My eyes opened to see the morning sunlight seeping in from the sides of my curtains. My alarm clock had not gone off yet; it would in a few minutes or so. That trip to Brussels… I hadn't thought of it in a long time. Rolling to my side, I stared blankly at my pink wall; it used to be covered with posters in my teenage years- now it was bare. Huh, I wonder why I dreamed of that? It's been so long; we never talk about it anymore simply because I don't think of it. My eyes lowered softly as I remembered the events of last night. I swear I could still feel Josh's strong arms wrapped desperately around me. Maybe that's why; he did last night what I did to him back in Belgium. He ran to me for comfort, knowing full well I would give it. Josh…. My lips parted a little as I reminded myself to breathe. That's the way it's always been for us, hasn't it? We comfort and console each other, unconditionally….. Always unconditionally.

I hadn't seen Josh in three days. When he ignored the three texts I sent him, I chose to give him space. That was fine by me; I'd give him whatever he needed right now. If he needed to be alone, I didn't take it personally; Josh wouldn't want me to. Now that may sound the "too perfect" friend, but Josh and I had this understanding. Space between us was never taken to be personal. That came from constant communication and trust built up over years; things were different in high school- believe me.

While Josh took some time for himself, Kitty and I saw Margot off at the airport. She flew to Vancouver, only to return at the end of summer. Admittedly we were sad to see her go but we- or at least I- understood why. This city was full of memories surrounding her and Josh; not the best environment to get over someone. I didn't know it at the time, but this logic applied to Josh as well as Margot, though I wasn't the least surprised.

That night, Josh called me; he asked me to come over to his place, which I immediately complied. He initially apologized for ignoring me for three days. "It's ok, Josh," I grinned over at him as we sat on his front porch. "This is a really hard time for you; I know you're in pain." "Thanks for understanding," he didn't look me in the eye; just kept staring down at his clasped hands. This confused me a little, but I didn't think it important enough to address, and turns out I didn't have to. He drew in a long breath like he was trying to formulate the correct words in his head. "I think… I need to get away from here. Margot left; I think it's my turn."

This didn't surprise but still alarmed me to hear. First Margot left and now him? My best friend in the whole world? They'd both be gone for the summer? I instinctively bit my lower lip at the thought. That can't really happen, can it? Josh finally looked up at me, quickly analyzing my expression. "I'm sorry, Aerity; I'm so sorry. This has nothing to do with you." "J-Josh…." "It's just, it's so hard to be here right now. Everything reminds me of her when I'm trying to forget…." His gaze drifted off into nowhere again. "She told me to get over her in a healthy way." Classic Margot; caring for everyone, even when she breaks their hearts. "I think… to truly get over Margot, I have to spend some time with myself; get to know who I am, single….."

I didn't say anything; I really couldn't. What was I supposed to say to that? Losing both my sister and best friend in the same week; how could I respond in any way that wasn't negative? So I merely nodded my head and blinked away. This made Josh turn back to me with a slightly worried face, for some reason. "Aerity?" No reply. "Aerity, please understand….." My lips part a tiny bit. "I do….." "I have to get over her; I don't want the next girl I date to be a rebound. That wouldn't be fair to her," his eyes scrolled up to mine. "Whoever she is." And I silently turned to face my beautiful best friend; we just stared at each other for a minute before I softly, slowly nodded. "Ok, Josh," I said, though I couldn't hear the words coming out of my mouth. It was painful…. "Please do what's right for you." Too painful. "I'll support whatever you do." Josh looked like he was about to cry again, and I was already on the verge. His arm wrapped over my shoulder as he pulled me up to lean against him. We stayed like that, saying nothing. There was nothing else to say….

Kitty and I drove Josh to the bus station in the middle of downtown two days later. He had found a little place to stay by the sea… for a whole month. Kitty drove since I wasn't comfortable with driving on American roads yet; not after living in the UK for so long. We arrived at the station, Josh signed in, and we went to the bus corral. He set his backpack down and grinned over at us.

"Thanks for the ride." "No problem," Kitty flashed a sad smile. "Will you text when you've arrived safely?" I asked in a shaky voice. "Of course. You too have a good month, ok? Look after your sister for me, ok?" He playfully told Kitty, who responded with a nod. They hugged and she wiped a tear away. Then Josh awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck. "Uh, can I talk to Aerity alone for a moment?" Kitty blinked in surprise, moving her eyes between us. But eventually she smiled and went to the waiting area, waving one last good bye until she sat down. Josh waited until she was out of earshot before gazing down at me with the softest, most compassionate eyes.

"Aerity…." "Josh," I quietly replied. "This whole thing… I never expected…. I never thought I'd lose her." "Yeah, me either…" Josh waited a minute, taking his time. Fine by me; anything to keep him here longer. "I lost….. I lost Margot, but there's one person I know I won't lose; I can't lose. Aerity, you… you're my best friend; this'll be the longest we've ever been apart from each other. When Margot went off for that first year of university, I was ok because you were with me. You've always been there, always…"

My mouth remained shut as I looked up into his deep, lovely eyes. They were shining down at me, desperately. "Aerity, I lost Margot; I can't lose you too- not you. That would be too much… I still…" He nibbled his lower lip to keep it from quivering. "I still love Margot, so much, but you…. Can we still… be friends?" He sounded almost afraid to ask me this. I knew what he was referring to; that whole code "you can't be best friends with your sister's ex"- which isn't real, by the way. Instead of answering right away, I just stared at him- my beloved Josh. My hands rolled into fists as my red lips parted slightly, much in need of air. Josh… Josh…. Simply, perfectly Josh.

"Yes," I whispered without realizing it. "Oh yes." And the way he looked at me…. the way his eyes glistened…. That alone made the pain I was about to endure worth it; totally worth it. Josh didn't move for a second, then without words, he removed the black beaded bracelet on his wrist. He took my hand, placing them in it. Now, I knew these beads; Josh bought them back in Paris years ago- he wore them everywhere every day. He never let anyone else wear them, not even Margot. I was utterly dumbfounded as he wrapped my hand around them. And then he looked at me; he simply, effortlessly beheld me.

"J-Josh?" After a few moments, I finally came to, comprehending what he had just done. In response, he leaned forward to press his forehead against mine. His eyes gently shut as we stayed like that. "Keep you….." He eventually whispered. What is he…? "Please, let me keep you. I've lost so much already. Please be the one thing I never have to worry about losing. Be my constant…. Be the one thing in the world I can keep no matter what- my very best friend." Oh, I see, I recognized as tears formed in the corners of my eyes. Reassurance, he needs me to reassure him that I won't abandon him, leave him…..

The very concept made me throw my arms around Josh's neck, being careful to hold tight onto the bracelet. Josh seemed startled at first but quickly wrapped his arms around me, holding me closer. "I will never leave you, Josh," I said in the most assuring tone as possible. "You are my best friend; no matter what happens, I will always be here for you." Always.