Year 6: The Broken Pieces of my Heart

Chapter 58: April 2017

"Victoire! Good to see you. It's been a while," Joe Sanders greeted Victoire in the prefect's lounge one night. It was Victoire's first night rounding with Joe since her prefect status had been restored and he at least seemed very excited.

"Yeah, you too Joe," Victoire said, glancing down at the clipboards remaining. Top rounds had already been claimed, so Victoire claimed middle rounds before Joe could claim bottom rounds.

"Middle rounds, eh?" Joe observed. "Are you sure about that? We'll have to check the hospital wing, where all the sick kids are."

"It'll be fine," Victoire replied. "It's not like we have to be there for long. We just have to confer with Madam Eldrigde and that's it."

"Hey, whatever you want," Joe held his hands up in defence.

With a nod, Victoire motioned for Joe to follow her into the hall. The sooner they got their rounds over with, the sooner Victoire could go to sleep. She was exhausted.

"So, it's nice to have you back," Joe said, making conversation as they began their rounds.

"To being a prefect?" Victoire said. "Yeah, I'm glad to be back too."

"Well that," Joe nodded. "But also just back to, you know, being a human again.

"Excuse me?" Victoire asked, offended. "When was I not a human?"

"I didn't mean it like that," Joe insisted. "I just meant, well you haven't been quite yourself for a while, and it's nice to see that you are again."

"Oh," Victoire nodded, understanding. Joe was referring to the months she'd spent in a haze, not fully participating in life. "Right. Yeah. Well, as you can see, I'm back to normal now."

"What was it that was going on there?" Joe wondered. "I mean, you tapped out pretty completely for a while."

"I don't really want to talk about it," Victoire replied, not wanting to go down that particular road, especially with Joe.

"I understand," Joe nodded. "Its too bad Lupin wasn't still here," he commented. "He'd probably have been able to help you through whatever it was a bit faster."

"Teddy's not – that's to say – " Victoire hesitated, but she didn't need to complete her sentence for Joe to realize what she was saying.

"Oh, are you two not together anymore?" he asked.

Victoire felt herself stiffen up as she shook her head curtly. She waited for some sarcastic comment about long distance relationships never working. She waited for an obnoxious remark about how Joe would have been a better choice than Teddy, and their relationship was doomed to end this way from the start. But when he did speak, Joe surprised her.

"I'm sorry," he said, and Victoire felt very strongly that he genuinely meant it.

"Thanks," Victoire replied, her heart warming a bit.

VvVvVvVvVvV

Over the next few weeks, Victoire kept expecting Joe to ask her out. He'd had a crush on her for a while, and now that he knew she and Teddy were over, she was just waiting for the day he would try his luck.

Victoire would say no, of course. She wasn't ready to go out with anyone yet. She'd only just gotten over the break-up, and she needed to be by herself for a while before she would be ready for another relationship.

But as the days passed, Joe didn't say a word about it.

He said a lot of other words. He and Victoire rounded together quite often and as they did, they would talk about all sorts of different things. Victoire found that she quite liked Joe in fact and that she was glad to have him as a friend. Occasionally they would sit together in the common room or in the library while they did their homework, and Victoire started to find that when she spent time with Joe, she thought about Teddy less.

VvVvVvVvVvV

"You should ask him out," Brianna suggested to Victoire one evening.

"Who, Joe?" Victoire frowned. "Why?"

"You obviously like him," Brianna replied. "And you've spent the last fifteen minutes wondering why he hasn't asked you out yet."

"Because I know he's going to, and when he does, I'm going to say no," Victoire claimed. "Not because I want him to."

"If you didn't want him to, you wouldn't care this much," Brianna declared. "You want to go out with this guy."

Victoire sighed. The cold hard truth of the matter was that Brianna was right. There was a part of her – a very small part, but a part nonetheless – that wanted to go out with Joe. The rest of her hated that small part for existing. Victoire hated that she could betray Teddy in this way so soon after their break up. She shouldn't be thinking about anyone, let alone Joe. But Victoire couldn't help it. She liked him, and she enjoyed spending time with him.

"You and Teddy are over," Brianna stated bluntly. "I'm sorry, but it's true. You have to move on, because I guarantee he will."

"But what if I'm not ready?" she asked, scared.

"You're never going to be ready," Brianna replied. "There will always be a part of you that's going to feel guilty going out with another guy. It's inevitable. Teddy was your first and only. He'll be your first forever, but it wouldn't be fair to make him your only forever too."

Victoire sighed, knowing that Brianna had a point. And it had been almost four months since she and Teddy had ended things. Four months was plenty of time. Lots of people moved on in even less time than that.

"Alright," Victoire decided. "I will ask him out."

VvVvVvVvVvV

Victoire was a bundle of nerves that evening. She was once again scheduled to round with Joe, and after her conversation with Brianna that evening, she'd agreed that she would ask him out to their upcoming Hogsmeade weekend.

Victoire was terrified.

She'd never done this before. With Teddy, everything had happened organically. One minute they'd been best friends, and the next they'd been kissing in the attic. After that, their relationship had been easy. But asking Joe out was completely different. And Victoire had no way of knowing whether he would say yes. In fact, she was convinced he would reject her. After all, why else had he not yet asked her out if not because he had lost all interest?

Victoire convinced herself multiple times on the way to the prefect's lounge that she was going to back out, that they would round as friends and she would go back to her dorm, and that would be it. But she kept hearing Brianna's voice in the back of her head, telling her she was being stupid and scared and that she needed to do this. Brianna was right. Victoire needed to do this.

When she arrived in the prefect's lounge, she found that she'd arrived before Joe, which didn't happen often. Grabbing the documents for middle rounds before they got claimed, Victoire started filling out their names as she waited for the Hufflepuff prefect.

He arrived just a tad late, which was uncharacteristic of him. When Victoire asked why he'd been late, he simply waved the question away, citing a homework assignment that he'd gotten carried away with. Victoire accepted his answer, not feeling the need to pry further, and the two headed out to begin their rounds.

They started with the fourth floor, as they were already on it, and then quickly moved down to the third. They had to kick a couple of stragglers out of the third year lounge and then continued on to the muggle studies wing. Joe was telling a funny story about something that had happened in transfiguration that day, and Victoire was laughing along with it. But as the story came to an end and the conversation fell silent, Victoire started to get nervous.

This was her chance. Before Joe started a new story, Victoire had to jump in. Victoire's legs started to feel unstable and she felt her stomach doing flip-flops with her dinner. She opened her mouth to speak, but before she could, Joe stepped out in front of her and blocked her, stopping her in her path.

"Victoire I need to say something," Joe declared suddenly.

Completely blind sighted and quickly forcing herself to process the current situation, Victoire nodded mutely.

"I wasn't late to rounds because I was working on an assignment," Joe confessed. "I was late because I was trying to decide whether or not I was going to say anything. I've been debating with myself for a while now whether I was going to do this or not, and I'm honestly still not sure about it."

"Sure about what?" Victoire frowned, not sure what Joe was babbling about.

Joe took a deep breath. "I like you, Victoire. I don't think that's ever been a secret."

Victoire's heart leapt and she felt herself blushing. "No, it wasn't a secret," she confirmed.

Joe nodded and took a second deep breath. "I've tried doing this a few times, but you were always… unavailable."

Victoire appreciated the fact that Joe didn't mention Teddy explicitly. It made it easier to keep him far from her mind.

"Ever since I've found out you were single, I've been wanting to ask you out," Joe continued, causing Victoire's heartrate to speed up. "But I haven't, because I figured I should give you some space first."

"Thank you," Victoire heard herself saying. That Joe had been thoughtful like that made her feel warm and grateful.

"The thing is," Joe said. "I don't think I can wait any longer. So, Victoire. Would you do me the honor of accompanying me to this month's Hogsmeade trip?"

Victoire couldn't help the smile that spread over her face as she answered. "Yes, I'd love to," she replied.

Joe smiled too, returning to Victoire's side so that they could continue their rounds. And after a few paces, when Joe's hand reached out tentatively towards Victoire's, she entwined her fingers with his, enjoying the feeling of holding someone else's hand again.

VvVvVvVvVvV

The morning of the Hogsmeade trip, Victoire was a bundle of nerves. In the days leading up to it, she'd thought about cancelling on Joe many times. But she always changed her mind back, reminding herself that it was healthy what she was doing now.

As a favor to Victoire, Kara and Jonathon had agreed to double-date with her and Joe. It made Victoire feel a little better, knowing that it wouldn't be just the two of them alone, and that she'd have her friend there as back up in case she needed it.

Mostly though, Victoire was excited. She'd never been out on a date with anyone but Teddy, and the thought of going out with Joe was thrilling.

There wasn't much to do that morning to get ready, as she'd picked out her outfit the night before, as well as washed and straightened her hair. Victoire arrived in the Great Hall much earlier than usual, helping herself to some breakfast with Kara, Brianna, and Jonathon while she waited for Joe to arrive to pick her up.

When he did finally appear by her side, her heart fluttered when he held out a hand, all gentlemanly-like. Tentatively, she reached out and took it, getting up from her seat in the process, and looking at Joe nervously and a little shyly.

"Good morning," she said, unsure what was usually said on a first date.

"Good morning," Joe replied. "Are you ready to go?"

"Yes," Victoire responded. She glanced at Kara and Jonathon. "Are you guys ready?"

Kara nodded and Jonathon stuffed a whole sausage into his mouth, which apparently his way of saying yes. Brianna pouted as the four of them left, claiming that they were ditching her. Victoire pointed out that it wasn't really ditching since she hadn't wanted to come with them, and Brianna nodded, claiming that she was instead going to seek out Stanley Towler and see if he wanted to hang out while the rest of the castle was mostly out for the day.

The walk to the village started out a little uncomfortably. Victoire found it difficult at first to make conversation, and the four spent a great deal of the first twenty minutes in relative silence. But at some point, Joe and Jonathon had started talking about something that only boys could relate to, since Victoire had no idea what they were saying, and she and Kara had struck up a conversation debating whether Brianna would convince Stanley to sleep with her that afternoon.

When they arrived in the village, they started with some of the basic shops and then headed to the Three Broomsticks for lunch when they became hungry. Kara and Victoire claimed a table for four while Joe and Jonathon headed up to the bar to place their orders.

The boys returned with four butterbeers and they all settled in to wait for their food.

"So, what else do you guys want to do before heading back?" Jonathon asked, mainly focusing his question on Kara and Victoire.

"I definitely want to stop by Honeydukes," Kara said immediately. "I don't have nearly enough chocolate left in my trunk."

"And I need to stop by the apothecary," Victoire added. "I'm getting rather low on a few items."

"Can't you just take supplies from the storeroom?" Joe wondered.

Victoire nodded. "Technically yes, but only when we're brewing in class or for the exams. When I practice brewing my potions in the after-hours potions lab, I'm supposed to use my own."

"Yeah, but Professor Abbott-Longbottom would still let you borrow from her," Joe pointed out.

"True," Victoire agreed. "But I wouldn't want to take advantage."

Joe shrugged. "If you want to spend your money on potions ingredients instead of something fun, that's your choice. I want to go to Spintwitches."

"Alright, so Honeydukes, Spintwitches, and the apothecary," Jonathon surmised. "Anywhere else?"

"Victoire, did you want to stop in at Weasley's Wizard Wheezes?" Kara wondered.

"No," Victoire replied immediately. Kara frowned at the speed and sureness with which Victoire answered, but ignored it.

The truth was Victoire didn't want to go to her uncles' shop with Joe in tow. It would be too weird, especially since she wasn't sure whether they even knew she and Teddy had broken up. She certainly hadn't told anyone, though she didn't know about Teddy.

"Okay, so just those three then," Kara nodded.

Their food came, and the four enjoyed a pleasant meal as they gossiped about some of their classmates and shared funny stories. When they were finished, they stopped by the remaining three shops on their list and then made their way back to Hogwarts.

When they arrived in the Entrance Hall, Kara and Jonathon said their goodbyes to Joe and then headed for the Grand Staircase. Since they were headed back to Gryffindor Tower and Joe was headed to the Hufflepuff common room down in the basement, they had to part ways.

Victoire stayed behind, awkwardly hovering, unsure if she should follow Kara and Jonathon and say her goodbyes, or stick around a little longer. Joe didn't seem to be heading for the basement stairs quite yet, and she didn't want to disappear on him.

"I had a really great time today," Victoire told him honestly.

It had been different than being with Teddy. With Teddy, things had been so serious right from the start. With Joe, it was lighter. It wasn't better or worse, it was just different. With Joe, Victoire didn't feel that aching need to be with him all the time. She enjoyed her time with him. In a way, it was easier than being with Teddy. She didn't feel any of the weight she'd felt with her first boyfriend. Now she felt light as air.

"So did I," Joe replied, taking Victoire's hand. "We should do it again sometime."

"Definitely," Victoire said, her breath catching as Joe took a step closer, invading into her personal space.

She knew it was coming before it happened. She thought about stopping it, really considered it. But she couldn't bring herself to do it. She wanted this as much as he did, maybe even more.

When their lips met, it was just a soft touch, innocent but meaningful. Joe pulled back after a few seconds and Victoire found herself smiling like a fool.

"I'll see you tomorrow, I guess," Victoire said airily.

"Yeah," Joe replied. "See you tomorrow."

They parted ways, and Victoire practically floated up to the seventh floor.

She'd never kissed anyone other than Teddy before. She'd thought it would be weird. She'd thought it would be uncomfortable. But it wasn't any of those things. It was nice. It was gentle. It was something she wanted to do again.

When she arrived in her dormitory, it was to find both Kara and Brianna waiting for her.

"So?" Brianna asked immediately. "How was it?"

"Maybe I should be asking you that question," Victoire retorted. "How was your afternoon with Stanley?"

"Nothing we hadn't done before," Brianna shrugged. "Though I can't say the same for you. So tell me. How was it?"

"It was nice," Victoire replied. "We went to a few shops, had some lunch – "

"Kara already told me all of that," Brianna interrupted. "I want to know what happened after Kara left."

Victoire felt herself blushing. "That's none of your business," she insisted.

"You made out, right?" Brianna insisted. "Tell me you at least made out."

"We shared a kiss," Victoire informed her. "And it was very nice."

"That's it?" Brianna sounded unimpressed. "One kiss?"

"Leave Victoire alone," Kara insisted. "She can move at whatever speed she wants."

Brianna harrumphed, but let the subject go.

As Victoire gathered her things to do some work on her most recent herbology assignment, she found her thoughts continually flitting back to Joe. It was weird, experiencing these feelings for someone that wasn't Teddy. For the longest time, Victoire had thought that Teddy was her forever. Now she knew better. She didn't know if Joe would be her forever. Maybe there would be a whole string of guys before she found her forever. But for now, Victoire was happy, truly happy, for the first time in a long time.