a/n: Hi! This chapter is in bits and pieces because, well. That's how I wrote it. I couldn't get into a decent flow for it and I think it shows. They're basically a few short scenes that were stitched together. This was kind of hard for me to write, but I hope you enjoy it!

Rage

"I miss you already."

Shikamaru's voice was low and quiet as he whispered in Temari's ear.

Work had been unusually slow for some reason so they ended the day early and took to the Nara Forest for a late lunch. After finishing their meals, the two of them decided to stay hidden from their friends in the lush forest for the rest of the evening.

Temari couldn't have asked for a more perfect day. The sun was shining and the was a mild breeze rustling in the trees. The foliage allowed just the right amount of sunlight to spill through as they sat at the base of a trunk for shade. The wild grass underneath them was soft and plush. Aside from the occasional singing bird, the only sound they could hear was the soft whistling of the wind.

The traditional green jonin vest that Shikamaru had tossed aside earlier blended in with the grass that surrounded them. Now that he was only in his black undershirt, she could feel the definition of his chest and abdomen pressed against her spine. The weight of his arms was heavier than she expected as they draped around her waist. He had fallen asleep with his head against her neck while she was reading a book on political philosophies. The area in the lower corner of her ear was moist from his breathing, but she didn't mind it. Every now and then, he would exhale a little harder than usual. The sensation of his breath grazing her ear forced her to resist the urge to shudder each time so that she wouldn't wake him from his slumber.

She must have fidgeted a lot more than she had thought since he was awake now.

"But… I'm still here," Temari replied. Her weight shifted in his lap as she closed her book and angled her head to look at him. She still had a few days left in Konoha while they prepared the roster and challenges for the next chunin exam. How could he possibly miss her before she had even left?

Shikamaru tightened the hold he had around her waist. He pulled her closer against him and buried his face deeper into her neck. He pressed his lips against her skin and remained quiet.

"That's the worst," he mumbled into her nape after some time. "To miss someone when they're right in front of you."

"What do you mean?" She asked, fumbling with the hem of her yukata.

"I miss you the most when you're here because I know that you'll eventually have to leave," he sighed, causing the loose strands of her hair to sway with his breath.

Temari couldn't help but smile to herself. She had barely just arrived and he was already thinking about her departure. He was too smart for his own good. Who knew that being dozens of steps ahead all the time would be so, as he would put it, troublesome?

Yukimura watched the Suna Princess from his desk that was placed right outside her office.

Temari was looking down at documents in her hands but the way her stillness in her eyes told him that her mind was elsewhere.

She had just finished her weekly routine. Every Thursday, she would travel to different sectors of Suna, surveying villagers to learn of their quality of life and whether any infrastructure needed improvement. She was always patient and she was always fair. Because of her sharp tongue and intimidating demeanor, no one dared to take advantage of her. It was important to her that she talked to all the residents and local vendors each time. She'd always listen diligently to what they had to say and then she'd report everything back to Gaara.

Mitsunari was leaning his forehead against the window on the opposite end of the room. His mouth was twisted in a small frown as he blankly stared out the window. The whistling of the kunai he was spinning around his index finger was the only sound echoing in the space around them.

"Go eat," Temari suddenly commanded. She stood up from her seat and walked past them. "I'll see you two after dinner," she added as she took her exit from the room.

The two men nodded and watched her until she was completely out of their sights.

They were also on speaking terms now.

It was now the end of September, making it three full months since her return from Konoha. Though she still hasn't entirely warmed up to Yukimura and Mitsunari yet, she was no longer seething at the sight of them. The friction between the two parties grew to be too exhausting to keep up.

It started with her approaching Mitsunari about training together. Although Mitsunari was of average height, he was skinnier and lankier than most men. His smaller size made him a great training partner for her. They would just spar at first, never exchanging as much as a word until she caught him off guard one day when she asked him a question about his technique. From that day on, she would only talk to him if she wanted his advice on her taijutsu. Their conversations never strayed from that and it appeared that both parties preferred that way.

Then, just last month, Yukimura had initiated a conversation with her out of the blue. She was reading a book on military tactics and he happened to an avid follower of the strategist. He asked for her opinion on the book, catching both the Suna Princess and Mitsunari off guard. His intention was to slowly cut through the lingering tension between them, but he was also curious about what she had to say as well. Though he had originally assumed that she was handed the role as one of Suna's leading strategists because of her lineage, he soon came to learn that she was, in fact, a brilliant tactician who most certainly earned her position in the office.

He remembered how Temari looked at him as if he had just swallowed a frog right in front of her. She made no attempt to hide the suspicion in her voice as she answered his question. He continued to occasionally engage in these discussions with her. She was always slow to respond and carefully chose her words. She made sure to never overshare her thoughts and kept herself from being too friendly with Yukimura in the most respectable way possible.

"What's with her today?" Mitsunari's voice broke the silence once Temari was gone. "She seems… distracted."

Yukimura responded with a shrug as he set aside the documents in his hand. "Maybe she's tired," he said after a few seconds. "She does do a lot of work."

"Yeah," Mitsunari replied as his eyes scanned the towers of paperwork on Temari's desk. He slumped against the wall before turning back to Yukimura. "If I had to be honest with you, these brats aren't as incompetent as Tojuro makes them out to be," he admitted.

"They're not," Yukimura agreed. "They are fair and the villagers appear to be very content with Gaara and his siblings."

Yukimura never had any reason to harbor any resentment towards Temari or her brothers. Though he was there under orders to secure Tojuro's hold on the Suna council, he couldn't see why he had to be hostile or insincere in his approach. If anything, he found the Kazekage clan quite fair and respectable when it came to managing their village. Despite their young age, they were wise and kind to their people. They've yet to do anything that supported any of Tojuro's accusations.

Mitsunari nodded and turned to look out the window again. While he was never the one to care for rules, he knew Yukimura was a stickler for them. Yukimura valued justice and honor, things that Mitsunari found bland and boring. After spending the past few months with the Sand Siblings, they've learned that the Kazekage family was neither corrupt nor were they ignorant. They were fully capable of their roles and Tojuro's plan to infiltrate them appeared more and more like a greedy fight for power with each passing day.

"Are you still going to follow through with Tojuro's plan? He is your great uncle after all…" Mitsunsari asked quietly.

Yukimura lowered his eyes as he thought about Mitsunari's question.

Although she now tolerated them, it wasn't enough for his uncle. Tojuro was growing impatient. Temari had to trust him. He needed her open up to him. He tried to convince his uncle that the level of trust he wanted from the Princess would not come easily, but it was of no use. Tojuro continued to dismiss Temari as "just another foolish woman" and that it shouldn't be this challenging.

Removing Gaara from power would be met with great resistance and Temari would never simply agree with immediately removing her brother as Kazekage, even for her own child. Tojuro's plan was impulsive and reckless and Yukimura wouldn't put it past him to turn to violence if he needed to.

He wasn't sure if he necessarily agreed with his uncle. They had just barely escaped a world war. Jumping straight into a civil war was unnecessary.

"I don't know," he finally answered.

"You're going to have to hurry up and decide," Mitsunari sighed. "The other villages are arriving tomorrow. Tojuro is going forward with staging an attack and blaming it on the Kazekage this weekend."

Yukimura stared down at his fists and remained silent. Mitsunari was right. He needed to make that decision soon.

"The Hokage and the Konoha shinobi have arrived," Baki announced to the Kazekage's office the next morning.

Temari's mind was preoccupied with the preparations for Suna's festival taking place the following day, and it took her several moments to process Baki's words. She stared at the paperwork in her hand a moment longer before looking up. It wasn't as if this was a surprise to her. In fact, the extra make-up under her eyes was evidence that she had lost sleep over anticipating this very moment.

All the other Kages and large populations of their villagers will be arriving in Suna that day so that can settle in before tomorrow's events. Konoha was the first to arrive and she knew Shikamaru would be upfront with the Hokage himself. The thought of it made her stomach churn.

"Temari, are you coming?" Kankuro's voice interrupted thoughts. He was waiting for her with his back against the doorway of the now empty room.

"Yes," she said and cleared her throat. "Sorry, was just wrapping up this last task."

Kankuro arched a brow at her and waited until she caught up with him by the door before speaking, "You're always working super hard, sis. Have some fun today."

Fun.

Right.

There was nothing fun about the way her stomach was doing acrobatic flips right now.

She was a nervous wreck.

He was in her sights the moment she joined Gaara at the gate with Kankuro.

Behind her was a bustling plaza full of shouting vendors but the adrenaline pumping in her veins muted everything around her. The thumping of her heartbeat was the only thing she was able to hear as he made his way towards them with the Hokage. There were other familiar faces amongst the Konoha-nin, but she only saw him.

They fell into their own conversation after everyone exchanged their formal greetings. He told her, "you look well," and she replied with a, "thanks, you too." Small talk will always be unusual for them. It was something that neither of them had time for nor was it ever necessary. They were always able to speak comfortably and freely with one another. The fact that they were doing it now made her rather uncomfortable.

How did they go from being sharing their most intimate secrets to this?

Baki called for her, his authoritative voice cutting through the tension in the air around them. She flashed him a nervous smile as she excused her from their stiff conversation. The anxiety bubbling within her from not knowing what to say subsided as she made her way towards her childhood mentor.

He tasked her with ensuring that all the accommodations for the other villages were in place. It kept her busy and away from Shikamaru for most of the day.

Her eyes looked for him the handful of times she found herself amongst all the guests.

He always managed to find her first. She'd find him, only to see that he was already looking at her. It happened like that every time without fail. It was as if he had her on a radar she didn't know about.

Fortunately for her, she was too busy and never had enough time to linger under his watchful eyes.

She wouldn't know what to do if stayed a moment longer.

It wasn't until nightfall during the banquet that Temari was able to catch a break. The busy day and the anxious feeling of being around Shikamaru overstimulated her senses so she hid on a balcony in a quieter end of the grand hall. Desperate for a moment to recharge herself, she welcomed the stillness of the night. Her sternum pressed against the obi that was tightly wrapped around her waist as she sighed into the wind.

She turned over her shoulder to peer at the party through the archway. The energy was high with everyone laughing and smiling as they caught on lost time with one another. Mitsunari and Yukimura lingered close by. They were far enough to give her privacy but close enough just to keep her in within their sights.

The wind subsided for a brief moment, allowing Temari to feel the heat on her cheeks. She had been too busy for a proper meal and her stomach was empty. The handful of appetizers she forced herself to eat wasn't doing much to soak up the five glasses of wine she had gulped down in the past hour. Perhaps that was for the better because she found success in her attempt to drown the nervous feeling that had been tearing at her stomach all day.

"For being a diplomat, you sure do spend a lot of time not talking to your guests."

It was Shikamaru.

Temari resisted the urge to groan.

The alcohol was still circulating more aggressively in her system than she'd like. She knew that could lead to a lot of poor decision making, especially when it came to him. She wasn't ready to face him yet.

She wasn't sure if she would ever be ready to face him.

His footsteps echoed in the night sky as he continued to approach her.

Six.

It took him six paces until he was close enough that she could feel the heat radiating from his body against her spine. The familiar smell of cedar and cigarettes filled her nostrils. Something about his scent stirred a primal desire within her. The sudden need to press her body against his so that she could smell his scent directly off his skin suddenly overwhelmed her.

Temari closed her eyes and pulled her bottom lip between her teeth. She bit down hard, inhaling sharply as she fought off the urge to touch him. As she exhaled, she spun around on her heel to look him in the eye. There was less than a foot of space between them. Though there was a decent amount of space between them, they were still much to close for her own comfort.

"I'm just making sure everything is in place so that my guests would feel accommodated," she replied, surprising herself with how steady her voice was. The way his breath brushed against her mouth as he exhaled forced her to tear her teal eyes off his to look down at his full lips.

Had they always look this soft and inviting?

She cleared her throat before locking eyes with him again, "Besides, everyone here sees me all the time since I'm always the one traveling. I'm sure they're more interested in Kankuro and Gaara right now."

"I'm not," he replied without taking his eyes off her.

Temari was relieved that her cheeks were already red from the wine because she was now blushing furiously. There was no point in asking aimless questions, she knew he meant that he'd much rather talk to her.

This wasn't good. They were not supposed to be flirting. Why did he have to make this so hard?

Temari blamed him for getting being so inebriated. She could smell the liquor in his breath. He had been drinking.

A lot.

Her eyes caught the light as she looked him over. He was moving slower than usual and there was a little sway in this step every time he shifted his weight. If that wasn't telling enough of just how drunk he was, then the heavy lids that hung over his bloodshot eyes definitely would.

"I know, I know. My presence is in great demand," she tried to laugh lightheartedly, hoping the joke would help anchor herself from being pull into his gravity.

There was a hint of laughter in the breath that escaped Shikamaru. Bringing a glass of scotch to his lips, he turned his head to stare into the view of Suna over the balcony.

Her hands traced the railing behind as she took a side step away from him. Once she was at a more comfortable distance away from him, she crossed her arms and lean in the direction he was facing. "So, how have you been?" She asked as she stared into the distance.

"Busy," he answered her before taking a swig. "Trying to stay busy at least," he admitted immediately after.

"That's unusual for you," she winked.

"Tch," he scoffed at her before pulling out his cigarettes from their usual place on his flak jacket.

And just like that, they were back to their usual banter.

Temari watched him light the rolled-up tobacco. The stale smell of booze still clung heavily to his breath when he exhaled.

"Did you engage in a drinking game with my brother and Kiba or something?" She asked, raising one neatly manicured eyebrow at him.

"What do you mean?" He muttered with the cigarette between his teeth, slipping the small cardboard package back into his vest.

"You smell worse than oldest bar in Suna," she answered, a half-smile appearing on her lips.

"Hmph," he smirked at her again. His slender fingers took the cigarette from his mouth. Another cloud of smoke rolled over his lips when he exhaled. "Suna actually have old bars? I didn't think you guys did anything fun back then."

Temari shot him a questioning look. They made fun of each other all the time, but never once had he made comments about her village. This was new.

It caught her off guard.

"Not everyone grew up with the luxury of only drinking for fun," she replied cautiously. "Some people drink to cope with their demons."

He responded with a quiet grunt.

"Well then," she began when she realized that he wasn't going to say anything else. "Why are you drinking? For fun? Or are you chasing some demons away with that triple serving of scotch in your glass?"

Shikamaru emitted a small smile. He wanted to tell her he was just as nervous as she appeared to be around him. It was hard for both of them to go back to being friends because they were never really "just friends." They knew it. Everyone around them knew it. There was always something going on between them.

Drinking made it hard for him to keep his thoughts aligned, so he drank until he couldn't think anymore.

But he didn't tell her that.

There was a moment of silence before he finally responded to her.

"The past few days were really long," he sighed.

"What? Is traveling to and from Suna too hard for you, cry-baby? You know I used to take that route at least once a month," she scoffed.

"Yes, but you're you. You're the 'greatest wind user in the world.' With a title like that, you absolutely have to be tough."

"And you're a world-renown strategist," she returned his compliment.

"Exactly, I'm all brains," he glanced over at her and tapped his temple with his index and middle finger. "You're the muscle," he said, pointing at her.

Temari laughed, flashing him that brilliant smile of hers. She still found him funny. It stirred up a bit of pride inside him.

Shikamaru turned back to look over Suna. Another moment of silence past before he spoke again, "I don't know how you do it."

"What? The traveling? It's not that bad," she shrugged.

"No, Suna," he grumbled before taking another drag from his cigarette.

Temari swore there was a hint of bitterness in his voice. "What do you mean?"

"It's so goddamn hot and walking on sand is a work out on its own."

Temari was caught off guard.

There was it was again. That condescending tone while talking about her village.

"That's probably why Suna is known to have the most disciplined shinobi," she sneered back at him. "We don't complain as much as you guys do about trivial things."

"That's because you guys don't know how to relax," he replied nonchalantly.

Shikamaru was dangerously working on her last nerve.

She was now glaring at him now. What was his deal? Why was he berating her about Suna all of a sudden?

"I mean look your traditions," he added when she didn't say anything. He pulled out another cigarette and lit it up before continuing. "Even the Hyuga clan did away with their old backward customs and you guys are still concerned about heirs."

Temari's face softened, but just only by a little bit.

So that's what was bothering him.

Still, being drunk gave him no right to insult Suna.

"Traditions are stale and troublesome," he muttered. His speech was starting to slur now.

"Some people value tradition," she shot back at him.

"Like you?"

"Of course. So what? Suna shinobi are known to pursue their goals passionately and we value our traditions. There's nothing wrong with that."

"You're passionate about producing heirs?"

Temari bit her lip, but she didn't answer him.

Of course, he would bring that up.

"Is that what you want?" He pressed on.

"It's what's best for my village."

"Is it what's best for you?"

Temari fell silent again. She was appalled. Were all Konoha shinobi this self-centered?

"Suna shinobi are indeed known for pursuing their goals relentlessly... even at the cost of death. What's the point of being successful if you're just going to end up sacrificing your life," he added.

"Enough. You're drunk and speaking so ignorantly like this does not suit you," she said to him coldly.

"I'm just behind honest," Shikamaru mumbled shrugged. When he finally turned to look at her again, he saw that her entire body was now facing him. Her chest was moving rapidly as she fought to steady her breathing and remain calm, but the storm in her eyes told him she was everything but.

"It's easy to talk about your Will of Fire when you were handed a cushioned life on a silver platter," she spat angrily at him. "Your village had everything, wealth, resources, and enough powerful bloodlines to easily wipe our existence off this planet, which they almost did by the way. No matter how much harder we worked than you, we were always trailing behind because of the things we lacked. We have to make sacrifices in order to build things that last, something you know nothing about," she added.

Shikamaru didn't say anything. He only stared back at her.

"I'm sorry you're upset that we can't be together, but how dare you step foot into my village and insult it. I'm not happy about this either but I'm not lashing out at your village! And yet... you dare disrespect mine like this. Shikamaru, may I remind you that I am a product of this place that you find so awful? I am who I am because of Suna, as are my brothers and my people. If that is your opinion of Suna then that is a reflection of your opinion of us!"

Her words were sobering him up.

After their brief encounter that morning, he had spent the rest of the day wandering around Suna with his friends. While they excited explored the place, he searched for flaws to pick at. He hated the uncomfortable heat. He didn't care for all the sand. He detested the outdated customs and traditions that kept them apart. He hated that council that is forcing her to wed someone else just for the sake of bearing a child.

So yes, he wasn't a fan of Suna at all.

But those were selfish reasons and he had just completely insulted her and her village in his drunken state.

He knew he fucked up.

Shit.

"Temari..." Shikamaru started to say, but she cut him off.

"Both Konoha and Suna have made a lot of mistakes over the past few generations. Still, we moved on from them and in our own different ways. My village is finally thriving and my brother is loved by our people. That's all I've ever wanted. If you think for one second that I would put a silly lazy boy before my own village, then you are sadly mistaken. If I had to die in the next minute for Suna, I wouldn't think twice about it. I know you would do the same for Konoha so don't you dare insult my home," she declared.

She paused. Green eyes flashed at him as she shot him a dangerous glare.

In that moment of silence, he suddenly noticed the way the wind was starting to howl around them. It thrashed angrily against his ears, almost as if it was responding to the rage inside of her.

Shikamaru's jaw fell open. He tried to say something, but nothing came out.

His genius mind was failing him.

"I would try to sober up if I were you," she said, pushing past him. Her voice was chilling. "Consider yourself lucky I won't be reporting the hostile feelings of Konoha's chief advisor to the Suna council," she added over her shoulder before disappearing into the party.

Even though she was no longer in his sight, Shikamaru continued to blankly stare in the direction in which she took off. A familiar taste of rust suddenly coated his tongue. Apparently, he had bit down on it hard enough to draw blood.

A little too late to bite your tongue now, you goddamn idiot.

Shikamaru hastily turned away from the party and polished off his drink. The liquor stung the wound on his tongue as it washed over the blood.

He took one final drag from his cigarette before crushing it between his fingers aggressively flicking it into the street beneath him.

"Fuck!"

Ahhh, I know you guys were anticipating their reunion... And I gave you a fight. Oops.

I originally thought this was a little out of character for Shikamaru, but then I remember the way he viewed women as a kid and can now see how even someone as smart as him can be completely clueless.

I think the next chapter should be an easy write-up, so I hope I can get it to you guys soon. Thank you for all your support and patience.

I started a new fic called Secrets. I think it's starting off a little slow, but I think it'll pick up soon. It's more light-hearted and fluffy, probably will be more smutty and just a lot more fun and sassy overall in my opinion. Please check it out if have time!

Also, I created a tumblr but FF won't let me link it in my bio for some reason! It's mostly ShikaTema content but I would love to hear from and interact with you guys on there. My username is the same: lilacfang {dot} tumblr {dot} com