Diaozuan's condition was terrible. Sesshomaru was unsure what kind of poison it was, only that it was very powerful and he was lucky to still even be alive. The fox was bloated, his body full of poison and pus. Blood stained his normally perfectly white teeth, and there was a greenish glaze to the whites of his eyes.
He was in and out of consciousness, his hand reaching up and resting gently on Sesshomaru's cheek. " You have to bury them. Properly. Please." He whispered desperately.
Diaozuan's skin was alarmingly hot and it set Sesshomaru's heart racing. " I promise, my love." The Foo-Dog assured him. Very gently, he scooped up the bundles and tucked them away in his robes, to be taken care of once Diaozuan was settled.
Other fox yokai gathered around Sesshomaru and Diaozuan, amazed that the Foo-Dog had gotten Sadao's heir free. Sesshomaru's hackles started to raise, his fur poofing and his eyes starting to leak mercury in anger.
He gathered Diaozuan into his arms and took a step backwards. His tail twitching and his mouth opening slightly, baring his left canine as a warning to stay away.
One of the nurses quickly shooed the tiny crowd away. She was a timid thing, her coat more brown than red. Yet she was a skilled nurse and needed access to Diaozuan to treat him properly.
"My Lord? Please, allow me to assess his condition."
Sesshomaru felt a snarl rising in his throat and swallowed it. Nervous. Fighting down his yokai, who demanded that they run off into the woods where Sesshomaru could heal him without interruptions.
But he did recognize that he needed guidance with this poison. He needed the help of a skilled healer, much to his chagrin.
"I'm here to help. Please don't eat the help." She whispered, looking into his eyes. Her voice very calm and very low. Soothing.
He managed to get a hold of himself. Together, they walked him into the underground areas where the other nurses were attending the wounded. They managed to find an empty area, comfortably far enough away from the other patients, and got to work.
Sesshomaru laid his mate out gently on the mat, and watched her carefully as she assessed him. She was sweating slightly from being under the intense, hostile gaze of the Lord of the West. Uncomfortably aware that an incorrect diagnosis, a single slip-up, would probably mean the end of her life.
"It's snake poison." She murmured after a moment. " Very fast-acting." She brought out a knife, cauterized it with a small controlled flame atop her left pointer finger.
"First things first. He needs lots of water, and we have to drain his infected areas."
Sesshomaru gave her a level warning stare. She went to grab a bowl and clean, small towels. First, she made a tiny incision under the stab wound in his neck. Sesshomaru was horrified to watch a rather copious amount of cottage-cheese textured pus pour into the bowl she'd placed just underneath him. The fox whimpered in pain and Sesshomaru had to grit his teeth, his claws digging into himself as his hands clenched into fists. She continued gently squeezing until the flow turned into a trickle of strange, clear fluid and flecks of blood.
"Just- show me what to do. So I can take care of him." Sesshomaru murmured evenly. Hearing his pain and smelling his disease was making his stomach churn. And yet not taking care of it himself seemed to be the factor that was truly making his yokai howl in agony. Her smell on his mate's skin.
She nodded, nervously talking the Lord of the West through everything- the draining, the bandaging, how to get Diaozuan to drink and hopefully , eat. Then, she left him with all of her supplies, assuring him that she or the other nurses would never be far. And no indeed- even as he looked around he could see three or four. Which would come in handy when he needed to make the knife clean again.
Sesshomaru then put his hair up in a low, messy bun. Rolled and tied his sleeves and set to work.
It was something that servants usually did. But Sesshomaru was used to gore, and .. he didn't want anyone else in charge of Diaozuan's fate. If he was going to die, better that he died under Sesshomaru's care than blaming his death on some poor fox nurse.
The first three days were the worst.
Diaozuan got very weak, weaker than Sesshomaru had first seen him. He was no longer in-and-out of consciousness. He was asleep. Barely breathing. His skin so hot it almost hurt to touch. And his breath so shallow Sesshomaru would wake up in a cold sweat, convinced that Diaozuan had stopped breathing.
Everyone knew better than to approach them. When Sesshomaru needed help, he usually came to the nurses himself. But when he was alone he preferred not to be approached. His instincts were going crazy, causing him to lash out even when he didn't mean to. Terrified that his mate might die. What would he do? How could he go on?
Thinking of the time before he'd met the fox- the sort of person he'd been back then… made him sick to his stomach far worse than the pus he'd been draining from Diaozuan daily. He didn't want to live without him. Without his laugh. Without his love. Without his warm embrace and his sweet smile and the way he knew exactly what Sesshomaru needed well before he knew himself.
And as he listened to his mate's weak breathing he kept an arm possessively over him. Pressing his head to Diaozuan's and praying to anyone who would listen to keep his mate alive. To heal him and send him home to their waiting children. For those three days, Sesshomaru tasted his own tears more than anything else. His mind numbly walking through the motions the nurse had given him. Water- to the cloth on his forehead, and fresh water down his throat. Drain. Bandage. Change bandage. Repeat.
On the fourth day, his breathing got a bit stronger. And Sesshomaru dared to feel hope when Diaozuan stirred in bed, scooting closer to Sesshomaru and reaching for him unconsciously. Sesshomaru gladly accepted the embrace, making sure it wasn't pressing onto one of Diaozuan's many draining areas.
Sadao came that day, late in the evening.
Sesshomaru could not help but lash out in hostility- hissing like an angry cat, fangs growing, eyes deep alien pools of gold and silver. Sadao just sat down, quietly, about three feet from the furious Foo-Dog until Sesshomaru was able to get a hold of himself. He looked almost embarrassed, but mostly he was just exhausted. He hadn't slept, and wouldn't until Diaozuan was better.
"I apologize."
"There is nothing to apologize for. You saved my son from a terrible fate."
Sesshomaru looked down uncertainly at his fevered mate. Running a few claws gently through wine-colored bangs. " I do not think he is saved yet."
Sadao smiled just a little. " He sounds stronger than he was before. The other nurses tell me you don't eat, barely sleep. That you tend for him more diligently than any they've ever seen."
Sesshomaru looked down, unsure of how to react or what to say. All that energy had been spent taking care of Diaozuan, hauling bowl after bowl of that disease away from his body. Not to mention, the effects of Mai-Zei's healing was wearing off. His veins were filled with dragon-blood glitter, his head ached from the heaviness of the horns.
His arms ached from burying their kits. Six feet- had to be, for the wolves and other foragers of the night. Simple graves. He'd used his new glittering claws to write their names in stone so that they would not be forgotten so easily. Two little cairns.
"I saw their graves. Thank you for giving them due diligence. I buried two mates yesterday." Sadao murmured, and Sesshomaru looked up to him in shocked surprise. A heavy, warm , calloused hand gently set atop his own.
"You are not alone in your suffering. I just wanted you to know that." The fox murmured. Sesshomaru looked into his eyes for a moment before finding them too close to Diaozuan's and dropping his gaze.
"If he dies, I will be utterly lost." Sesshomaru murmured, looking down at Diaozuan. His mate was curled up against Sesshomaru's side, the crown of his head against the Foo-Dog's thigh.
Sadao looked Diaozuan over thoughtfully. He still looked terrible- his brow wet with sweat, stringy hair. His body still misshapen from the presence of that terrible poison. Yet. He pressed a kiss to his son's hair gently and Sesshomaru couldn't help a weakness in his chest. It was clear Sadao loved him as much as Sesshomaru did. He would be equally destroyed if Diaozuan was lost.
"I am cautiously optimistic with you at his side. Oh , one more thing."
Sadao dug around at his side, then set several flasks of blood at Sesshomaru's side. "I can hardly get you to sleep, but at least I can give you these." The Daiyokai took them gratefully, setting them neatly in a little stack at his side. He was awfully hungry.
"Thank you." Sesshomaru said, very quietly. His voice was small, like that of a child. And he certainly felt like one, waiting for the hammer to drop. Live, or die? He needed to know before he went crazy. Yet he was terrified of the answer.
He wasn't entirely sure when Sadao left, but he knew he was alone once more. The lack of sleep was getting to him. Sesshomaru took a long swig of the blood inside one of the flasks, and his head seemed to clear just a little.
He went to change Diaozuan's bandages.
Sesshomaru didn't know how many days had passed when Diaozuan's eyes opened. Only that it was dark, the lights low. Torches on the wall and the occasional flash of magical fire were the only sources of light left. And that at first, he didn't really realize it; only saw a strange reflection of light where it shouldn't be on his face.
Diaozuan was looking around, quietly. The greenish tint starting to fade from his eyes. His hands starting to wander, relaxing when they felt Sesshomaru's form. Resting on his arm, his thigh. Sesshomaru reached down in wonder, his hand gently cupping Diaozuan's tanned cheek. Terrified that this was yet another dream.
"Love?" That voice wasn't a dream. Rubbing itself inside Sesshomaru like soft velvet, like sweet music and leaving him raw and vulnerable as a child.
Sesshomaru started to cry almost immediately. Drops of his tears falling down onto his mate's face and neck.
"Diao, I- This whole time I was terrified I had never told you exactly how I felt-" He took a shakey breath. The words coming slow at first, then faster and faster as if a dam had been broken. And in some ways it had. The imminent threat of losing Diaozuan had made Sesshomaru realize how terrified he was that his mate would never know how loved he was. How needed he was.
"You touched my heart, my soul. You've changed my life- all my goals, and – " His teeth were gritted and his hands were shaking slightly. Years, decades-centuries of pushing these terrible feelings of weakness down so deep they now choked him. Would he ever be able to express what this man meant to him? How could he ever possibly repay him for everything he'd done? It seemed it'd take the rest of Sesshomaru's impossibly long life to even begin to repay the fox.
Every touch. Every kind word.
"Everything I am, is yours. And always will be." Sesshomaru whispered, pressing his forehead to Diao's sweaty, fevered skin. It was faintly glittery in the dim light of the torches. The Foo-Dog swallowed back sobs and felt Diaozuan's clawed hand go up around his neck, entwining in his waterfall of silver locks. They were messier than usual and a slight wave carried through him now.
" My beautiful work of art." Diaozuan whispered, his voice heavy with love and fondness.
" I already knew all of that. You don't need to change for me. I can read how you feel about me through your actions. And if I'd passed, I would have knowing how much you love me. Despite your… occasional declarations to the contrary." He gave a weak laugh, and Sesshomaru managed a small weak smile in return.
The fox began to press little kisses to Sesshomaru's cheeks, jawline, neck. Feeling the way he was trembling, and seeing the way the whites of his eyes were so red, and… the stooped, cowering set of his shoulders.
"I'm here, my love. And I'm so sorry I scared you." He whispered, a faint purr in his chest as they nuzzled each other. Slowly feeling his mate relax, bit by bit. And wondering with some worry how long he'd been awake.
"I was not scared." Sesshomaru huffed, hiding his face behind a pretty wave of that mercury hair. Yet, his actions told a different story. He laid down carefully next to the fox. Wriggling and moving just right so that he was tucked against Diao's chest and somehow, smaller.
And when Diao set his arm gently over Sesshomaru's shoulders, he did not toss it aside.
He seemed to shrink. The great Lord of the West scared only of losing those he loved.
It took Diaozuan a long time to calm his beautiful mate.
By the time Diaozuan was ready to travel, another two weeks had already passed. Of course Diaozuan had told Sesshomaru everything – the assassin, the betrayal, the murder of the kits and consequent burning of everyone in the basement. But there was one more thing left to do before they returned to the Foo-Dog palace.
They stood quietly looking down at the graves of their children. Traditionally, a yokai of their rank would have an elaborate celebration, days and nights of drinking on honor of them. But the Fox Palace was in such a state that the idea seemed a waste of resources.
After a war, it seemed only right that all graves were the same size.
The two rocks were engraved with their names, scratched by the diamond- claws the adorned Sesshomaru's left hand. Flowers had started to bloom in the fresh soil, weeds, dandelions, fragrant chrysanthemums. Their petals were long, thin, and delicate and still glittered faintly with the morning dew.
Diaozuan crouched down and traced one of the petals faintly with one of his claws.
" In fox yokai culture, these represent honor, and…long life. " Diaozuan said, very softly. "A little bit of a cruel place for them to take root, don't you think?"
"Yes." Sesshomaru agreed just as softly, his eyes red, unable to meet his lover's gaze. His fists clenched, and his teeth gritted. His hands curled so tight that his claws began to dig into the inside of his palm. A drop of blood or two hissing when it hit the ground.
He knew he had already made Ryuu suffer, had seen him reduced to ash in front of his very eyes…. But there was a terrible rage still in his heart whenever he saw a dragon yokai.
It was part of the reason he'd delayed returning to the Foo-Dog Palace. Inuyasha would have a rough time running things on her own, but her gaze was kinder and not tainted by death. And he sent letters near every day helping her decide important matters. But Inuyasha'd probably be in a furious rage when he returned, and he would deserve it for leaving her so alone.
He wondered if he would carry this hatred for dragons to his own grave.
Then he saw Diaozuan's hand waver slightly, and quickly crouched beside his mate. Sesshomaru was choked in a wave of his lovers pain that matched- no, eclipsed his own. It trickled down from the flaming mark on his chest that bound him to the fox. Diaozuan was the one who'd carried them- felt them grow, pushed them into the world and knew them better than Sesshomaru himself.
The fox's hand clasped Sesshomaru's tightly, giving it a squeeze. And he saw tears on those dark caramel cheeks, streaking down. His eyes clouded and his eyelashes heavy with wetness.
" I should have done it. I'm sorry. No parent should have to bury their child." Diaozuan whispered and met the gaze of his mate painfully.
"It was my choice. I needed to be sure it was done properly." Sesshomaru murmured, but his eyes were glazed and far away.
"That doesn't mean it's – Sesshomaru." The sobs were hitching Diao's breath now. He pulled his mate close, and this seemed to snap Sesshomaru out of his haze. His own arms wrapping around the fox lovingly. Tucking his chin onto Diaozuan's shoulder and closing his eyes.
" I would have exchanged my life for theirs if I could have, I swear, if Mai-Zei herself had offered the trade I'd have done it without hesitation-"
"Stop." Sesshomaru ordered. So firmly that it made Diaozuan pause. Sesshomaru set a hand on Diao's cheek and look deep into those eyes. Infinite purple shards of infinitely beautiful shades. The same eyes that had been passed down to their son, who was waiting for them both at the Foo-Dog Palace.
The son Sesshomaru had given birth to, so fearful of being a parent, so fearful of Diao and responsibility and everything he represented. It seemed so far away now.
"Fate has spared you, and I am grateful. Do not dare to say you'd give your life for them, for if I had to make such a terrible choice, I would choose you. A thousand times over." Sesshomaru whispered, his eyes narrowing with seriousness. He loved his children- but he loved Diao more. And he wouldn't dare tempt fate by declaring anything to the contrary.
" Don't say things like that." Diaozuan whispered, feeling both hurt and awed at the same time. He'd just assumed Sesshomaru would place their children above himself- that was the way things were supposed to be, wasn't it? Weren't children always supposed to come first?
Sesshomaru just huffed and went quiet when he heard Diaozuan whisper, " I want them back, Sesshomaru. I – I-"
"So do I, Diaozuan." Sesshomaru did what he could to comfort his mate, but the pain was getting to him, too. They mourned together- Sesshomaru silently, and Diaozuan loudly, sobbing into his mate's shoulder and shredding Sesshomaru's kimono with kneading, desperate claws.
And when they'd both gone quiet and were empty of tears and emotion, they headed home.
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Inuyasha was unsurprisingly furious. After all, she'd been left alone to run the Palace in Sesshomaru's absence- that alone was a good enough reason for a murderous rage.
But what Sesshomaru had been unaware of was another two factors- Inukezi's death, and Inuyasha's decision to keep the pregnancy. First of all, explaining death to the pups was no easy task- though they knew of it, until that day it had been a far-away threat. Untouchable, intangible and non-threatening. But now that it had come so close, explaining that it couldn't be undone was still difficult to explain to children.
Rin took it the hardest. And after hearing what had happened, Inuyasha had understood why. She could possibly have prevented it… yet the same could be said of the other pups. Especially Toshi. The kit was taking it hard too… wondering if there had been something he could've said or done to prevent Inukezi from going up to the wall.
But Inukezi had a streak of stubbornness like his mother, Kagome.
And knowing it was one of her traits that had possibly led to this made Inuyasha's heart ache to the point of breaking.
The pregnancy thing was a decision that had been tough to make without the father of the damn things around. Nevertheless, Inuyasha knew the exquisite pain of not being able to choose your own father.
And she wasn't about to get rid of the damn thing for such a petty reason. Even though, deep down, she didn't know if she'd be able to make it all the way through without becoming a neurotic, insane mess.
Before Mai-Zei had left, another strange thing had happened.
As she'd been passing by her to leave, she'd gently touched Inuyasha's soft silver-haired temple with a black claw.
Instantly, she'd been transported to strange place. It looked almost like one of Sesshomaru's many tea rooms, only the scent was different. Thick, wooden pillars helped up the intricately carved ceiling. Birds, phoenix's and dragons dancing in the polished wooden heavens. The furniture was dark, many shades of red, maroon, purple.
On the low table were two small floating balls. They looked sort of like jellyfish- no, the bubbles that came from the soaps Kagome used on her clothing sometimes.
Inside each of the bubbles was a different colored orb. One was bright red- red like blood. That one smelled faintly of Sesshomaru.
The other was a deep purple, and smelled faintly familiar, yet Inuyasha could not place the scent.
Both orbs emitted a very faint warmth.
Mai-Zei sat comfortably on the couch opposite, motioning for Inuyasha to sit down.
She did, reluctantly. "You gonna tell me what the fuck is going on?" She snarled, silver ears pinning back. The dragon merely shrugged, "This is where I meet mortals when I need a little privacy. Now- you have a choice to make. Either one or the other. And do hurry up- this is a limited time offer- and the limit is my interest."
"I ain't doing shit until you tell me what's happening." Inuyasha hissed, and she smirked.
"Goodness, you are feisty. Well, I'll tell you this. When you choose one, the other will cease to exist. Ticktock, Inuyasha." She murmured, tapping her fingernails impatiently on the wood of the table.
Inuyasha's gaze went from one, to the other. She was of course drawn first to the red one, but… there was something about the other one that drew her in too. It felt familiar somehow. Comforting. And a faint trickle of alarm shot through her frame when she realized the orbs were starting to fade… starting to grow cold.
"What if I choose both?" Inuyasha asked quickly. The dragon's eyebrows shot up in surprise.
"To do so would risk your own life. You're still a hanyou, Inuyasha. Human blood still runs in your veins."
Inuyasha's claws hovered over the red one. Then, in a moment of adrenalin, she snatched up both. Giving the dragon a triumphant look when she felt the warmth coming back to them.
"I ain't afraid of death. Not anymore." Inuyasha muttered, petting the little things curiously. Each was about the size of an orange and when she took them both, she knew it had been the right decision to make.
" You Foo-Dogs are so interesting." Mai-Zei murmured. The room- the orbs, all of it faded. Inuyasha was standing back in the hallway of the Foo-Dog Palace, and Mai-Zei was lowering her hand. A sharp, stabbing pain shot through Inuyasha's abdomen, nearly causing her to fall to her knees.
Inuyasha scrabbled against the wall for balance, her other hand going to her sword. " If you did anything to hurt Sesshomaru's pup I'll kill you right fucking here, and I don't care if you are a god."
Mai-Zei gave Inuyasha a level look. She was impressed and exasperated with Inuyasha's temperament. To think that a hanyou could touch the dragon of chaos was a reckless level of confidence she'd never encountered before.
She didn't quite know how to react. So, she told a little of the truth.
" When Ryuu threw you against that wall, he damaged the pup. Had I not interfered; you would have miscarried later this evening. The sharp pain is an effect of the choice you made; the choice I gave you."
"You-" She was about to retort with something scathing when she realized the implications of what had just been said. Mai-Zei must have saved the pup. Or at the very least, prevented disaster. Inuyasha supposed maybe, she should be grateful. But that was hard to do, especially today when so many terrible things had happened.
To do so would risk your own life.
What the hell did that mean?
"Then… thank you. I guess…?" Inuyasha muttered, her ears pinned back with a mix of confusion and stifled anger. She wondered vaguely why the little red ball that must have been Sesshomaru's pup had been so red. Didn't really seem like Sesshomaru's color scheme.
Mai-Zei gave the hanyou a nod and left, leaving Inuyasha more confused than ever. Perhaps she should have asked more questions. But honestly after Inukezi's death, and everything else that had happened she was just- tired.
Fast forward to Sesshomaru's return, and she'd decided not to mention it. It didn't seem all that important. She'd also prefer a little more time to figure it out herself before presenting Sesshomaru with any information.
In the meantime though, she was going to make perfectly clear exactly how she felt about being left alone to deal with all of these things.
After a happy reunion with the pups, and an awkward moment of explanation for where Inukezi was, Inuyasha snarled, " I need to talk to you. Alone." Looking over at Sesshomaru. The Daiyokai sighed and set Katsu down, who'd been clinging to him as if he hadn't seen him in years. All the pups were being rather clingy actually. But he supposed that was understandable. Toshi meanwhile gravitated to Diaozuan's side, hiding under his father's long sleeves and armor.
It was going to take a long time for them to get back to their usual cheerful selves, but Sesshomaru supposed that was normal. After all… they'd lost three members of the family. And he assumed Inuyasha'd gotten rid of the pup, so there was to be no new members for a while.
Dioazuan tensed when he sensed Inuyasha's intentions- startling both Sesshomaru and Inuyasha by letting loose a rather angry, low snarl at the hanyou. Sesshomaru stepped forward, soothing Diao with a gentle touch to his cheek. He too, knew exactly what the hanyou meant by talk. But he needed to deal with his mate alone.
She's going to hurt you.
She is my mate, and I have neglected her. I will take whatever punishment she sees fit. Sesshomaru whispered back, ignoring the way Diao's tails whipped against the floor anxiously.
He's spent his time with one mate… and now he needed to make it up to the other. He set Katsu gently in Diaozuan's lap and followed Inuyasha outside.
Their home was connected to a second, near-identical building. The idea was at some point, the pups would move into the secondary building while Sesshomaru, Diaozuan and Inuyasha remained, giving them a little time to grow into adults.
Of course, it wasn't quite finished yet. The rooms were unused, old, and dusty. Sections of the floor needed to be repaired, and most of the upstairs rooms were still unsafe. But it was a good place to go when they needed a little room from the pups… even if just for a few hours.
Inuyasha huffed as the guards followed them silently, waiting outside as she and Sesshomaru entered the room and shut the door.
She was fast- and he was sleep-deprived.
Her claws dug into his cheek, and he felt the warm sting as some of his pretty blue blood painted the wall just beside his face. His eyes narrowed and his body tensed, a wet fang glistening as he waited for a second blow. He'd not let her get away with more than one.
But it didn't come. She was frozen, shocked that she'd actually landed the blow and feeling… Well, she knew what she wanted to feel.
She wanted to feel relieved. She wanted to feel like he'd gotten what he deserved.
" Does that make you feel better?" He said, quietly- tiredly.
"No." Inuyasha whispered, her tone surprised and a little sad. Sesshomaru licked a few fingers, running them along the claw marks on his cheek to help the skin heal before meeting her gaze again. Then, he reached out to her.
She snarled and spat like a feral dog, pressing her body away from him and up the side of the wall. Her eyes glinting that terrible warning-yellow and spit glittering between two rows of very sharp, very white teeth.
" Don't. Don't you fucking dare."
Sesshomaru's hand paused in midair. " This is me swallowing my pride Inuyasha ;I apologize, with everything I am. I should never have left you alone."
She spat, "You think a fucking apology is going to fix it? You know how hard it was to bury Inukezi by myself? Keep all those damn cousins and second cousins from crawling all over your throne? Deal with all the damn Palace stuff and deal with the yokai sneering down their noses at me? Treating me like shit because you weren't there?"
There was a silence between them, and he could see her trembling, and feel the heat of her emotions ripping through his mark. It almost made him nauseous. He felt as if he were drowning in them.
"Inuyasha. Diaozuan was dying. I could hardly leave him alone to be treated by some stranger. I'm sure you'd have felt the same, given the choice between Kagome and myself." Sesshomaru murmured, quietly.
Inuyasha flinched. No, he would have never left Kagome alone. Even on that day, he'd been practically shoving that snake healer out of the way, using everything his mother had ever taught him about plants to try and save her.
But it hadn't been enough.
He could see tracks of tears down her cheeks and it was breaking whatever heart he had left.
Sesshomaru was so emotionally drained, he could scarcely think straight. He'd given Diaozuan and the pups all the energy he'd had for the day… and was now realizing he had nothing left for Inuyasha. He could only hope that Inuyasha would be somewhat merciful.
"What can I do to make you feel better? What should I say?" He whispered, and she shrugged helplessly. Both of them quiet for a moment and lost in their own thoughts.
" Am I not- am I not worth it? How come I'm always second?" She whispered, so quietly Sesshomaru's ears had to twitch to hear it.
And oh, he recognized this kind of pain. Having experienced it himself for years. Wondering why he was never good enough, wondering why he'd always be in the shadow of someone else. Oh, yes. Sesshomaru had only just begun to shed off that pain and knowing Inuyasha felt it was unbearable.
"Inuyasha-"
"Am I just not good enough for you? I…" Her hands clenched, her throat closing. She didn't want to say these things, but between everything that had happened it was all coming out to fast. A vomit of feelings and words she never meant to say right to his face.
"I deserve love too, god damn you." She whispered. Eyes a blazing, feral yellow. So angry. So sad.
He reached out again and she snarled, low at first, increasing in intensity the closer his hand got. Eventually he just let it hang in the air and whispered, "You cannot show me your pain and then not even let me comfort you, Inuyasha. That is cruel."
"No more cruel than what you did to me, asshole." She spat. "Doesn't feel too good, does it?"
Sesshomaru didn't know how long they were both quiet.
"Relationships are a give and take asshole. And you haven't given me a damn thing these last two weeks."
Sesshomaru snarled at that, stepping forward. There was a brief scuffle before he managed to pin her underneath him, his face decorated with many fresh, bleeding claw marks.
Somehow between the swearing and biting and clawing at his face, Sesshomaru managed to press a kiss to the very hostile hanyou. It was forceful and angry at first, but ended gently, sweetly.
The only way he knew to apologize.
Inuyasha softened, very slowly. Her tense muscles relaxing, her expression going from pinched and feral to gentle. Sesshomaru watched her for a moment before going to pull away- flinching when her hand went to his arm.
"Wait."
He looked down at her. There were new tears there now, fresh and beautiful on her face.
"Don't go. Not again." She almost pleaded, her hand tightening slightly on his arm. He leaned back down, feeling more guilty than ever. This was his fault, all of her suffering. And he needed to make it up to her. Sure, he didn't like getting scratched… but he would've done the same, if not worse, had he been treated the same way.
God how he hated admitting he was wrong. But he would, for her.
" I shouldn't have done this to you. Inuyasha I am so sorry." He whispered, pressing their foreheads together and then placing another nervous kiss to her lips. Relieved when he wasn't cuffed with her very sharp claws.
He thought she'd start pushing him away, only want to cuddle. He was quite surprised when her kisses became more intense, heavier. When her hands stared slipping under his clothes.
After the act, they cuddled. Her head tucked under his chin and all folded up, as if she was trying to disappear. They were warm underneath a combination of their clothes and a few spare blankets they'd managed to find.
He stroked her ears absent-mindedly and took in her smell. Quietly surprised to smell his pup still there inside her. A little stronger than before.
" I love you, Inuyasha. I hope someday, you know the depth of it." He whispered into her ear before going back to his grooming. Enjoying the texture of the soft fur and enjoying spending time with her after being apart for so long.
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Smiles-glad you like it lol. Yes, there is plenty of drama left between everything going on between Inuyasha and Sesshomaru.
EatEmUp-Nah sorry, both Sesshomaru's swords are toast lol. Part of the growing process, I think. But I do have something in mind for him later.