This was all of our first time in Paris. I really wanted to visit Versailles and the famous Cimetière du Père Lachaise. But Margot insisted that she and Josh go to the Modern Art museum. Yawn; why would you go there when the Louvre was within walking distance? If you know Margot though, she was adamant on her decision. I was twenty at the time, meaning that this was before I became afraid of being on my own in such a place. This also meant that I could explore Paris alone for as long as I wanted; oh, how that makes me cringe now.
We were sitting at a café on the Seine somewhere near Shakespeare and Company; you could see Notre Dame on the other side of the river. I'll admit, I wasn't super happy with Margot at the moment. She likely wasn't too impressed with me either. "I don't want to spend all day tomorrow at a cemetery, Aerity." "It's not just "a cemetery"! It's Cimetière du Père Lachaise." "Whatever. Look, Josh and I are going to the Modern Art Museum this afternoon. You can come with us, or you can go to Versailles." "Hey, I want to go to Versailles too," Josh interjected after finishing off his cappuccino. "Fine," Margot's eyes rolled. "We'll do Versailles on Friday. You do your cemetery thing tomorrow while we explore different Parisian cafes." "Fiiiiiiiiiiine. I guess I'll just wander around the city for the rest of the day," my arms folded defiantly, and I glared away.
"Alright," seemingly satisfied with this, Margot stood up from her chair. "We'll meet back in front of Notre Dame at six." "Ok," I let out an immature huff. "Good. See you later, little sis. Be careful." "I will," my eyes rolled. "Come on, Josh," she led the way down the street in an irritating fashion. I watched her go annoyed myself until Josh got up; he gazed down at me with soft, consoling eyes. "We'll go to Versailles on Friday, promise," his voice was as kind as possible. I grinned up at him. "Ok, for you, I can wait." "Thanks, Aerity," he mirrored my expression. "Have a good time this afternoon, ok? I'd hate to think you were miserable in Paris." "Haha, as if. Thank you, Josh; I'll see you at six." "See you," with one last smile, he ran to catch up with my sister. Once I was alone, I let out a long sign, dangling my arms out at my side. My head rolled up in such a way that I was facing the sky.
With nothing better to do, I spent the afternoon wandering around the city. This was before I really got into history, literature, or anything with class. Man, how times changes. But I did still like reading; my literary tastes wouldn't change until I was almost twenty-three, but I still enjoyed a good book back then. At about two o'clock in the afternoon, I made my way over to Shakespeare and Company. I was too inexperienced to know who Hemingway was- like really was- in my youth. The reason why I say this is because that bookshop is where Hemingway actually stayed and wrote. I didn't realize the gravity or importance of the place I was entering; now it is deeply revered by me.
It wasn't busy but there were enough people around. Another interesting fact about this store is it's stocked all with English books. Good thing too cause my French sucks; that's one thing that hasn't changed. I went upstairs to where the fiction was. The romance section was beside a window overlooking the Seine. While scanning over the surprisingly small selection, my eyes couldn't help but wander outside.
In that moment, I distinctly remember a song I'd never heard before starting playing on the poor-quality speakers. It was called Plaisir d'Amour; this version by a singer named Rina Ketty. It sounded old, really old…. but also very pretty. While listening passively, I gazed out of the window down at the pedestrians on the street. I noticed a young couple- maybe around my age- embrace each other under a skinny tree. They smiled at each other and kissed, both closing their eyes.
My heart lurched as my lips drooped into a depressed frown. They sure looked in love and the music wasn't helping anything. All I could think about in that moment was Peter. It'd been a whole year since we last spoke and I still thought about him all the time. Even here, all the way across the world- there he was, lingering somewhere inside of me. This isn't fair! We never even kissed… Why do I have to think of him at the most inopportune times? I'm in Paris, in Shakespeare and Company for pete's sake! I should be happy; I shouldn't miss some jerk who picked Gen over me. How was that fair to myself?
The couple's lips pulled apart and they stared into each other's eyes with the luckiest look on their faces. This was too much for me. I had to yank my eyes away, turning back to the romance bookshelf. Ugh, I had to choose this section of all books. Refusing to peer out the window again, I decided what the hell and scanned over the titles. Some I knew, some were completely foreign to me. Nothing really caught my attention until I reached the bottom shelf. It had a note taped on it: Classics in next room. Classics? My eyebrow rose curiously. Huh, I don't think I've ever read anything like that before; at least not in my free time. I did have to read Shakespeare in high school- heh, irony. But still, I was a little curious. None of these books caught my fancy so maybe they'd have something. Anything to get my mind off you-know-who.
I went into the next room, only to find it empty. There was a bare fireplace and a very old red leather armchair. It smelt strongly like old books, I remember that. I really liked that scent; something that never left me. The music was louder in this room, coming from a small black speaker resting on the fireplace sill. That was also the first time I paid attention to the lyrics, not just the melody. And I remember falling instantly in love with the song this time around.
The joys of love are but a moment long. So true, I thought as I began to mull over the many titles. All the books in here were, or at least looked super old. And they all smelt so good! Yes, I know I'm weird; I can't help it. The pain of love endures the whole life long. Even more true! Peter's face popped up in my mindset again. I had to shake it out. No! No, I'm not going to think of him; I'm not going to let his memory and my lingering love for him ruin my first trip to Paris. I just need to get my mind on something else; yeah, that's it. I need to find something to read. Something good, something comforting, something I'll love….
My eyes suddenly stopped on a title that I did recognize. Huh, Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. Ponderingly, my hand reached out to grab it. This felt familiar for some reason….. Your eyes kissed mine, I saw the love in them shine. Course I'd seen the movie and the 1995 adaptation. I knew the basic story but…. I couldn't put my finger on it but something about this book felt….. unique, special to me. My lips opened a sliver as I stared down at the cover. Sure was a big book; it would take me a while to finish this. My eyes lowered a tad as I continued to observe it enduringly. Something about this book…. You brought me heaven right there when your eyes kissed mine. Something about this book made me want to read it. It's so long that it would definitely take my mind off…..
"Oh no! No, stop it, Aerity!" I scolded myself, giving the side of my head a sharp whack. "Don't think about him; don't even remember his name!" With my head now hurting, I made the swift decision to buy the book. I got through the first third in my twentieth year; I actually managed to read the whole thing when I was twenty-three years old. I don't know why but that book- that and War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy- brought me into a whole new literary world. Everything changed after reading them; my tastes in music, movies, plays, and especially books. For some unknown reason, I was possessed that day to buy Pride and Prejudice, and I haven't parted with it since. Still, I could never figure out what made me buy it in the first place….
"Aerity? Earth to Aerity. Hey, are you listening to me?" My eyes opened to see Kitty standing over me from behind the couch. She was bent in such a way that our faces were staring at each other. "Huh? What?" I had to blink a couple of times to regain my bearings. "It's been fifteen minutes. You can take the face mask off now." "What? Oh! Oh, right," I'd completely forgotten that I was waiting for my mask to settle in. Of course this was cause for a mad dash to the bathroom down the hall.
"What's with you? Were you falling asleep or something?" Kitty asked me as she set on yet another Lizzie McGuire episode. "No, I was just remembering something," I said, wiping my mask off. "What?" "The first time I went to Paris." "Oh," it sounded like she immediately lost interest, turning her attention back to the tv. "Which episode do you want to watch? The Longest Yard or Lizzie's Eleven?" "Actually, I was wondering if you'd like to watch Pride and Prejudice?" "Didn't we just see that with Peter two weeks ago?" "Yes, but we could watch the 1995 adaptation?" I offered hopefully.
"Mmmmmmm, I don't really like that one; too slow. Pick something else." "How about War and Peace?" I asked as I emerged from the bathroom clear-faced. Man, my skin feels so soft! I'll have to thank Josh again tomorrow. Kitty meanwhile, didn't look happy with my pick of movie. "Why do you only like old, boring movies? Well, them and cartoons." "They're not boring; they're really romantic." "Yeah, if you only like talking," she rebuffed in an unconvinced tone. "Seriously, would it kill them to have at least held hands back in the olden days?" "Conversation can be the most romantic thing, Kitty." "If you lived in Shakespeare's time, maybe," her eyes shot me a glare. My own eyes gave a roll as I sat back on the couch and stared at the tv.
Conversation can be the most romantic thing….. Those words rang over and over in my head like a song. Words can be more romantic than kisses or physical affection; this was something I knew. "You smell like flowers….. you smell like flowers." This was something I certainly knew.