AHHH! SCHOOL STARTS IN 3 DAYS! щ(゜ロ゜щ)
I'M NOT READY TO BE A JUNIOR IN HIGH SCHOOL YET! WITH 4 OUT OF 6 CLASSES BEING HONORS AND AP CLASSES?!
I'm so tired.. It's 2am, and I've been spending the last several hours writing out the 100 Hot SAT words and AP Rhetorical Phrases on note cards.. I started around 7pm..
I actually finished chapter before I started, but decided that posting this chapter would be my motivation to finish. If I finished the notecards and flashcard, I could post this chapter! And I did! (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و Super proud of myself!
Enjoy!
Three Days Later
-Kanra has entered the chatroom-
Tanaka: Oh, hello Kanra-chan!
Bakyura: Hey, look who finally decided to show up!
Kanra: Sorry, I've been pretty busy
Setton: During a snowstorm?
Kanra: Work related issues, I'm lucky I was able to send the emails to tell my boss
Bakyura: Oh? No over the top emoticons and exclamation points? Are you dying?
Kanra: Whatever
Saika: I'm just thankful school is out right now
Setton: I can't do my job now, hopefully it won't last much longer
Tanaka: I kind of hope the snow storm stays, it'd be nice to have a break from classes
Bakyura: Hah! Sucks to be you guys, it's all sunny skies down by the beach~!
Saika: That's not very nice, Bakyura-kun
Bakyura: Whatevs, I'll finish this conversation and then go swimming
Tanaka: Haha, sure whatever. Our power will probably be out soon again then we won't have to hear you brag.
Bakyura: Don't be jealous, Tanaka~
Tanaka: I'm not!
Bakyura: Yes you are~!
Kanra: gtfhgjhfvgc974erjgsmvjuyrjm/,1y38b
Bakyura: What the fuck?
Setton: Um.. Kanra?
Tanaka: What just happened?
Saika: I don't know
Bakyura: Maybe she finally keeled over and died
Tanaka: Bakyura-kun!
Setton: Maybe she just glitched?
While the chat group pondered the strange, random message, if one were to find themselves in a certain informant broker's penthouse, they would see him hunched over, asleep on his keyboard. As his text box continued to fill with random messages, Izaya remained asleep, his arms hanging off the desk.
He probably would have remained asleep for quite a long time past that, if it weren't for the power suddenly shutting off again. His screen flashed white, before shutting down, along with all other plugged in electronics. The flash of white, peddled with the weird noise the computer made, caused the raven to jerk up in surprise, a weird snort escaping him as he looked up, frantically trying to see what made the noise.
Izaya's baggy red eyes stared at the black screen of his computer, the power button wasn't even lit up. He then sighed, running a hand over his pale face. "You have got to be kidding me.." He groaned, his hand going to run through his messy hair. Because he hadn't exactly had a chance to do it, it was sticking up in all directions.
Izaya pressed his fingers to his throbbing temples, thanking himself for choosing to email the people he needed to talk to before he went into the chatroom. But now power went out, and he was left with no way of knowing if Shiki got his replies or not. Oh well, hopefully the man would take his advice and visit when the storm was over, the baby would be gone by then so he wouldn't have to worry.
Speaking of Haru, I should probably go check on him. He hasn't made any noise in like 2 minutes, usually he's shrieking the second I try and put him down.. Izaya thought. I'm starting to worry about that. Wait, no. I'm not worried. It's not my problem.
The sleep deprived raven stood up, forcing himself to walk towards the stairs. However, in his exhausted state, he missed the stairs entirely. Instead, he smacked into the wall next to it facefirst. Izaya groaned out in pain, peeling himself off the wall as his hand went to his throbbing nose. Pulling it away at the feeling of something wet on it, he found blood on his hand. Great, now he had a bloody nose too.
He sighed in annoyance, now taking extra care to make sure he was in front of the stairs, grabbing the railing, and taking the trip upstairs. He went to his room, slowly opening it up. As soon as he got near the door, he heard Haru's nervous whimpers. Instantly, Izaya felt that strange, protective feeling rise up in his chest as he moved quickly into his bedroom.
He could see the baby, looking around and whimpering frantically. Then, he saw Izaya in his view. Instantly, the baby grew excited. He wiggles his body, kicking his legs in his duck pajamas, and released excited peals of laughter.
Once again, a genuine smile crawled up on his face, Dammit, how did this child manage to make him smile so easily?!
However, as he got closer to the crib, a trail of blood leaked from his nose. The baby froze, his blue eyes widening at the sight. Then, he flew into full blown shrieks of terror.
Izaya's eyes widened in shock and confusion, suddenly he was wide awake. "Ahh! What's wrong?!" He questioned aloud, suddenly feeling the wet feeling on his top lip. Oh, the blood is scaring him!
Usually, blood wasn't something that seemed to bother babies. If Izaya had to guess, based on the bruises the poor child had, he knew what blood was. EVen at that tender age he probably knew.
The raven felt huge, violent, all encompassing guilt flow through his body. This time, he didn't try to deny or stop it. He was the best informant broker in Tokyo, he should have known something like this! I feel like such a horrible parent..
Before Izaya could catch himself and switch the word 'parent' to another word that involved less bonding, he quickly wiped the blood away from his nose. He held his sleeve there for a moment, feeling the nosebleed stop.
"Haru, look," He said quickly, pulling his hand away,"Look, all gone, all better Haru, it's okay now."
The baby didn't seem to care, and continued crying. Izaya felt panicked once more, reaching in and grabbing the baby. He didn't understand, he was fed, his diaper was still dry, what could possibly be making him sad? Izaya needed to calm him down.
Izaya's mind raced, thinking back. What did his mother used to do when his sisters cried? She used to act silly. The thought may have sounded revolting a few days ago, but after dealing with dirty diapers, vomit, irregular sleeping hours, and many other things, even what was left of Izaya's pride was willing to surrender for a moment.
He held up the child a bit, and softly said,"Haru." The baby boy stopped for a moment, staring through his tears. In that moment, Izaya stuck his tongue out, wiggling it and making weird noises.
Haru's eyes widened in surprise for a moment, before he let out a peal of giggles. The baby's laughter was like music to Izaya's ears, something he couldn't seem to get enough of. He moved so they were sitting on the bed, and sticking his tongue out again, causing the laughter to come back once more.
Izaya didn't think he would have been able to stop this giddy if he tried his hardest. Something about the happy noise, and the fact that Izaya was the one who caused him to laugh. He was making someone happy and, for some reason, it felt so much better than causing all the trouble he usually did.
Haru released another happy sound, taking his hands and reaching out. Izaya leaned down, letting Haru's hands cover his mouth. When he pulled his hands away, Izaya stuck his tongue out again, and exclaimed,"Bleh!"
Haru jumped, letting out another loud, happy peal of giggles. Soon, Haru's laughter gained an additional partner that was Izaya's laughter. It had been so long since Izaya laughed or genuinely smiled, he didn't think he could stop.
The laughter and noises turned into peekaboo, then tickling, and then eventually cuddling. The energetic Haru had fallen fast asleep on Izaya's chest, and Izaya was not far behind.
It seemed that ever since Haru came around, Izaya had been unable to keep his mask up. But for some reason, he didn't mind that. In fact, he welcomed it. It felt so nice to be off guard, to just relax, to even have someone else by his side that didn't hate him. Sure, everyone he knew would probably laugh if they heard the big bad Izaya was acting like this, making silly faces to cheer up a tiny baby boy.
But as long as it was for Haru, Izaya didn't mind.
Before meeting Izaya, Haru was obviously an abused and neglected baby, even though Izaya couldn't fathom a reason someone would want to injured such a sweet and innocent kid. But, the after effects showed on how much the baby needed Izaya's attention, if Izaya wasn't close enough, Haru would start to panic badly. Izaya knew this was because Haru felt safe with him, after all he was Haru's fath- um.. Caretaker, and the first person Haru knew who genuinely cared for him. (Izaya found he couldn't deny that fact anymore).
Izaya usually kept him close anyways, he was a baby after all. Haru would usually be close or nearby, sitting in a baby bouncer Aoi let him borrow. However, this wasn't enough for Haru. He wanted to be with the raven, cuddled against him, to be kept close. If that didn't happen, the baby would start to get nervous, then start to cry and reach for him desperately. The raven didn't mind, he would hold the child and calm him down, sometimes he could multitask. However, the rave
Izaya first realized this when power finally returned the next day, and he tried to answer any emails he hadn't managed to a few days ago.. Well, tried.
Haru was close by, close enough that he could see Izaya. But to him, that wasn't close enough. Izaya tried to give him toys, but the baby would often drop them the second he caught sight of the raven, and started to panic again.
Izaya ignored the sounds at first, typing an extremely long email to Shiki about information he was supposed to deliver months ago. It was a lot, and his hands were flying across the keyboard to try and explain it all. He spent some time trying to decide how to deliver this information to Shiki, some of it was difficult.. But it didn't help that he was still trying and failing at getting a stable sleeping schedule, he was completely exhausted still..
"Ahh!" Haru suddenly cried, starting to whimper and shift around, causing the baby bouncer to squeak loudly.
Izaya frowned, slowing down his typing to look at the baby. Haru's blue eyes saw Izaya's red eyes turn towards him, and started to shift even more, letting out hopeful noises.
Giving an exhausted sigh, Izaya stood up, walking over, and picking up the baby. Haru instantly burrowed against the raven, sighing happily. "Haru," Izaya grumbled halfheartedly,"I can't keep doing this, you know I have work. I can't type very well with one hand, and I have nothing to hold you with."
Haru, obviously, didn't understand him. He simply stayed against Izaya, relaxing immensely, because he adored Izaya more than anything in the world. A few days ago, this may have made Izaya mad, he may have even snapped at the child. However, Izaya could not deny it anymore. He genuinely cared for Haru, he was Izaya's main priority now. Well.. It wasn't like he had a due date for the information.. Plus, he could explain it much easier in person.
Making up his mind, Izaya slowly shifted Haru to one arm, and looked back at his computer. His hand hovered over the keyboard, before he pressed and held the backspace button. Then, with one hand, he typed out 'It would be easier to explain in person, once the snow is gone, please come visit me and I'll explain everything'
After sending it, Izaya turned off his computer and moved away from it. He couldn't be tempted by it, he needed to remember who was more important. It was his so- It was Haru.
He sat on the couch, letting the baby clutch to him as he rocked him gently back and forth. As much as his boss might get mad at him, Izaya decided that he didn't care. Haru needed him more right now.
And as long as it was for Haru, Izaya didn't mind.
About two days later, Izaya had been holding Haru after burping him, when a rancid smell reached his nose. "You smell nasty right now," He grumbled, using a hand to rub his eyes. "How do babies deal with it? Surely you can smell that too?"
Haru didn't seem to care, continuing to shake the small stuff duck in his hand while gurgling out random noises. Izaya rolled his eyes good naturedly, before he stood with the baby, causing the blue eyed boy to look up at him. As soon as he saw Izaya's face, a cute little smile crawled up his cheeks as he held up his hands and yelled,"DA!"
Izaya smiled back, shifting the baby closer and declaring,"I think that it's bath time, what about you Haru?"
Of course Haru didn't know what a bath was, he just kept babbling as Izaya carried him up the stairs. Once they were in the bathroom, he stopped. How hot was the baby bath supposed to be?
He pulled out his phone, looking around on several websites while bouncing him. "Okay, 2 inches of water.. Warm enough that the baby won't get cold but not burning," He said, before tilting his head, and read aloud,"'Put your elbow in the water to check the temperature?' Why not just use your hand?"
He read a few other sites to check, and that he could also use his wrist to check the water. He hummed firmly, before placing his phone on the counter, away from the bath, and lifting Haru to eye level. "See Haru? This is why you don't believe everything on the internet," He explained. Haru giggled, smiling at the sound of the raven's voice.
Izaya brought the baby bouncer in, much to Haru's dismay, and started warming up the water and filling the bath. Once it was about two inches deep, he felt the water, thankful that it felt like it was the right temperature. Then.. It was the moment of truth.
He took off the baby's onesie and diaper. Haru's bruises, thankfully, were almost gone, and his rash was cleared. He had also filled out some as well, not as much as Izaya would like, but he still looked much better than when Izaya first found him.
He lifted the baby up, tensing nervously as he slowly lowered the baby into the small amount of water, holding him upright with one hand for safety. If Izaya was honest with himself, he was expecting some kind of meltdown. But, once again, Haru surprised him. After the baby sat in the water for a few moments, he started to giggle and babble, completely fine to be in the water.
Izaya sighed in relief, and then began to clean the baby. He scooped the warm water up, washing the baby's body calmly. Haru was very calm for most of it, most of the time he was just calmly babbling and playing with his hands. Thankfully, there was no panic when Izaya washed his hair either.
Right when the bath was just about over, the baby started to get curious about the water. He looked down, his little hands touching the water experimentally. Suddenly, the baby grew even more excited. He squealed happily, lifting his hands and slapping the water, sending water flying into the air. Izaya cried out, and jumped slightly, but found himself bursting out laughing. "Haru!" He exclaimed between breaths.
Haru started giggling too. Then, he kicked his legs, making small splashes, a toothless smile climbing up his face again as he laughed even harder.
Izaya chuckled, using his own hand to splash around the water. Haru laughed excitedly with each splash, reaching out and grabbing Izaya's hand. "Uwah!" He exclaimed happily, turning to look up at Izaya. He then smiled again, reaching up for Izaya.
Izaya smiled, placing his hands under the baby's arms, and lifting him up. "Upsie daisy!" Izaya cheered, lifting the baby up and smiling happily. Haru stared directly at him for a long moment, before giggling once more.
Izaya felt happiness and.. Love fill his heart. He grabbed his softest towel, wrapping the baby in it, and drying him off gently. Once the baby was dry, he got a new diaper, and was dressed in a nice duck onesie.
Everything wound down much easily after that, Izaya rocked the child gently as he fell asleep. Little Haru leaned against Izaya's chest as he closed his eyes, and his breathing relaxed. His hand clutched tightly to Izaya's grey hoodie sleeve, everything was at peace.
Izaya smiled gently, watching the sight as he felt that strange, familiar feeling return. He walked up the stairs, and deposited the baby in his crib. The hand that had been holding Izaya's shirt dropped next to him, and Izaya released a huge breath of relief when he realized the child stayed asleep.
He moved to his own bed, and curled up in the covers. For a few minutes, he remained awake and just continued to think. His feelings had definitely changed as time went on, but he didn't know what to call it.. What was he to Haru now?
Izaya went to close his eyes, and didn't know how long he was asleep before crying woke him up. Izaya took it all in stride, picking up Haru, gently calming him, and reminding the child that he was there, and he wasn't going to go anywhere. Sure, he'd probably be waking up a few more times, and Izaya may lose even more sleep because of it.
But as long as it was for Haru, Izaya didn't mind.
Just as Izaya suspected, Haru woke him up several more times over the course of the night. Izaya was so used to it at this point, of course that didn't make it any less exhausting. He was so tired throughout the course of the night, he didn't even notice the change outside until much farther into the morning.
It was when he was downstairs, watching the last of the formula warm up in a bowl of hot water as he held a babbling Haru in his arms, while desperately attempting to keep himself awake.
He sighed, blinking quickly a few times. I'm out of formula.. He thought. How am I supposed to keep feeding him? I have nothing else, and Aoi gave me the last of what she had. What will I do? The snow still isn't gone..
Just by instinct, Izaya looked over towards his large window and saw the same old streets, cars, and people wandering around on the sidewalks.. He sighed, turning back towards the formula as he- Wait.. Cars.. People?!
Turning back towards the window, he suddenly realized that though people were all still bundled up, the snow was gone! "OH thank god!" Izaya said aloud,"I was starting to go stir crazy in here."
He turned around, supporting Haru with one hand as he pulled out his phone. "Now everything will finally go back to normal," He said, though his words were empty.
He tapped around on the screen until he reached his number pad. He typed in the number for child protective services. However, right when he was going to place his thumb on the call button, something stopped him.
He stared at his phone for a long moment, before his gaze turned to look around his large apartment. Though a week ago, he would have been ecstatic to finally have Haru gone.. Now he didn't feel the same.
The days Izaya had with Haru, even though it was only a handful, were some of the most stressful, teeth grinding, exhausting days Izaya had ever experienced. But along with that came the laughter, the smiles, the rewards from the hard work.
Looking around his- no, their home, Izaya realized how everything that belonged to Haru just seemed to mingle perfectly with all of his own things. It was like it had been meant to be. He turned his head to look at the baby, who turned to look up at him, and instantly smiled.
Izaya smiled back, of course he did. Haru.. Haru wasn't someone he was taking care of, Haru was much more than that. His smiles warmed his heart, he was a constant companion, he needed Izaya just as much as Izaya needed him. The raven suddenly understood the strange feeling in his heart, it was love. With Haru, Izaya was loved, and he knew how to love. With Haru, Izaya wasn't alone. With Haru, Izaya was complete.
Because Haru wasn't just a kid.
He was Izaya's child.
Haru was his son.
Izaya pressed his phone's power button, and then placed it down on his counter. He then used both his hands, and lifted Haru up to his eye level. Haru made a slight nervous noise, before looking at Izaya. The raven smiled, and then leaned against the counter. "Don't worry Haru," He gently promised,"You aren't going to go anywhere. I'm going to take care of you, now and always. You have no reason to be afraid, dad is here."
He brought the baby closer, holding him against his chest in a very gentle hug. Affection coursed through him as he lowered his head, gently kissing the baby's forehead. Haru giggled happily, his hands seeking purchase of Izaya's shirt as he nuzzled into his father's shoulder. Izaya smiled, his hand rubbing up and down Haru's back, as he looked down at the child, just listening to the sounds of his son's breathing, his happy gurgles. It was music to his ears.
In that moment, everything was peaceful.
"Well, well, well, what do we have here?"
Izaya's head lurched up, turning to look for the voice. Somehow, Izaya hadn't heard the sound of his front door opening up. Now, standing in his living room and staring at him, were two members of the Awakusu-kai that he knew all too well..
Akabayashi and Shiki.