And here we have our third series: The Walking Dead! (Canon until ep 9x10 - meaning a few eps after losing Rick and that big time jump, and a few eps before the heads on spikes drama.) I realize my reading audience will decrease with every show I add, as less people watch all three of them, but hey, let's just accept that as a fact and consider ourselves a select company (or clan?) from now on. This part being for those still with me! Enjoy!

CLARKE

We're lead towards the gate by a man named Morgan, as I just learned, who's apparently been here before. There are ten of us. Is that a lot? How many men and women will be behind that wall? Probably way more.

We come to a hold as one.

"I'd like to see Maggie," Morgan tells the armed man at the gate. His voice is calm, almost polite.

The guard crosses his arms. A scowl darkens his face. "Maggie is gone," he states.

The news seem to shock Morgan. To unbalance him. "Did she- did they get her?"

"No," the man answers, shaking his head. "She just left. Joined another group. Who are you, anyway?"

"Morgan!"

The reply isn't coming from Morgan himself. It's coming from someone behind the guard. A woman, as it turns out when she gets closer to us.

"Tara!" Morgan's face lights up. "How 'bout that? You live here now?"

"Worse," she snorts, "I'm running this ship."

"Then you're the one I need to talk to," he smiles. "We're looking for a place to stay. To settle down for a while."

She narrows her eyes, drawing a thin line between her brows. "All of you?"

Morgan nods and takes a step closer to her. "Yes, all of us. I know we're with many, but we can all help out. And I can tell you these are all good people. I've traveled with them for years, I know all of them very well," he tells her before partly turning around to follow her gaze, as she's already checking us out like we're on some kind of meat market. His eyes linger on me for a second. "Almost all of them," he quietly adds.

When he faces her again she shrugs apologetically. "I'm sorry, Morgan, but we don't have the space for that many people. We accepted a group of five just a few weeks ago, they got the last trailer. We're packed."

"We've got tent-"

"Besides," she goes on, ignoring his attempt to convince her, "you might know them, but we don't. And like you said, it's been years. Things have changed. We've all changed. Who tells me you didn't? Who says you're still our Morgan?"

"You don't trust me?!" It's hard to tell if it's a question or an insult. I can't see his face, but he sounds stunned. This clearly isn't the welcome he was counting on.

"I want to, but come on, you know we have to be very cautious," Tara shrugs again. "We can't be naive. To us you are nine strangers. Ten if we count you."

"We're not all strangers."

The words are out before I know it. Yet before I can worry if this is my smartest move, I already hear myself go on. "We know her."

I point at Luna.

Tara looks surprised. "You do?"

Without waiting for my confirmation, she turns around. "Magna!" she calls for Luna, who's still up on one of the walls, "Can you come down for a second?"

Before Tara's focus is back on me, Lexa swiftly leans in. "Clarke, what are you doing?" she murmurs beneath her breath.

I look at her from the corner of my eye. "Trying to get us in," I whisper. "Isn't that what we're here for?"

"Yes, but don't you think-"

She can't finish.

"What is it?" Luna - or Magna was it? - questions as soon as she shows up next to Tara.

Tara faces her. "These people claim to know you. Is that true?"

"Not all of us!" I quickly clarify, "Just us." I gesture at Lexa and myself.

With a blank expression on her face Luna gives the both of us a once-over before turning to Tara again. She gives a dismissive wave of her hand. "Never seen them before. Whatever they're selling, don't buy it."

As she's about to turn around, I instinctively take a big step forward, though I stop right there as I catch the guard doing the same.

"Wait!" I try to stop her nonetheless. "Please, I know it's been years, but-"

This time it's Luna who takes a step closer - a little too close for my liking, to be honest. On the other hand, the fact that she's this intimidating just proves to me that it's really her.

"You question my memory?" she snarks.

"No, she doesn't." Lexa rests her hand on my shoulder and discreetly pulls me two steps back. "We're just talking about a real long time ago. I believe I haven't seen you since I was twelve, so..."

Luna frowns. "Seen me where?"

"At the- At the training," Lexa answers her. I can tell she carefully weighs her words, trying to avoid names and places, yet also realizing she does need to give her something, since Luna just keeps staring at her. "You know, for the Conclave? We were both novitiates."

"Novi-whats?"

As Lexa tries to evoke the memory I search for a sign of recognition on her face, but there is none. She isn't lying. She really doesn't remember.

And she's really not going to help us.

Luna turns towards Tara again, showing us her back. "Seriously, I have no clue what they're talking about. They're frauds. You should send them away!"

She doesn't wait for Tara's response, neither does she give us a second look; she just walks away. I follow her with my eyes, watch how she meets another woman halfway between us and some big mansion in the far back. The woman wraps her arm around her and pulls her close. She kisses her temple. They laugh.

"... can't right now, I need to talk to some others."

Tara's voice coming from afar draws my attention back to her conversation with Morgan.

"I'm not sending you away," she tells him, "but I can't let you in either. For now you can set up your camp over there, next to the crops."

When I peek over her shoulder again, Luna is out of sight. And when Tara closes the gate behind her, the entire settlement is.

Mission failed.

We all look at each other. "Now what?" a woman called June wonders out loud.

"Set up camp," Morgan sighs, "And hope for the best."

Together we walk back to the truck. I make sure to stay close to Lexa - not just because there might be Walkers around, but because I am very aware of the disappointment of the group - a heavy feeling that outweighs the fear of the living dead.

"I made it worse, didn't I?" I quietly ask her.

She takes my hand. "Maybe," she admits, "But maybe we didn't stand a chance to begin with."

"Your friends might feel different. They might want me to leave now," I mutter. I can feel panic sneaking up on me. Will I lose her if they do?

"No, they won't," Lexa calmly reassures me with a light squeeze. I mirror her action, only to hold on more tight. "Like Morgan said, they're good people. They're not out to judge, or punish. The days that we're all at each other's throats - sometimes even literally - are far behind us."

I look aside, the corner of my mouth quirking up in sudden amusement. "You've come a long way."

She returns my smile in a way that makes my belly flutter. "You have no idea," she grins.

We make it back to the truck without any trouble and drive it to the designated spot next to the vegetable patch, and close to the wall. The tents are up in no time, and Lexa and I retreat in ours.

"This isn't right," she sighs. "Being this close to a wall that can actually protect us, yet being at the wrong side of it."

Rolling out the mattresses, and making sure they're right next to each other this time, I look at her over my shoulder. "You think it would have made a difference? With Luna, I mean. Would she indeed have helped us, if she remembered?"

Lexa hands me the blankets. "I don't know, she might have. The Luna I knew would have."

"I hate to tell you that she changed a lot after your-"

I fall quiet mid-sentence.

"-after my passing," she completes my words, showing me a soft, warm smile. "It's okay, Clarke. I'm okay. I found my next shore, remember?"

I force myself to answer her smile, despite that I can only offer her a sad one in return. I'm glad that she's okay. Relieved to know she didn't suffer, and that she was able to leave it all behind her, even though that meant she forgot about me. But I never forgot about her. I had to live with it, for all those years. With the pain, with missing her every single day. Yes, we found each other again, in some miraculous way, but every day I spent without her feels like a lost one. There's nothing that can change that.

Heaving a small sigh, I lie down on top of the blankets. Lexa watches me, then follows my example, nestling herself in my arms.

"What happened to her?" she asks, her voice hardly more than a whisper.

I swallow. "She died in pain."

"Doesn't everyone?"

"That's not what I mean. I'm not talking about a painful death - although from what I've heard, it wasn't a good one. I'm talking about darkness," I start to explain, making sure to keep my voice down. "To you she is the girl who stopped fighting. Who went away to live her life in peace. Believing there was still good in the world, that people were good. And worth saving. That's how I met her as well. But Lexa, she lost it all. Her entire clan. Her faith in humanity. And in the end, even herself. The last time I saw her, I hardly recognized her. She was bitter, and angry, and just.. giving up on the world."

Lexa doesn't say anything. I give her a second to process it all, before I quietly continue, "And that's why I'm not sure we should try again. What if remembering means going back to that very last moment, to that very last memory, right before the fear of-" I can't help but hesitate once again. "-the fear of dying?"

"It does," Lexa slowly nods. "But it's not a bad feeling. Remembering made me feel happy. Of course there was this sadness and unfairness of how I'd got ripped away, but it brought a smile to my face nonetheless. Because..." Tilting her head, she looks up at me through her lashes. "Because more than anything I felt blissful in that very last moment. Because I was with you."

She lifts her hand and tenderly caresses my cheek, following the contour of my jaw and my chin, before resting it on my chest - on my heart.

"My whole life had been about this predestination," she continues. "Being a Natblida, I always felt I simply had to... exist. Exist and play my part. Be this person, this Commander, people expected me to be. I felt like I never lived for me. Until my final hour. Being with you finally made me feel alive."

Not knowing whether to cry or laugh, I lean in and press a soft kiss to her forehead.

"And so did remembering that past?" I ask, my lips grazing against her skin. "It made you feel alive?"

Lexa props up on her elbow and gazes down at me. "Yes," she simply answers. With our eyes locked she brushes a strand of hair from my forehead. "But that wasn't all. As soon as I saw you again, it just hit me. I- I just knew..."

"What?" I breathe.

"I knew that for you I'd die all over again."

Lost for words I just stare at her. Watch how her lips curve into the cutest smile, before she closes the gap between us to kiss me. I open my mouth to kiss her back, and as soon as I do I immediately forget everything around me. There's only one thought left breaking through my clouded mind: I'm home.

One kiss turns into another, and another, quickly changing from sweet to passionate. I can feel my heartbeat rising. Hear our breathing increase. My hands slide up, until they find the lapels of her leather jacket. I scoop it off her shoulders, eager to pull her in again. Yet right when she's about to reconnect our lips, she pulls back and looks around.

With her head less than two feet from the flimsy canvas, and the indistinct chatter of her people within hearing distance, she suddenly seems very aware of where we are... and what we're doing.

As she takes a deep breath, she looks down on me again, a little sheepishly. A soft chuckle escapes me. It's okay. This isn't the time, or the place.

Giggling as well, Lexa rests her head on my shoulder again. I press another kiss on top of her head and pull her a little closer. For a while we just lay like this, blissful and content. But then I remember what we were actually talking about before.

"I'm really glad these recollections haven't hurt you," I break our silence, "But it also kinda proves my point. About Luna, I mean."

I can feel her smile against my skin. "Does your brain ever catch a break?" she hums.

"I'm sorry," I mumble, drawing another laugh from her.

"I'm not!" she chuckles, "You wouldn't be you without your strategic mind. Tell me, what about Luna?"

I sit up, forcing her to do the same, and look at her. "Like I said, she wasn't doing well. She wasn't in a good place, like you. If it's true that you pick up right where you left off, if we bring her back to that place, to that moment... we might change her - the new her - forever."

Lexa raises her brow. "Change her from what though?"

"From someone who is actually happy now? I know, she seemed a bit defensive at the gate, but I reckon everyone would be in this world. And I watched her when she walked away from us, when she let her guard down. She looked comfortable. Relaxed. Like she's... like she's at home."

"And you're afraid we could ruin that?"

"Honestly? Yes," I admit.

She bites her lip, looking pensive.

"You might be right," she nods understandingly, "But you might also underestimate who she is today. Remember how I told you I am as much Alicia as I am Lexa? That really is the deal. It's fifty-fifty. Lexa isn't in control. If she were I'd be in that spaceship of yours right now, back in command."

"You're saying we should trust on... Magna, was it?"

"I'm saying we should take the risk, hoping that I'm right," she says, "If we want to live, like actually live, without constantly having to look over our shoulders, we need protection. We need a wall."

"Even if we might damage her?"

She exhales, her eyes still fixed on mine. "You think it's harsh. But-"

"-that's how we survive?"

I can't suppress a small smile. I'm not the only one who hasn't changed.

"In this case, yes," she lifts her shoulder in a half shrug. "I don't plan on fighting her. I don't want any war. I want to live with them, peacefully, or move on. But I think we should give this a try."

Now I'm the one nodding. I hate to admit it, but I think she's right. "But how though? She remembered neither of us, nor her own past."

"Because we're not the key here," Lexa quietly muses, almost to herself, her eyes now focused onto nothing. "I mean, in my case, yes, some things started to surface when I saw the ship. I got this déjà vu feeling, maybe because the whole spectacle was so absurd, but it wasn't enough. It wasn't until I saw you that it all came back to me."

She looks up at me again. "It was like you were the last one I saw when I closed my eyes, and the first one when I opened them again."

"Well, if that's the case than I'm afraid I have bad news," I sigh.

Lexa sharply inhales, holding her breath for a second. "She got killed, didn't she? Someone did this to her, on purpose?"

I just nod.

"And her killer isn't with you?"

"Oh no, she's with us," I sigh again. "Her killer is Octavia."

... ...