"Happy birthday to me…" I sighed as I woke up on the 9th of Fall.
As someone so keen on optimism, it was hard to not expect anything. I had little daydreams of impossible things, like the town putting on a surprise party for me, or even Sam's family putting on a surprise party for me, or Sam even dropping by the pier to give me a gift.
I had to sit on the edge of my bed and try to get the message through to my brain that nothing was going to happen today. As much as it hurt, I had to tell myself that I was going to fish as per usual, nobody but Willy was going to say a word to me unless Sam decided to pop by to say hello, nobody was going to do anything else for me, I would come back here and end another simple day, and hoping for more was only going to hurt me.
…Hey, if nothing else, I had a tremendously better life now. I had a fishing buddy and a whole plot of land to myself. I had freedom. And I'd gotten myself caught in a net of romance as well, which was just as thrilling as it was painful. I'd come out here and created an early birthday present for myself.
I walked out to find leaves dancing everywhere. It struck me as rather beautiful.
I wasn't expecting to get to the pier that day to find Willy holding a present, a cylinder wrapped in green. If it was possible for this man to look twice as smiley as usual, he was doing that. I almost didn't think this was happening.
"Happy birthday, Rachael!" he cheered as I approached.
"Thanks!" I replied, feeling halfway to tears.
He then handed me the present and told me to open it. I unwrapped what was probably the biggest container of bait I had ever seen.
"I won't have to buy any again for a while!" I smiled. "Thank you, Willy!"
"No problem!" he replied. "Had to do something for you on your special day!"
Well, even if nothing else did happen, my day was officially made by that statement alone.
Turns out, something else did happen.
To start, the sunset was absolutely beautiful. It was one of those that didn't necessarily make everything dark, but instead cast a golden hue on everything. I wondered what caused sunsets like this. I supposed that was nature's birthday gift to me, and I took it gladly.
I don't think I could have come up with a more visually beautiful time for Sam to come walking around the corner.
As if to blatantly contradict the self-brainwashing I'd tried to do that morning… at least some of it… there Sam freakin' was, with what appeared to be a rectangular box wrapped in birthday-themed paper. It was the kind with balloons and confetti.
"Hey!" I said, reeling my line in.
"Hiya!" Sam smiled, coming over and sitting down by me. "Happy birthday!"
"Heh, thanks," I blushed.
He as well gave me his present and told me to open it. I did so quickly, and I could feel myself tremoring nervously as I did so.
At first, it was a cardboard box, taped closed with packaging tape, and whatever was in it was really light. Without really thinking, I gave it a couple of little shakes. It made no sound. I then found where the tape ended and peeled it, then opened the box.
Sam had given me a dragon plushie. Its body was a deep purple, and it had yellow scales down its back, yellow eyes, and a pair of eyeglasses. Genius dragon.
"Aww!" I said, admittedly in a bit of a squeal, before hugging it tightly. "Thank you so much, Sam!" I was legitimately happy now. The dragon alone was enough to make me all warm and fuzzy on the inside.
"Of course," said Sam. "…Hey… would it be weird for me to say it… uh…"
I caught on to the fact that he was having trouble formulating a sentence, so I looked at him. I couldn't be sure because of how the sunset was making everything look, but I could have sworn Sam was blushing.
"Hm?" I said.
He sighed.
"Would it be weird if I said this dragon instantly reminded me of you?" he said, almost as if he was just trying to get the sentence out of his mouth.
A surge went through my gut, and my heartbeat was sped up now.
"A week or two ago, we had to go to the store to find stuff for a distant cousin's birthday," he said. "I saw this, and I just could not… I couldn't help but think about you… when I saw it. I bought it and figured I'd give it to you for your birthday, whenever that was."
I laughed, then said "That's really sweet."
"I'm glad you think that," Sam replied with a smile.
Something in my chest caught on fire when I looked him in the eyes this night. Can you tell if a stare is sincere, for lack of a better word? Because if so, Sam's look was the sincerest anyone had ever given me. It almost made me feel… secure.
Not to mention, his eyes in general were just freakin' beautiful. Then again, if you like like someone, do their eyes just automatically become beautiful to you? I suddenly wondered this.
"This means a lot," I said. "Really, Sam, thank you so much for doing this. You really didn't have to."
"You kidding?" he replied. "Yeah, I did. You deserve it."
Without thinking, I laughed this really bashful laugh and looked away, down at the water.
"We still haven't had that billiards match," he thought aloud. "And I really think I'm getting better!"
"Like I said, just let me know!" I said.
"Mm hm," he said.
Then, there was a pause. I put my dragon in my bag, set the box and wrapping paper off to the side, and dropped my line into the water right in front of me.
"Have you had a good day?" asked Sam.
"This is the best birthday I've had in a few years," I said. "And… if I'm not going to sound too forward with this… you're partially responsible for that. So again, thank you."
It was his turn to give what sounded like a bashful laugh.
"Like I said, of course," he said. "What all did you get to do today?"
"Willy gave me a present, which was really nice of him," I said, patting the container of bait beside me. "Then, I fished all day. Then, you came along. And now, we're here, and the sun's going down."
"I see," said Sam. "Are you kinda low-key when it comes to your birthday?"
"I've kinda had to be," I shrugged, feeling a tug on my pole and beginning to reel it in. "I turned 20 under a table."
Sam laughed, as if that last statement caught him off guard, and said "Okay, I need to hear the story behind that one."
"Long story short, the last year I was at college, my housing situation was shit," I explained. "I slept under a table for about a couple of months. Put a 0/10 situation and 0 friends together, and you've got the perfect formula for turning 20 under a table."
"That sucks," Sam said sincerely. "I'm sorry to hear that."
"It's quite alright," I replied. "All that matters now is that I'm here, in a brighter future."
"I'm glad to hear that," said Sam.
Another pause. I dropped my line right in front of me again.
A few seconds went by, and I heard Sam sigh this horridly long and deep sigh. One I knew, at the very least, I would only give if something was really fucking me up.
One I remembered him sighing before.
I really looked at him this time. And he genuinely looked upset. His eyes wouldn't move from the water.
I was scared to prod, but if nothing else, I couldn't stand to see him like this.
"Hey…" I said. "Is everything okay?"
I so badly wanted to put my hand on his shoulder, but I didn't want to risk making him feel worse.
He only moved his eyes a bit to look at me.
"My…" he said. He sighed before continuing. "My dad's been in the army. Vincent keeps asking things, like when he'll come home. I keep telling him that Dad'll be back real soon. One time recently, Vincent even said he heard about our troops suffering real bad, and I just told him not to believe them."
He put his face in both of his hands.
"I don't know what to do," he said. "I feel horrible for getting his hopes up, but I…" He looked up and out at the ocean. "I don't want him to lose his hope, you know?"
"I get'cha," I said. "That's… that's gotta be rough. I'm sorry you guys are going through that."
It's not like tears were forming in my eyes, but they did feel a little wetter, and ached as if they could have started leaking for real. There was a weight present in my heart.
"…What should I do?" asked Sam. "To me, you seem like someone who's incredibly sweet, but no-nonsense at the same time. What would you do?"
I sighed before giving my answer.
"As hard as it may be, I'm for telling the truth," I said. "Yeah, the truth hurts. If the truth is that you don't know, that uncertainty can hurt even more. But if you ask me, a lie would do more damage. A lie could get someone's hopes up, but does that mean anything if they're happy for no real reason… if that makes any sense? In addition, Vincent may be young… but he's human, too, with a human mind, just like yours and mine. Things heal and hurt him just like they do you and me. I think you would best show you care for him by telling him the truth. I mean, would you want to be lied to?"
"No, I wouldn't," said Sam. "I get what you're saying, but I also don't want to take Vincent's hope away from him. Yeah, he's human, but he's a child. He's in a phase of his life where he can be happy and blissful, where these real problems can't touch him, you know?"
"Yeah," I nodded. "…You know him better than I do, so it's your call. I can't force you to go one way or the other. This is merely the way I see it."
"Mm hm," Sam nodded.
Another pause, this one longer than the ones before it. I reeled in some seaweed, cast my line, and reeled in some more seaweed before he spoke again.
"I think you're right, though," he said. "Yeah, he's young, but… he's gotta learn about the world one way or another."
"Yeah," I agreed.
To myself, I feared the damage Sam may already have done. If he'd been telling Vincent that their father was going to come back soon, then switched to saying the honest "I don't know," Vincent's mind could potentially hop right to "You're saying that because Dad's dead." I couldn't imagine the damage that could potentially do to him, even throughout his life.
"They say our troops are falling by the thousands," said Sam. "Nobody… really knows if my old man's coming back."
All I could think to do was look at him. I didn't know what to say, or whether to say anything. I didn't know what to do, or whether to do anything.
"…I appreciate your being honest with me," he said.
"Of course," I replied. "Hey… I'm always here, okay? If you ever need anyone to talk to… if you ever just need company… hell, if you just need me to vacate the pier so you can have it to yourself for a while… just let me know."
"Thanks," said Sam, looking at me. "It means a lot…. Look at me. It's your birthday, and I'm over here bringing the mood down."
"Don't even go there," I insisted. "I would much prefer for you to be honest about your feelings at any given moment."
"I appreciate that," Sam smiled.
At this point, the moon was well into the sky. I was already feeling decently devoid of energy.
"I hate to have to go, but I'm afraid I'm gonna pass out on you if I stay here much longer," I said, putting away my fishing pole and bait and picking up the box and wrapping paper.
"Right," said Sam, surely but… almost a bit sadly. "I should probably get home before my mother starts worrying about me."
"Yeah," I nodded, standing up.
He stood up with me, and we walked away from the beach.
Right as we reached the point where we'd normally have to part ways… he asked "Can I walk with you?"
Another surge of something went through my body as I said "You can if you want."
"But do you want me to?" asked Sam. "That's what I'm asking."
"If that's all you want to know…" I said. "Yeah. I mean, I'd like it if you did, but you don't-"
"Then I will," said Sam.
And so, we both walked back toward the farm.
When my house was in sight, Sam's question came out of nowhere. He took a quick sigh before asking it, but that's all the warning I got.
"How about Saturday at 4 or so?" he asked.
"Huh?" I asked, not immediately processing what he'd said.
"That pool match we've been talking about," Sam elaborated. "You free Saturday? We could play some pool at the saloon then."
"I'm free every day," I replied, getting noticeably excited. "And yeah, that sounds great!"
"Saturday at 4, it is!" Sam smiled. He turned and started to walk away. "I'll… probably see you before then, but… I'll see you when I see you!"
"Yeah, see ya!" I waved.
We parted ways, and I went inside. I threw away the box and wrapping paper, then immediately proceeded to set my bag on the floor, take the dragon out, and cuddle with it in my bed. Even in my childhood-teddy-bear days, I hadn't cuddled a plushie so hard in my life.
After a minute or so, I looked down at it.
"What would be a good name for you?" I asked it. "…Not Sam, that's cheesy as hell, and a tad creepy. Something similar? Well… Sam said you remind him of me. My name… backwards? Leahcar… Lester? Lester. Lester the Dragon."
I fell asleep, with Lester wound tightly in my arms and a wonderful birthday in the books.
I also hoped Sam would be okay. He deserved to be okay, if not wonderful.