"Do you think she thinks it's a date?"

James was laying on his bed, wide awake. It was close to midnight and Peter had enchanted small balls of light to float near the ceiling so Remus could read.

"For the hundredth time: I don't know and stop asking us," answered Sirius, getting increasingly annoyed by the conversation that had been going on for too long.

"Because I don't want it to be a date! Should I just go and tell her right now? I should, right? I'll go and talk to her right now, I don't want to give her false hopes."

"Prongs! You've been talking about it non stop since you last saw her, it's obvious you want to go."

"Is it?" whispered James weakly. He had never been so confused about anything before.

He let go of the snitch he had been squeezing for the past thirty minutes and let it escape and flutter around the room.

"Yes," answered Sirius firmly, sprawling out on Remus's bed. "So just go. And stop talking about it please, I'll do anything."

"You don't even have to like it," continued Remus, sat on the floor with an opened book on his lap. "Just go and you can decide how you feel about her later."

James smiled half-heartedly. He already knew how he felt about Marlene. She was fun, open-minded and quick-witted. She loved Quidditch just as much as he did and no one in their year could rival with her when it came to Astronomy, not even Sirius.

James loved to spend time with her. But he didn't love her. Not the way he loved Lily. That's what had been on his mind for the past two days. Because Marlene was there, expressing interest in him. Lily wasn't. So could he really blame himself for giving a shot at loving someone else?

"Yeah, I guess I'll go," he whispered, more to himself than to his friends. "I'll give it a try."

That was a terrifying thought and he chose to not acknowledge it again until the next morning, which he feared was a long way away. With the anxiety building up inside his chest, he doubted he would be able to shut his eyes at all.

"Good morning!" exclaimed Peter as he pulled the curtains of James' bed, waking him from a long and undisturbed sleep. The light came flooding in, white and blinding. "It's a beautiful day outside!"

Never, in all the years James had known him, had Peter been such in a good mood so early in a Saturday. Despite all of Sirius's subtly dropped hints, Peter still hadn't told them about Mary and although the boys were dying to know what was going on between the two of them, Remus had been adamant about respecting Peter's privacy and not force him to reveal more than he wanted.

"So what are you doing today Pete?" yawned James, in a last desperate attempt.

Remus shot him a deadly stare from underneath his pillow and Peter quickly avoided the question.

"More like what are you doing on your date with McKinnon, Prongs? Oh Merlin, are you gonna kiss?"

"Ew, don't be disgusting Peter, they're not gonna kiss!" exclaimed a sleepy Sirius from across the room.

"They might!"

"We won't!" said James, making a disgusted face although he wasn't sure exactly why. "Leave me alone!"

James imitated Remus and buried his head underneath his pillow to escape the blinding sunlight and mocking glances. He heard Peter rummage around the room for a while, and tried to block out the annoyed groans of his friends for a few more minutes.

When he finally got up, Peter had already left and his friends had fallen back asleep. He first tried to tame his hair, before deciding it looked better messy and teasing it with his wand. After sparkles almost set fire to an unruly strand, he put it to rest and tried to get dressed silently.

He quickly realized he had no idea what to wear on a date, which led him to the thought that he had never actually been on any type of date. He suddenly felt his heartbeat fasten and a knot tie in his stomach. Thinking he was going to be sick, he stuck his head out of the window and breathed in the cold October air. The sun was already quite high in the sky. It was time for him to go.

He carefully folded his Invisibility cloak and put it on Sirius's trunk, thinking his friend might want it to mess with Remus while he was on prefect duty this afternoon, as he usually did. He took one last look at the silent dorm room before closing the door behind him.

He hurried along the path to Hogsmeade, worried he might be late. Sirius had extensively explained to him that arriving late on a date was a power move but James found that somewhat hard to believe. And, although he would never admit it to Sirius, he really couldn't understand what power moves were, and how they came into play when it came to a date.

As he pushed the door to the pub, he was welcomed by the warmth of the fireplace and the loud chattering of dozens and dozens of Hogwarts students and other clients.

She was already waiting for him, at an empty table near the bar, her braided blonde hair tossed over her shoulder. She looked a little different, more sophisticated than usual maybe, and James understood she might be wearing make-up although he certainly wouldn't have been able to tell which kind.

"Hi," he said awkwardly, approaching the table.

"Hiya James!"

Marlene got up and greeted him with a hug. James couldn't help but noticed the warmth of her palms and the smell of hot chocolate in her hair.

"Sorry I'm late."

"You're not, I'm just early!"

He sat down in front of her and ruffled up his hair, unsure of what to say next. She looked very beautiful in her autumn robes and rosy cheeks, but somehow it didn't feel like something appropriate to mention.

"Have you seen the Ravenclaws practice Thursday night?" asked Marlene, leaning forward to avoid being overheard by other students.

"No, hum, I was in detention with Lily."

Immediately as he pronounced her name, James knew it had been wrong to do so. He had asked Lily out several times, very publicly, and Marlene had been there each of those times. There was no way she could ignore how he felt about Lily. Which is why Marlene asking him out on a date had been so strange.

To her credit, she did not react at Lily's mention, bouncing right off to what she really wanted to talk about.

"They have a new Keeper. Cornell, I think. He's in fourth year and he is massive."

"Is he any good?"

"He isn't bad. Slow, for sure, but his arms are so long it doesn't really matter. He blocked ten shots out of eleven on Thursday, and you know how good their Chasers are."

"Is McLaren still on the team?" asked James.

"How could he not be? He's the best they have. Probably the second best Chaser in the school after you," she answered. "And I have no idea how to counter him, I thought we would have much more time before having to worry about him."

"I wish Alice was here," James sighed. "She's the only reason we beat them last year."

Marlene smiled and her eyes suddenly shifted from James to something behind him.

"Speak of the devil."

James turned around to see a familiar figure at the bar, nose deep in a glass of Butterbeer. Alice looked almost the same as James remembered, the exception being her uniform, attaching her to the Ministry and no longer to the school.

As though she could feel the two pair of eyes on the back of her neck, she looked above her shoulder and noticed them immediately in the crowded place.

"Potter! McKinnon!" she exclaimed, walking to them and jumping on the empty seat beside Marlene. "Fancy seeing you here!"

"Alice!" said James and Marlene at the same time. "Hi!"

Alice pulled Marlene in for a tight hug and gave a friendly slap to James' arm.

"What's new with you, Potter? Haven't heard from yah since my last letter!" she said, readjusting her high up bun. "Oh please tell me you and Evans are finally together! All that flirting during practice was just painful to look at to be honest."

James shot an embarrassed look at Marlene, who smiled back at him nervously. Immediately catching the silent exchange, Alice opened wide eyes.

"Nooo, don't tell me you guys are on a date right now! By Merlin, you are! Are you kidding? McKinnon please I'm begging you, don't tell me you actually like that twat!"

To James relief, Marlene didn't blush nor avoided eye contact with Alice. She simply smiled and held her chin up high.

"He might be a bit of a wanker but he has a few redeeming qualities," she said coolly. "And by 'a few' I mean at least one."

Alice snorted and rolled her eyes.

"That's a very subtle way of admitting you're into him because he's hot now, isn't it?"

"Bloody hell girls, I can hear you, don't talk about me like I'm a piece of meat!" protested James. "I'm right here!"

"Yes, that's unfortunate," sighed Alice, which made Marlene laugh perhaps a bit too much.

"Shut it, Alice."

"You wish."

James and Alice exchanged a smile and suddenly it felt like second year again, when they had all been freshly recruited in the Gryffindor Quidditch team, during a simpler, more peaceful time. Now, like then, James and Alice's constant bickering profoundly amused Marlene. James' gaze lingered on her dimple, which he noticed now, unlike then. She had only one, on her left cheek, deepened by her genuine laughter.

It was adorable, truly. And James caught himself thinking that perhaps, just perhaps, he could one day learn to love her.

"What's new with you, Alice? And what are you doing here?"

Alice's smile faded a little at Marlene's question, and a certain shift in her attitude highlighted the bags under her eyes and her tired expression.

"My Auror training was accelerated," she explained. "They're making us work thrice as hard, so we can start the job earlier. It's exhausting but the Ministry needs the extra help. That's also why I'm here. To convince NEWTs students to become Aurors themselves, no matter what course they chose."

"Is it really that bad out there?"

"Yes." Alice's voice had never been more serious. "Muggles and wizards are disappearing. It's not isolated cases any more. It's all across the country. Entire families. And there are rumours of the dark side working with Giants, Dementors and... well, highly influential politicians under the Imperius curse."

Marlene chuckled flatly.

"That's it then, huh? If that's true, we're all fucked."

"Not necessarily," said James. "There are so many of us who believe in the right thing. There are so many of us who have hope. We won't go down without a fight."

"You are as brave as you are naive, Potter," smiled Alice. "I like that about you."

Marlene laughed and playfully shoved Alice's arm.

"Quit flirting with him! I was literally here first."

Alice made a disgusted face and Marlene shoved her again, until they quietly fake wrestled together on their seats, like James and Sirius always did. James laughed at the scene, all anxiety about the war and the future momentarily forgotten. He had no idea girls played wrestle too.

"I should leave you guys to your date," said Alice finally, fixing her bun Marlene had teased mercilessly.

"No!" exclaimed James and Marlene at the same time. Their eyes met and James saw his own fear reflected to him in Marlene's intense gaze. They shared the same anxiety of being alone with each other.

"Hum, yes, I'm done third wheeling for the day, thank you."

Alice was getting up when Marlene started sketching a simplified version of Quidditch pitch on one of the napkins.

"Stay. We're four days away from the first game and we've never been so under-prepared. They changed the line-up at the last minute, we're playing Ravenclaw."

"What? That's insane!" said Alice, immediately collapsing back to her seat.

"Hey, that's what I said!" laughed James.

Marlene slid her drawing of the pitch to the centre of the table and the three of them leaned forward on, now fully engaged in discussing strategies to take down the Ravenclaws. James and Marlene talked to Alice about everything: the new teams, the new techniques they had been trying out, even their Beater's new brooms. They wanted nothing left to chance.

They talked for so long the pub had cleared when they finally were satisfied with all the decisions that had been made, and it was already time for their Saturday practice.

"I just totally crashed your date," laughed Alice as they left the Three Broomsticks to head out to the Quidditch pitch. "I would be really sorry if I didn't find this hilarious."

James and Marlene exchanged a meaningful look. Alice had had more than a few Butterbeers across the afternoon, and she was a little wobbly on her feet.

"I don't think you can Apparate home, Alice."

"Bugger off, McKinnon, Frank is waiting for me."

"Frank? Who's Frank?"

"Oh, she probably means Frank Longbottom. You know him, he was Head Boy a few years back. Well, he's an Auror now and Alice working with him," explained James. "I think she has a crush on him."

"Shut up Potter, who told you about Frank?"

"You did, Alice!"

"Bullshit! When?"

"In your last letter, you idiot!"

The trio kept bickering until they arrived to the pitch, where the team was already waiting for them. Of course, they all greeted Alice's presence with loud applause at first, then annoyed groans when she insisted on watching the entire practice from the stands.

"You have to promise me to be quiet though," said Marlene in a vaguely threatening voice. "I'm the captain now, so you can't boss us around any more, got it?"

Alice motioned she would stay silent, and James forced himself to tear his gaze away from Marlene. She was already so different from the insecure girl needing reassurance about her leadership qualities at the beginning of the school year. She exuded a certain type of confidence, quiet and subtle in some ways, but overwhelming in others.

Ever since the first practice, she had become better and better at being a captain, leading by example. Contrarily to Alice, she never once raised her voice or in any way belittled anyone, preferring a more delicate approach, where she listened and compromised. In fact, she was so competent no one ever dared to question her methods, not even James, who loved nothing more than to question figures of authority.

Marlene was strong, he realized. Stronger than she liked to appear.

This practice session was incredibly efficient and they had a chance to test out almost everything they had discussed during the day. Faithful to her promise, Alice remained quiet, so when James flew towards the stands to check on her, he wasn't surprise to find her soundly asleep in her oversized winter coat.

They practiced until the sun went down behind the lake, at which point the exhausted team rushed to the showers, ready for a large and well-deserved meal. Only Marlene and James stayed behind, still on their brooms, slashing through the air in a playful but nevertheless competitive race.

She had always been slower than him, but he purposefully lost this time. Not because he took pity on her, and certainly not because he wanted to be a gentleman, but because he wanted to see her smile again. To James, there were no eyes more beautiful than those filled with genuine happiness.

The fear he had had to be alone with her was completely gone. For a while they didn't talk, alone in the vast Quidditch pitch under the orange sky turning darker every minute.

It was just them and their brooms and the sound of the wind.

At one point they stopped racing around the pitch, but James couldn't remember when. At one point they both immobilized their brooms in the air, twenty feet from the ground, but James couldn't tell if it had been a silent agreement or if one had simply followed the other. At one point they had started talking while passing the Quaffle to each other, but James couldn't remember where the conversation had started, or if it even had a beginning. It felt so natural, so effortless, he felt as though they had been talking forever.

"Are you scared?" asked James as he threw the Quaffle her way.

"About the war? Yeah, I mean, who isn't?"

"Valid point."

"I'm not scared for me though, is that weird? Not for my parents either, I know they're gonna be okay."

"Who are you scared for then?"

"My brother. I know it's silly, because he's so much older than me, but he works for the Ministry, and from what Alice said..." Marlene bit her lip and threw the Quaffle back to James. "Do you think it's true that some politicians are under the Imperius Curse?"

James shrugged. If he was being honest, he was more scared of Dementors than potentially corrupted office men.

"Probably."

"My brother works in the Department for the Control of Magical Creatures. He's... well, he's pushing for a reform that would give freedom and unalienable rights to every creature capable of coherent thought. He wants them all to have the same rights as wizards do. And, I understand why he's doing that, I do. But he is pissing off a lot of people in the Ministry, and this type of thinking can't sit well with the supremacists that are slowly taking over everything. It also means he deals with a lot of werewolves and more and more of them are joining Greyback, and I... I can't..."

She didn't finish her thought and bit down on her bottom lip. She looked immensely troubled, but she didn't look scared.

"It's gonna be okay."

"You're just saying that."

"Yeah. But I also mean it. Historically, that's how the world operates. Three steps forward and two step back. Right now, the world is backing up into a dark corner, but we will step forward and into the light soon enough. I know you and Alice think I'm naive and maybe I am. But hope keeps the world going, so I'm hoping. And I will do whatever's necessary, I'm ready for it."

James turned the Quaffle in his hands and silence settled in between them.

"Thank you," Marlene whispered after a while. "This world needs people like you, James Potter."

James smiled at her gently, unsure what to answered. Marlene shivered. The sun had set completely, and they had been immobile for too long, the warmth created by their restless practice had evaporated. A drop of rain came down. Then two. Then a million.

They landed on the ground softly and with a flick of her wand Marlene sent their brooms to the locker room where they were kept. Before he knew it, they were standing face to face, empty handed, alone under the pouring rain. Neither of them thought to draw their wand to shield them from the rain. The moment was just too perfect.

Suddenly James wasn't as cold. In fact, it was a very warm feeling growing in his chest, traitorous. The exact opposite of what he wanted to feel.

"I had fun today," said Marlene, as she stepped closer to him. Raindrops were caught in her eyelashes.

"Me too. You've been... well, you've been a true surprise."

"What, you didn't expect me to be this fun?" she smiled innocently, and her dimple appeared again.

"I didn't expect the day to go by this fast. Time really does fly by when I'm with you. You're wonderful."

As he pronounced these words he knew to be the wrong ones, Marlene's smile shifted ever so slightly, from lovely to sad, as if she understood exactly what James wouldn't say.

"You're still in love with Lily, aren't you?"

She didn't look angry or frustrated, and her question wasn't meant for an answer. She was stating a fact that was breaking her heart. Raindrops were caught in her eyelashes.

"Yeah," he whispered, his head down, wishing, praying she would not hear him.

"I don't mind, you know," she whispered back.

Raising his head, James would have given anything to not see the overwhelming sadness on her face. She stepped closer, too close for comfort but James didn't step back. She kissed him, or perhaps he kissed her. In the rainstorm, her lips were warm and soft against his. Raindrops were caught in her eyelashes.

"But I do mind," he said, pulling apart but keeping his forehead pressed against hers. "I don't want to hurt you."

"Yeah. I know."

She was crying. Or perhaps he was. It was beautiful and it was an unsaid farewell to something that would never happen. She smiled sadly and pulled away. There was one tear rolling on her cheek, or maybe a raindrop. She wiped it away with her sleeve.

"I guess that's it then, uh."

James nodded but did not reply, unspoken words stuck in his throat. She walked away quietly, disappearing in the rain without looking back, leaving him with one certainty.

It was Lily. It had always been Lily and it would always be. Nothing had ever been so clear in his mind.