I found, to my extraordinary joy, a lovely medieval cemetery just a ten-minute walk from our college. My interest in such places only developed after I moved to Europe; specifically, after one trip to Paris. While Margot and Josh went to sample different cafes, I took the tram to the world-famous Cimetière du Père Lachaise. I'd never been to a place like that before and am convinced that no words in the English language can do it justice. But I will try.

Imagine entering a forest, surrounded by green as far as the eye could see. And yet, all in between the trees were these countless old grey-stone graves. Literally thousands- you couldn't walk without stepping on someone's tombstone. Graves piling over each other; some pushing so hard that the victim of the assault was crumbling and cracking. Echoless, soundless; just like being in a dense forest. I was twenty-one at the time and looking back, I cringe at my blatantly naïve actions. I went to the graveyard alone, which was a very risky thing for a still innocent girl like me to do in downtown Paris. Luckily for me, nothing happened- but I definitely wouldn't recommend going alone until at least the age of twenty-four.

Since I was by myself, I just wandered aimlessly; examining the odd unique gravestone I came across. I saw Edith Piaf and Oscar Wilde's graves, which did have some other people around them. But it was the whole experience that really captivated me. Some places had nothing but graves; I was the only living person. The only living person…. I sat myself down on the edge of a tomb near the south end of the cemetery; disrespectful, I know. While sitting there, lost in my thoughts, a squawk made me jump. Looking over to my right, I was a little delighted to find not one but two ravens perched near me. A sad smile crossed over my face.

"Hello there." No reply; I guess they weren't the same ravens from The Raven. Still, it was nice to have the company. "Well, I suppose I'm not the only one alive around here," I said, not expecting any sort of response. For some reason, saying that out loud made me think- it made me think of Mom. Mom…. She had more in common with everyone here than me right now. I twirled a little leaf I plucked from a flower, gazing down at the ground with low eyes. After all, I'm alive… but I won't always be. Everyone here was alive at some point; that's how the world works….. My lower lip started to quiver. That's how it is, isn't it? I can't change the fact…. I can't do anything for her now; she's like everyone else here.

Before I realized what was happening, tears began to fall from my eyes as I continued to stare off into nowhere. One of the raven's squawked at me, to which I ignored. I just sat there on that grave, crying- silently, uncontrollably crying. And I stayed like that for two hours. Ironically, after that date, I utterly adored graveyards. I went there whenever I wanted to think of her… be close to her. It may sound morbid but it's true- that brought me so much joy and comfort.

I sat with Kitty on the left side of the table while Margot and Josh shared the other end. Daddy was at the head the table, trying to carve up this roast he tried to make for dinner. Kitty kept laughing and Daddy repeated that the meat would be tender all this black; uh huh. The conversation was stuck on Margot's future in Paris, which we were all excited for her. "I can't believe you're going to be living in Paris! I've never been to Paris!" Kitty exclaimed loudly. Margot gave her usual calm grin. "It'll be different; that's for sure." "Don't worry, Margot; you can always come visit if you want a familiar taste of Scotland," I smiled. "Or we'll come visit you," Josh added. "I love Paris; so does Aerity." "I do indeed."

Margot smirked at me. "You like Versailles and that creepy graveyard." "Who wouldn't like Versailles? And Père Lachaise isn't creepy; it's magical." "We'll go to all those places when we come over," Josh proclaimed happily. "I've already booked a ticket for the end of October." I was thrilled to hear this; Josh was already thinking of going to visit my beloved older sister. She's so lucky to have him. But my chest began to tighten when I saw the look on Margot's face. Why isn't she smiling? Isn't she happy to hear that Josh- her boyfriend of two years- was coming to Paris to see her? Wasn't she thrilled? Confusion went to downright horror when next she spoke. "Have you already… paid for the flight?"

Oh god, a frown sprung forth on both Josh's and my lips. No Margot, my stomach felt like it was going to drop out of me and onto the floor. Don't do this; don't hurt him like this. Not Josh…. Not him. "Uh, erm yeah," Josh sounded completely dumbstruck; his expression proved it. "I googled flights the moment you said you applied for PhD there." Margot, I hopelessly gazed up at my sister. "Why?" His poor voice quivered all over itself. Margot!

I closed my eyes the moment she cleared her throat; I closed my eyes…. I couldn't bear to see the look of absolute heart break on Josh's face, in his deep eyes. Thankfully, no one said anything. Kitty was doing something; I don't know, I couldn't see. I heard Daddy sigh and what seemed to be like him resting his head in his hands. Margot's breathing deepened. And Josh…. My best friend; the one who lived with me at the same college all throughout university, the one who walked with me to class every day, the one who desperately loved my sister…. I couldn't open my eyes; I refused to open them.

"Can we talk about this outside?" Margot stood up and left the table, immediately followed by Josh. It wasn't until they were out of the room that my eyes reopened, and I looked to see the devastated rest of my family. I also got up and took hold of Kitty's hand. She blinked up to me puzzled. "Come on," I tucked her gently out of her chair. "Let's give them some privacy." "Aerity," Kitty didn't seem to like the sound of that. But I didn't care; I loved both of them too much to watch. "Thanks for dinner, Daddy," I managed to get out before dragging my little nineteen-year-old sister out of the room.

We sat in the living room, watching reruns of Boy Meets World for what felt like hours. The whole time I did my best to get the look of Josh's destroyed expression out of my head. I know it may sound like I'm siding with Josh on the matter- which is against some sister code- but I knew how much they loved each other. Why Margot would do such a thing is beyond me; it seemed downright heartless to me at the moment. But I wasn't angry at Margot; knowing her, she had her reasons, whether if I agreed with them or not. I respected her decision, even if it tore my best friend's heart in half. That didn't mean I couldn't feel horrible for him however. I did…. oh god, I did.

We were on the episode called "And Then There Was Shawn" when the front door finally opened. Kitty and I looked at each other, not sure what to do right then. I half expected Margot to come running in to us, but she didn't. Instead, we heard her race up the stairs and slam her bedroom door shut. I sighed and shut off the tv. "Alright, you deal with Margot; I'm going to go check on Josh," I instructed Kitty. She nodded and went upstairs without a word. I waited until she was for-sure in Margot's room before heading to the front door.

I ran straight over to Josh's, feeling my heart start to beat faster by the second. I was about to knock on the door until, to my shock and alarm, I found Josh standing in the middle of his front yard. His back was facing me, though I could tell that he was petrified. "Josh?" Hesitantly, I took a step forward. It took him a minute to react, but he eventually turned to face me; boy, did he look a wreck. There were dark circles under his eyes, though he wasn't crying. He was super pale and looked like he might have a stress fever. Oh Josh, my own heart dropped at the sight of someone I loved so much in such a state. Josh… My hand rose up towards him without actually touching.

"Oh Josh, I'm so sorry." "We're over…. done," his eyes rolled into nowhere darkly, depressingly. "Josh….." "All those years….. no matter I love….. none of it matters, does it?" He physically began to shake. "I thought she was the one….. I wanted to…. Oh god, I love her; I love her….." "I know," I half-whispered. "How could she do this to me?" His head sadly shook. "I don't get it….. what did I do?" "Nothing!" My mouth blurted before I had a chance to stop it. "It's probably not your fault, Josh," I immediately went into damage control. "Margot… I-I'm sure she has a reason. But don't blame yourself; there's no point in that. Not now…." "Aerity," Josh's eyes returned to mine.

What happened next was both expected and totally unexpected. Opening up his arms, Josh suddenly came up to me; he tightly embraced me. The impact was so strong that we stumbled back a few steps. On top of that, the pressure was so heavy that we both collapsed onto our butts, landing on the grass. Once we were positioned as such, Josh finally found the nerve to break down. He wept and sobbed uncontrollably on my shoulder. I responded by wrapping my arms around him, pressing him close to me. And we stayed like that for I don't know how long.

Eventually Josh heaved, drawing in a few much-needed inhales. It was only then that he spoke in a very raspy tone. "Aerity….." "I know," I softly rubbed his back. "I know…." "I love her… I loved her so much….." "I know, Josh." "Margot," a new batch of tears covered my back. "Margot; Margot….." All I felt like I could in that moment was to continue holding him in the most comforting way I knew how. "It'll be ok," I cooed softly as his weeps permeated the air. "Everything will be ok."