"You smell like flowers… you smell like flowers." Huh, that's the oddest thing, I thought staring up at the clear blue sky. I never wore any perfume or lotion, and my shampoo and conditioner were scentless- just like Margot wanted. But Peter insisted that I always smelt good; always. And that was before…. all before….
"Hey, Covey?" "Yes?" Peter and I were sitting at a picnic table near the city field; Peter had a lacrosse game tonight. He still played after all these years; go figure. I was at home reading Candide when Peter called me up. In short, he thought we should talk about our "coupling" arrangement. We found a picnic table in the shade to sit at, where he pulled out a wad of paper and pink pen. I looked surprised as he slid it over to me. "Here."
"What's this for?" "I said yesterday that you'd get to set the terms of… this, and I meant it. We'll only do whatever you're comfortable with; I just need to know what that is." "Oh! Is that what the paper is for?" Peter nodded. "I think we need a contract or something, for this I mean." "What?" I asked a bit shakily. "You mean like a Fifty Shades of Grey type contract?" "No, no, no!" His hand waved around. "Just make up some rules; whatever you want to do or don't want to do. I don't know, just write it down." And I eyed him with a cute little smirk. "You know, you would have thought this was the lamest thing back in high school." "That was before I learned what real consent was back in university. Let's be honest, I was a pig in high school." "You weren't a pig!" "Are you kidding? I grabbed Gen once and just kissed her- just like that. I didn't even ask permission or anything. That would never fly today." He's right; it's wouldn't. Not to mention it's super against the rules in any university or anywhere where the law touches. You learn all this "how to make relationships unfun" in university.
With a hint of playfulness, Peter reached over to put the pen in my hand. It was then that I noticed the ink was pink- my favorite color. "Where'd you get this? Gen hates pink, or at least she did when we were younger." "It's not Gen's," Peter corrected gently. "I got it for you; I know you like pink." "Awe!" I actually "awed" out loud. That was so cute! He really went out and bought me a pink pen for the occasion; probably to say "thank you" for being "his" this month. His…. With a wide grin on my face, I turned down to the empty paper. My hand froze for a minute as I gazed up a bit puzzled. "What should I write?" "Anything- any boundaries you want, any rules, any requests. Hey, this is my first time too," he confessed, and I grinned again.
"Ok, well first things first. I'm sorry, Peter, but this is a big one: no touching." "No touching?" His dark brown eyebrow raised. "Like at all?" "I'm just…. really warily about guys touching me; any guy." Peter looked like he was about to ask "why" but refrained himself. He instead considered the situation while nibbling on the skin on the tip of his thumb. "We're in our twenties, Covey. And I'm not trying to pressure you, but it'll look really weird if we- two full-grown adults- never touch each other. That's what couples in junior high do." "That sounds a lot like pressure, Peter." "Ok, ok; I get it," his hands rose up defensively. "Well, ok. What kind of contact, if any, would you be ok with? If it's none, then that's what we'll go with." "Boy," my eyes grew in mild astonishment. "You have changed. The sixteen-year-old Peter would have complained none-stop." "Not sixteen anymore, girl," he grinned over at me.
I smiled at him for a second before adding something to the rule on paper. "Ok, how about this? No kissing- period." "Ok, I can do that." "But you can hold my hand and hug me whenever we're both comfortable with it." "So basically, all contact is hugs and hand-holding? Am I correct?" "Yes. And maybe, on special occasions, you can kiss my cheek or forehead. Just no lips ever, ok?" Peter didn't say anything right away, merely watched me with large, spongy eyes. It was like he was trying to access the situation without asking for any details. "Kissing on the lips isn't romantic for you, is it?" "Not anymore," an instant lump formed in my throat. Not since I was twenty-two….. "We just can't do it, ok? If you want to kiss me, kiss my forehead, cheek, or hair- that's it." "Ok, I can live with that. What else?" He wisely chose to drop the topic, letting me quickly move on before… well, you know; panic attack city.
"Um, what else….. You have to tell me whenever Gen contacts you." "Done, but you have to tell me whenever you talk to Sanderson." "Deal," I wrote that down. "You have to tell me if you're ever uncomfortable with or upset about something; no secrets….. starting now," I had to tack on; I had to… "Ok, but you have to do the same, kay?" "Ok," more scribbling. Boy, I adored this pink pen so much. "Anything you want to add?" I then turned up to Peter, who seemed a little puzzled by this question. "What do you mean? I wanted to do this for you; you set the terms, remember?" "Well, yeah… but I want you to be happy and comfortable this month too," I did, I really did.
Peter watched me with this weird, sort of elated expression for a brief moment before grinning and rubbing the back of his neck. "Alright. Well, if you're alright with it, I'd like you to come to my lacrosse games." "I can do that," and away my hand wrote. "Anything else?" "I really like going to movies, but going off rule- what is it?" He had to check. "Rule three, if you ever feel reluctant or, what's that word….?" His fingers snapped together. "What word?" "You know, when you feel scared or something like that all of a sudden." "Triggered?" Triggered…. Oh boy, I knew what that was. But I was a little surprised that Peter did, and what's more, he knew it applied to me. "Yeah; if you ever feel reluctant or triggered by anything we see, you have to let me know and we'll leave immediately." "You'd….. you'd do that….. for me?" A number of butterflies started fluttering around in my stomach. "Course! Write that down," and I did.
"Alright!" I sighed and grinned back up at him. "Now something positive. What's something positive we can do for…. "this"?" Peter thought to himself before his eyes lit up. "I could… write you little notes every day….. if you'd like." Peter…. My lips opened in minor awe. No one…. no one had ever done anything like that for me before, minus the two dozen roses I just got. "Would you…. mind doing that?" I had to look down while asking this, feeling suddenly a little shy. He didn't reply right away, simply looking at me again, effortlessly…. "Would that make you happy?" I nodded slowly. "Gen was always on my case about not writing her love letters or notes or anything. I don't know; chicks seem to dig it, so I thought…. maybe it'd make you happy." Peter, my eyes softened. Peter…. "I'd like that," I'd like that a lot.
We smiled at each other and then I signed my name on the contract. My hand slid it over to Peter, who pulled out his own pen and signed it in dark blue ink. Then he tore it off, folded it up, and handed it to me. "My lady." "Thank you," I took it with a grin and set it in my back pocket, next to Josh's bracelet. "So!" "So….. I guess we're really doing this, at least for the next month." "I guess we are," I gave a side grin. "Gen's gonna freak when she finds out." And Peter nodded, though not excitedly. "That's gonna be fun," he groaned.
"Hey," I reached over to place my hand over his wrist, causing him to peer down at it. "We'll deal with it together. Remember what you said yesterday? You're here for me, and for the next month, I'm here for you too," I tried to sound as reassuring as possible, which I think worked because he looked up at me with a small smile. His other hand came to rest overtop of mine in the most tenderest way….. so incredibly tender. "Can you say that again?" "What?" "What you just said, about being here for me; us being there for each other." Oh. But I didn't the chance to ask why; Peter's gaze lowered as his hand tightened its grip on mine. "The way you say it…. the sound of your voice… there's something about it. When you say that," his eyes rolled up to deliberately meet mine, soak mine in. "I'm inclined to believe you." Peter, my own eyes grew as my cheeks began to sizzle a lovely shade of pink. This man….. My mouth didn't hesitate to open. This wonderful, wonderful man. "Together, Peter. From now on, we'll do everything together." Just like this, the heat from our hands radiated into each other's.