AAAAHHHHHHHHH!
Sorry, I should probably introduce myself. I'm Ash, your friendly neighbourhood pastel tumblr blogger. However, I also do regular live shows, especially if something interesting is happening. But more on that later. Right now, I'm kinda busy, seeing as we (Dan, Erin, and I) were currently IN THE ACTUAL TARDIS ITSELF and it was ON THE MOVE to whO KNOWS WHERE I'M SORRY I'M FREaking out. Okay. Back to the future story. So the entire console room was shaking and trembling like a chihuahua dog, or rather a washing machine (and we were the clothes).
"Woah!" Dan exclaimed, her head narrowly missing a tree-shaped beam.
"Where are we going?" Erin whined from a nearby corner, clinging onto a post for dear life.
"I don't know, I can't read this screen!"
"Well, why are we in this mess?"
"Because we wandered in here and I pulled a random lever!?" Dan yelled over the noise of the TARDIS.
"Well you shouldn't pull random levers!" Scolded the Mom Friend™.
"Fine! What do you suggest we do?"
Erin let out an exasperated sigh, "I don't know?! Talk nicely to the TARDIS, maybe she'll take us to the Doctor!"
Dan paused for a second, sceptical. "Alrighty," she said hesitantly, "excuse me miss TARDIS… We kinda need to get to wherever the Doctor is?"
Nearly before Dan finished speaking, the TARDIS hummed, almost as if to straighten herself out, and the control room finally settled down.
"Wow, it worked," Dan said surprised. "Good thinking."
"I know," Erin said modestly (not), and gave a small smile.
"So shall we…" Dan paused dramatically, "venture outside and- what are you doing Ash?"
Oh shoot. I've been caught. Remember how I said I do frequent live shows? Well…. can you guess what I was up to while Dan and Erin were arguing?
"Ash?" Erin asked dubiously.
"AS YOU CAN PROBABLY TELL, THE TARDIS IS STARTING UP FOR REAL NOW, WE'RE GOIN', PROJECT SAVE THE DOCTOR IS A GO! I REPEAT: WE'RE ON OUR WAY!" I yelled at my laptop's crappy microphone.
"Ash? Are you okay?!" Erin said in an alarmed tone, not seeing my laptop. Always the Mom Friend™.
"Ummm, Ash..?" Dan poked me, still confused at my lack of response.
I pulled out an earbud, finally noticing the pair of worried faces hearing their friend talking to himself. "Sorry what? Oh, yeah I'm fine, I'm doing a live show."
"Ohhhh," Dan finally understood. They're used to me live streaming at odd times.
"Ash! This might be dangerous! Why are you livestreaming?!" Erin yelped.
"Teehee?" I giggled innocently.
"We're here!" Dan said as the TARDIS landed, making the familiar whooshing sound that we heard earlier in our kitchen.
"Ok, well I gotta go now, we've landed! I'll keep you guys posted if I can, wish us luck!" I said to my viewers, signing off with my signature peace sign.
"So who's going to open the door?" Dan asked the general collective. Erin made an 'I dunno' sound, and shrugged.
"Hmm…." I thought for a second. "Everyone together?"
"Okay, let's go," Erin said, sounding excited but nervous.
"Ok," said Dan.
"On the count of three: 1…" I started.
"...2…" Dan continued.
"...3…" finished Erin, as we all opened the door hesitantly.
My jaw dropped. A deep "woah" was all I could get out. I'm telling you, I was shocked. I was expecting futuristic aliens, or Cassandra, or heck, even Daleks. But this? Nope. Did not see it coming.
"Are we…?" Dan, it seemed, could also not get her words out.
"I don't…" Or Erin. Ok, yeah, we were all at a loss.
Dan shook her head a bit, clearing her mind, and tried again. "Is this a Middle Ages fencing tournament?"
"No way." I was in denial. Like there must have been some weird alien crap behind it right? Or the Doctor wouldn't have been here. All of a sudden, I felt an abrupt tug on the back of my shirt, and found myself being practically dragged by Erin.
"Back in the TARDIS. Now!" She exclaimed.
"Good plan." Wow. Dan agreed with Erin on something. That must be a first. Should I write the date down or something? March 29th, 2017. Oh hang on, we're in the Middle Ages now. Uhh, March 29th, 1200 AD? No…. Ugh I have no way of knowing the year right now do I?
"Ack!" I yelped. Manly as always.
"If we want to explore, we need to get changed - we're not exactly dressed for the Middle Ages," Erin mansplained. Er, womansplained? Either way, she does it a lot.
"True," hey, she did have a point. "To the TARDIS change room!"
"To the closet!" Erin exclaimed at the same time as me. Aw hell nah. I thought. Not back in there, I spent half my life in that dang thing, I'm not gonna give up my progress.