked her head in confusion. "Well yeah, didn't you know that?" she asked. "It's been my plan for practically a year now."
"No," Victoire said, reflecting and trying to remember a time that she'd heard Kara mention it. "No, I didn't know." She turned her gaze on Brianna and tried to recall whether she had any idea what her other friend planned to do with her life. "I don't think I knew what either of you wanted to do with your lives," she said, shocked with herself.
"What are you talking about?" Brianna frowned. "I talk about it all the time."
Victoire desperately wracked her brain, but couldn't think of anything. "No, I really have no idea."
"I'm going to be on the radio," Brianna revealed. "Well, obviously not at first, Professor Longbottom did have to explain that I'd probably have to work my way up, but eventually I intend to have a radio show on the Wizarding Wireless Network. It's why I'm interning there this summer."
"You're planning to intern at the WWN?" Victoire was shocked to learn this too.
"Victoire, I've been talking about this for months," Brianna frowned. "Even before you went crazy and tuned out for all that time."
"Huh," Victoire muttered, leaning back in her chair in confusion. How was it that she'd been completely oblivious to her friends' plans until now?
"What about you Jonathon?" she asked. "What are your plans?"
"I'm applying at the Ministry," Jonathon replied. "Department of Magical Law Enforcement. I'm going to train to be a lawyer. And I'm hoping one day I might make it onto the Wizengamot."
"Wow, that's ambitious," Victoire said, impressed.
"Yeah, well I've got to have something to work towards," he replied.
And that's when it hit Victoire that she had nothing that she was working towards. Up until now, ever since she'd snapped out of her haze of despair, Victoire's only goal had been to return to normal, to bring her grades back up to their usual standards, and to work towards the day when Teddy wouldn't cross her mind even once. She'd never been able to see past that. But now Victoire realized that she had just over a year before Hogwarts would be over, and absolutely no plans for where she would go after that.
"I need a plan," she realized, her wide future full of possibilities suddenly looming over her like a threat.
VvVvVvVvVvV
The next day, Victoire went straight to Professor Longbottom's office, even before going to breakfast, and knocked frantically on his door. Luckily, he was there, organizing some papers, and he invited her in to talk.
"What can I help you with today?" he asked.
"I need to set up a career advising session," Victoire replied. "I know they're only for fifth years, but I need help."
"I thought you didn't need any help?" Professor Longbottom returned, a little sarcastically. "You made that very clear last year."
Victoire sighed. "I know, and I'm sorry," she said. "I realize now that I need to make a plan. If it's not too late, I'd really appreciate your insight and advice."
"Very well," Professor Longbottom nodded, opening a drawer in his desk and pulling out a sheet of parchment. He studied it for a moment. "I have an opening on Thursday afternoon at two o'clock, will that work for you?"
Victoire mentally checked her course schedule and confirmed that she had a free period at that time. "Yes, that will work fine," she nodded. "Thank you."
VvVvVvVvVvV
Victoire spent the next few days frantically pouring over all the career pamphlets she could get her hands on. She was practically manic in her attempt to figure out what she wanted to do with her life. She'd lost a year of planning, was way behind her classmates, and had possibly ruined everything by signing up for the wrong N.E.W.T. courses in September. There was a reason they were supposed to choose a career path in fifth year.
"Broom making?" Brianna cringed as she picked up a pamphlet from the pile in front of Victoire. "Really Vic?"
"I'm investigating every option," Victoire replied. "I have to be thorough."
"But broom making? You would hate that," Brianna tried to point out.
"You don't know that," Victoire shook her head. "Just because I hate Quidditch doesn't mean I would hate making brooms. Making brooms is more about the magic than the flying."
"Not to mention the carpentry," Brianna said. "Do you really want to be a carpenter?"
"Oh, right," Victoire replied. "Okay, so not broom making. What do you think about working in muggle liaison?"
"I don't think so," Brianna shook her head. "For one thing, you'd probably need N.E.W.T. level muggle studies, which you aren't taking."
"Oh, good point," Victoire nodded, again reminded that she should have been making this decision last year before choosing her N.E.W.T. classes.
"But besides that, would you really enjoy something like that?" Brianna questioned.
"That's the problem!" Victoire exclaimed. "I don't know. I've never thought about any of this, and I have no idea what I want to do."
Brianna nodded. "Wait for Thursday. Professor Longbottom will help you sort it out."
VvVvVvVvVvV
Thursday couldn't come fast enough. But, just when Victoire thought she might lose her mind, it arrived, and instead she turned her focus to her career advising session.
Potions that morning was painful to sit through. Of course, Victoire couldn't afford not to pay attention, but she couldn't help but find her mind periodically wandering back to the pamphlets, trying to figure out which ones were even possibilities. Her options would be severely limited due to the N.E.W.T. level classes she'd chosen to take. Her options would be even more limited due to the fact that there were some jobs she already knew she absolutely didn't want to do. For example, Victoire definitely didn't want to work with dragons like her Uncle Charlie, even though with Care of Magical Creatures, she would be perfectly qualified with a single N.E.W.T.
At one thirty, Victoire eagerly made her way to Professor Longbottom's office, anxiously waiting outside while some fifth year finished up his career advising session. As she waited, she found herself pacing and tapping her foot and fidgeting nervously. Would Professor Longbottom even be able to help her? What if this was all just a huge waste of time and Victoire wasn't cut out for any sort of career? What if her destiny was to work as a low-paying menial laborer, perhaps working the counter at a shop in Diagon Alley, or washing dishes at the Leaky Cauldron.
Too soon, Professor Longbottom's door opened, and the fifth year emerged. Victoire stared at the door with a sense of trepidation filling her and contemplated turning around and just walking away.
"You can come in, Victoire," Professor Longbottom's voice called out to her from inside.
Against her better judgement, Victoire allowed her legs to carry her inside and to sit her down in the chair across from his desk. She folded her hands in her lap and started to fiddle with her thumbs subconsciously.
"Well Victoire, you are a particularly unusual case," Professor Longbottom began, shuffling his papers and pulling up her file. "Shall we start with why you've had a change of heart all of a sudden?"
Victoire remained silent.
"As I understand it, you had no plans of pursuing any type of job after graduation," Professor Longbottom continued. "You were going to let your boyfriend support you financially and focus on your relationship?"
Victoire swallowed. She'd suspected that this would come up, and she'd thought she'd prepared herself. But her professor's words still felt like a knife to the heart.
"I don't really want to talk about that," Victoire said shortly. "Can we just discuss my career options please?"
"Victoire, if there's something you need to talk about, you can talk to me," Professor Longbottom said gently. "As your Head of House, I'm here to help you with any sort of problems you may have, academic or otherwise."
Victoire had to blink back tears. Thinking about Teddy was too painful, and really she'd only come here to sort out her future.
"I'm fine, really," Victoire insisted. "Actually, I think coming here may have been a mistake. I'll just go – "
Victoire started to get up, but Professor Longbottom stopped her.
"Don't leave," he insisted, putting up a hand in protest. "Obviously you're not ready to talk about this yet, but you came here for a reason."
Victoire nodded, not trusting herself to say words.
Professor Longbottom looked back down at her file.
"Now I see you're taking three N.E.W.T. level courses – herbology, potions, and care of magical creatures. Is there a reason you chose those three courses specifically?"
Victoire shrugged. "Herbology and potions were my top subjects," she said. "I took care of magical creatures because I needed a third class and Kara and Brianna both took it too."
"I see," Professor Longbottom nodded, making a quick note on the parchment. "And what sort of career do you think you'd be interested in? Have you taken a look at the fifth year pamphlets?"
"I have," Victoire nodded. "But they weren't particularly helpful. I don't think I'm going to be qualified for anything with this pitiful combination of courses."
"That's not true," Professor Longbottom shook his head. "In fact, potions and herbology are an excellent combination and open a lot of doors when taken together. And there's always the option of staying back a year and re-doing your sixth year with different classes."
"No," Victoire shook her head. "I don't want to be held back. I want to graduate with my friends."
Professor Longbottom nodded. "Well let's talk about the options that are available to you with the courses that you are taking. Do you have any interest in working with creatures?"
"No," Victoire shook her head. When she'd thought about her Uncle Charlie's job, she's thought about the prospect of working with other types of creatures and decided it wasn't for her. She was only taking care of magical creatures so that she would have a class with her friends. Otherwise, she really had no interest in the subject.
"Very well," Professor Longbottom said, crossing something out. "And between herbology and potions, which would you say is your favorite class?"
"Herbology," Victoire replied. She didn't even have to think about it. The answer came so naturally to her.
"Tell me why," Professor Longbottom instructed.
Victoire shrugged. It was easy to pick herbology as her favorite. It was a lot more difficult to figure out why. "Is that important?" she asked.
Professor Longbottom nodded. "Extremely," he replied.
Victoire thought about it. She went back through all the years of herbology classes she'd taken and tried to remember some of her favorite things.
"I like working with plants," Victoire began. "I like watching them grow. I like how you have to be hands-on about it. I like the potting and the watering and the constant care. I like how plants are so versatile and can do so many different things. I like taking care of them, and watching over them, and eventually seeing them fulfill their purpose once they've matured."
Professor Longbottom remained silent through Victoire's speech, and when she was done, he rifled through his desk and pulled out a pamphlet. He slid it across the desk and Victoire looked down to read the title: herbologist. It was simple and obvious and not something Victoire had ever considered before.
"Is that even a real job?" Victoire asked.
Professor Longbottom chuckled. "It is," he nodded. "Herbologists work directly with plants, growing them and then selling the useful bits to apothecaries and potioneers to use in potion brewing. Some do research, looking at different ways to grow the plants, cross-breeding, and so on. It's not a glamorous job, but I think it's something you would enjoy."
Victoire tentatively opened the pamphlet and glanced over the various sections quickly.
"What kind of qualifications would I need?" she wondered.
"Herbology is the only required course," Professor Longbottom replied. "Potions will be an asset, of course. And as many places do, they do require that you pass a minimum of three N.E.W.T.s when you sit them at the end of seventh year. It's the reason we have the minimum requirement when you start sixth year."
Victoire nodded. So, she was perfectly qualified for this job, assuming she passed all her N.E.W.T.s. She wasn't completely sunk after all.
"I'll think about it," Victoire decided, seriously considering the idea. Working with plants was something she loved. One of her favorite things about Hogwarts was having herbology projects where she got to take care of a plant for some amount of time.
"If you decide you are serious about pursuing a career as a herbologist, then you might want to take a look at this," Professor Longbottom passed her a second pamphlet. This one was for a summer work program as a greenhouse assistant at a greenhouse in Ireland.
"Greenhouse assistant?" Victoire wondered.
Professor Longbottom nodded. "It would be excellent practical experience working in the field. This greenhouse is one of the leading research greenhouses in Britain. You wouldn't be doing any of the actual research, of course. Mostly watering plants, monitoring progress, general upkeep. But it would be great experience and would look great on your file when applying to jobs in the future."
Victoire took the second pamphlet, figuring she may as well look into it. She wasn't sure about it. The job was in Ireland, which meant she would most likely have to live away from home over the summer. It was a daunting prospect, but she would at least think it over before making a snap decision.
"Thank you, Professor," Victoire said gratefully. "I really appreciate your taking the time to help me."
"Of course," Professor Longbottom replied. "My door is always open."
Victoire started to stand, but her teacher stopped her again.
"One more thing, Victoire," he said.
She sat back down again, wondering what else there could be to say.
"Over the past while, you've been making a real effort. You've been doing extra credit work, not just for my class but for your others as well. All your teachers agree that you've been showing some real initiative and I for one am happy to say that I finally am seeing the Victoire that I remember from last year."
Victoire remained silent, unsure how to respond to her professor's comments.
"That being said, I think it's only right that you be restored to your rightful position as sixth year female Gryffindor prefect."
"Oh!" Victoire exclaimed, surprised. She hadn't expected this at all. Kara had been prefect for most of the term now, and Victoire had resigned herself to the idea that she'd messed up royally enough that she was never going to get that back.
"Kara has done a great job, but I think your re-dedication to school deserves to be rewarded," Professor Longbottom declared. "And besides, you were chosen, so it's only right that you continue to hold the position."
"Thank you, Professor," Victoire said gratefully. It felt unexpectedly good to be trusted with the responsibilities of being a prefect again. It was like she was becoming herself again. "I won't let you down again, I promise."
"See that you don't," Professor Longbottom said, suddenly serious. "If it has to be taken away again, you won't be getting it back."
"I understand," Victoire nodded soberly. This was her last chance. There would be no more do-overs.
With nothing left to be said, Victoire thanked Professor Longbottom one final time and then got up and left the office, eager to get up to the common room and start properly reading through her new pamphlets. And she had to stop by the prefect's lounge to check the schedule. She had no idea what Kara's rounds schedule was like these days and she would be taking over now.
As Victoire walked through the castle, she found herself feeling a little taller than before her meeting with her Head of House. Obviously she hadn't actually grown in the half hour they'd spent talking, but that wasn't it. Victoire suddenly felt more confident, more free, and more herself than she had in a long time.