James looked out of the window to the Forbidden Forest. Snow was covering the castle's grounds and everything looked beautiful, still and silent. A smell of hot chocolate was lingering in the Gryffindor tower, warm and comfortable. The Christmas holidays were two weeks away and he could not be more impatient. This semester was really starting to take a toll on him.

Remus, who had made a quick and full recovery, was sitting by the fire with Sirius, who couldn't keep his eyes off him. They had all been extremely scared and were now very vigilant to never let Remus out of their sight, which annoyed him to say the least. He had been Confunded and didn't remember a thing about the incident, except for waking up in the infirmary to his best friends' worried faces.

"We're not even sure it was Severus, honestly. Could have been anyone holding a grudge against gorgeous blond Gryffindor prefects. We'll never know," he liked to joke.

Sirius always made a face to the comment. He had not forgotten how brutal the attack was, and probably never would. He hadn't said anything else regarding making Snivellus pay for what he did, but James was certain he was still dead set on the idea. Sirius Black was not the forgiving type.

As far as they could tell, McGonagall had no leads as to who the attacker was, and James found it so incredibly frustrating that he could not just tell her. He had tried going to her and explaining everything, taking the blame for the Polyjuice so his fellow Marauders wouldn't get in trouble, but Peter had managed to talk him out of it (with the help of a few jelly-legs curse).

The overwhelming feeling of guilt hadn't left James and there wasn't a second that went by in which he didn't worry. Out in the wizarding world, the war was gaining in intensity, and newspapers these days didn't bring much good news. A girl in their year had left England and the magical community entirely to go live with her cousins in France after her parents, both muggleborn, had been found dead in their home. Fear and paranoia were everywhere, and Hogwarts was deemed to be the safest place in Britain for wizards. But still, James couldn't wait to go home for Christmas and see his parents, who he missed terribly.

Fleamont and Euphemia Potter had been involved in the war as soon as it started, helping out Dumbledore with logistics, meeting gathering and planning. This meant they were probably targets for Death Eaters and this Dark Lord everyone kept talking about. But James couldn't bear the thought of losing them.

He shivered despite the warmth and cast a glance across the common room to Lily. Her long dark red hair was falling in front of her face as she was leaning on the table, writing a letter to her sister. She had made up with Snivellus not long after their fallout in the dinning hall. He probably had come running back begging for forgiveness, thought James with a silent sigh. And Lily, being the bigger person that she was, probably took him back with open arms. She was always willing to look over everyone's flaws. Everyone except for James, obviously.

He smiled to himself sadly, and turned back to his friends. With everything that had happened, he had forgot about the fact that he was supposed to pretend to be interested in Alice, and to be moving on from Lily. But it was just hard to not look at her, she was captivating, beautiful and exuded such a raw, powerful energy, James's eyes were just drawn to her at all times. He was always aware of her presence anytime she was in a room with him. Pretending to not like her was like pretending to not be incorrigibly handsome: impossible.

James chuckled at that last thought before realizing all of his friends were staring at him.

"Erh hum sorry, had something in my throat," he said, trying to cover up the fact that he just laughed out loud for seemingly no reason.

"Don't worry Prongs, we already know you're insane we share a dorm with you."

"Thanks Moony."

"Anytime man."

Remus had been doubling up on their conversational fun, in an effort to show that he was completely fine even after what happened, maybe to ease Sirius's spirit.

"So Prongs, tell us. How's the Evans situation? Any new developments?"

"She's still mental about me," sighed James, ruffling up his hair. "Can't get her to stop asking me out, it's crazy. Can't take a hint this girl."

While Peter and Sirius were barely holding in their laughter, Remus kept a serious face.

"Well I can tell, she's been looking at you from over there since we sat down."

"What? She has? Really?" James sat up, suddenly very aware that he was slouching on the couch. "How do I look?"

Sirius, Peter and Remus burst out laughing, incapable of staying serious a second longer.

"No, not really, she hasn't looked up once. There's only one person who's mental in the two of you and it's not her."

"You know what's not funny?" grunted James. "You. Ever."

"Sorry Prongs. At least you got us," said Peter, still laughing.

"Sometimes I wish I didn't," replied James, still offended. That was a lie of course. There wasn't a second that went by when he wasn't grateful for his best friends. When they weren't being complete dicks and making fun of him, that is.

"You love us really," said Sirius cheekily. James poked his tongue at him. He adored his friends and they knew it, but saying it out loud would only inflate their egos, which did not need inflating.

"I merely tolerate you lots."

Sirius rolled his eyes and halfheartedly went back to his Astronomy homework. The teachers were giving them more and more work everyday, and things was piling up. James just hoped the Christmas holidays would be enough for him to catch up on everything he hadn't been able to do due to detentions and Quidditch practices.

This Christmas would be Sirius's first at the Potters and despite the complicated times and the war, James hoped he would still be able to offer his best friend his first happy holiday.

"Potter!"

Annoyed, he looked up at the person who had just interrupted his train of thoughts and met eyes with a tall blond girl who was staring down at him, hands on her hips. Alice did not look happy.

"A word, please? Now."

James got up at once, forgetting he was trying to look cool for Lily. When Alice needed something, people obeyed and they did so immediately if they wished to keep their nasal conducts free of bats. She was a brilliant witch but patience wasn't in her top ten qualities. He followed her to a less crowded corner of the common room, where no one was likely to overhear their conversation.

Alice looked seriously mad and James could not think of anything he might have done to upset her in the last month. He had been miraculously early to most of the practices, had shown exemplary sportsmanship and had scored over ten goals during their game against Slytherin, which had put them well on track for winning the Quidditch Cup this year.

Sure, he had stolen a few golden snitches here and there, and sure he had enchanted the Quidditch robes of the entire team so that they would shrink a size every time they put them on, but there was no way Alice knew about any of it for now. James knew how to cover his tracks.

"What's up boss?"

"I could ask you the same. Why is there a rumor going around that you fancy me?" Her tone was very matter of fact. Alice did not play games or beat around the bush.

James felt his entire face turn red in under a second and he made a mental note to make Remus's life a living hell. What a stupid idea this turned out to be.

"I got it from Marlene, who got it from Evans, who got it from your prefect friend," she added before James could think of anything to say. "And I gotta say, Potter..."

"It's not true!" blurred out James. "Not true at all, just something Moony told Lily so she would be jealous."

Alice raised an eyebrow and James could see she was trying very hard not to smile so he risked trying to explain further.

"Moony said it's a girl thing? Not my idea at all, wasn't on board then, still not on board now."

Alice was now fully laughing, but James couldn't tell if she was laughing with him or at him.

"Your friend doesn't know a lot about girls, does he?"

"Erh no maybe not," said James, deliberately not looking over by the fireplace, where he knew Remus was sitting very close to his boyfriend.

"A girl that is worth falling for is a girl who is going to be happy for you, not jealous about you," said Alice, her voice softening. "You love Evans, right?"

James would have blushed harder if it was possible. It wasn't the first time he had to answer this question, but it usually always came from his mates, so in a way it felt more like teasing than like an actual question which you had to reply to sincerely. He had no doubt about the answer though.

"I do," he said, and he was happy to notice his tone was more firm and more assured than it had been since the beginning of the conversation.

"So let's say she should find another guy, or partner or whatever, and be incredibly happy with them. How would you feel?"

James was now desperately trying to make his way out of the conversation. He was hot and sweaty, not used to serious talks with people other than his Marauders. He looked over at them, in the other side of the common room, hoping one of them would sense his discomfort and rescue him. Peter, he wanted Peter. Peter was great at this sort of things. But Wormy appeared to have fallen asleep on the coffee table and Remus and Sirius were seemingly in a passionate discussion of their own.

James realized he was going to have to go through with this conversation, whether he wanted it or not. He looked back at Alice who was still waiting for his answer.

"Well... I would be sad for me at first, that's for sure. But all I want is for her to be happy, so if she's happy with someone else... I would be happy too," he said, suddenly understanding the point Alice was trying to make. "Lily doesn't belong to me, she doesn't belong to anybody. If she chooses to be with someone else but me, that will be her decision and I will have no right to question it. At the end of the day her happiness makes mine."

James looked up at Alice as if he was seeing her for the first time. She smiled at him.

"See? The opposite is true too. If you want her to love you, you won't get anywhere by trying to make her jealous."

"I thought you were a heartless thug but hey you're not as dumb as you look!" said James, smiling back at her. She really was the big sister he never had.

"Bite me Potter."

James ran back to his friends feeling happier and more hopeful than he was when he left them. Remus grinned at him when he approached them.

"What did she want? She didn't look pleased with you when she came to get you."

For a second James thought about telling his friends about the conversation he had just had but quickly decided against it. It somewhat felt very personal.

"Oh nothing," said James waving a dismissive hand. "She just found out it was me who put the wartcap powder on the Quaffle that one time."

"Good boy," said Sirius sleepily.