Chapter 4: In Hot Water
It only took one look at his numbskulls for Kakashi to glean everything he needed to know.
Two days after the fiasco at Madara's villa, Naruto and Sasuke's faces were still swollen and bruised.
Usually, Sakura was militant about her team's health and well-being. And if that meant she had to corner her erstwhile sensei at his favorite adult bookstore so he'd complete his quarterly physicals, or make house calls to the Uchiha compound for Sasuke's eye appointments, or brave Naruto's apartment to replace all of the instant ramen in his cabinets with the marginally healthier low-sodium variety… so be it.
She worked tirelessly to ensure that her teammates were in peak physical form at all times.
The entire village knew how close knit Team 7 was, despite the fact that they were all jounin now and fully grown. And all three of Sakura's boys greedily basked in her tender loving care and affection.
It wasn't unusual to see her with her blond brother at Yamanaka Hana patiently helping him pick flowers for his beloved Hinata-chan; or endlessly fussing over her outwardly irritated (but inwardly chuffed) boyfriend whenever her team returned home from a mission without her. It was just as common to see Sakura out in the marketplace stocking up on her former sensei's favorite foods so he had easy access to healthy pre-made meals at home.
"Oh, you know Kaka-sensei. If I don't keep his refrigerator stocked, he's probably just going to pop a few soldier pills and call it a day since he's too lazy to cook for himself these days."
She wasn't called Konoha's Sweetheart for nothing.
Which is why Naruto and Sasuke's fucked up faces could only mean the following:
(1) They pissed Sakura off (badly) and,
(2) Whatever they did must have been absurdly stupid since Kurama wasn't inclined to help with Naruto's healing, either.
Despite Kakashi's constant tardiness and lackadaisical disposition, nobody could deny that the man was an elite among prodigies. He was whip smart, and over the years, he also learned to value his life.
Which is why there was no way in hell he was getting in the middle of this. He simply cut their training short that day, in light of the boys' injuries.
As he headed home to feed his ninken and enjoy a wonderful pre-made meal of salt-broiled saury and eggplant miso soup (courtesy of his favorite student) - he overheard Shisui suggest a form of recuperation to his two subordinates.
Casually spinning a kunai with his index finger, the older Uchiha quipped,
"Sakura-chan must have gotten you good if your faces are still fucked up. We should go to the onsen... it could really help with your injuries."
Naruto's eyes lit up like strobe lights. "That's a GREAT idea, Shisui-nii! My back is killing me after she threw us out that window!"
Sasuke scoffed. As if he had time to waste at the village onsen with these fools. He turned on his heels, intent on hauling himself home to stew over his current predicament, when Naruto jerked his collar back.
"C'mon Teme, don't be such a prick! Everything hurts right now and I need to relax!"
Sasuke whipped around and snapped, "And whose fault is that?! Who went on and on about painting and got us into this mess in the first place?!"
He ripped Naruto's hand away and huffed. "Besides, why do I have to go? I don't have time for this. I need to figure out how to fix shit with Sakura."
"BUT TEMEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
"Forget it. Don't you remember what happened last time?!"
Sasuke shuddered thinking about the last time he, the idiot and Kakashi went to the village onsen.
All it took was one kunoichi with mediocre sensory skills to ascertain their presence, and suddenly Konoha's entire fangirl populace was informed that the sexy men of Team 7 were at the bathhouse that day.
Kakashi had a dedicated club of rabid fangirls that stalked him for years, as did Sasuke. And Naruto amassed his own cabal of obsessive admirers following his heroic feats during the Akatsuki's attack.
Sasuke's neck was killing him, his face was still swollen, and he was up shits creek with Sakura.
The last thing he needed was to get harassed at the onsen by a group of thirsty, grabby, unhinged fangirls feverishly hoping to catch a glimpse of him in some state of undress.
"We'll mask our chakra then! I really need to go and you have to come with!"
Sasuke pinched the bridge of his nose.
What had he done in his past life to get saddled with such a clingy best friend? He knew he'd never get a moment's peace until Naruto got his way. Sasuke seriously wondered how Hyuuga put up with his ridiculous neediness.
After another fifteen minutes of relentless whining, Sasuke finally acquiesced.
Grudgingly, he allowed himself to be dragged to the Falling Leaves Onsen, cursing his teammate and older cousin seven ways to hell along the way.
All three masked their chakra to avoid drawing any unwanted attention before heading to the men's locker room. As Sasuke changed out of his training clothes and started his pre-bathing shower, his thoughts wandered to the last time he'd taken a bath.
Of course, it was with his girlfriend in the privacy of her apartment the night before he left for his last mission.
He recalled how Sakura treated him to a seductive striptease, gathered her long hair into a loose pile on top of her head… and joined him in the shower.
After washing his hair and scrubbing his body down for him, she left him with a straining erection and drew him a bath in the adjacent tub.
When the water was ready, she gestured for him to get in and promptly settled herself between his legs.
Sasuke would never forget the predatory glint in her eyes, and the irresistible flush of her cheeks.
He remembered how the steam in the bathroom left a thin sheen of dew on her face and upper body, how errant wisps of her pastel hair laid slick on the side of her neck, while droplets of water slowly trickled down between the valley of the round, buoyant breasts that she encased around his –
Shit.
He turned the shower knob sharply to the left to draw cold water from the spray. He couldn't deal with a hard on right now, not when he was in the company of the two most obnoxious douchebags in the village.
It had been nearly three weeks since he enjoyed that last, passionate night with Sakura... and he missed her terribly.
And it wasn't just the sex either. He missed her stories, her sharp wit, her cheeky and irreverent sense of humor, her brilliant smiles, just… everything.
He wanted to feel the gentle weight of her body against his own; he wanted to lose himself in her eyes and be lulled to sleep by the sound of her voice...
And most of all - he wanted to revel in her exclusive company, without the hassle of others trying to vie for her attention.
Like that petulant asshole, Madara.
Just the thought of him was enough to make Sasuke's sharingan activate. He was still furious with the elderly menace, and outraged over his emasculating insults from the previous day. Still, he tried his best to view the situation as rationally as he could from Sakura's perspective.
As far as he knew, his girlfriend wasn't aware of the exchange he had with that geriatric dickhead.
All she knew was that her teammates inexplicably attacked her patient in his own home with their chakras masked while she was just doing her job.
Sasuke grit his teeth as he shivered under the icy spray. He knew how bad it looked, and why Sakura was so upset. He needed to apologize to her – sincerely, and without further delay.
He finished his cold shower and prepared to enter the men's side of the onsen. As he considered when the best time would be to visit her apartment, he noticed his degenerate cousin and dimwit best friend shoving each other by the entrance to the mixed gender hot spring.
"No, Shisui-nii! Hinata-chan would get so mad!"
"C'mon, Naruto-kun. Don't be such a pussy. It's for medical reasons, what's the big deal?"
"But why would the mixed bath be better for my back than the men's-only bath?"
Shisui scowled. For as daft as their loveable jinchuuriki could be, he had these random moments of acuity that seemed to strike at the most inconvenient times.
Sasuke rolled his eyes. That pervert Shisui didn't give two shits about their injuries. He just wanted to sit in the mixed onsen with a bunch of naked women.
The younger Uchiha gripped his teammate by the back of his neck and dragged him over to the entrance of the men's-only side. "Forget Hinata. You really want to risk Sakura finding out?"
Naruto visibly paled as his blue eyes widened in fear. "Say no more!"
Sasuke shot his cousin a look of disgust and followed his best friend into the men's-only onsen pool. Shisui heaved a defeated sigh, and dragged his feet behind them.
"So, chibi grouch. What did Oba-chan have to say about that shiner, hmm?"
Sasuke glared before crouching deeper into the water. "Nothing."
Which was strange. When he returned home yesterday after that epic shitshow at Madara's villa, he expected a proper lashing out from his parents… but got nothing.
His mother hadn't even mentioned the condition of his face, which was bizarre in and of itself.
In fact, it was Itachi who came by his room later that night with an ice pack, asking if he wished to speak about it.
Sasuke shook his head, and that was that.
Weird…
But whatever. He decided not to overthink it, and just be grateful that he wasn't in more trouble with his parents for the damage they caused to Madara's home.
Plus, he had more important things to deal with right now. Like figuring out how to make things right with his girlfriend.
Thankfully, Shisui didn't ask any more asinine questions and just laid his head back on the rocks, taking leisurely sips of sake every so often.
Even Naruto was uncharacteristically quiet. He closed his eyes in relief as the heat from the water seeped into his skin and warmed his injured muscles. Sasuke couldn't deny that the hot water really was effective in soothing the ache in his own neck and shoulders, but he wasn't going to admit that in front of these goons.
The silence of the men's side of the onsen was shaken by light giggling coming from the other side of the bamboo divider where the mixed bathing pool was located.
Sasuke sat up in an instant. He knew that giggle like the back of his hand, and strained his ears to listen more closely to whatever was going on behind that divider.
"Mmmm… Haru, how is that?"
"That's perfect Madara-sama, just like that. How does it feel?"
"So very good, my heart… So sooooo good."
Shaken by the sound of Sakura's all too familiar voice, Naruto and Shisui bolted upright as well. The former's whiskered cheeks flared with indignation, while the latter cupped a hand over his mouth to stifle his giggling.
"Actually, Madara-sama… can we stretch it out a little wider? Yes, that's it. Wider… Mmm, wider… just like that."
"Should I go deeper, Haru? Like this?"
"Yes, Madara-sama. Deeper, please... go as deep as you can."
The entire exchange had Sasuke seeing RED, and his barely contained composure cracked.
A FEW HOURS LATER...
"Really, Mikoto. Are you sure about this? These incidents are getting more costly and outrageous by the day!"
Fugaku's wife affectionately rolled her eyes behind his back as she helped him out of his haori and handed him a clean set of pajamas.
"Trust me. It is best to leave this be and let it run its course."
Fugaku pursed his lips in irritation. First they had to pay to repair the damage to Madara's villa, and now this?
He was the Chief of Police, for fuck's sake. It was humiliating to get flagged down at the end of the day, only to learn that his idiot younger son had ambushed the mixed bathing facilities at the village onsen, terrified the other patrons, destroyed the bamboo divider between bathing pools, decimated the entrance side walls to the locker rooms and flooded the place -
All to disrupt a routine hydro-therapy session little Haruno was conducting for Madara.
Sensing her husband's lingering reservations, Mikoto placed both hands on his chest and looked up at him reassuringly.
"Don't be such a worry wort, Fugaku. After all, when have I ever led you astray?"
The typically austere Chief sighed in resignation and cupped his large hands over her own.
Because frankly, she wasn't wrong.
After twenty five years of marriage, Fugaku could categorically say this:
When he listened to his soft spoken, lethal, beautiful and cunning wife… things had a tendency to go well.
And when he didn't - things had a way of devolving into deep shit.
Like the time Mikoto had urged him to "…have faith in Itachi. He may be a child, but he is wise beyond his years. He is our son, and if he says he can right the discrimination of our clan without bloodshed, then I will trust in his judgment… and so should you."
And she was right. While certain factions of their clan were urging him to take a more aggressive stance at the time – he and his wife stood firmly behind their heir.
Of course, Fugaku never imagined that twelve year old Itachi would have the unwavering support of his ANBU captain.
But he did. And Team Ro brought Danzo's treacherous plans to steal his nephew's eyes, and alienate the Uchiha from the village through false accusations to light.
The Sandaime's objective assessment of all the evidence Team Ro uncovered resulted in Danzo's execution. Sarutobi Hiruzen's swift and transparent handling of the matter restored the clan's faith in the office of the Hokage and improved their relations with the rest of the village; bonds that became strained during the Nidaime's tenure.
Fugaku didn't even want to think about what could have happened if he hadn't listened to his wife.
And of course, there was also the time when the elders balked at the Uzumaki brat spending so much time at the main house when Sasuke was still in the Academy.
The clan council claimed that Naruto's presence in the compound and his close friendship with Sasuke would subject the clan to suspicion, especially after Danzo and his disbanded guerilla forces tried to falsely pin the Kyuubi's attack on the Uchiha.
To this day, he remembered Mikoto's clear and unequivocal resolve.
"That is nonsense. Danzo and his illegal faction have been exposed. The entire village knows that he is, and will die, a criminal. His attempts to defame our clan bears no weight.
Naruto is just a child. It is foolish to allow the ingrained prejudices of a few to dictate who Sasuke can and cannot be friends with. Sasuke needs this, too. He is too withdrawn, and clings only to Itachi. This bond will be good for him. Naruto can be the yin to his yang.
Kushina was my dear friend… and the last thing she said to me was that she hoped the boys would be close. I owe it to her to make sure her baby grows up feeling accepted and loved. I will not stand in the way of Naruto and Sasuke's friendship, and neither should you."
And that was that.
Of course, as with everything, Mikoto was right. The boys grew up training together, growing stronger together. And Team 7 became an unstoppable force in recent years.
It was said that the last time the Kyuubi was seen wearing the Susanoo's coat of armor in battle was in Madara's day. Nobody knew exactly why the Nine Tails was willing to coordinate its tailed beast chakra with the Mangekyou Sharingan of his youngest son…
But the Godaime and her advisors, including his own heir – seemed to chalk it up to Sasuke's close friendship with Naruto.
Again, Fugaku shuddered to think of what could have happened during the Akatsuki's invasion, had his youngest son and their jinchuuriki not shared this close bond.
So suffice it to say, the patriarch knew not to underestimate his shrewd wife or dismiss her sage counsel.
Still, the Chief couldn't help but think that there was an easier way to resolve all of this.
Because he and Mikoto both knew full well what this was really all about.
After following his wife to their futons and tucking her securely into the comforter, he settled himself into the blankets beside her but couldn't stop thinking about his youngest. He ran a callused hand tiredly over his face, wondering why the hell they hadn't just pushed for a straightforward omiai in the first place.
Sasuke couldn't sleep.
He sat up in bed and ran both hands through his hair in frustration, wishing he could scream at the top of his lungs.
He couldn't get over his own senseless behavior, or the image of his confused and disheartened girlfriend gaping at him earlier that week at the onsen.
Of course, being the total shitheads they were, Naruto and Shisui fled the scene as soon as they saw what was what... leaving him to bear the full brunt of Sakura's wrath alone.
Suffice it to say, he'd fucked up.
Big time.
Again.
When Sasuke mindlessly ripped through that bamboo divider, he ended up cannonballing into the mixed bathing pool...
Only to find Sakura and Auntie Hitomi wearing identical, modest, one piece bathing suits… along with Madara, dressed in swimming trunks.
The geezer was apparently doing physical therapy exercises in warm water to help alleviate his leg pain and improve his overall mobility and range of motion.
Sasuke was, of course, butt naked and clutching onto nothing but a small white towel to cover up his… bits.
And Sakura was PISSED.
But even worse, she was disappointed in him.
His insides curdled just thinking about their exchange.
"Sasuke-kun… WHAT ON EARTH were you thinking?!"
"Why is Oba-san here."
"Wha… – WHAT? What does that have to do with anything?! Why else would she be here?! Hitomi-san needs to observe so she can assist Madara-sama with these exercises when he's at home."
"Why did you mask your chakra."
"Because you're the one who warned me to always mask when I'm at the onsen so perverts and peepers wouldn't know I was here! Isn't that why you masked, too?"
"Hn."
"Sasuke-kun, that's… that's NOT a real word. I don't know what's gotten into you lately, but I am so SO very disappointed in you. Just look at what you've done!"
FUCK. IT. ALL.
Why was it so hard for him to think rationally whenever Sakura was concerned?
He overheard her conversation with Madara on the other side of that bamboo divider, and stupidly assumed they were naked in the onsen together doing… unspeakable things, and just blanked.
It was like a switch had flipped in his head, and Sasuke tried to understand why and how he'd lost his shit so badly.
And while he hadn't seen a trace of his girlfriend since that latest debacle, he did overhear snippets of gossip around the compound about how she and Madara had taken walks together in the marketplace; how he'd been dancing with her in his private gardens; and how he'd taken to writing poetry for her, of all things.
What the actual fuck. Why couldn't anyone see how ridiculous this was?!
He couldn't find a single person who was being sensible about any of this.
Even his own mother… She and Auntie Hitomi couldn't stop babbling about how 'wonderful' it was that Madara was getting out of the house; how the fresh air and Sakura's company seemed to 'soften' his sharp edges; how patient and affectionate he was as he explained the art of the tea ceremony to his precious medic; how he was so much more amenable and compliant when Sakura was caring for him…
In fact, everyone in the compound who'd ever interacted with Madara was shellshocked by how different he was in Sakura's presence.
Madara-sama seemed happy for once. He wasn't the cantankerous, snappish and verbally abusive pill he was so notorious for being.
He seemed more coherent than he'd been in decades, and was just so much more… alive.
Whatever.
Sasuke didn't care about any of that. The thought of them spending that kind of time together made him want to gouge his eyes out. He needed to pull himself together and THINK.
Tomorrow was White Day, and the day his gift would be delivered to Sakura's office at the hospital.
Sasuke ordered a snow white silk and lace teddy from his girlfriend's favorite lingerie store in the village.
At least, he hoped it was her favorite. His razor sharp vision had noticed, on more than one occasion, that most of her underclothing had the same discreet little gold tag from an exclusive boutique in the civilian district.
The piece was admittedly tiny, and left little to the imagination – but was still tasteful, and constructed with a beautiful, imported lace that he thought Sakura would like.
He hoped it wasn't too forward of him. He figured the teddy wasn't all that dissimilar to the tantalizing pieces she'd worn for him in the past, so he hoped she'd be happy with this one, too.
He paid the boutique a premium for morning delivery, so he planned on heading over to the hospital just before lunch time to personally wish Sakura a happy White Day.
He would apologize profusely for his stupidity over the past week, and hoped that she would accept his words of remorse and tell him all was forgiven.
Then, maybe… she'd be open to having steamy make-up sex with him in her office?
Hopefully?
Sasuke shook his head. He was getting ahead of himself. First things first – he had to apologize, and try to come up with some not insane explanation for his nutass behavior as of late.
He exhaled a heavy sigh, and hoped this plan would finally set things right.
A/N: Hello everyone! First of all, what a trying week this has been. I sincerely hope everyone and their loved ones are safe and healthy during these difficult times. I also wanted to take a moment to thank everyone who took the time to leave feedback on the last chapter. I can't tell you how encouraged I was to hear from beloved regular readers, and many wonderful new folks and Guests alike! The increase in feedback was such a huge motivator for me, and I tried to complete the rewrite for this latest chapter as soon as I could. Thank you for considering my last author's note, and responding in kind. I appreciate your engagement more than words can express. As always, please let me know if you enjoyed this latest Ch 4!