"Back then all you had were nightmares about the future, right?" Dean asked him, eyeing the now bent spoon. "You had telekinesis before too?"
"How do you think I used to exorcise demons?" Sam asked back. "Wasn't just making them see bad things and forcing them out like that."
A corner of Deans lips twitched upward in a semi smile and he drank deeply once more. His face suddenly turned a bit serious. "Can I ask you something?"
"Yeah, shoot." Sam said, not sure how to feel about the sudden look.
"Why did you do it?" he asked, and Sam felt the familiar knot growing tighter in his stomach. "Drinking demon blood, exorcising demons with your mind, why?"
Sam felt the same old guilt and disgust course through him, despite how his mouth dried at the memories drinking demon blood. He drank from his beer instead.
"Wanted to save you." he said softly. "It was...it was Ruby's idea back then. That I couldn't save you from your deal I had to save you a different way. All I knew was that you were down in hell surrounded by demons and I could learn how to kill them with my mind."
He took a deep breath. "I wanted to storm into hell, kill any demon that got in my way, and find you again. Find a way to get you out there." he shrugged. "Angels kinda beat me to the fight though."
For a moment Dean couldn't speak, his knuckles were white as he tightly gripped his own bottle. "Sammy." he whispered.
"You told me to live a normal life but how the hell could I do that?" Sam asked him back, running his fingers through his hair. "How could I live a normal life when I knew that you were burning in hell because of me."
"I choose it." Dean said, his voice heavy.
"Yeah and I refused to accept it." Sam told him, finally looking up at his brother. "I needed to get you out and I was willing to do anything that I needed to."
Dean visibly swallowed and took a deep breath, unable to look Sam in the eye as he took a moment to collect himself. Sam let him have his moment, staring at the table instead.
"When I was a demon," Dean suddenly said. "I was close to making you drink my blood to make you an addict again."
Sam blinked and looked up at him. "What?"
"I...he...demon me, wanted to hurt you in the worst way that he could." Dean said, struggling to find the right pronouns for this. "It wasn't enough to just take a hammer and beat your head in, he wanted to hit you right where it counted."
Dean took another deep breath. "So the plan had been...when you had the demon killing knife at my throat and didn't use it. I was going to take it, pin you to the wall or the ground, make a cut on my arm, and force you to drink it."
Sam tried to stop his mind from painting the picture his brother was making, already knowing how that was going to end. "It wouldn't have worked in your favor."
Dean blinked and looked up at him in slight confusion. "What do you mean?"
"Drinking demon blood made me be able to control the demon, pinning them in place, wrapping my hand around their soul and squeezing it tightly." Sam told him. "I was able to kill Lilith and Samhain, and even though you were a knight of hell, you weren't above Lilith."
Dean looked torn for a moment, a mixture of pride and some other emotion passing over his face. His eyes narrowed and he straightened in his seat. "No you wouldn't have." he said. "I was all badass and powerful as a demon, you'd never overpower me."
Were they really arguing about this now, a corner of Sams mind couldn't help but think. But he also straightened up as well. "Badass and powerful or not, I was strong enough myself to kill some of the highest leveled demons, a knight would have meant nothing to me."
Dean scoffed at him, shaking his head. "I would've made you my bitch, you would've gotten addicted to my blood and therefore I control you."
"Or the power boost I got from your blood would let me pin you down, drink you almost dry, then drag your sorry ass back to the dungeon and chained up and cure you back to being a human." Sam shot back at him.
Dean scowled at him. "No, you'd be so damn obsessed with getting as much blood from me that I could use that to control you."
"Even under Famine I had some sort of control over myself. I could control myself even if it was your blood." Sam said rolling his eyes. "Why are we talking about this?"
"Hell if I know, just goes to show how screwed up everything else is that we are." Dean said with a shrug of his own. "Just remember, I would've owned your ass."
Sam just gave him an unamused look, eyes going to the bent spoon on the table and with a thought, lifting it and letting it lightly hit the side of Dean's head. "Whatever makes you feel better Dean."
I do not own Supernatural.
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I know nothing really happened in the last two chapters but I enjoyed the brother banter a bit too much to stop. Story will start to pick up again next chapter.