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Chapter 53

Talk to me

Sanji slowly looked up to watch the swordsman beside him.

Zoro had already entered their room for several minutes. The cook had settled down there an hour earlier and he hadn't wanted to go out again. Weather was rainy for a few days and the cold wind that was added this morning didn't encourage him to return outside before he was required to prepare lunch. So he had sat against the bedpost and reviewed his latest recipes in his little notebook. Then Zoro had opened the door.

At first surprised, Sanji had quickly noticed the latter didn't take him more into consideration than the previous two weeks. He had therefore stubbornly plunged back into his notes and had heard in spite of himself the fencer searching through his belongings before he found his cleaning kit. Zoro had then sat on the bed not far from the cook to wipe his blades dripping with rain but even so, he hadn't spoken to him.

That's how for the past ten minutes, Sanji had been doing his best to ignore in his turn the fencer's presence. He wanted to focus on his recipes but he had to face the facts: he had been staring at the same page since his arrival.

Two weeks. It had been two long weeks since they had set sail and that he had understood Zoro was behaving differently towards him. But it had also been two weeks since he hadn't made any progress at all on the subject.

Annoyed, Sanji straightened up on the mattress and closed his notebook. This situation was stupid, he had to do something. He then glanced at the swordsman who was methodically continuing his work and didn't seem to have noticed that his partner wanted to start a conversation.

This vision blocked the cook in his tracks and he let himself softly fall back against the bedpost, defeated. He wanted to talk about it with Zoro but what could he say? That he was wondering? That he no longer understood his reactions? That he had started to imagine things uglier than the last?

He had done everything he could in the past two weeks. He had offered to talk and the swordsman had reassured him with an emotionless voice. He had stopped asking questions and Zoro had rewarded him by letting the silence endlessly stretch between them. He had wondered if he was sick and had discreetly consulted Chopper, without success. He had prepared his favorite dishes in the hope of creating some reaction. He had provoked him to the limit of harassment so that he got angry. But nothing. Absolutely nothing.

He had even considered being completely paranoid, but despite his efforts to convince himself, he couldn't deny their relationship had changed. This indescribable uneasiness was palpable, their silences were real and a sneaky distance had crept in between them.

Sanji opened his mouth to speak all the same before changing his mind again. He had expressed his concern beyond reason and left his pride aside to try to find a solution. For his part, Zoro was showing no sign of wanting to change his attitude or even to tell he had noticed that something was wrong.

The blond nervously took out a cigarette from his pocket and let it hang between his lips. How to continue to support a relationship that was crumbling under his fingers without him even knowing the reason? At least, if the fencer broke the silence, the cook could have improved what displeased him but he said nothing.

Sanji was feeling his own desire dull. He was feeling humiliated to be treated this way. He was feeling bad for being so weak and depending on what Zoro decided to give him since he was spending his time begging for a word or a look from him.

Now the swordsman was just a machine towards him. He was seeing him, recognizing him, but paid him no particular attention. His behavior with others had also slightly changed, but in such a way that he doubted his crewmates had noticed anything. Zoro was just a little more taciturn than usual, but his gruff exterior could easily conceal this slight change. He had noticed the difference because he was used to perceiving another facet of the fencer that the latter was keeping only for him. But not anymore.

Sitting side by side without even seeing themselves, Sanji clenched his teeth around his cigarette butt. Words were bouncing in his head at full speed, but he didn't want to be the only one who cared anymore. If their distance wasn't disturbing the swordsman, it was probably because he didn't care.

The cook stood up and left the room without a word being said. Zoro made no move to hold him back. Perhaps he hadn't even noticed he was now alone.

Sanji cleared the table and settle his four budding cooks each at one end so that they didn't interfere with each other.

The blond didn't like his lair to be used as a daycare in normal times, but Nami's long flirtatious lashes had quickly changed his mind. Indeed, the navigator didn't want to see the crew catch the rain and then dirty the whole ship so she had asked the cook to keep Luffy, Chopper, Usopp and Brook occupied after lunch. For their part, Franky had preferred to go tinkering in his workshop and Zoro had rushed to the crow's nest while the girls had quietly sat in the library.

"So, you've decided what you wanna do?"

Sanji had suggested to his friends to prepare the next meal in the form of a cocktail party where everyone could pick whatever he wanted. Thus they had the right to leaf through the various aperitif recipes available to choose their favorite.

"Parmesan bites look first-rate!" the skeleton got enthused.

"Excellent choice, Brook", the cook agreed, bringing him the necessary ingredients. "Nami-san and Robin-chan appreciate the refinement of the parmesan cheese and I'll complete with a salad of mixed greens."

"I wanna do that!" Luffy cried out.

Sanji leaned over his shoulder and shrugged.

"Okay, I'll bring you the brick sheets."

The straw hat boy then licked his lips while contemplating the illustration of lamb cones with apples and raisins.

"By the way, I'm warning you. If you eat them before this evening, I'd personally make sure you have nothing to eat until the next island", the blond casually added, handing him the apples.

Luffy strongly nodded, smiling from ear to ear, and Sanji moved on to Chopper.

"I'd like to make tapas so that everyone has the taste they prefer!" the little reindeer showed him.

"That's really nice of you", the cook said, smiling. "I'll help you finalize toppings if you need."

"Thank you!"

The blond finally turned to Usopp who pointed out scrambled eggs with smoked salmon verrines.

"It doesn't look too complicated, I'll try."

"It's impossible to fail", his friend confirmed.

After giving out ingredients and instructions, the cook watched the four crew members get to work with concentration. He then regularly checked with them to ensure the recipes ran smoothly while preparing an additional platter of rolls of raw ham, stuffed cherry tomatoes and coconut fish bites.

Long minutes passed amidst the studious noise of preparations. Usopp was working with all his might to cut the salmon into symmetrical strips since Sanji had pushed the previous ones away, not aesthetic enough for his liking. Meanwhile, Brook was relentlessly turning the contents of his pan so his parmesan cheese didn't stick.

"How are you doing, Chopper?" the blond asked, approaching him. "It's a lot of work for you..."

The little reindeer shook his head and wiped his hands covered with sauce on his apron.

"I made purple artichoke tartlets for Nami, sardine toasts for Usopp and chorizo kebabs for Luffy!" he proudly showed him. "Then I'll have shrimps kebabs for Robin, anchovy straws for Zoro, parsley mussels for Brook, mini-quiches with bacon and Comté cheese for Franky and for you, I was thinking about doing olives bites!"

He suddenly stopped and watched the cook with big worried eyes.

"Do you think it'll be okay? Maybe Franky would prefer something with cola..."

"It'll be perfect, Chopper", his friend reassured him with a fond smile. "But tell me, aren't you forgetting someone?"

This one frowned and Sanji patted his head.

"I think the ship's doctor would appreciate apricot and goat cheese tapas, wouldn't he?"

"Oh yes! It looks yummy!"

Chopper went back to work again and Sanji was going to head to the stove to watch his fish simmering in coconut milk when a huge sniffling sound was heard behind him. He turned his head and saw big tears rolling down his captain's cheeks to the table.

"Luffy?" he asked, wide-eyed.

"Is everything all right?" Brook who had also looked up asked him.

"It-It's okay", the latter replied somehow.

"What's the matter with you?" Usopp insisted, putting down his knife and frowning.

"Are you hurt?" Chopper was alarmed. "You want me to look?"

To their surprise, they heard the cook suddenly burst out laughing and they all turned an astonished gaze at him.

"My poor Luffy, how many onions have you peeled?" the blond finally asked.

"I... I dunno, I just... did everything you gave me", the captain bravely replied.

A sympathetic smile on his lips, Sanji gently shook his head and came closer. The straw hat boy had still cut more than two kilos...

"There's plenty for your recipe."

Luffy put down his knife and looked up, his eyes puffy and watery.

"It stings, Sanji", he sniffed.

The latter pressed his shoulder to comfort him.

"I know. For your trouble, I'm gonna make an onion pie with what you peeled. What do you say?"

"Just for me?" the captain hopefully wanted to know.

"Just for you."

"Awesome!"

At these words, he started the apples peeling with formidable energy and Sanji took care to leave him only the exact number so that he didn't take this pretext to claim the apples afterwards.

"Robin! Chopper!"

The navigator's excited voice raised the head of the apprentice cooks and their teacher. They turned a questioning look to the small reindeer who hastened to put down his utensils and rush towards the door.

"I'm coming, Nami!"

Puzzled, Usopp, Brook and Luffy quickly followed him and Sanji made sure they didn't leave anything on the fire before following them.

Outside, everyone had already gathered around the navigator seated near the mast slightly spared from the wind. The rain had stopped by the end of the afternoon, but the weather remained gray and the water was slowly streaming over the entire ship.

"Look!" she showed the two persons concerned who had approached.

She opened a thick magazine and pointed to a page, visibly delighted.

"They did it, they published us!"

"Really?!"

Chopper eagerly ran his eye over the article, stars in his eyes.

"We're in the monthly edition!" he raved.

"These aren't the main pages but it's encouraging for a first publication!" Nami agreed with excitement.

The two friends began to happily comment on the news as Robin was grabbing the magazine, Franky and Sanji leaning over her shoulder.

"It's still a full double page!" the cook exclaimed, in awe.

"You haven't signed with your real names", the cyborg was surprised.

"They probably wouldn't have bothered to publish us knowing who we really were", the archaeologist explained, studying the article in her turn.

"Won't it bother you for the future? Anyone can claim your articles!" Usopp pointed out to her.

"The cross-cutting approach of our three disciplines will be difficult to imitate", the young woman replied.

"Are you going to be paid?" Brook wanted to know.

"Hardly. It is above all a means of making ourselves known to the scientific community."

"Nami had tried to negotiate something when she called them, right?" Zoro remembered.

"Yes, she wanted the article to be in this month's edition because the interviews of the Grand Line's specialists attract more readers", she approved. "It seems to have worked."

"We should celebrate!" Luffy got enthused, turning to his cook. "What if we made great food?!"

Sanji nodded and took a cigarette out of his pack.

"In this case, you'll have to work harder. You've got more than half of the dishes to do."

"Let's go!"

The captain's elastic arms tore Chopper from his conversation with the navigator while Brook and Usopp were dragged to the first floor. For his part, Sanji took the time to light his cigarette and take a long drag before heading to the kitchen, letting the rest of the crew continue their discussion. Despite the captain's anxiety, he knew that everything would be ready on time. He would make sure of it.

The cook and his disciples for a day had set the buffet in the aquarium for a festive and comforting evening since the rain had been pouring again continuously for more than an hour. Trays were therefore placed everywhere in the room and the bar that the ship's carpenter had recently built was brimming over with colorful cocktails. The bluish reflections of the aquarium brought an intimate touch and the subdued light that Usopp had added for the occasion guaranteed the warm atmosphere.

Everyone was now dipping with enthusiasm into the multiple plates available and Chopper couldn't stop insulting his friends who complimented him on each occasion for his personalized tapas. For his part, Sanji had prepared drinks and then supervised the last details to reheat the dishes bit by bit.

Suddenly seeing the navigator's glass almost empty, the blond grabbed the white wine bottle and approached the small group she formed with Robin, Franky and Usopp.

"What will the next island look like?" the sniper was asking the navigator.

"Nothing special", the young woman replied, shrugging her shoulders. "It's a small commercial island with a spring climate and it'll take another good week to reach it. I hope to find an exchange office and experts to assess the value of our stones."

At that moment, the cook filled her glass and she thanked him with a nod.

"How much do you think we can get?" Franky asked her.

"A lot", Nami told him, a confident smile on her lips. "Trust me, you can buy your new wood for the Sunny's frame without any problem."

"Super!"

The four friends raised their glasses to drink to this prospect and Sanji moved away towards Brook, Zoro and Chopper after having grabbed new bottles.

"And then, Luffy couldn't stop crying!" the little reindeer told the swordsman, sitting on the couch next to his friends.

"He cried?" the fencer repeated, clearly astonished. "What the hell happened to him?"

"We immediately imagined the worst", Brook went on. "Perhaps he was hurt or regretted having promised not to eat his dish!"

"Actually, that's Sanji who got it", Chopper spoke again, swallowing an apricot with goat cheese. "Luffy was crying because of the onions!"

"Poor man was peeling our cook's entire supply!" the skeleton added with a sorry look.

"Oh."

The swordsman looked up as the said cook was coming up to them.

"I almost thought he had an allergy at first", he stated, serving Brook and Chopper some milk.

"That's true, his eyes were so red!" the doctor remembered, shaking his head.

Sanji threw a bottle of sake at the fencer who caught it without a word then he made a turn on himself before frowning.

"By the way, where's this glutton with an elastic belly?"

"He's gone to get his last lamb cones", Brook replied, taking a sip of his drink.

"I told him to let them warm up another five minutes!" Sanji growled.

"He couldn't wait", Chopper sighed.

The little reindeer then presented an anchovy straw to the swordsman who accepted it with a smile.

"If he comes back with an empty plate, there'll be hell to pay", the blond finally grumbled, walking away to rearrange the buffet.

A few moments later, the cook allowed himself a break and sat a little apart on one of the red armchairs. However, he checked again out of the corner of his eye that no one wanted anything before letting himself go against the seat.

He then watched Luffy and Brook proudly walk around with their friends to offer their dishes. The captain had dragged his musician as soon as he had come back from the kitchen and if Sanji hadn't failed to notice that two cones were missing, Brook's dish was intact and he had decided to get past it in front of his radiant smile.

Sanji then smiled as he remembered his own beginnings, when he had turned up in the kitchen with his eyes bright with pride to announce to Zeff that customers had liked his dish for the first time. It hadn't prevented him from being kicked for the mediocrity of his following preparations, but the feeling of joy he had felt at the idea of having satisfied someone had never left him since.

The blond snapped out of his thoughts when Franky sat down next to him, a drink of cola in one hand and a mini quiche in the other.

"Ah, these little dinners are super!" the cyborg noted, sighing with pleasure. "We can say we're being spoiled."

Sanji nodded and took a sip of wine.

"Look at this", the carpenter continued after swallowing his quiche. "Delicious meals, crazy adventures in super company and a roof over our heads that'll protect us no matter what. Who can ask for more?"

"You're right", the cook approved. "What more could we want in these conditions? We can only be grateful to our lucky star."

"Amen", the cyborg applauded, emptying his drink. "Ah, I'm gonna get another one!"

Sanji absent-mindedly followed him with his eyes to the counter and his gaze was then drawn to the swordsman's figure who was chatting with Usopp at the other end of the room. As he was losing himself in contemplation, Franky's words echoed painfully in him. Why did he always want more? He already had so many priceless and unexpected treasures when traveling on the Sunny with his friends. Yet he was missing something now. He had tasted a fruit as delicious as addictive with Zoro and he had never realized his luck before it was taken from him.

The crew's cook sighed, lulled by the sound of ambient conversations and rain against the frame of the ship. Maybe he should just let time do its work. Maybe he had to wait for Zoro to notice him again. In any case, he was going to hope. It was the only thing he had left.

Sanji knocked a new just washed plate over which crashed on the floor. It was the second of the evening.

"Goddamn it!"

Cursing his clumsiness, the blond carefully picked up the pieces and began to sweep the floor, strongly swearing.

"Is there a problem, master chef?" the archeologist asked, poking her head in the kitchen around the half-open door.

"Thank you, Robin-chan. It just got out of my hands."

The young woman didn't add anything but despite his heart-shaped smiles, he saw that he hadn't completely convinced her. However, she closed the door behind her and Sanji sighed. He knew Robin had noticed his sullen mood for the past few days, but he was also grateful she didn't ask him about it. He wouldn't have known what to tell her. He didn't even know what to think.

Since their last silent confrontation in the bedroom six days before, nothing had changed between him and Zoro. The fencer was continuing to demand to drink, to answer him, to come to eat at meal times and to train. But his provocations had definitely lost their arrogance, their fights were ending barely started and his eyes on the cook were remaining desperately dull. Zoro was becoming an empty shell and Sanji had the unpleasant impression he was no stranger to this change despite what the swordsman had told him on the last island.

So it had been six days since the dinner cocktail in the aquarium and six days since Sanji had decided not to do anything either so that the fencer would finally react. He had wanted to test how far the swordsman was ready to go in this unhealthy game but this idea had backfired when Zoro hadn't answered and the blond was now about to explode. His hopes had melted away and his disappointment had gradually been diluted in his anger.

He had understood what the swordsman was doing: Zoro was treating him more and more with indifference, as if the cook had become again a crew's member like any other. Even worse, he was behaving with him as if he were any ordinary person in his life, even rejecting their past relationship before they got close. This very special bond made of hostility and excessive rivalry which served at the same time to mark their deep esteem for each other had indeed also disappeared. He and Zoro no longer shared anything except to pace up and down the same ship today.

The fact that the fencer had the nerve to deny everything they had been through in recent months was driving the crew's cook mad. Mad with rage.

He quite understood that the marimo ignored him in front of the others for an unclear reason of pride but that he also did it when they were alone had never been part of their agreement. Zoro still didn't affront him by not stopping in their room but he was feeling it was only a matter of time. Anyway, seeing him go to bed next to him all these days without being able to get him to speak more than three words had become unbearable and the cook was literally enraged at the approach of a new night.

Sanji bit his lip again and threw his cloth over the sink, furious. This situation had to stop. He had fulfilled his part and the fencer better do the same quickly.

Tonight, he was losing patience.

As soon as his kitchen was cleaned and tied up, the blond went out on the deck smoking a cigarette under the moonlight. The weather was still humid but it wasn't raining at least. The spring climate of the next island was beginning to be felt.

Sanji had made a decision. He was going to wait for the end of his partner's watch around midnight to demand an explanation he had been waiting for too long.

He couldn't live this way anymore. Despite himself, he was no longer breathing. He was spending too much of his time wondering what he had done wrong. He was alternating phases of dejection where he wanted to curl up in his bed with those of anger where he burned to destroy everything.

He was tired. Tired of his behavior and the one of the fencer. Tired of waiting. Tired of hoping. Tired of this relationship which was no longer one.

So when he got to their room, Sanji leaned against the opposite wall in the dark and triturated his pack of cigarettes. No matter what would happen or what Zoro would say to him, he would make sure something happened this time at last.

Around the appointed time, the swordsman appeared with an equal step. He didn't bother turning on the light and Sanji watched him sit on the bed without even glancing at him as he was leaning against the wall, yet obviously waiting to see him. He then felt his anger suddenly swell in him and he stood in front of the fool who had been playing with his nerves for too long.

"All right, now enough. I've been patient, so you better tell me what's going on with you."

Zoro frowned and gave him a neutral look through the moving shadows of the room.

"There's nothing."

The cook was tempted to kick his head against the wall for replying in such a quiet voice. As if indeed, there was nothing special going on.

"Are you sure?" he growled, crushing his cigarette butt between his teeth.

His voice was trembling with restrained fury and he hoped the intensity he had put in his voice was also hiding his growing uneasiness.

"I'm sure."

At these words, Sanji took a deep breath and pulled the cigarette out of the corner of his mouth. Looking up at the fencer, he gazed at him for a long time.

"Okay, I'm done. Either you talk or you get out of here and you don't come back."

There was silence for a few moments in the small room where the two men were staring at each other, one surprised and the other determined. Sanji had resolved to reach a decision this evening and he intended to stick to it. So he didn't blink. Either way, he needed an answer.

Zoro stood up and his swords tinkled at his waist as he walked towards the door. Sanji followed him with his eyes in disbelief before feeling a dull pain tearing him from the inside.

"You bastard. You actually have no sense of honor", he spat in a bitter voice.

The fencer turned around and seemed to want to answer him but finally, no sound came out of his mouth and he walked out the door before gently closing it behind him.

The next seconds seemed to freeze out of time until the cook lit his cigarette with a trembling hand.

Yes, it had gone worse than he had thought but at least he knew what to expect now. Why had he trust this man? He had thought he understood something about the swordsman of the straw hat crew, but obviously he had been wrong.

Suddenly exhausted, Sanji dropped onto the bed and closed his eyes. He wanted to sleep.

Sleep and forget.

Well, yeah, I did it...

I don't know if you saw that coming but it was planned from the start when I wrote that story.

I did my best for you to identify with Sanji but Zoro's reasons will come in the next chapters.

Hold tight, it's not the end of the emotional rollercoaster!