Part IV: Absorption (Act II: "The Sword of Flames")

„The girl who got lost on her way

was again the first one to return home

Don't you think that running toward somewhere warm and light

Is more important than the truth?

To those Guardians who wish to protect the sleep of the innocent,

the gate to adulthood has been firmly closed

I wonder if you've noticed it too,

that something like the truth,

only exists in the past.

Hopes and the Future

are just egoistic tales that people tell,

like stories of a distant garden

It's just that no one noticed it yet"

-translated from Kalafina's „Silver Garden"

...

Darkness.

Cold, unforgiving, never-ending darkness.

There was not the slightest speck of warmth left in this world anymore, nothing to distinguish her neverending days – right now, Blue Diamond had no idea how she had ever managed to drag herself through her schedule to begin with.

Reportedly, she had done so somehow, and Yellow told her that she would have to do so again, sooner or later.

She was sure that that Yellow and White would like that very much, if everything could just go back to the way it was, as if anything would ever be the same without Pink Diamond in their midst. As if they could just file her away like some short-lived, failed experiment, no, as if there had never been a Pink Diamond to begin with -

But it was this thought, precisely, that Blue could not bring herself to live with.

Whatever rationalizations and lectures she used to tell herself in order to make it through her days had never seemed as meaningless as they did now.

Even if she could have found the strength to move forward, the very concept of doing so would have crushed her anew – The thought that they would all just continue to sit through functions, conquests and court sessions like she was never there, think of her less and less, let her memory fade, let the finite stretch of time they had had with her become buried beneath the ever-mounting future, become a smaller and smaller fraction of their overall lives every day, a dead branch leading nowhere, but a footnote in the history of the empire, and maybe, one day, they might spend ages without ever mentioning her name, and even expect that the pain would, if not stop, then at least fade into the background now and then.

Blue didn't want it to stop hurting. If nothing else, this pain was proof that Pink had once lived, a negative of her image impressed onto the holes she had left – and since that was all that Blue had left of her at all, she refused to let go.

Now it has to be understood that the concept of a mourning period would have been a foreign one on the gem homeworld, much like that of a funeral; Though the attrition rates varied somewhat between different types of gems, fatalities were, generally speaking, rare and in-between, particularly for those whose primary employment did not involve inherently dangerous work – but when they did occur, losses were replaced and their work soon continued.

Of course one might observe that as beings whose lives were typically rather static for however long they might last, they might have been predisposed to coping poorly with sudden, disruptive changes for their lives, but the elites of the gem homeworld had much more time to ponder this than the many philosophers and lawgivers of the Earth ever had to ponder the human condition and design their many societies and teaching on various questionable readings thereof – And the way they chose to deal with this in the empire's mainstream society, insofar as anyone there could be said to have a choice, was to "put things back the way they were", to replace what was lost and carry on as if nothing happened at all. The empire was designed as a machine with interchangeable parts - in theory, at least.

For now, Yellow was excusing Blue with the explanation that she was 'still in shock', but that tale would only fly for so long; Perhaps that's what Yellow hoped it was, a transient, temporary situation, as if they weren't dealing with the most permanent end in existence.

At least some of the time, Blue would be quite aware that she was neglecting her duties, and even if she hadn't been, Yellow would surely remind her, and she knew that White would do the same if she were here; Her voice was present enough in the back of Blue's mind even in her absence, the same phrases she'd heard again and again throughout the centuries.

Sometimes the heavy shroud of her pain was all she could feel or register, and then, there had surely been times where she had been blinded, accusatory or resentful, but when her malaise deigned to loosen its grasp long enough enough for her to faintly make out the outlines of reason even from a distance, she was sensible enough to know that Yellow must have been suffering too, and that some of the memories she had of White were incongruent with someone who would not be fazed by this at all.

Even if Blue had not cared at all for her own fate, or what this must look like to their gems, she could not be wholly indifferent to Yellow and her well-meaning efforts, for all that she had sometimes rebuffed them -

She knew full well, at least some of the time, like she had known all along, but it was harder and harder to act on that knowledge, to even keep track of it in the throes of her suffering.

The cold reality of things was terrible and final, its weight was crushing, and it was never going away.

Sometimes she came to the war meetings, often times, she even contributed, but more often than not, she kept to her room – their room, as consequence would make it.

If she was not at the window, she'd be on the couch, behind the long chiffon curtains that surrounded it, perhaps looking through files and images that had long stopped to have anything to do with the events on Earth anymore, or just doing nothing, having left whatever she had been looking through on a nearby table – on one occasion, it was a holographic image depicting the entire authority, taken an unspecified number of centuries ago, zoomed in, of course, on Pink Diamond's face while bits of the rest of them were just barely phasing into the rectangular volume rendered by the device, and there she'd be, captured from all angles, with her big, poofy hair, her magenta culotte topped off with white tights and some gratuitous frills, big sleeves and her gemstone exposed on the front, wearing a dorky smile on her face, her eyes wide and sparkling -

A pale, translucent imitation of her, no different from a memory, but enough like her to make one wonder how things could ever have ended up the way they did.

Now that she was gone, nothing could have been more trivial than their many gripes, annoyances and disputes; Nothing could be less important. Those had been an annoyance in their day to day lives, but that was only a temporary thing whilst their love was foundational – Or at least, it should have been.

The truth was of course, that their disputes had happened, and, to Pink, the only past she had. The reality of their dysfunction had been pervasive enough that Pink had come to regard them as the most fundamental parts of time together, to the point that all things good were easily dismissed as illusions or falsities, since it was only natural to suppose that, if what you were seeing was contradictory, at least some of it could not be as it seemed, and must hence be explained by other means.

But that is precisely the sort of conclusion one would consider with the knowledge that the youngest Diamond had packed up and left, not under the assumption that she had been taken from them. With that as the axiom on which to base her further thoughts and feelings, the only notion in Blue Diamond's mind could be the desperate futile need to hold her once again, to take her in her arms and reassure her that such as what had taken place could never actually happen -

And wasn't it hard to believe, when she thought of Pink, with all her vibrant, vital energy, her beaming smiles, and her unique eccentricities – oh, was there every anyone who could resist her charms, was there ever anyone who wouldn't find her endearing, who couldn't be swayed by her big puppy dog eyes? Not even Yellow or White had been immune.

Wasn't she the most precious, the most lovable, the most radiant creature they had ever known? Truly, the lone flower of the homeworld –

Oh how could anyone ever hurt her? How could anyone ever have done this to her?

How could any of this possibly have happened?

She was supposed to have reigned for untold ages. She should have been welcomed with adoration wherever she went. She should have been blessed with unmatched power from the moment she set foot in this world – indomitable, unbreakable Diamond.

But the same had been said about Blue, and here she was, very much intact, but also, very much broken.

There was no longer any rhyme or reason, neither sense nor meaning in her world, and though there was nothing physically stopping her from moving forward, she couldn't bring herself to do so.

Outside, the world must have continued somehow, incomprehensible as it seemed to her – even when she couldn't bring herself to leave this place, she couldn't help but notice that Yellow kept coming and going, and often staying out for a long time, telling her sometimes of how the fighting had proceeded in her absence or the latest stratagem she had cooked up – She kept so very, very busy, even by her standards, enough so that Blue sometimes had the feeling of missing her.

But even when she managed to be right beside Yellow at the war council, or otherwise succeeded in following through with her allotted appointments, the days seemed to pass her by in a haze as this unbelievable, unacceptable travesty of a reality just went on and on with no indication that it would ever cease, and how could it, when there was no way for things to go back the way they were?

If this was what the future was going to be like... if this was reality, then she wanted no part of it.

What was left here but broken pieces, what respite could they have, but more destruction that would still not return Pink into their arms.

Not that she didn't very much want the rebels destroyed, and on some days, she might be able to work herself into a cold rage, when she could not hope to produce even an affectation of her usual regal bearings; But on others, not even the prospect of revenge appeared remotely appealing.

Nothing did.

Nothing at all.

All she could feel was this cold and bitter absence, an empty space that left room for nothing else.

Even when the door opened and Yellow stepped inside, it was something in the distance, on the other side of some ineffable void whose non-presence still tied her down like the gravity of a gas giant. Thus weighed down, her eyes were barely open, focusing at nothing in particular.

Yellow made a marked point of switching off the holo projector before doing anything else – then, she proceeded forward, parting the curtains with her hands before sitting down at Blue's side, taking note of the state she was in with an expression that was disapproving, but somber – yet still, she took one of Blue's hands in both of hers, holding it firmly though the azure fingers remained limp in her grasp.

"In our first offensive alone, we've been able to take out multiple rebel strongholds."

"Good..." Blue answered, her voice like the freezing bite of an ill-boding east wind. "Very good..."

Belatedly, she made the effort to return the gesture, applying some sort of weak squeeze to Yellow's gloved hands.

Something about that made it hard to keep her face steady, but whatever painful, stinging wave of feeling overcame her, Yellow Diamond remained determined to keep it to herself, only continuing to speak once she thought it under lock and key.

"However, they are proving a lot more tenacious than we anticipated... We keep beating them back, but it seems like we can never quite defeat them entirely... this isn't like anything I've ever seen. We have a clear advantage in numbers as well as organization, for all intents and purposes, we should have won this already... but none of that seems to matter. I don't know what advantage their side could possibly have going for them, but..."

"It shouldn't surprise us..." Blue mused, though she might as well have been mumbling into the air. "Everything seems to be upside-down on this strange, confusing planet... none of what should be comes to pass, and the impossible becomes commonplace... I don't understand any of it. Nothing at all..."

"Do you want to go back to homeworld?" Yellow's feelings about that prospect were very conflicted, but she did not always grant them much of a seat at the negotiation table. "We don't both have to be here at all times..."

"No. I want to be here. This is where she spent her last days... this is the only way to be near her anymore... " and at this point, she pushed herself to sit up, making a point to ignore the arm that Yellow was offering to her.

"Besides, I wish to see this through to the end..." She did not bother to put any order into her hair, tousled as it was from the long time she had spent lying here. She merely threw on her veil, hoping that this would conceal the disarray along with her tear-stained eyes. "I have thought of something..."

"Very well. Let us go."

….

When they made it to the current designated war room, their staff was already engaged in animated discussion, furiously debating who was to blame for the latest defeat, or how it could even be possible for such a disorganized troupe of rebels and deviants to oppose them.

Until their masters arrived, the one in charge of proceedings was a proud, distinguished Hessonite from the Yellow Court, with a pronounced unibrow, standing dignified in all her glittery might while a pair of her subordinates were reporting to her – though they were lower in rank, Yellow Diamond recognized them both, for they had served her for long, and with distinction.

One was a venerable citrine quartz who had existed for about 25000 thousand years and fought a great many campaigns for the empire in that time, and attained as high a position as a quartz had any right to earn. Most of the other quartzes respectfully referred to her as 'commander'. She was still barred from the kinds of privileges that were reserved for Agates, Garnets or Emeralds, but her face, gem and serial number were well-known and renowned, not just in the yellow court, but throughout the imperial military as a whole.

Despite this, she did not appear proud, but maintained a humble, serious countenance before her superior, keeping her head bowed as Hessonite spoke, and bending the knee once the Diamonds arrived.

The had the same wild, voluminous hair typical of quartzes, but she kept in in a short, spiky bob that didn't reach much past her ears in the downward direction. Her gemstone, oval with a pentagonal facet in the center, was located in the palm of her right hand – hence, she typically wore her weapon on her right arm – in modern-day Earth terms, it might be said to resemble a kind of crossbow that fired crystalline arrows, thought its actual capabilities were closer to those of a sniper rifle. On her face, she wore a visor with a sleek, rectangular outline that curved around the front of her face – beyond that, she looked like any other quartz, with plump, full lips and a tall, well-toned, opulent build, perhaps just a little less curvy and more angular compared to various Earth-born quartzes.

A good step behind Citrine was Peridot Facet 1C2B, Cut-Y73, one of Yellow Diamond's foremost technicians. Though she ranked lower than anyone else in the room (almost anyone, if you counted the Pearls), she held herself with a certain steely regality, knowing that, if nothing else, she had her own niche of expertise which no one else could take from her, and not aspiring to anything else. She had her hair styles in the shape of an inverse pyramid, standing off to the sides and the top to reveal her triangular gemstone on the back of her head. She stood with crossed arms and observed her surroundings with a dour, meticulous gaze, ceasing only when she bowed and saluted to her Diamond.

She was created long before the shortages that befell larger generations and as such, not only capable of shape-shifting, but indeed quite adept at it – On her limbs and the back of her neck, one could find ports for the various technological devices that the often interfaced with, evidence that she had reshaped her own form to connect directly to currently used devices – should the technology advance and be replaced by newer models, she would simply reshape her personal interfaces once again.

Blue Diamond was likewise honored by her own particular subordinates upon entering the room – representing the blue court was not another set of military gems, but a somewhat different collection of resources. Foremost among them was a Turquoise, who, in a sense, could be considered as being Hessonite's counterpart.

Her pointed, wide-brimmed hat obscured her eyes. Like her robes, it was embroidered with a variety of stellar motifs on arcane symbols, like small, green veins upon her largely cyan clothing. She had a large, hooked nose and long, straight hair that almost reached her ankles, a rare, resourceful gem of great powers.

Her actual gemstone, a large spike with pointy edges, formed the forefinger of her left hand, where it fit right in with her spindly, clawed fingers.

Turquoises possessed great, varied elemental powers that were often used for the crafting of powerful artifacts of unique powers.

Beside her was a smaller figure, a quiet, reserved Sapphire with straight-cut bangs hanging into her face. Behind them, the glittering of her facets could sometimes be seen as she moved, her gem being located on her forehead.

Last but not least was a tall, dark blue gem with strong features and a build that was lean and pointed, yet very much sinewy and athletic, radiating strength and dignity; She wore a long, sleeveless patterned tunic with tight-fitting leggings beneath, though her strong, bared arms were laden with various ornamental bangles, a few crafted out of metal, but most being natural parts of her form, and all of them engraved with Blue Diamond's insignia. The intricate cornrows and minibraids that decorated her head were no less ornate, cementing an impression of fierceness and importance, flaunting not only her status but the extraordinary shape-shifting capabilities innate to a gem of her kind – Through an advanced form of the ability, she was able to turn herself not only invisible, but nigh-indetectable by most types of sensors:

She was a Tanzanite Assassin, and a rather accomplished one, to boot – but the stoic, dark blue gem was not used to seeing worlds such as this one. Its overgrown jungles were a foreign sight to her, much unlike her typical employment, and they filled the jewel in her chest with a an ominous premonition.

She had conducted espionage on foreign soil, she had carried out political assassinations, she had even dispatched the occasional traitor or dissenter for unlawful conduct or conspiracy against the established order, doing whatever Blue Diamond asked, whenever she asked it. But she had done all of this on established colonies, or the strongholds of other spacefaring peoples. Never before had she been called into the wilderness at the expanding frontier of the empire that would normally be the domain of quartzes and nephrites. Then again, this whole situation was completely unprecedented – never before in the history of the empire had anyone succeeded in shattering a Diamond.

Hunting traitors was par for the course for Tanzanite, but she had never seen them in such numbers. There might have been a few overly ambitious military elites or aristocrats here and there, or perhaps some shiploads of scouts or soldiers which had sold strategic information to their enemies in order to save their own gems, but never anything like this, and though she usually kept her thoughts to herself, the assassin was wise and experienced enough to realize that they were dealing with something that they fundamentally did not understand and would do well to squash if they wanted for the empire to persist in its current form.

There was also a small detail from the white court, who held themselves with the aloof pride they derived from association with their sovereign, though only one of the three – Grey Agate – had ever encountered her in the light. As such it was hard to say if they were particularly 'trusted and esteemed' followers of White Diamond's, or her 'favorites', in the sense that their counterparts from the yellow and blue courts were.

Perhaps these three simply had the best records track records, or the shiniest exit holes; That, or it was simply their turn on the duty roster.

Even the other Diamonds weren't quite sure if they were here to aid in the war effort, or to keep White informed of their failures.

Apart from Grey Agate, who was supposedly here to ensure the discipline of the troops at large and the white court's forces in particular, there was the Magnesite she reported to, a light grey, austere-looking gem with immense psychic powers.

She was entirely bald, perhaps to expose the abnormally large head particular to her kind, though her brows were white as snow, and her gem was located in between them like a third eye, surrounded by a tattoo of a diamond insignia. Rather than being facetted, its knot-like structure protruded out like the core of a walnut.

She wore a high-collared, futuristic uniform composed of simplistic lines and blocky shapes, including a long cape that surrounded her from all sides, hanging off her heavy, padded shoulder harness.

Beside her was a much smaller gem, about the size of a Lapis Lazuli, nondescript, rectangular, with her hair tied in a strict bun, and her gem in place of her left eye, dark gray with a faint, metallic luster, as were her hair, her uniform, and just about everything else about her, except perhaps her skin, which, all thing considered, was also dark gray, though a slightly lighter shade.

She kept observing everyone else with her readable dark eyes, occasionally taking notes on her holoscreen clipboard. She was an Anthracite Beaurocrat, rarely seen outside the deep dark bowels of the homeworld or other established colonies. Like the Peridot across the room, she would have been expected to work her life away in the lower levels of either the homeworld or some established colony, rarely seeing starlight or the finer things of existence, laboring ceaselessly to make her silent contribution to the smooth running of the colony, in her case, in terms of organization, logistics and reporting – which meant that she was directly responsible for the implementation of White Diamond's missives and had probably read a lot of them while processing them into reports which to submit to her superiors.

So while she may not have been able to recognize her voice or her face, one could have said that out of the three, Anthracite would have been the most familiar with White Diamond.

It was to this assemblage of illustrious gems that Blue Diamond explained her plan, quite a lot of plans, to which Yellow could only add her own designs, and before long, the many loyal, capable servants of the homeworld set to work to bring forth new engines of doom.

(

At various points of the ensuing discussion, a question was posed to the Sapphire, who otherwise kept standing in her place, waiting till she would be needed again, or was due to speak her next string of long-since predetermined words.

"If we do this, will the rebels be wiped out of existence?"

"I don't see the planet being colonized."

"So you're saying this course of action would lead to our defeat?"

"I don't see the rebels retaining control of the planet, either."

"Then we better think of some other way to get rid of them..."

At the time, neither Sapphire herself nor anyone around her realized the magnitude of what her predictions would imply.

)

….

Through the dense woodlands of the Earth, two gems advanced.

They had entered the forest from different directions, each bearing an uniform with the now obsolete emblems of Pink Diamond – but it was a single being which eventually emerged into a clearing, and when she did, the homeworld insignias were nowhere to be found.

Instead there stood a tall, lanky figure in a glittery, greenish-black bodysuit with a couple of frilly decorative accents in dark green and red, including multiple layers of frills around her wrists, where her sleeves might have ended if her suit did not also include gloves for her hands, and something like a half a skirt that remained open in the front, allowing her some freedom of movement though it still appeared somewhat pieced together.

On her chest, there was an opening surrounded by a ring of dark green frills, revealing a little of her dark green skin, as well as a triangular gemstone. Around it was a crimson, five-pointed star. A second, rectangular gem could be glimpsed on her back between the strands of her long, black hair, which framed her bony, narrow features like a long curtain.

Here amid the trees, she stood for a good while, unhurried and not particularly bothered to be passing the time by herself (insofar as a fusion could ever be considered to be by herself), until a pair of figures emerged from the branches.

There was a pointed, slender individual fiercely brandishing a spear, beside an impressive, large gem in a layered white gown. It was her who finally made the decision to jump down, but though her companion had followed on her cue, she was to touch the ground, landing gently on the layers of old leaves which covered the forest floor.

"Heliotrope! You're finally back!"

"Rose. Pearl." It was brief, somber acknowledgment, decided to get the pleasantries out of the way so that she might continue speaking – The others immediately sensed that she was not bringing good news, not that they had been expecting any of those. Good news had made itself extremely scarce as of late.

"The loyalists. They're plotting something, and I don't know what. Meetings are being called, but ever since Yellow Diamond took over, they've tightened controls like you wouldn't believe.

I'm beginning to think they suspect an inside job. They haven't the faintest clue how you got past their guards. I don't know how much longer I'll be able to get in and out undetected...

Well, actually, I do know, because the pink court has officially been disbanded. All of us are getting carted off to the other courts. Mostly based on who provided most of the source material apart from pink, though it seems that Blue Diamond is taking all the ones that nobody else claimed..."

"And the Rose Quartzes? Pink Diamond made them all on her own-"

Mercifully, Heliotrope had too many other worries going through her gems to notice that just for a moment, Rose had forgotten to say 'us'. She was too concerned with how to say what inevitably came next, her mouth pressed into a thin, ambivalent line – but she chose to step forward and answer, before Pearl had any time to answer, but before she did so, she reached up to her face to tuck some of her hair behind her ear, exposing that she had, in fact, four eyes, though three of them were on the right side of her face, which was usually covered by her hair. Two of them were green, two of them were red, and all of them were now making a deliberate, pointed effort to look into Rose's lone pair.

"I'm sorry. But as soon as word got around of what you did, the others were all rounded up. You're the only one left."

Though the reasons behind it were not quite what Heliotrope had been led to believe, Rose's expression, though subdued, was real enough.

"But- They haven't done anything... It was me..."

Pearl appeared considerably less surprised, as Heliotrope briefly noted before she continued with her explications.

"Good luck telling that to Yellow Diamond... but the thing is, the thing I've been trying to tell you, is that as per the most recent order, Peridot's going to be stuck with Yellow Diamonds' R & D division to aid in the war effort, while Hematite can look forward to spending the rest of her days in a tower on one of White Diamonds' older colonies, where nothing ever happens, since she's not a combat gem or anything. And of course, they'd never see you ever again. Or each other. Or, ypso facto, myself.

You might understand that I'd prefer to bail before that happens. I suppose I'll have to swap espionage for maintenance duty, until I figure out how to teach myself to fight, I suppose, but I wouldn't be the first one-"

"But-" Pearl gasped, stopping herself though her worry was plain on her features.

Rose remained as undaunted as ever, but her expression took on a noticeably somber note. "And you're certain?"

"Y-you were one of our last inside sources." Pearl added, as if to expound on Rose's question, or to clarify it in such a way that it could not be misunderstood "We were hoping that you could still- that you might be able to-..."

"I'm one of the last? But didn't you two know someone in the palace?"

"She ...was shattered." Rose decided.

"No wonder, with how they've cranked up the security as of late!" That might've been Heliotrope's Peridot half, or just whatever portions of her took a short while to grasp the reality of the statement. "...whoever she was, she's saved our lives many times over. Did you ever find out her name?"

Neither of them answered much, though this made no less sense in the version of the story that Heliotrope had been told. The fusion sighed.

"I suppose if I played along, Peridot might be able to peek at what they're cooking up, but I'm not sure if she could manage to keep slipping you intel without Hematite to help her cover her tracks..."

"Heliotrope." Rose stated firmly, "We'd never ask you to be separated with no way of being reunited."

"Well thanks." Heliotrope noted dourly. "But what does that mean for the rebellion?"

"Nothing at all. We'll- we'll find another way. We'll make do without spies if we have to. The important thing is that you're safe. Don't even bother going back, just go directly to our nearest encampment."

And though it was evident that she liked the alternative even less, Heliotrope could not seem to make peace with this turn events, a tug of frustration apparent on her features.

"If only we'd managed to nail Blue Diamond on her last diplomatic visit!"

"Blue Diamond?"

"She would have been the better target."

"What do you mean?" asked Pearl, offended that the fusion would dare to question the great wisdom of Rose Quartz.

And Heliotrope didn't really seem to want to be here, saying this, but she couldn't stop herself either, and it was quite apparent on her face that she deliberated on each statement if it was truly necessary or helpful, or what the best way to say it might have been.

She admired Rose as much as most other members of the rebellion, so the last thing she wanted was to be disagreeing with her, or to be casting doubt on her accomplishments, but at the same time, she could not deny what was now all but obvious in the harsh light of hindsight, and since she had been asked a question, she might as well reply to it.

"Look, Rose... I understand your decision and I stand behind it. The last thing I want is to diminish the monumental nature of what you did. You've proven that the Authority is not untouchable – that the Diamonds can be destroyed just like any of us... and by any of us. You've finally avenged Bismuth. Believe me, I'm as glad as anyone that this terrible gremlin is finally out of this world. I understand that you probably couldn't pick and choose when it came to the opportunities, honestly, it's hard to believe that you could've pulled this off at all...

And I get that, in a sense, Pink Diamond was the most logical one to go for. She was right here on Earth, and she was the most immediate threat to us. But in a whole other sense, she was also the worst possible option..."

Pearl was immediately ready to defend Rose, but the (alleged) quartz motioning for her to wait, appearing honestly surprised at the thought that had just been voiced: "How is that?"

"Well, Pink Diamond was the youngest and the least experienced. Earth was going to be her first colony. It looks like we went for their weakest link, like cowards."

"How can you say that!" protested Pearl.

But Heliotrope seemed to have been expecting that. "I'm not saying that that's how it is. I'm saying that that's what it looks like. We were trying to do politics here, weren't we? From what Rose told us about her, I have absolutely no doubt that Pink Diamond deserved everything she got... And I would never doubt her word any more than you. But the gems at the loyalist camp don't know that.

She was considered one of the 'nice' ones.", she elucidated, the air quotes quite audible even though she didn't physically act them out with her fingers - even the present-day humans had not thought of the gesture, but anyone familiar with it would probably have described the tone of the fusions' voice as such.

"I suppose the truth of it is that she was just marginally less awful than the others, but you've got to look at it from the loyalists' perspective. She was pretty popular across all ranks. Legend says even the pebbles that outfitted her room used to love her. And I'm sure legend is all it is, but no matter what shes really like, you've got to acknowledge that she could be quite... charming, in a way. Maybe in a gaudy fastidious eccentric brat kinda way. I used to like her before I defected... that is, Peridot and Hematite did. Particularly Hematite – She even spoke to her a couple of times, and my impression of her was... nothing like you describe her, really.

I suppose she had me fooled, just like she had everybody fooled – but that's just it.

We used to have the high ground here – and don't get me wrong, we still do.

They're the ones who won't leave us in peace, all because we don't play by their arbitrary rules and refuse to destroy this planet with its unique ecosystem, complete with an entire civilization of innocent primate creatures, while we always did our best to no shatter any innocents... especially you, Rose.

'The rebellion doesn't shatter' – that might not have been the most... practical course of action, but it went a long way when it came to turning others to our side.

But now you've handed them something to rally around, to drum up support. Now they can make you out to be this ultimate, diabolical traitor and play up Pink Diamond as a victim...

That's why I said we should've dusted Blue while we had the chance. She's probably not been in too many real fights, only the upper crust really likes her, and while that pathokinesis of hers seems like a real pain to deal with, it's still miles above being insta-poofed or mind controlled... We could've offed any of the others and spun that to make her out to be the embodiment of all that is wrong with our society.

Instead, we went and killed the most lenient one. That's not going to make them negotiate with us, just because of, you know, self-preservation.

They'd have twisted the truth and dragged our names through the dirt no matter what we did, but when I went to the loyalist camp, it was filled with wails and lamentations – That, and cries for revenge.

Word is that even the other Diamonds have been quite a bit... shaken."

Rose's reaction to this was not at all what Heliotrope had expected – Even if she had expressed compassion for their bitter twisted enemies, she would not have been not have been too surprised, but in any case, she would have predicted a somber, wise, leaderlike response.

Instead, she looked back at Heliotrope like she had just uttered the most ridiculous thing she had ever heard in her life, like it was so ludicrous that she could not help reacting to it even amid the gravity of this serious situation.

"What? The Diamonds? 'quite a bit shaken'? No no, you must've gotten something wrong there, that is absolutely not possible..."

"It's just what Hematite heard from the other elites while she was back at the homeworld encampment."

"Sure, sure she did, but she must've heard it wrong. Or maybe the other elites did, 'cause it can't possibly be true. Since when do the Diamonds care if anyone gets shattered? They've been shattering gems left and right this whole time.

They've been destroying worlds just like this one, taking life without even keeping track of it. Life clearly means nothing at all to them.

And now you wanna tell me that they suddenly care because one gem got shattered?"

"Well. Rumor has it that Pink was always White Diamond's favorite."

('Her favorite to torment maybe', Pink Diamond thought, but of course, Rose Quartz did not say it. )

"Pearl and I have seen some things that you haven't. Believe me, I've tried to speak with- with Pink Diamond many, many times. The Diamonds are completely beyond hope. They're monsters... all four of them."

"Whoha Rose. That's not like you."

"...maybe you're right."

"Figures that you would be angry though, since you care so much about all the life they're destroying... It's not like we can change what is done anymore..."

"That is right, too..." Rose concluded, and her words weighed heavy. "We'll escort you back to the base, it's the least we can do after all the risks you've taken for us."

"Just trying to do my part..." Heliotrope mused, managing something like a slight, strained smile for the first time in the conversation. "Well then, onwards to maintenance duty."

With that, the three rebels continued to advance through the forest, a somber sense of foreboding hanging above them. As of late, not many of their meetings could seem to shake the indistinct cloud of gloom from above their heads. This was just one of many of their recent undertakings that had not quite panned out.

For the sake of her comrades, she did the best to keep up a veneer of certainty and strength, but with every passing moment, she found herself ever more certain that she had bitten off more than she could chew.

All their hopes had been illusions, and she had not told them yet.

Sometimes, she though they were on the verge of noticing on their own, but when that happened, she dutifully talked them out of it, hoping that that little bit of futile faith would at very least make them run faster.

"You know... I used to think that it would be a great thing. To be sent to live on one of White Diamond's oldest strongholds. There's everything a philosopher gem like Hematite could have wanted – Plenty of fancy towers, wise ancient gems, the most enormous libraries and archives full of powerful ancient artifacts. They probably wouldn't let Peridot inside, but if they did, she might have liked them, too.

But that was before...

It's like when I – when we met... did I ever tell you? I don't want to start rambling on you two, you probably have important leader stuff to think about, but its sort of relevant to the point..."

"I'd be honored to hear your story." Rose answered, to Pearl's dismay. But she supposed that Rose's endeavors to make everyone feel valued were part of what made her a great leader.

"It all started out with a broken appliance at the spire.

Peridot was called in to fix it, and Hematite just happened to be pondering her ponderings out loud in her general direction... Peridot was surprised to see the surface. She had spent all her life so far working in the lower levels, and had never heard of anything much like music or history... and Hematite realized that she knew next to nothing about the technology she used every day... she was supposed to be thinking great thoughts to elucidate the nature of gemkind and the universe, but in that moment she realized seen absolutely nothing of it – and so did Peridot.

But we were both curious to learn, so we started talking..."

"And eventually, you fused?"

"No. That wasn't until waaay after, after we'd heard your speeches and met Garnet. But it's probably why the two of us signed up. You can gain a lot of knowledge by sitting in a tower and contemplating what you already know, but it will always be bounded by the limits of your experience. Eventually, you'll have to go take in new data. You'll have to see new things, try out new experiences. And likewise, specialization might have its uses and advantages, but, some problems call for interdisciplinary solutions.

That's what we learned here on Earth... from you two, and from Garnet, and Bismuth... I learned that you can't figure out all the knowledge in the world from sitting up in a tower... or down in a workshop. That the empire should be open to novel approaches... That's why I followed you guys.

Actually, I'm pretty glad I got the chance to tell you that in person... you never know what might happen.

But somehow, I guess I always hoped that after we had archived our political goals, saved the Earth and changed the empire for the better, we'd be able to go back. I don't know what I was thinking, that one day, we'd just report in for Peridot's next shift, fused and all. Hematite's work is literally just to think, so, I can do that while doing Peridot's work, and maybe I'd get some sass at first, but I hoped that, eventually, they'd see how I'm actually better at what I do when I'm fused.

I guess that's never, ever going to happen now. Not after there has been so much dustshed...

Maybe that's just the former upper crust I me showing – I really hope not, but, I suppose I've been able to hope for such a thing because I've been lucky. I can't say I've experienced how bad things could get - I joined because I agreed with your ideas - not because I was facing some huge existential challenge like you, Garnet or Pearl. So maybe I can never understand – I don't know if I can. Peridot and Hematite actually liked their work."

"What about you, Heliotrope? As a fusion, aren't you under threat as well?"

"Maybe, but, others have it way worse than me. I don't want to make this about me. I'm not what's important here. I just want to help where I can... I thought that in supporting you, and gathering intel for you, I was doing what's best for the empire in the long run, to change it for the better. Maybe I was a bit of a smartass, thinking the others just couldn't see that yet, and that they would come around... But it's clear that that's not possible now. Maybe it never was.

I guess we'll have to live with that. We can't stop caring about doing the right thing just because it stops being convenient for us, right?"

"...Right..."

In truth, there was much more that Rose had wanted to say to her now former spy, so many parts of her words that she might even have recognized herself in, the taunting image of the closeness she might have not just with this particular gems but with all her comrades if only she could afford to pull off her mask. But if she were to admit her weakness, then whom would they take their strength from?

(

Later, when Rose would be attending to some urgent business at their base, Pearl would seek out Heliotrope, who would by then have made her way to the training grounds to engage in a few highly amateurish attempts at using a poleaxe.

"How could you speak to Rose like that! After all the risks she took to pull off what she did! After all she gave up!"

"You know how Garnet likes to dispense relationship advice sometimes?

It's true that Hematite and Peridot were excited about the possibilities of cross-gem fusion, and how they might get better at gaining knowledge this way.

But there's a reason that the went to each other when they wanted to try it out. After all it's a scary new experience, and if they asked the wrong gem, they could've been reported. But Peridot knew that she could trust Hematite, because they were best friends.

So if Garnet is the love between Ruby and Sapphire, you can say that I'm Peridot's and Hematite's friendship, bound together by their common interests and passions, and the way they complement each other, and like everything better when they're doing it together... which makes it sound way more grandiose than it actually is, it's not like any of us have this figured out – but, the point being...

Friends tell friends what they need to know in order to make decisions. If it were me and I were making a crucial miscalculation, I'd want my friends to tell me that to my face... At least, that's what I think.

I'm not sure if I succeeded but, I only meant to help."

"Well, 'thank you' for your 'help', Heliotrope. Also, you're holding this wrong."

And that was that.

)

….

Right upon their return, they had been tasked to decide with the remains of the fallen, insofar as the others had managed to gather them up in their absence. Garnet, who had been holding down the fort in their absence, had the questionable pleasure of organizing the search for them, and at least, they had been able to pick up a few stray survivors that had just been poofed or seriously cracked, but most of what they brought back were casualties, mixed with the fallen from the other side – as per Rose's orders, those had been retrieved as well.

Among the crystal gems, the losses had been the heaviest among their newest, least experienced recruits. Rose had made a point of welcoming many of them herself; Garnet and Pearl had overseen their training – but by and large, most veteran crystal gems had been too busy with the demands of actual warfare to have the time to get to know them very well - They had come here full of hope for a better life, and ended up shattered before they ever got the opportunity to fully get used to life with the rebels.

Maybe she and Pearl and Garnet could have said that if they were destroyed now, after having been free, it would be worth it, but the same could not be said for these fresh recruits.

Always, Rose would find herself thinking over all the ways in which she might have prevented this, but though she told herself again and again that the alternative would have been to let the Authority destroy this planet and so many of her comrades whom they saw as deviants, that soon began to sound hollow and worn out.

With every life lost, her obligation to somehow turn the tide of this war only increased and while even she could not completely succeed at concealing the crushing feeling of guilt that was ever weighing down her shoulders, she could not let the others see her doubts.

One might have thought that since Pearl had been her co-conspirator from the beginning, she might have been the one person around which she could drop the pretense – and they would have thought wrong.

But while there were always some things she kept to herself, Pearl was still her confidant – this grievous strife had taken too much out of both of them for either them to bear it on their own.

They found each other in a grove of blossoming trees, not far from the camp, and held onto each other for hours, hoping to see the sunrise together.

Instead, they had to leave before the crack of dawn, when one of their patrols reported a run-in with a homeworld scouting party.

And before she knew it, Rose Quartz, or whoever she was supposed to be, was on the run once again, the events of the day still lodged in her mind.

They had to go, lest they be destroyed by the gems she had once wanted to save. She wanted them to be free of their allegiance to her, to do with their lives whatever they wished – she couldn't start having second thoughts just because what they wished to do was, in fact, to destroy her.

She had been prepared to become the designated lightning rod for their wrath, to become the most wanted gem on earth if need be – but that was because she wanted it to be her, and not them. In the end, homeworld's forces had torn right through the lives of their comrades just to get to her – She had wanted to protect them, but she had put them all in danger...

But what other way was there?

Always running, always hiding, she no longer really knew who she was even trying to be, or how it ever mattered – she only what she must do, what she could not, under any circumstance, allow to happen.

...

"My Diamond, we've... found something."

"It better be the rebel base."

"Not quite. To be sure, I don't know what to make of it. These seem to be the shards of the fallen from our previous altercation – a whole battlefield's worth, just... buried in the ground."

It was then that a lone quartz stepped out of formation, a recent transference from Pink's former forces who had not yet had the opportunity to replace the insignia on her uniform.

"Commander. Your Luminosity. May I have permission to speak?"

Yellow Diamond merely glanced at Citrine, leaving it to her discretion.

Citrine, in turn, simply nodded. "At ease, soldier."

"This was the rebels, no two ways about it. They must've picked up this rite from the local organics. They sometimes bury their dead in the ground like this, when they don't burn them. I've seen them do it. Don't ask me why Rose Quartz and her ilk would copy those primitive creatures, but, this is their doing, and they can't have gone far. If their base isn't nearby, it will be because they're fleeing as we speak."

"Then pursue them!"

"Understood".

After a quick bow and a salute, Citrine went right back to dispensing orders to her subordinates, determined to catch the rebels before they could make their escape.

The earthborn Jasper who had spoken earlier was among the first to run after them.

It was only after the quartzes had, for the most part, moved out, that the Hessonite who had been overseeing their advance turned to address her liege once again.

"What shall we do with the rebels' remains, my Diamond?"

"Bring them back to facility BX-Kappa, and have Peridot Y73 conduct an examination. I want a report within two cycles. We might still get some use out of them... whether they like it or not."

A/N: As for the various OCs here, I mostly threw them in because I really wanted a particular dialogue but the lines didn't fit any of the ppl present.

I kinda needed a cynic character, someone who'd be the Haruka to Pink Diamond's sailor moon, and I couldn't see Garnet or Pearl in that role. Lapis & 'our' Peridot aren't present yet, Bismuth is already bubbled...

And I remembered reading this article about a biology conference where someone said "Let's forget about the genome for a moment" - in that it was this huge, stylized achievement that ppl attached lots of meaning to, but also just a stepping stone that is not per se useful without understanding transcription and proteins as well. It would probably take someone like that scientist to say, "Yeah, it's impressive that we took down one of the Diamonds but it kinda backfired and maybe we could've done this better..." - not that she's supposed to be right about everything.

Also, when everyone and their dog was making gemsonas I remember pondering that if I were a gem, I might be a fusion, and the components would be like my nerdy side and my romantic side. Also, I thought it might be interesting to consider a permafusion that was something other than a couple and the first other example for why ppl might want to permanently stick together I could think of was if they were BFF.

It was also kind of interesting to sorta show the whole war from the PoV of team evil and go into a bit of detail with them there, which will continue in the next chapter, which might get a bit ambitious, in a way that I'm kinda looking forward to. I know I promised you some necromancy and I only kinda got to that point a little bit at the very end, but, I basically put everything here that wouldn't go with the structure of the next one. I hope my plan actually works out because else im just rambling here