Part 2, Reflection (Act I: "Blood of the Covenant")
"You will never be strong enough
You will never be good enough
You were never conceived in love
You will not rise above"
They'll never see
I'll never BE
I'll struggle on and on to feed this hunger
burning deep inside of me
But through my tears breaks a blinding light
Birthing a dawn to this endless night
Arms outstretched, Awaiting me
An open embrace upon a bleeding tree
Rest in me and I'll comfort you
I've lived and I've died for you
Abide in me and I'll vow to you
I' will never forsake you
-From Evanescence's "Lies"
…
Even for the First One, this was unlike any of her previous undertakings – She would not simply be sharing her light and life with yet another little offshoot, but looking to create another like herself, with similar capabilities:
Light from light, true divinity from true divinity, a true offspring more than yet another creation, a being that could rule at her side, and possibly in her stead, if her own existence ever were to cease.
To that end, she selected a fresh, virgin planet with large deposits of carbon. Her armies had taken control of it, cleared the perimeter and secured the surrounding space, but as of yet, not a single injector had been drilled into its crust. It remained completely untouched, save for a single scouting expedition that had been sent down to the surface in order to confirm what their remote scanners had told them, and what their Diamond had known at first glance.
They returned with proud, gleeful faces and several enormous lumps of shimmering coal which the mission's commander had lifted into her Diamond's chambers before making a couple of her subordinates inspect it before their sovereign's eyes.
Is was as black as their Queen's own lips, and for a moment, she almost allowed herself to be pleased – little did they know that this was the last time they would be trusted with any important mission.
The word on the streets would be that they had been made to disappear to protect the new Diamond's secrets, but that was only half the truth.
They still counted herself lucky when they were standing in the palace ship's throne room, extolling the planet's suitability.
The entirety of its surface was covered with lush, vibrant jungles, both as a consequence of its extraordinary rich soils, and a contributing factor that had contributed to the dense layers of fossil carbon that caked the planets' crust.
Had it not been marked for destruction, this viridian world may have come to be known as one of this galaxy's most dazzling jewels, but now, its fate was sealed.
Once an entire fleet had been posted in its perimeter under orders not to suffer a single ship to pass through, it was time for construction to begin, but these were not the usual trappings of establishing a new colony – instead, all their efforts were focused on a single point, where they were to erect a large, monolithic tower whose shimmering black outline glowed eerily with carved, hermetic symbols, not a building, but a single, enormous device that extended at least twice as far below as it reached upward into the cloud covers. It could be considered a larger, more ornate variant of an injector, but with quite a few significant modifications unrelated to its size – the 'queen cup' so to speak.
At its very top, which by the time of its completion, reached a height at which the atmosphere would have begun to thin out, one could have found the enormous domed chamber that contained what was to be its payload, and right they were to build the faceted dome with such generous dimensions, for their patroness would not be dissuaded from inspecting the contents herself.
There was a crucible in the center of the room, or perhaps a furnace, topped off with an enormous circular hatch and surrounded by control panels that were sized with respect to the gems that operated them (at a later point, they might have been Peridots, but that entire class of gem was a much later invention)
None of the instruments reached past the Diamond's ankles, but she was not here to operate them – instead, she was peering down at the materials gathered in the capsule which, for her, reached up to her waist, the 'gelee royale', as it were.
No expense had been spared to perfect the mixture, but the most important ingredient was still missing.
The usual effusions wouldn't do – for this, her essence had to be as pure as it could be.
Concealed in the folds of her dress, she had brought with her an ancient ritual blade, not quite as venerable as herself but old enough to hold its own, particular magic. To supplement it with her own, she briefly touched its hilt to her gem; Then, she rolled up the right sleeve of her dress until she had exposed her elbow, another strip of pristine translucent crystal filled up with a bright internal glow.
After appraising it for a moment, she held her long, elegant limb out in front of her, and, most crucially, above the still-opened hatch.
Then, she gripped the implement she had brought tightly in her other hand, and slashed, and twisted, until she could no longer fight off a grimace and had to employ a bit of willpower to keep her form sustained.
She released a small, chunky trickle, thought it might as well have been a torrential waterfall from the perspective of a smaller creature – a donation of concentrated liquid light, still blinding, yet somehow iridescent.
She would not touch the gash directly and risk getting the substance on her fingers, but she moved her tool around to get a good amount of it – She could not afford to spare any expenses with this.
For good measure, she even threw in the dagger itself – Once she summoned the technicians back in and ordered them to commence the process, it should get broken down into its basic components.
That, she did not do until her form was done closing up and the sleeve of her dress back in place. What could bleed might die, and she must not be seen displaying anything that could even remotely be construed as a weakness.
Instead, she took the time to close down the hatch with a stroking, almost affectionate motion. Soon, she hoped that her eyes would finally behold other perfection shining back at her in a most faithful mirror -
And what a spectacle it was, to see everything on that planet draining away at once, all plants of the jungle shedding their leaves in an instant, and crumbling away in the next, along with whatever creatures had found a home between their branches, to see its wild rivers run dry and its proud mountains collapse, and all of that so swiftly that she could see the planet's colors fading right before her eyes as she watched from orbit.
Had the experiment been a failure, this would have been the end of it, but from the mighty, continent-sized cracks spreading across the crumbling planet's surface and the faint glow beneath, it was apparently that something was taking place within the devastated globe.
She could feel it, even as the upper layers of the crust burned themselves out and fell silent.
These were merely the opening rites of course-
It would be many thousands of years before the fruit of her labor would be ripe for the picking.
But when it was, she knew to be there. The kindergartners had given her a margin of error that encompassed several decades, but she was certain in her conviction.
She awaited her offspring in the silence of space, watching from orbit, nestled in some angle of her ship but holding on to its outside, from where she intended to descend towards the surface in person in order to greet her counterpart.
Sure enough, the dried-out husk of the planet was already quaking as something inside its outline shifted – for so long now, every part of its crumbling shell had been silent, its long-lost opulence forgotten by all.
Now, life was stirring within its bounds once again, but it was a foreign, vampiric kind of life fated to crack it open like an egg in celebration of its violent birth -
And what a beautiful thing it would be, that instead of feeding the wild growth that had lived rampant here, it should be refined into part of a completely flawless being and serve to sustain her forever – or so she thought.
When the planet finally burst, it did so from the inside, shot through with pillars of blinding pillars – but already, the First One's face had soured.
One moment ago, she had been beaming widely, both literally and in terms of her facial expression, brimming with expectation for what was to come and reveling in her power of creation.
But when her wish finally came to pass and bathed the surrounding space in gleaming light and long dark shadows, she understood at a glance.
How could she not?
The light was wan, fallow, tinted, like a mother star seen through the dense layers of an atmosphere -
It was the lightest, brightest of all colors, but a color nonetheless, a mosaic of deficiency and overabundance, a note that was off-key, all the more taunting precisely because of tantalizingly close it had come to perfection only to fall glaringly short in the end -
And it only grew harder to ignore.
From the dark full of dust and debris, a light shone, a thundering, cackling, cascading gale of force and eminence and power and might,
but it was all for naught, already wasted and damned, written-off and discounted before there had ever been a chance.
The blast itself evaporated a good half of the debris field, and at its heart, a girl grew.
In vain did she crash onto some foothold, in vain did she stand at attention as her maker descended before her with a lightness and elegance that belied her colossal proportions, sparkling cape trailing behind her, ornate sandals touching down on frozen rivers of molten rock that had solidified into glass without leaving a single dent where the younger Diamond's landing had left a spiderweb of cracks.
They had met on a small asteroid, little more than a fine shard of a world that had once been, but it was large and stable enough to admit them for the moment, and so, the elder being stepped closer to scrutinize her handiwork – and cringed.
She was so displeased she wanted to scream.
She felt like wailing, raging, tearing, and she wanted to smash up the life she had worked so hard to bring forth -
For it had come so painfully, excruciatingly close to perfection she sought after, only to fall short in the end, so much like herself, and yet not like her at all.
She struggled then, to describe the wretch whom she had created, beyond her revolting jaundiced radiance, so obvious now, so clear, so intense and narrow a spectrum like the light from a pure sodium flame, so jarring her gradations of dark amber, so murky and muddied a mirror –
Sure enough, the first one could see the resemblance in her hard, jagged edges, her long, narrow stature, her mature, opulent features, her piercing gaze and even those familiar little forelocks cutting into her cheeks -
But there was nothing of elegance in her.
The elder was not greeted by a reflection of her own serenity, but a hard dearth of expression.
She already knew what she was supposed to be of course, and to those ends, the young gem had chosen for herself a sleek, functional form with a practical short hairstyle and heavy boots.
Perchance, this was her idea of what a leader was supposed to look like, if they could be called ideas, having been derived not from experience she didn't have, but based solely on the general knowledge that had been pre-programed into her gemstone.
Massive and monochrome, it had come to rest in the center of her upper chest.
Her gloved hands are all ready to get down to business, her gaze alone could fell some fearsome foes -
Yet it must not be thought that she already looked already like appeared in Era II – She almost did, but the few distinctions made all the difference in the world.
Firm as it was, her expression was not without the softness of youth, her armored, padded shoulders did not yet hold themselves with stiffness, and eyes of shrill, chemical saffron still burned with an earnest eagerness or even an unspoiled purity of essence -
She was still a girl then, primed and ready for the path before her, but as of yet unbroken, and had she known the mind of her creator at the time, the fires of her heart might well have been extinguished as soon as they were lit.
Within her sharp young mind, she had certainly noted that she had not been welcomed in joy, but then again, she had no accomplishments to her name yet, now did she?
So she reasoned that the elder's approval might be something to be earned.
As for her, well – She could not wholly put aside her dismay, but given a few more instants to gather her thoughts, she understood that this was only her first attempt and that it had, all things considered, still resulted in a more than excellent product, all the more irritating as it was for being such a very narrow miss.
But despite herself, she could not altogether avoid feeling a certain sense of... attachment tugging at her consciousness. She knew better than to indulge this though, for both their sakes – this young one would likely need a firm hand to make up for her obvious imperfections.
But even still: This shrill, discordant shade of canary was a part of her, and the purity of her own radiance stood out all the more by comparison to her narrow constricted spectral line -
So after one pointed, indulgent sigh, the shining creator did take her offspring into her sparkling arms.
"Welcome! Welcome! It's good to finally see you! Have you been adjusting well to your form?"
Uncertain what to make of this rather mixed message and mildly overwhelmed with the sudden display of icy affection, she did not immediately compose a response, but she need to not have troubled herself with the attempt, as the elder Diamond had no intention of awaiting her response in the first place.
"Well of course you must be, after we all put in so much effort to bring you here. Would you believe that we burned up a whole world just for you? Everyone's got so very high hopes for you. Maybe you can already sense their presence out there, it won't be long till they come to pick us up, they're all so exited to meet you-!"
Finally, the elder matriarch pulled away, leaving her hands on her offspring's upper arms.
It was not only a greeting, but part of her appraisal, as she quite unabashedly took the liberty to squeeze at the younger being's arms with her thumb and forefinger to inspect the consistency of her form.
The girl was not too comfortable with that, but bore it stoically without complaint as she understood its necessity, standing tall as the resolute queen she had been bred to become.
"We have much work to get to! Do you know why you're here?"
"To govern the gem homeworld and its outlying colonies, and further the expansion of our perfect order in the universe."
The girl's countenance was serious and severe, lacking all the glittering lightness and elegance of her creator. She had not her glass-breaking tuning-fork voice, but spoke with a resonant dramatic contralto that was certainly not unsuited to wielding authority, but so rough, so sharp, so rich, so distinctive in its offending coloration.
"Well, it's a relief to know that it's all in there..." the elder mused, detaching one hand to tap her young ward's gemstone with two of her nails for emphasis. "But you should already understand that this is a monumental task that even one such as you could not be trusted with it straight out of the ground. After all it's very important that we make sure everyone follows the rules exactly the right way."
"I assure you that-"
The First One silenced her with a small but deliberate motion of her hand. "Ah ah, let's not get ahead of ourselves!"
She made a point of pausing here, leaving enough of a break that a brief reply could have been spoken, but allowing none.
Only when she pleased it did she resume in her explications, though not without taking a few steps around to inspect her creations from all sides as she spoke: "You will prepared and instructed, and receive what is your birthright once you have proven yourself ready."
When she arrived back in front of the eyes of what was now to be her young ward, she looked her over one last time, from the tips of her toes to the crown of her head, and then chose to make her closing remarks, as she did not need to look behind her to know that the fleet would soon have arrived at their location.
She spoke lightly, with an almost nurturing quality and a sparkling, radiant smile, and words like cutting stained-glass splinters:
"And dear?"
She drew her long, sharp claws to a face still not parted from soft innocence.
"You've got a hair out of place."
Exposed, the girl stiffened slightly – she wished to act, perhaps to remedy the issue herself, but she was not given the opportunity.
"Riight there. Let me fix it for you."
…
The girl was led into the swarming lights of the fleet, dark carbon nails resting on her shoulder, dark carbon smile radiating beside her with something that was not pride and made her feel uncertain beside herself..
She was welcomed with bells, fanfares and great cacophonous clamor, but she knew that she had not earned any of this.
But at the time, her ambitions were still fresh and the light in her eyes still undiminished, so she counted all that she was missing among the things she was simply yet to gain.
Like any newmade gem worth the dirt she was grown in, she wanted nothing more than to fulfill her purpose to the best of her abilities.
She burned with the need to be of use, and in the heat of her soul, many designs were forged to that end.
She knew she was meant to be a leader, but what kind of leader would be be? What qualities were crucial for a leader to have?
She had emerged with thoughts about this already in her mind, and she had thought many more since she had been led into her new chambers.
As the second Diamond, she was clearly supposed to be much like the First One, but she could not always be there to guide her – instead, she would one day be expected to guide others in her place, and in order to accomplish that, she would first have to guide herself.
Unfortunately for her, the great irony here was that this went rather counter to her creator's intentions for her – for how could she be instructed, molded and perfected if she remained stubbornly committed to requiring as little instruction as possible?
...
Strange as such a custom must have appeared on Earth, it would not have been much out of the ordinary if they had gone on to simply address each other as 'Diamond' much like many other gems of similar types , but for various reasons, that would not do.
They two of them were notthe same, and everyone involved would do good to remember that – besides, the result of such an intimate creation called for something more familiar, and so, she learned to be 'Sunbeam' when she was in her creator's good graces, and 'Yellow' when she was not, which was most of the time.
It was Yellow, then who first referred to White Diamond as such. At first, it had been a simple, logical extrapolation from her own designation – once, there was only a single Diamond, but now that there were two, it could be supposed that there was a need for a distinction.
But White did not attach much significance to it. To her, it was not more than an administrative technically – though they might be operating as separate entities now, she still knew that they would always be one.
Any significance the title carried would have been a retroactive one, acquired over time, weaved into existence by the gems that wrote their hymns and painted their likenesses onto the walls. She could just as easily have gone with referring to herself as 'Clear' had she simply wanted a descriptive title referring to her own properties, but it suited her more to be called after the light she held within her and her connection with all those who now shared some fraction of it.
….
At first, it was not hard for White to find proof for her notions of Yellow's hopeless insufficiency. She would bring her along to all sorts of representative functions, and her deficiencies would be obvious just by standing next to perfection herself – Where White was naught but flowing elegance, her miserable creation would stand aside, reserved, dull, inexpressive, and somewhat tense, a mess of hard, sharp angles and shrill bright color -
Quite unlike what her maker had assumed when she brushed the question aside as quickly as she had posed it on the occasion of her first meeting, the younger took a while to become comfortable with existence – she naturally understood the notion of motion toward a purpose and the domains of action, drive and will, but when it came to the actual state of being, of moving, thinking and feeling, she was at a loss, and so, for the first few centuries of her existence, she was known mostly as one of White's faithful shadows, eagerly doing as she commanded with a sour hard face and not expressing much besides, stoic, blunt and diligent.
But the young Diamond proved to be a studious, devoted learner. When White started bringing her along to the outlying worlds, she observed intently, noting down every detail of how the empire was run and which factors were important to maintaining their power. When she was handed her first tasks, she took to them like a fish takes to water. When prompted for suggestions, her judgment was discerning and on-point.
She was intelligent, she was bold, and yet worse, she was decisive – a gem of action, well-equipped with the instincts of a fighter, a quick, tactical mind, an affinity for research and technology.
– White could already tell that she was well on her way to developing a disconcertingly clever mouth, and with time, she learned to affect an impressive commanding presence that soon became know as her most distinguishing trait among the gems, her calling card almost.
Soon, she was all a leader ought to be, and her allotted tasks had become her second nature - She conducted her affairs in a curt, firm, businesslike fashion. She mastered speaking with authority and learns to exude gravitas with every word. She will not suffer being questioned, but at the same time, she never developed a taste for artifice and affectation.
A leader does not indulge. A leader does not bend the rules even for herself of all she cherishes. A leader strives after objectivity and reason, even if she could never match the 'perfect flawless being' that greets her on her murals or her hymns or her underlings' radiant, admiring eyes.
But oh, she was good! Tantalizingly good, frighteningly good, almost too good.
She was efficient, she was mighty, she was even dutiful and responsible, always concerned with, and ever willing to sacrifice for the greater good of the empire, even if it meant dirtying her hands.
Born in violence, nurtured on stolen life and bred for subjugation, she walked a path of conquest, and wherever she goes, she leaves a path steeped in shards and organic juices.
She devotes herself wholeheartedly, with a heart of stone.
Soon, Death becomes her, fear sews itself onto her footsteps and she stops thinking much of it.
Her first acts of destruction were deliberate shows of strength, but she soon grew callous, even bored of it.
Before Yellow, when White was alone, the Empire's expansion was like an ever-advancing, unstoppable wave that rolled over the neighboring star systems slowly but inexorably. Had their inhabitants had the means to observe the gems, they could have calculated the exact moment that their worlds would be seized down to the exact second, and it would surely come to pass, no sooner, yet no later.
But where White would have seized the most beautiful planets or the ones she found the ugliest, those most worthy of or most in need of being perfected, or those that reminded her ever so faintly of the homeworld, Yellow could hardly eye an asteroid worth mining without taking the entire star system for good measure.
One would do good not to incur the wrath of either, but where Yellow might end you casually and swiftly as a means to archive her goals and then forget you ever existed like erasing you was just the thankless toil an ordinary Tuesday, White would strip you of all that might make you want to hang onto life in the first place, with a smile, and all for your own good – You might prefer the former.
In brief, she had come into her own.
Rather than a faded, failed copy or a lost, distorted echo, Yellow Diamond had come to be her progenitor's counterpart, the opposite side of her coin:
White had always been a dazzling bright corona eclipsed by an insatiable black hole sun;
Yellow was more like a planet whose hardened crust belied its molten core.
She might have appeared calm and collected on the surface, but beneath, there was a tempest in her soul, ablaze with fiery life and unbearable intensity of feeling, not much unlike other gems who wore the cores of their beings on their chest.
With time, she had acquired a measure of experience and confidence – she was no longer remotely as stilted as she had been in her first couple hundred years.
She would snap at her surroundings with displeasure, smirk about humorous experiences and even display evident gestures of concern – She'd always be somewhat guarded about revealing what was inside her and she would certainly never be the type two dwell on her feelings or wallow on them, but that was in part because she had found other ways to let them speak, preferring to express herself through actions rather than words.
Every keystroke was a whisper, every step a word, ever decision a decree.
'I want to be helpful to you, because I care about you.' said her her hands, her strong arm that had crushed worlds to dust in the grip of her fist. 'Please see me, please look at me, please hear me!'
But when she now deigned to turn to her creator, older now, experienced, confident, in determined devotion or even bearing a smirk about one thing or another, the response was always cooler than she anticipated, and her ardent, redoubled efforts were the resonance of her never-ending screaming, all of which had gone unheard.
Day and night, she sent her troops to capture ever newer far-flung worlds for the glory of the empire, and set upon the work of despoiling them.
She would stand behind domed glass, watching as the flowers dried soon to be replaced by mines, shipyards and kindergartens. She watched glittering orbs lighting up with circles of light and left dried-up husks in her path, crumbled shells that had lost all resemblance to a sphere.
She brought forth many in her image and sat above them in judgment, and when she could spare a moment from that, her deeds in the depths of her laboratories were unholier still.
For ages, she labored away in the artificial light, directing her swarms of technicians and researchers to optimize gem production and advance the horizon of their technologies ever further, so that they might continue to do all these same things, and with ever greater efficiency, and a speed that never stopped increasing its breakneck pace.
She raised up large fleets without end, masses of soldiers stocked with ingenious weapons, living, planet-sized weapons that could snuff out suns and devour star systems, all of it from her literal blood, sweat and tears, but it was never enough.
If she could have, she would have squeezed herself dry like a lemon, down to the very last droplet – the closest she ever came was whenever she entered the battlefield in person, which, to be fair, was not a common incident. She only really bothered it when the gains that could be made from bringing her own, immense power to bear outweighed the hassle involved in doing so, but she had ensured that she would excel at it, and she was prepared to do so if she must – oh, she did have patience, and that's what led her to persevere, but it was split between all of her countless endeavors and not much of it was left for any single one.
If she could expedite a process through threats and appeals to the hierarchy, she would, and it it was better accomplished by adjusting her gloves and resolving the matter with her own two hands, then she would do that, too.
White sometimes told her that it was unbecoming for her to conduct so many of her projects in person, that she, as one of the empire's centerpieces, was too important, that she must not be seen as even being capable of any state of weakness -
But Yellow had learned not expect any praise a long, long time ago.
Of course White would expect her to rule from a distant tower – but she also expected for everything to keep running smoothly even as their empire sprawled out further and further, including the things that might require quick decisions and direct intercession, so, which of her missives was she supposed to follow?
Disgrace was certain no matter which route she might choose – She understood of course. Nothing in this world was fair, and why should she or anyone else even expect it to be?
Sacrifices would always need to be made and nothing good could ever come from nothing, so they might as well get it over with - unleash destruction and make it quick and painless.
...
It had been a hard-learned lesson.
Once, no long ago she could barely remember, Yellow might have thought that things could be different, once, before she had become this bitter, dried-out creature full of seething resentment.
Though she was already immersed in the ins and out of the empire, it could not have been before she saw her thousandth year. She had taken over her responsibilities far quicker than Blue or Pink did, be it because she had been so eager, or because as the first, she'd had the most expectations resting on her back.
White would still make appearances off-planet in those days, and since there was no one else, she spent significant time instructing Yellow with her own, firm hand, but not in any way that could be considered a privilege.
The great All-Mother of homeworld was only ever displeased; Even her smiles were a minefield. "I only point out your mistakes because I know that you can do better." she would say, and that would be the closest she would ever come to an acknowledgment: "All our gems depend on us doing our best. For the good of our empire, none of us can afford hesitation – you understand that, do you, my dear sunbeam?"
"Of course I do, White Diamond!" she assured with conviction, but her maker would usually continue before Yellow could come anywhere close to explaining herself: "Good, good! You know, sometimes come close to losing all hope for you, but it seems that I needn't have worried!"
And with that, she would generally disengage and leave, usually back to her palace ship, leaving the younger Diamond in the hallways, often with her hands still half outstretched -
And she's not sure if there was ever a time where she didn't feel resentment, but there were certainly days where she pushed it out of her consciousness and argued to herself that it must be unwarranted. But at the very least, she was very much confused – why the need to remind her of her responsibilities? Couldn't White tell that she took them very seriously already? What reasons could she even have to think so, and more importantly, what could she do to convince her otherwise?
Day and night she labored for the sake of the empire – what more could she do to get White to see that?
And another might have despaired, or thrown up their hands in frustration, but Yellow Diamond did not much believe in feeling sorry for herself. Problems were to be solved, challenges were to be overcome with her own two hands, and with determination – Even if it meant putting her head through a wall.
It was in her nature to keep moving forward, to look for solutions when she knew not what to do, and so, this is how she approached this:
If her regular work performance was not enough, then it figures that she must do something more, something beyond that, something only she could contribute, something that would bring glory and prosperity to all of their subjects, a way to make their order even more perfect – and then, she thought naively, White must surely recognize and reward all her loyalty and devotion.
So she began to draw up plans.
But the day on which she finally brought her suggestions before her maker did not go as she expected.
…
The Grand Matriarch was furious.
Her pristine, elegant form and all the petite, immaculate features of her face were quaking with her rage.
"What is the meaning of this?"
So here she was, the great rational decider, the commander-in-chief, the luminous Yellow Diamond of the stern, commanding presence – on the defense from the moment their conversation started.
The alabaster gray walls of the palace ship reminded her keenly whose turf they were on, and all the stark, colorless architecture around them looked dark when compared to the radiance of its master.
Think of any object or quality that had ever been described as pure white – the freshest dewy petals of magnolia, the newest morning snow, the most incandescent magnesium flame, and they would all be smears of filth next to the being that dwelt in this chamber.
If Yellow looked down at herself, at the sharp edges of her facets and the trappings of her form, she could not help but feel exposed, for each and every of the small collection of shades she had about her, and everything that shone like chromate salts, chlorine dioxide and pressed uranium ores.
Nonetheless, she overcame herself, and spoke, and was made to regret it for ages:
"I was looking into ways to make the organization of our gems more efficient. I was just thinking, that, perhaps if we put more emphasis on minimizing wastefulness and rewarding merit, we might-"
"I don't want to hear about your thoughts!" spat White. It was almost a screech, each word lathered in disgust.
All pretense of warmth was gone in an instant, and Yellow found herself alone in a room with all of White's sheer, unbridled rage.
Incandescence flashed from behind her pupils; it swelled inside her gem, and all of her form, so bright it hurt to look at her, so bright that it would not allow for anything else to be seen, bright as those luxuriant suns of fortunate planets that drowned out the lights of all stars when the daytime arrived, and though she had not done so for literal thousands of years, Yellow Diamond shivered, not due anything as simple as fear, but with the awe of all things for their makers.
"Do you even realize what you're suggesting? The gravity of what you've just said? What that would mean? You would have us deviate from our order? To give up the very form that defines us? To give over our perfect, beautiful empire to chaos?"
And if the very sight of her was blinding, her incensed words must have been like the divine voice of truth.
"Of course not!" the younger Diamond pleaded, though she no longer knew why: "What I want to do is to make some improvements – to streamline it, so we can adjust it to changing circumstances- "
"Improvements you say. How curious." White snapped with a pout.
The offense in her voice was almost palpable.
Every time she came a step forward, Yellow instinctively took a step back.
"How curious that you think that there is a way to improve upon perfection. How very, very clever of you... is that what you think you are, clever?!"
Yellow wasn't given the time to answer.
"Clearly you know best! Oh yes, let's just do it your way! Let's compromise on the order that has kept this empire from collapsing into chaos. Better yet, return all the words we've ordered to the chaotic state we found them in! Who cares what the consequences are. Who cares if we lose the very order that makes us what we are- Selfish, selfish little creature! Who cares what happens to our gems and our empire, Yellow needs to mess it all up like it's one of her little experiments, to show off how clever she is!"
"No! No of course not, White, I would never want that. I don't want chaos. I never said we should do away with all rules! I just wanted to... relax them, maybe, to improve the order. You know, for perfection! Just like you always wanted-"
"What do YOU know about perfection?"
White's voice boomed like thunder. To Yellow, it was the sharpest condemnation she could have faced. It merely confirmed what she has always suspected, but it broke her hard, brittle heart all the same.
"I knew you were a failure from the moment you emerged! Oh, but I kept you, I couldn't bring myself to discard you, because you were still a part of me... and this is how you thank me for it! Never would I have thought that you would dare to defy me to my face!"
For the first time in her life, Yellow had to fight down tears, but she was not adept at it, not yet – in many glittering trails, they streaked down the same face that had been so blank in her earlier centuries, her feelings of complete and utter defeat revealed in plain sight.
Even then, White's voice held no mercy: "And what do you intend to accomplish with this display of weakness?"
Kneeling before her maker, Yellow raised one of her arms to conceal her face in shame. "Forgive me White! It won't happen again... Please! I'll do as you say, just please! I beg of you... Please let me be of use to you! Let me be of use to our Empire!"
It was then that she restrained her burning radiance, plastered her usual benevolent smile back onto her face and condescended to approach her disgraced daughter, going as far as to put her arms around her as if no part of the preceding altercation had taken place – there was no more need to her to scorn her wayward offspring, after all, she was now very much acting out the role assigned to her, and White could tell from a single glance at her gem that the younger Diamond lacked both the strength and the will to reject her in this moment.
"There, there." she spoke in a singsong voice that was almost gentle, wiping Yellow's tears as if she weren't the cause for them. "It's fine, I get it. You're a flawed being, so it's only natural that you can't always get it right. But that's why I'm here. Don't you worry, I'm going to make it all better... All you need to do is listen to me.
Do you think you can do that?"
"Of course-!"
"Very good! And Sunbeam?"
She turned to look Yellow in the eyes, with eyes that gleamed like quasars and her smile which was at once like candy and rot, and she added a few words, sweetly, with a voice like fresh cut daisies: "Never question me again."
That was the first time Yellow should witness one of her tantrums, but it was far from the last.
….
In the years after that, Yellow made a point to follow White's instructions to the letter, to show that she understood now why it was so important to seek White's guidance and to follow her laws down to the latter, but by and large, her illusions were dashed.
There was a time when she had admired White without reservations and sought to be like her in all things, but she was too pragmatic, too much of a realist to convince herself that White was anything other than a very demanding, difficult individual, or that the life she had found herself in wasn't going to be filled with dreary, thankless work -
She did not dwell on that realization, for what would have been the use of that?
She simply accepted it and dealt with the consequences.
There were more than enough things in this world that she could actually remedy, and no shortage of tasks calling for her attention.
But oh, that she must feel it at all! That she was forced to be aware of it, that she could not help but realize that she was not holding much of White's attention these days, the certainty that she must have managed to dash what little hopes her maker ever held for her.
Yellow didn't see much of her these days – She no longer needed much instruction, and neither did White hope to accomplish much improvement.
Indeed, she had a hard time getting a hold of her even for the purpose of discussing affairs of state. Yellow still saw her semi-regularly at official functions, but there was not much room for discussion at those, not when they had to appear resolute in front of their subjects – and askingfor an audience was thoroughly useless.
If Yellow wanted to have a moment in private with her, she would practically have to ambush her.
As a strategist, Yellow knew that one was most vulnerable while changing locations, a simple piece of basic logic that must be true for all beings in the universe, even one such as White – did gravity to still keep her on the ground, could her hair and appearance modifiers not still be set in motion by the wind?
It should not have been too hard. There were only so many passageways and structures that had been build to admit their titanic sizes and they were generally not frequented by any but the most high-ranking of their subjects, most of which would be using separate structures more suited to their respective size and importance.
White was so punctual that one could easily get the impression that she just appeared and disappeared, but there was a clearly defined set of paths that she could be taking.
And as the existence closest to White, Yellow thought that she knew something of her habits, insofar as the luminous All-Mother of the gem homeworld could be knowable to anyone.
Often times, Yellow Diamond had to tell herself what she tended to tell those beneath her: That White Diamond was a jealous God, and that her ways were not their ways.
She was ancient, even compared to Yellow herself, and she simply didn't see the world the way that she did – how could she, when had raised them all from the dirt to be her playthings?
It was not enough to simply keep track of all her various comings and goings, of which there was still a considerable number in those days. When White decided to show up, she would follow her schedule like clockwork and go through the motions of her task like she had done for eons upon eons – She was certainly a habitual, rigid creature but at the same time, one could not really describe her as simply cold or mechanical.
Her smile was unfailing as was her tendency towards surface pleasantries.
She was, by nature, not completely without attachment or... fondness even, but it was not something she valued. She addressed her creations with an affectation of affection, and behind it lurked the ever-present threat of her hot, capricious rage.
Her whimsy was most apparent in her tendency to skip out on appointments with little to no warning whenever she suddenly deemed them unimportant.
Yellow could draft all the elaborate attack plans she wanted, but when she actually got to see her creator, it was usually at her leisure, and always, always on her terms.
She would find White in the halls and galleries, in any variety of large, shining constructions adorned with long graceful columns or perhaps on some enormous balcony overlooking the spires of the capital, and it would always be over before she knew it.
Hardly did she ever make this mistake of outright calling out after the larger gem – such a blatant display would have been unbecoming – and neither did her maker avoid her outright in a transparent manner that had no plausible deniability.
She did not hurriedly increase her stride – indeed sometimes she'd even stop in her tracks when she heard the hurried stride of Yellow's boots approaching.
All of that only served to underline the utter futility of the endeavor.
Sure, White might even turn on the heels of her glittering sandals, just as she was about to walk through an enormous archway built to her precise size (since she was, after all the single most enormous being on this world) and spread out her elegant, glittering arms in what might be a welcoming gesture, she might even don one of her most radiant megawatt smiles, but all any of that meant was the she had already made up her mind before the younger Diamond could even gather the resolve to speak the first word:
"Ah, Yellow! Hello there! I see you have returned from your campaign. It's good to see you! I trust that you are well...", she prattled on, like she might as well be talking to herself. "Is there something you need?"
She added that last part too deliberately for it to be an afterthought, which meant that it might well be intended as an understated admonishment. Or it might not be.
One could never quite tell with her. Perhaps she really had no idea of the terror she brought with her each time she stepped into a room, not that it would have made much of a difference - Those wide, colorless eyes were unreadable, and it was enough to know what she was capable of.
Already, Yellow could feel herself wavering – but either from futile hope or desperate need, she pressed on: "I... have been meaning to speak with you. About the campaign."
"Oh?" her eyes narrowed, and her voice took on just the slightest edge. "Was there a problem with that?"
"Not at all! It went all according to plan." She had been meaning to make this a solemn, dignified manner, preferably on her knees and deeply bowed, as if to lay the spoils of her conquest at White's feet so that she might extend the radiance of her favor – Instead, Yellow was practically defending herself, having approached White in silence, and from the back, like some miscreant about to confess something shameful, or, in brief, like her efforts were barely even enough: "We were able to expand the reach of our order and secured abundant new resources for the empire."
The words are chosen to be grand, but the quiver in Yellow's often so resolute voice gave away her urgency.
She had known from the beginning that this would be a futile exercise.
It was almost a mercy when her false hopes were finally dashed at last.
White simply smiled at her, a slightly wider sort of smile, with her eyes slightly narrowed, the one Yellow recognized just well enough to understand at once that no more objections would be tolerated.
There was nothing piercing about it yet that's how it felt, the cutting edges tucked away beneath that resplendent, flowing voice:
"Then what is there to discuss?"
Yellow was completely and utterly defeated, and for all that she still put on a show of reaching out her arm, it didn't stop White from turning around and continuing along her way, presumably, right to her ship, to where she admitted very few visitors.
That was when it began to dawn on Yellow that White had a wall in her heart, some high, transparent obstacle that none of her efforts could ever get past. Or perhaps she had known all along, and it had merely taken her so much longer to truly understand what it meant.
Perhaps there was really no reason for them to seek each other out if all was going well enough. After all, a perfect, flawless creature isn't supposed to need anyone or anything – and Yellow knew full well that it was not her purpose to be given thanks, that, if anything, she ought to be grateful to have been given the duties that justified her sorry existence, and that she would do well to expunge such useless sentiment, for many, many reasons –
And yet it was there, burning, searing, taunting her ceaselessly no matter how much she longed to be rid of it.
She could at least understand the purpose of sentiment when it spurned you to action or reminded you to protect yourself. She understood rage, she understood ambition, she could even wrap her mind around fear, but what use was there for a wish that could never become true?
It would be so much easier if she could just carry out her tasks without having to bother with such diversions, as she was trying her hardest to do.
Already, she knew that White was making preparations to bring another one into their ranks, a third member for the Diamond authority. She hadn't seen it fit to grace Yellow with an explication of her reasoning, but it was known that she had set to work on an icy moon orbiting a large blue gas giant.
Once it was covered with the large monuments left behind by a civilization of slow-moving, silicon-based lifeforms, but that was before legions of Quartzes and Rubies had cleared away their last remnants. Their technology was most advanced than most adversaries the gem empire had faced, but despite that, they put up precious little resistance – their glory days were already long past, their society already on the decline for unrelated reasons.
The invasion had merely struck the last blow, wiping them all out except for a scattered few that were able to escape the system in rickety old vessels left by their ancestors.
Yellow's opinion had been that they might use the planet's unusual composition as a rare opportunity to produce a few batches of rare elite gems, but before she could have the kindergartens set up, all her plans were dashed by intervention from White.
She did not even bother contact Yellow or her fleets in person – instead, she simply sent a written missive from her ship, which was already en route to their current position.
She wanted the planet – just this one in particular, nothing else about that system – and she would be requiring a team of Uraninite Researchers and Peridot Technicians, and of course, she could only be satisfied with the best, most perfect, most foremost ones that Yellow had ever been able to make.
Additionally, all the warships that had been used in the system's conquest were to stay and guard it until the elder Diamond's business was finished.
Most of the gems involved were honored of course, for it was rare for any ordinary gems to get a glimpse of White in those days, particularly for those outside of the aristocracy.
But both the soldiers and the technicians assumed that the Grand Matriarch would be requesting some sort of weapon or superstructure.
Yellow knew better, and not merely because White no longer involved herself in such trifling details - As the one in charge of gem production and research, it was unavoidable that Yellow would eventually have come face to face with the schematics of her own creation.
She had no illusions for what this meant.
But to be replaced using one of her own conquests -
Let's just say that there was more than one occasion where Yellow only noticed too late that she had been gripping the armrest of her throne quite a bit too tightly.
...
Since White had claimed their homeworld for herself, Yellow saw to the progression of their efforts on the system's other planets, most of which had been settled by the silicon creatures.
The Bismuths sent to cover them in gem structures would at times still encounter the occasional stragglers, though that should soon cease once they were due to begin with the terraforming.
As a precaution, Yellow saw that most important convoys were assigned guards – it's not like she would be pulling her army out of the system anytime soon.
One by one, the last of the natives were weeded out from their former homes, and it was not long util the last of their towers were scheduled to be melted down.
It was all rather sad – or so was the opinion of one of her Topazes, when had she expressed some reluctance to go through with the dismantling of their cities.
Yellow Diamond shot that down right away.
"What do you expect? It's an invasion."
"But they just want to live here, same as us. It just doesn't seem fair... "
Nothing in this world does. What else is new? Besides...
"What would you have us do instead? Let our own Empire wither away, out of the kindness of our hearts?"
"Of course not, my Diamond! But if there was some way that we could get what we need without destroying them...-"
"Well there isn't, is there? It's us or them. We must all do our duties, Topaz, not just when it's convenient or pretty. As it stands, these creatures stand between us and the needs of the empire, and I will not hesitate to remove any obstacle that threatens its prosperity... nor will I hesitate to remove you, if that's what you become. "
"But-"
The Diamond's gaze grew hard here, as did her voice.
"Are you questioning my orders, Topaz?"
"No -Never!"
"Then carry out your mission, and we shall never speak of this again."
"Yes, my Diamond! A-as you wish!"
Had she insisted, Yellow would have personally dissipated her form before she was done speaking, and had her bubbled away to await her sentence, and perhaps, one day, she would allow that imprudent gem to make herself useful again.
If she were a repeat offender, her Diamond would have dispensed with the proceedings and had her harvested before the day was done – after all, it would not do to be wasteful.
This was not to say that she took it lightly. Dispensing punishment and destruction was part of her daily business, so it was unavoidable, even necessary, that she should grow accustomed to it, or calloused, even. She could threaten you quite casually, she could detonate remote charges in your face and then move on like it was just another Tuesday, but that was not the same as taking it lightly, let alone taking any pleasure in it.
More so than her sisters (save for one, who was, at the time, not even a thought in White Diamond's head), she had some awareness that the works of her hands were ugly things, at least when it came to her own kind – but like many who had wrought destruction of colossal consequences, she believed she was right, that it must be done because no other path was acceptable.
...
White was right here.
Yellow had seen her ship glittering in orbit on quite a few occasions, usually from the command bridge of her own.
It was the first time in years that they were even in the same star system and could have seen each other without the use of a subspace communicator or a hyperdrive engine – but they didn't.
The younger Diamond supposed that she would be seeing even less of her creator now that this new creature was in the works.
If White had asked her opinion – which she had not done one in her life – Yellow would have told her that this whole thing was entirely superfluous. There was no need for another Diamond – there might be, eventually, as the empire expanded, but not yet. Not now.
Surely, she was not so inadequate. Even White must see that she had a solid grasp on her duties – the two of them were more than enough!
And was this even the right place? If White had told her of her intentions, she might have been able to find a much more suitable planet for the procedure, not that this one was in any way insufficient, but, White hadn't even presented her with that challenge – She had been discarded before her rival had even been injected.
For that's what she pictured this newest Diamond as, the only way she could see their relationship unfolding at the time: As a bitter rivalry where they would both be competing for scraps of White's attention, perhaps for all of eternity, or worse still, only just as long as it would take to establish a clear victor.
She'd heard some of the Peridots talking of course. They were hers and had no reason to expect anything to be hidden from her – indeed many of them bragged of their assigment insofar as the details weren't classified - and they had to resupply their operations with the fleet, and later, on the other planets.
White Diamond might not even have sworn them to secrecy on matters beyond strategic significance, for what did she care, or even know, what tremendous, torturous thing she was inflicting on her firstborn offspring?
Yellow did not want to hear of this, and yet she could not avoid becoming privy to a few intimate details of her own creation that she never wished to have learned. She had been spared a closer inspection on her person because it would not do for any of her subjects to be poking and prodding the new Queen they were supposed to worship, but White did have her exit marks examined before having all evidence destroyed. Right over there, across the sky in her ship, she'd gone through all her old schematics, and she had ordered for every free parameter and every uncertain variable to be adjusted tho the other extreme.
This came as a surprise to the technicians who saw 'their' Diamond as the most shining example of perfection, but they assumed that White Diamond, in her infinite wisdom, must have some grand plan in mind and might perhaps be wishing for this new Diamond to fit the requirements of some unique new role of her own, or that it was a matter of balance and wanting the members of the authority to complement each other.
Yellow alone knew better.
White would obviously want this new Diamond to be closer to perfection, and in her eyes, that was best accomplished by ensuring that she wouldn't be anything like Yellow.
When the injector was set to be fired, she made sure to have an extraction scheduled around that time, to ensure that she would be behind closed doors and unable to be reached even in the unlikely event that White would think of inviting her to observe – and while that brilliant new star seed incubated somewhere down there in the crust of that moon, Yellow did her best to forget it, sinking herself into her work, spending every free minute in her control room, thumbing through report after report and putting all else out of her mind.
Not that this was an easy task with the crumbling moon below and White's ship as constant reminders. Even when she was employed elsewhere in the system where the offending moon couldn't possibly be glimpsed, the gas giant it's orbiting is a constant glimmer.
Work is a cold comfort but an effective one. Despite her creator's silence, every completed appointment grants her some sense of accomplishments. The system has six planets, four of them rocky. The gas giants have numerous usable moons, none as plentiful as White's chosen receptacle, but most of them promising.
By the time White's new creation was anywhere close to emerging, Yellow's gems would have strip-mined most of them and converted the planet with the most favorable condition into a gleaming hollow sphere studded with high tower-spikes and multiple space elevators, to be a home for many of the newly produced gems and a hub for further expansion.
As for the moons surrounding the gas planets, the second and third best had been fashioned into enormous floating shipyards to be supplied with materials from the rest of the system, which was now unrecognizable from what it had once been.
Their work here was done. It was, for all intents and purposes, time to pack up, leave this place in the capable hands of their newly-minted Agates and go conquer some more, possibly after stopping by at the homeworld to ensure that everything was in order and perhaps make a few representative appearances.
But it seemed that White did not intend for either of them to return without the result of her latest enterprise in tow, and Yellow preferred not to incur her displeasure when she had a perfectly adequate base available at her now completed colony. She could conduct her business from there, and that was all that ever mattered and therefore, all she ought to need.
(But for all her misgivings, she never truly blamed the new existence that was maturing inside that icy moon, and not once did she wish for this enterprise to end in failure.)
...
When White descended from orbit to welcome her new creation, Yellow did not choose to join her. She was all the way across the star system, discussing battle plans with some of her Hessonites, too far to even see that moon crack open.
But their creator thought it fit to introduce them, which entailed that she actually summoned Yellow into her personal chambers for the first time in ages, and despite everything, her first creation found herself anxious to see her, right up until the moment when the enormous doors finally sprang open to reveal her..
White looked like she always looked – radiant, terrifying, and just the slightest bit absent, like an enormous crystalline statue imbued with living light, wearing that same familiar, blank smile on lips as black as night.
Yellow felt acutely how much she had missed her, and yet, her presence brought no comfort.
But nestled close to her side, shyly clinging to the seams of her dress, half-hidden beneath her glittering, translucent cape, there was -
Not at all what Yellow had expected.
In her darkest dreams, she'd envisioned something galling, some sort of being that might well be harder-better-faster-stronger than herself, but never anything like this –
And still, there could be no doubt:
Half concealed behind her long hair and the arms with which she was timidly holding on to White's larger frame, there was a decently-sized, approximately teardrop-shaped piece of diamond, in the hues of deep ocean waters and half-remembered dreams, indelible proof of her status and the power vested in her.
It follows then that her name was Blue Diamond, and that she would be working with them from now on – at a glance, Yellow could see that this new gem was truly her opposite in every way, but seeing that fear realized and manifested in light and stone before her, her feelings on the matter were not what she had expected them to be.
Yellow never hated this new life, and she wasn't about to start now, when she found Blue's ultramarine eyes glancing at her full of expectant trepidation, half-hidden behind White, who seemed to find the situation faintly amusing, if she had much of a reaction at all.
"Come on Moonshine. Go and say hello!"
That produced rather the opposite effect, if anything – Blue's hands tightened their grip on White's robes and Yellow was struck by how different this newest addition was from them both, how soft, sensitive, even delicate she seemed , especially for a being of such immense power.
She was comparable to Yellow herself in stature, perhaps even a bit taller were it not for her posture. She had a long, oval face, flowing pale hair and large, soulful eyes surrounded with prominent markings and a somewhat droopy quality to them. To go with all that, she had manifested a floor-length, midnight-blue robe possessed of a certain simple, quiet elegance, though it was nowhere near being as ornate as White's gown.
Where Yellow was made up of sharp edges, angles and shrieking brightness, Blue was a creature of flowing, rounded lines and dark, muted shades.
Each step that Yellow took towards her, and each small movement of White's seemed to produce a distinct reaction on Blue's face, quite immediately, like she couldn't have held it back even if she'd wanted to, so much unlike White's unnerving, unwavering smile and Yellow's hardened, barren exterior.
White must have taken note of it, too, though she found it sufficient to comment on the reluctance of her youngest with a brief chuckle: "As you can see, she's going to need quite a bit of preparation before she's ready to take her place in the Authority...
I trust that you will provide a good example for her, right, Yellow?"
"Yes of course."
...
Contrary to her expectations, Yellow found that she ended up seeing a lot more of White that she used to, on account of the need to prepare Blue for her duties.
White was as she always had been.
Blue was... perplexing to say the least.
Nothing like Yellow. That impression only deepened as time went on.
Naturally, her fellow Diamond didn't comprehend her much at first – Besides, existence didn't seem to agree much with her.
In all honesty, Yellow often thought her rather... sluggish, languid, too easily affected by the occurrences around her or the events of the day – she did not possess nearly as much energy and drive as Yellow had.
Of course, Blue probably had her own list of bafflements and complaints regarding Yellow. She often found her too rash, too forceful and too insistent on pushing others in her preferred direction - Their differing temperaments naturally put them at odds.
One could only surmise that Blue must have inherited White's subdued, introverted disposition, perhaps even some milder, shaded shadow of her inky pitch black moods, but without all the parts of her that were – well. All the ones that Yellow ended up with.
Sure, Blue certainly did as was required of her, she'd follow everything White told her about what was supposed to be right and proper, it didn't really go beyond that.
Though she knew she knew well that she had been made for it, the idea of ruling did not much appeal to her in and of itself.
Had she emerged as some other type of gem, you might have found her obediently performing those other obligations as long as she could be with her assigned unit.
Blue was always glad when she could win the praise and attention of her fellow Diamonds, but she was liable to grow bored of her allotted tasks or space out during her lessons, which would generally prompt Yellow to admonish her lest they both draw the ire of White Diamond, whose punishments were seldom that considerate of Blue's tender feelings.
If it were up to her, Blue would probably have spent all day enjoying the amenities of the palace grounds, looking at beautiful things, reading the old epics and most of all, listening to music. Nothing else delighted her quite as much as song, and nothing else proved quite as soothing to her unsteady spirit.
Apart from that, her favorite places to go were probably the high rise spires, where she would allow the thinkers and artists to present her with their newest creations and exchange pleasantries with the other aristocrats, of course, always maintaining the proper distance and dignity that were becoming of a Diamond.
All things considered she did pretty well with the representative parts of their duties – she had the patience that Yellow had always lacked, though even here, when she was most in her element and soon learned to project an air of grace and poise, she could not entirely keep her soft heart from shining through, and soon she became quite revered by the elites because she would gladly bestow favors upon those in her good graces, contrasting with, and yet not entirely unlike the way Yellow had become esteemed by her the soldiers and technicians for her efficient, straightforward ways.
Though imperfect, Yellow could not deny that Blue's qualities had their place –
And despite the many, many times that Yellow found herself tempted to reprimand her or to give insistent reminders to steer her toward greater fortitude and diligence, some part of her could not help but admire her capacity to be moved, and the way her feeling flowed across her face and into the room so much more easily than her own, or the steadiness of her calm which her own impetuous motions could never match.
Yellow's mind couldn't condone it, her will could not agree with it, but her spirit couldn't escape the recognition of something that was missing from itself, perhaps that same elegance and understanding that White had always found her to be lacking of.
Yet there was an important difference between Blue and White:
They might both have been withdrawn, even apathetic on certain accounts, but where the distant All-Mother kept up her impenetrable front at all times, Blue loved the company of her peers more than anything else – Had she not been given another purpose, you could have thought that it was her entire reason for being.
The few times White would actually admit them into her presence for reasons other than to discipline them, Blue would express the relief and anticipation that Yellow was far too guarded to allow, and when Yellow herself would return from her conquests and step off her ship in a thundering procession, Blue would be there, first as a gracious, veiled shadow, and then, once they were behind closed doors away from anyone except perhaps their Pearls, she would listen, fondly, and be enraptured by her tales of victory and resourcefulness.
Yellow would of course give her pointers for when it would be time for Blue to go and take her own worlds, which was supposedly the purpose to these meetings, but it had never been just that.
Because here was someone her deeds could actually reach.
Someone whom her words could move to tears, or laughter. Someone for her presence to bring comfort or at the very least, to matter in an immediate, discernible way.
When Yellow caught herself wondering after the point of her unsightly, thankless labors, she found she no longer needed to flagellate herself with talk of purpose, duty and sacrifice – She would simply think of Blue (and Pink, once she came along) and she'd be reminded of every single reason that sustained her resolve, and know exactly what she was doing it all for.
Yellow knew that it was not her purpose to expect any thanks – but oh, what it was to be wanted! And good was all her power, without something for it to protect?
She found out that she could stand there, the blood-soaked, dust-caked general, destroyer-of-worlds, and remember that she was not yet that ancient, that she could laugh from the bottom of her gem, a full-throated, booming sound, and learns that she could be held and supported in return, as if she were free to be anything soft and tender.
….
When Blue was still very new, she could often be found sticking close to her creator's side, especially in new or unfamiliar situations, but once she had made it past her first few centuries, White was no longer quite so indulgent and made a point of swatting away her clinging little hands - indeed, she was not above spending entire years flat out ignoring her if she were displeased with her performance.
Consequently, Blue quickly learned not to displease her, at least not on purpose. Blue was obedient of course, perhaps the most prim and well-behaved out of the two (and later, three) but as far as White was concerned, the best barely qualified as enough.
Regardless, it could be said that the two mostly got along well enough, insofar as it was possible to maintain any state of harmony with White.
It helped that, despite their marked differences, their general temperaments were not too dissimilar, which was not to say that White was ever really satisfied with Blue.
She had less expectations to be dashed the second time around, but she still found much to find fault with.
For all the misgivings she may have had about Yellow, at least it could be said that she was strong, which Blue... was not. She was far too inclined to sentimentality and attachment, enough so that it may well become her undoing one day.
Naturally, White generally made a point to discourage this.
Not that there wasn't some repressed little part of hers that might have felts tempted to indulge Blue when she came to her with expectant eyes and light, graceful steps (for her steps were still light in those days) – sometimes it might even win out for a brief time, but generally speaking, White knew better than to follow this particular impulse, as she knew she should.
….
Since the error couldn't possibly have been White's, it must lie with them both, which meant that the endeavor was likely futile to begin with, but still – It was all rather unfortunate.
She had hoped that tasking Yellow with keeping Blue on her toes would toughen her up somewhat, but instead, it seems the very opposite had taken place:
How else would you explain the sight of a ruthless intergalactic conqueror begging on the floor?
She knelt at White's feet, before the main platform of her throne room, amid the stark grays of her palace ship, in a stance of utmost supplication, her eyes filled with a raw urgency that they had not held in ages.
"Punish me instead!"
There was the fearsome Yellow Diamond, whose unyielding gaze and mighty footfalls been known as omens of Death throughout the galaxies, unambiguously, openly pleading.
"Please, it wasn't Blue's fault. She's still new, and I was there with her. I'm the one responsible, so I should be the one to be punished."
Blue, for the record, was further back in the room, her tear-streaked face buried in her hands, unable to even look at the confrontation that was unfolding before her.
But behind her fingers, time kept on moving without mercy, and she could hear the definite edge in White's voice without the need to actually look at her:
"Are you going soft on me, Yellow?"
And she was most certainly still smiling, but they all knew that 'playtime' was about to be over very, very soon. Yellow must have known it too, but she had already made her decision:
"I'm taking responsibility." she insisted, rather forcibly. "That's what a leader is for, right?"
White couldn't even bring herself to be too angry here, she almost had to stave off a pang of fondness – that was way more like the Yellow she knew. But alas, she couldn't just let those two think they could talk their way out of their shortcomings like that. She knew just what to do – and so she smiled, that wide, self-certain smile that was at once like sugar and rot:
"Very well. Have it your way."
...
Blue would never find out what exact sort of punishment Yellow had to endure – she was not the sort to open up about it, and when she returned, every part of her told a different story.
Her lips produced a few scolding words, but the rest of her sat down next to Blue and placed an arm on her back in an feeble attempt to calm her agitation. Her sodium flame eyes kept staring off into the distance through it all.
"You can't keep making her angry like that. It is time that you realized your own importance." she argued, but even as she spoke so, her form sought out her companion's proximity, not overtly, certainly not blatantly, but she cared not to be further apart than she could not excuse.
Blue had been curled up on an enormous, ornate divan, half-buried in her long robes with her unsteady face concealed behind her veil, gritting her teeth in an effort not to produce a single sound that would risk enraging White even further.
For all intents and purposes, she had probably been spared the worst and should not have been the one most in need of comforting, but her considerable distress was still – quite literally – palpable in the air.
And that did not not Yellow from drawing near her in an effort to relieve her, but neither did it keep her from addressing her in a stern, austere manner:
"We have to be strong, you and I."
"How can you say that... I just- I just can't."
"We'll have to." she insisted, doing her best to speak firmly even though Blue could feel her hands shaking through her robes. "Both of us. For each other. For White. For every single one of the gems under out command. White is right, you know – they are all looking to us. They all serve us with devotion – so we must be worth it. That's the point of us."
Her voice was breaking before she made it to the end, but her severe expression did not crumble until she unexpectedly felt something brush across her own back – a single hand which Blue had wordlessly raised in a fraught attempt to return the gesture.
It was then that all pretense imploded upon itself and before they knew it, they were collapsed in an inglamorous heap, clasping each other in their arms as tightly as they could, so much, indeed, that they had to be mindful not to fuse.
"Alright-!" Blue conceded between sobs, with that wispy, ghostlike voice of hers. "Let's be strong for each other, just like you said...!"
Though her words were unsteady, there was something solemn and momentous about it, like a whispered incantation or the forging of a vow: This here was holy ground, the last remaining place of warmth where the festering bleakness that suffused their world would not be permitted entry – or at least a promise that they alone would never go against each other.
Or that's what it meant to Yellow at the time, or what she made it to mean, because she needed to believe it – in truth, with the lives they were living and the trajectories they were going on, it should have been inevitable that they would sooner or later find themselves add odds. But that's not what it felt like in that moment.
They did not part from each other for a long time, but when they did, it was with a start, when the passage of time reasserted itself with the sound of the door chime.
They separated almost immediately, without delay, without lingering, or even a conscious thought. In an instant, their expressions hardened into something presentable – by now, it was second nature to them both.
Yellow crossed her legs, clasped her hands together and assumed a commanding stance that oozed with authority. Blue straightened herself up and narrowed her eyes into those of capricious ice queen, and just for good measure, made certain to readjust her veil, just in case she might have forgotten a few teardrops at the corners of her eyes.
They must appear unfazed, yet they both fear that it might be White, that she would suspect something (the Stars know what), that she'd see right through them like open doors.
Their concerns turn out to be unfounded – it was only Yellow's Pearl, who had no idea what just transpired. Industrious and eager to please, she had managed to track down her mistress just in time to escort her to her next appointment, something which her Diamond had always appreciated about the smaller gem, if only in passing thought.
It was the call of duty, and Yellow rose to meet it always, just as she had when she thought that all she would ever do is disappoint – but something had changed, because some part of her understood that she was no longer alone, and with that she could replenish her fortitude, no matter what would be expected of her, and regardless of what more she would have to endure.
(To anyone who was not White Diamond, the miscalculation should have been obvious.
Given that they had to perform in front of the minions, and with White being... White, who else were they going to hold onto?
Their disparities notwithstanding, those two would go on to be each other's sole support for the greater part of their long, long lives.)