What kind of romantic are you? You can go onto Netflix and watch The Kissing Booth, or- god forbid- Fifty Shades of Grey. Those I guess have all the theoretical elements of a "love story". But for me, nothing can touch the love and passion in the real classics. I didn't know such intimacy existed before reading War and Peace. I couldn't comprehend the adoration in Pride and Prejudice. Just listen to this prose: "He stepped down, trying not to look at her, as if she were the sun. Yet he saw her, like the sun, even without looking." (Leo Tolstoy) That to me, is more romantic than anything in modern media. We've spent so much time together, so I'm sure you already know: the man of my dreams does not caress my body with his hands; he touches my heart with his words.

"What's your favorite thing in the world, Peter?" "Favorite thing? Huh, haven't given it much thought before." Peter and I were sitting outside the high school's main building on the field. We were fortunate enough to have one spare together in our second term of grade eleven. This was after he and Gen had started dating, but she didn't mind us hanging out alone during spare. She knew I'd never try anything, despite my feelings; and she was right. Still, I was glad to have this time with Peter. As it would later be the case with Josh and Margot, I didn't mind if he was available or not; I just wanted him near me, friend or otherwise.

I was half expecting him to say "Gen", since she was his girlfriend now; oh, the high school logic. Instead, he just stared up at the sky ponderingly. He just had chemistry, so his brain was a little tired. While he laid down, I sat up twiddling pieces of grass in my fingers. As a matter of fact, I don't think I could answer my question either. What was my favorite thing in the whole world? I guess it would have to be something I couldn't live without. But what was that? My family was the obvious answer, but I had something else in mind. Though I had no clue what that was. Maybe something I used every day or really loved, but what?

Peter waited for me to say something else, only to speak when I didn't. "What's yours?" "Funny, I was just thinking about it and I don't know. It's actually kind of a hard question to answer." "Ugh, we have enough to think about with school," his hand gave a nonchalant wave as his eyes wandered back up to the sky. "Why don't we just watch the clouds or something?" "Cloud-watch?" I giggled, peering over at him. "What's wrong with that? It's mindless; we need the rest of our brain power for next period." "That's true…." Without realizing, I found myself observing Peter's face, his peaceful expression. I adored his image so much that I could resketch it in my mind from scratch. He wasn't actually smiling at the moment; I liked his face best when he smiled. He looked so glorious when he smiled….

"Covey?" "Huh?!" My spine immediately perked up; I suppose I let my mind wander off again. "You got really quiet just now." "Oh, sorry! I was… thinking." "About what?" Ugh, why'd he have to ask me that? I couldn't lie to him; well, I could, but I shouldn't! Not to Peter. Still, what was I supposed to say? That I'm thinking about how gorgeous he is when he smiles? Hahaha- no. "Oh, nothing much; just things… things I like." "Like what?" Nice going, Aerity. "How… people look when they're happy."

"How people look when they're happy? That makes you happy?" Peter chuckled, still staring up at the endless sky. I looked back at him and already knew the answer. "Yes." "You're a weird one, Covey." "I guess so…" My gaze rolled out in front of me, off into nowhere. Maybe it is a bit weird, but it's still true. I can't deny how happy it makes me, how beautiful Peter looks when he's happy; when he grins…. But I can't tell him that; no, I can't tell him. He wouldn't understand, especially now that he's dating Gen. It wouldn't be right. This is one thing I must keep to myself; how I feel when Peter smiles.

I hadn't noticed the quiet lull that came over us. Lost in my own array of thoughts, I unthinkingly turned my head suddenly and surprisingly caught Peter looking at me. He was smiling then…. My eyes started to widen as this indescribable feeling engulfed my entire being. It was like I was suddenly given the most enormous, precious present. Something I wanted to treasure, to hold onto with all my might. Our stares locked for a minute or so, until Peter broke the wonderful silence with a lighthearted chuckle.

"What?" "You're smiling," my mouth blurred out, making me sound like a complete idiot. Peter watched me for another moment before widening his grin. "Course I'm smiling; I'm looking at you." That was the first memory I have of my heart actually skipping a beat. I was so stunned that I couldn't move. Peter wasn't immobile however, stretching his arms and resting his head back on the grass. His eyes gently shut to let his whole face absorb the bright, warm afternoon sun. "This feels so good." Another brilliant, supremely perfect smile. "Peter?" My throat managed to push up; I was still in a state of mild shock. "This better not be about my smile," he laughed and opened his eyes up to me. I simply, naturally stared….. I soaked in the essence, the aura of this impeccable man. His grin grew again- softly, painlessly. "I'm still wearing that smile you gave me," he told me; he said, and I felt like I was going to cry.

Josh and I watched as Peter emerged from his jeep. Josh stood up to greet him, giving him a welcoming nod, which Peter mirrored. "Hey man. Margot get on her plane alright?" "Yeah, she got through security just fine." "Thanks, bro," Josh sighed lightly. "Where's Kitty?" I asked, glancing up at the two; I was still sitting on the porch. "Ah, she wanted me to drop her off at the mall. She's gonna meet some friends who will drive her home later." "Ok, thank you," well that was good to know.

After watching me for a second, Peter blinked back over to Josh. Once again, the held a private conversation with their eyes; probably about our previous exchange. A moment later or so, Peter's head gave a tender, almost grateful nod to Josh. He responded with a small grin and relaxed body posture. "Thanks, Sanderson." "Sure thing, Kavinsky." Uh….. huh; what was that all about? I pondered gazing from one to another. They then shook hands and Josh turned down to face me. "I'll see you tonight, Aerity." "W-wait? You're leaving?" "Yeah. Peter wants… I mean I think you two need to have a talk." Oh…. ok? Still smiling, Josh's hand reached over to caress my cheek. "Bye, Aerity." "Uh, ok? See you tonight then, Josh." He made his exit, leaving me and Peter alone.

Once Josh was gone, Peter waited a second before sitting down on the porch beside me. He didn't speak right away, just clasping his hands and gazing off out in front of him considering. I wanted to say something but couldn't shake this feeling that I should wait; wait and let him talk first. So I did, patiently sitting there and peering over at him from time to time. He finally drew in a deep, long breath a couple of moments later.

"How… how do you feel?" "Better. My fever's gone." "That's good…." He didn't sound happy, still glowering off into nothing in particular. "Uh, Peter?" "Listen, Aerity," he interrupted me quietly. Aerity? Boy, he only calls me that when it's serious. Knowing that, I listened intently, waiting for him to gather all of his thoughts. "I'm so…. I'm so sorry. What happened at the party, it's my fault…." "What? No, it's not, Peter. It's not anyone's fault, except for that stupid jerk," who I can't remember the name of. "You're wrong; it is all my fault. I promised that I'd be there for you, that I wouldn't let anything happen to you." "You can't promise something like that; no one can. It's impossible to keep. It was unfortunate, but there's no point in blaming yourself…. I don't blame you." "Covey…." Peter peaked over to me in the corner of his eye.

"It's not your fault, Peter. Please don't think it is." "Well, maybe. Even if it's not, it's just… what kind of boyfriend am I if I can't protect you? That shouldn't have happened; not with me there." Boyfriend? My eyebrow perked up. Doesn't he mean "fake-boyfriend"? "But you did protect me; you took such good care of me once you found me. You even came out into the ocean to get me. No one's ever done anything like that for me before." "That doesn't count. I was acting on instinct." "That's why it does count. How many boyfriends have instinct to take care of their girlfriends like that?" I retorted tenderly. "Yeah, well I….." But he couldn't think of a good rebuttal; he merely sat there, watching me now for a good minute. Just one minute mind you.

"Be that as it may, I'm still really sorry. I'm the one who invited you to the party; I'm the reason Gen harassed you; I'm the one who didn't save you on the beach….." "You are the one who got me out, who warmed me up, and who hasn't left my side for the past three days. You came just in time before I got seriously sick or worse…." Another brief pause slipped into the conversation, giving me time to smile to myself. Peter noticed this right away, though didn't verbally address it. "The fact that you came for me at all. You….. have no idea what that means to me," my grin grew as I turned to face Peter straight on. Not all men are dangerous predators, not all men want to hurt me; I can say that definitively now. Josh used to be the only exception, but not anymore. I can start to open my heart up once again. It's safe physically enough for me now to trust again, to love…. "You came for me; that's enough," a single tear rolled down my cheek, joining the dry ones left over from Josh earlier.

I suddenly felt my hand being lifted up. My watery eyes blinked in surprise to see Peter holding my hand dearly in his. "P-Peter?" "You say that, but it doesn't feel like enough. Not for you…" Peter…. This man. "Covey?" "Yes?" This wonderful, wonderful man. "I think…. I think I'm in love with you." The man with the superlatively glorious smile; a smile that could make my heart stop. "…. Yes," that's all I could think to reply. Yes; if I had any doubts before the trip, they were all gone now. He loved me, it was there now…. Our eyes met each other's again. I could see it in that smile of his.

We stayed like that for a long time afterwards. Back in high school, Peter probably would have at least expected me to say "I love you" in return. But not now. I knew him and he wasn't going to rush me into anything. That's one of the many things I adored about Peter Kavinsky: above all, he wanted me to feel comfortable and take my time. In that instant, I felt like I had won the lottery boyfriend-wise. He'd wait patiently for me, just like Josh did. No rush, no pressure; just his love for me. Yep; somehow, I won the lottery. And all without buying a ticket.

After a while, Peter grinned and brought my hand up to his lips where he kissed it repeatedly. This made me smile- a true, honest smile. Then he lowered it, stilling holding on, to look me in the eye. "Covey." "Peter." "Stay with me." "Always," I didn't even have to think; it was right there in my mind. Peter's strong arms proceeded to wrap around me, pressing me tight up against him. I held him back, nuzzling my face into his shoulder. Man, he smelt good. And Peter must have thought the same. I felt him take a deep sniff of my hair; I could also practically feel his eyes shut in the most tender, most passionate way. "You smell like flowers." Peter… My own eyes gently closed as I held him as near to me as humanly possible. "Always, Peter."

Always.