I hadn't thought of Peter in years. Funny, he was all I could think about before I moved to Europe for the first time. It all happened so suddenly. Of course he'd pick Gen over me; he was her boyfriend after all. And since it was Gen who "dumped" me, he automatically had to do the same. This made perfect sense to me at the time; now, no matter how it hurt. Now I look back a cringe at all of our actions, including my own. I acted irrationally and short-sighted; however, as a seventeen-year-old, I didn't know any better. So I was petty and stupid- so stupid. And I suffered for it, missing and longing for Peter for three years.
I'm not sure when thoughts of Peter started to evaporate from my mind. It happened so gradually that I didn't notice. As Josh and I spent more time together and traveled all around the continent with Margot, I began to change- both internally and externally. In essence, I grew up. A lot of that happened when I was twenty-two, but I don't want to talk about that; it's too painful to even remember. After that was when I started to see Josh in a different light. Through everything he remained immovable at my side, from holding me during my many panic attacks to testifying to the police. Slowly, slowly Josh became my most intimate friend; my loyalist companion. Something Peter never was and never could be- not with Gen in the picture.
Chris, or Christine as her parents called her, met me at the mall two days after Josh had left. I was still a little bit in a funk, and she insisted on getting me out of the house. After much nagging and prodding, I relented, and she picked me up that afternoon. The mall- a place I had not been in almost a year; we didn't have a huge mall like this in Edinburgh. Arm-in-arm Chris and I made our way up and down the floors, drinking Jugo Juices along the way. Ok, I wasn't really a mall person and I still missed Margot and Josh like crazy, but I actually enjoyed this. I missed Chris and hanging out casually with her like this. She was the one thing Gen didn't get in the breakup.
"A year's too long. Why did you have to move so far me?" Chris playfully groaned, making me grin over at her. "Uh, school? Education? Top universities in the world?" "Yeah, yeah," her eyes rolled. "You have to admit the year did go by fast." "Well yeah, it kinda did. But it's so weird! It's only been a year but we're so different now." "Speak for yourself," I gave her a light nudge. "I'm serious! Last summer, we were with Josh and Margot like every day. I can't believe they're broken up now!" "Yeah," my eyes lowered softly. "Me either….." "They were so in love!" "I know… none of us saw it coming." Especially Josh.
I wasn't expecting the playful shove Chris suddenly gave me, breaking my train of thought. "But hey! At least he's "available" now," she winked. "What the…? What are you implying?" I sounded affronted. "You know…." "No, I don't; you've got to explain it to me." "Josh is free to date whoever he wants now." "Yes? He is," I raised an eyebrow. "So…." "So what?" "So when are you going to ask him out?" And again, I choked on the smoothie currently in my mouth. What was with people asking me these sorts of questions while I'm eating? I shot Chris a dumbfounded expression, to which she only smiled shrewdly.
"Me? Ask Josh out?" I managed to choke out. "Yeah? I mean you're in love with him, aren't you?" "Why do people keep saying that?! I love Josh as a friend; that's the only way I've loved him all these years." "Oh sure," just like Kitty, she didn't sound at all convinced. "Then why do you carry his bracelet everywhere?" The beads were currently safely tucked away inside my backpack. After living in Europe for so many years, I gave up trying to carry a purse and used a small, cute backpack instead. I frowned but didn't reply. I'm not sure myself what that meant- or I did know and wouldn't let myself analyze the situation- but those beads weren't going anywhere. They stayed with me; where I went, they went. That's just the way it was.
Chris opened her mouth but what she said next was not what I was anticipating; not in the slightest. She merely peered forward and frowned. "Ugh, what are they doing here?" "Who?" But I didn't have to ask; looking ahead of us down the hall I saw them- them. Two individuals I hadn't seen in many years. Gen and Peter were the closest they had been to me since graduation, and they didn't appear to have spotted us yet. Actually, they looked to be arguing about something; heh, quarreling in public- classy Gen. But then, without conscious realization, my eyes drifted over to him. Peter- my Peter, the Peter I loved so dearly back in high school. There he was; after all this time of wishing, longing….. there he was, right in front of me. A flood of memories swept over my mind, but one stood out predominately. Just one…. one brilliant scene between us… a long time ago.
Maybe I wasn't the best student in computer class; revise, I know I wasn't the best. And yet somehow, I managed to complete the course with a B+, somehow. Our teacher was this old man who spoke very quietly but with great authority. I was afraid of him, very much so; but that didn't keep me from mentally wandering off and doing my own thing during class. After he gave us instruction, we were supposed to go onto the computers and do the assigned work. I however, in my youthful indulgence, would spend the whole time writing short stories, fanfics, and poems. I read so much romance- or what I thought was romance- that I often felt inspired to write myself. Luckily for me, I was never caught either- not by the teacher anyways.
I had just finished a poem in Word; not that I could save it on the school computers. I never got too attached to my work here because I knew that the moment I logged off, it would be erased. And if I printed in class, the teacher- I very well can't remember his name- would know I hadn't been doing the assignment. On this particular day, I had been so concentrated on my ahem, work that I didn't hear the bell ring or Mr. Scary Man tell us to log off. Consequently, I was in such a hurry that not only did I not sufficiently close Word, but I forgot to logoff. I just grabbed my backpack and raced out of the room, formulating my way through the next class coming in.
My next class was gym- yippy. We had ten minutes to get ourselves changed and into the gymnasium. It was during those ten minutes in the changeroom that I came to the horrific realization that I didn't logoff. Now that wouldn't have been a problem if I had successfully closed my poem. But I hadn't….. and now whoever was sitting at my computer could read my private work. Looking back, this wasn't a problem at all; I only made it one thanks to my flawed teenage logic. My fifteen-year-old-self dashed out of the changeroom and down the empty hall, running all the way to the computer lab in nothing but my gym uniform.
I froze at the doorway, peering in to see who was at my assigned desktop. Imagine my utter horror to find the same guy that Gen and I saw in the cafeteria earlier. Him! Why him of all people?! Of course Mr. Hottie would be assigned the same computer as me; cause we live in a movie or YA novel. Yeah, these things happen in real life! But they did, I inwardly groaned over and over. And now I had to deal with this.
With a quick check around to see that Mr. Scary Man wasn't in the room- he usually left for a bathroom break after the start of class- I drew in the deepest breath and made myself march inside. That was a lot harder said than done. I stuck out like a sore thumb in my gym uniform, immediately drawing everyone's attention as I entered. Shyly, very shyly, I made my way up to the back of Mr. Hottie's monitor. He blinked up at me with those endless eyes of his, parting his lips a tad.
"Can I help you?" Wow was this dumb, I suddenly realized in that moment. He wouldn't be on my account; he'd have to be on his own to do the work. This really wasn't thought out well, I understood as I stood there like a moron; my cheeks kept reddening by the second. "U-uh, sorry! This was my computer last class. I-I forgot to logout," I blurted out; again, like a total idiot. Mr. Hottie looked at me for a moment like a light bulb had turned on. Why? I had no idea; it actually alarmed me a little.
"Oh, so you're the poet?" What? "I was wondering who wrote this." What…. What is happening? My jaw dropped open, though no words came out. I was speechless; for the first time in my life, I was absolutely, utterly gobsmacked. Not only did he not log out of my account, but he actually read my poem! My private, personal work! Oh god, my chest started to tighten. Oh my god! Here I was, the first boy I talked to in high school- minus Josh- and he's gonna think I'm a loser! I'm never going to get a boyfriend! What's wrong with me?!
Mr. Hottie didn't respond right away, just watching my internal reaction for a quiet minute. Then he smiled; not smirked, smiled. "I've never read poetry before, but this isn't bad. You have some real talent." This made me stare back at him; just look at him in disbelief and awe. No one's ever said that to me before; I've never shown anyone my work before. He was the first reader of mine- the very first one. And he complimented me….. he said something nice to me.
My cheeks were blushing for a totally different reason now. The rest of the class seemed to disappear all around us as I continued to stare at him and him me. It really wasn't that romantic looking back, but at the time it felt like the ground had shifted under my feet. His lips morphed into a smile, which I instinctively mirrored. "What's your name?" He finally broke the silence but not his lovely smile. "Uh, Aerity! Aerity Covey." "Cool name. Nice to meet you, Covey; I'm…."
"Miss Covey!" We both flinched in alarm at Mr. Scary Man's angered tone. I hesitantly peered over to see an upset teacher motioning me over. Without looking back at Mr. Hottie, I dragged my feet over to him with my head hung low. Boy, did he look angry; planting his hands firmly on his hips and tapping one foot. "Miss Covey, I believe the bell rang ten minutes ago. What does that mean?" Oh god, this was humiliating. Everyone was watching us now, including you-know-who. Red in the face and unable to look him in the eye, I stared down at the floor as awkward as could be. "T-that I'm supposed to be in gym?" I whispered; I couldn't speak in a louder tone. I already felt like I was going to throw up enough. "And why aren't you in gym, Miss Covey?" "Uh…. erm….. um….."
"She forgot her student card!" Mr. Hottie unexpectedly stood up out of his chair. He quickly came over to us, grabbed my hand and put a card in it. Though I knew it wasn't my card; my student ID was safely in my wallet. The card he gave me had a little sticky note attached to it. I didn't know what to do at first, looking to Mr. Hottie for direction. He basically told me to play along with his eyes, which I immediately complied. "That's right!" I turned to face Mr. Scary Man. "I realized I forgot my card in here while I was changing," oh boy, I was not used to lying so sincerely like this. "Thank you," I grinned at Mr. Hottie, putting the card in my pocket.
The teacher inspected both our expressions for a second before pointing to the door. "Alright, you have your card. Now go back to gym class!" "Yes sir!" I complied without delay, rushing out of the room so fast that I didn't have a change to see Mr. Hottie one last time. Once in the hall however, I took my time going back to the gymnasium. I pulled out the card, looking at the sticky note first. It just had a number on it; his cell phone number I guessed. Then I looked at the card. I was right- it was his. Awe, he looked so cute in his photo. Maybe I thought he was so charming because of what he just did for me. No one had ever done anything like that for me before…. and that was all after reading my poetry too. I read his name for the first time after staring at his picture for much too long. It read: Peter Kavinsky. Peter… A smile unconsciously bloomed across my lips. Peter Kavinsky.