I entered Margot's room with a brown paper bag in my hand. She was laying on her stomach on her bed; apparently Josh wasn't the only one who'd been crying. Back when we were teenagers, Margot bottled up all her negative emotions; she never cried in front of anyone. But four years of university with lots of psychology lectures on how that is the exact wrong thing to do, she slowly began to embrace her emotions as they came. After all, Margot was all about health- both physical and mental. She'd been up in her room for hours by the time I came in. Kitty had already gone to bed and Daddy was watching tv downstairs.
Margot looked at me as I shut the door behind myself. And then I turned to face her. "Hi," I greeted her sadly. "Hi," she whispered in return, not moving her position at all. "How's Josh?" "Pretty torn up," I came to sit myself down on Margot's bedside. "I held him for like a good hour outside his house while he cried on my shoulder." "Thank you for being there for him," she sighed. "He's lucky to have you." "Thanks," my eyes lowered a tad.
"And how about you? How are you holding up?" "Ugh," she peered up at the ceiling. "Horrible; this is sheer agony." "I brought you some ice cream." Margot didn't reply. "It's Ben and Jerry's Phish Food; your favorite." "Ben and Jerry's is like super expensive over here." "That doesn't matter. I thought you could use a pick-me-up." And she lightly smiled for the first time.
I set the bag down and turned to face her straight on with a serious expression. "I'm not mad," I began. "And I'm not going to ask why you did it; I know you must have your reasons. But please… let me comfort Josh. He's really in a bad place right now." "Of course!" Margot sat up. "Josh isn't my property; you don't have to stay away from him because we broke up. You have my blessing to keep your relationship with Josh, however it evolves." "Really?" "Yes. I broke up with him, remember? I have no right to say you can't be friends with him, or more." "Thanks, Margot," I reached over to take her hand, giving it a squeeze.
Margot grinned and then fell back onto her back, staring upwards; I spotted tears still in the corner of her eyes. "I'm so sad," she blurted as if speaking to no one in particular. "I know you are." "I have to get away, just for a little while; I have to leave….." "I understand." She sucked in a deep breath. "I'm going to stay with some friends in Vancouver for a while; after I submit my visa application." "That's a good idea. You love Vancouver and it'll give you two some breathing room. I think you both need it." "Will you take care of Josh for me?" She asked, rolling to her side. "You know him almost as well as me. And I trust you, Aerity." "Of course I'll watch over him," I brushed some stray hairs off her cheek. We smiled at each other before I pulled back and chuckled to myself.
"I have to tell you, Margot; I used to have the biggest crush on Josh." "You did?" "Yeah, back when we were in middle school. He was the first boy I ever liked… Heh, I even wrote a letter to him. Never sent it of course; I don't know what happened to it actually." "You wrote Josh a letter?" Margot repeated with slight amusement. "Yeah, and I was all embarrassed about it too in high school. You know, before I knew anything?" And she laughed. "You gotta know I still love him, Margot; but it's different now." "I know…" Her eyes scrolled down slightly.
Neither of us said anything right after this. Margot let out a pained sigh and re-buried her face into her pillow. I rubbed her back, not speaking until she did again. "Aerity, I'm so sad…" She finally gasped. "I know you are," my hand kept rubbing consolingly. "I feel so bad for Josh….. it's not his fault." "It's ok, Margot." "I love him…. I love him." "I know you do." "I love him," she breathed in. "But he's not mine." I didn't understand what she meant by that exactly, and it turns out that I wouldn't for some months to come- four exactly. I didn't understand, but I would… just as Margot did now, someday soon I would.