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Draco is a little shit!
"I hate is the worst day of my life. I feel like a is going to be my life, forever! Draco Malfoy; aristocratic, pure blood wizard completely unable to do magic… FOREVER!"
"Oh shut up, you dramatic little snot!" Hermione rolled her eyes as Draco flopped heavily onto the train seat. He was staring balefully out of the darkened window, countryside zooming past in a shadowed blur.
"It's just for the first day, to see if it breaks the loop. If it does, we can research better using the Hogwarts library. Possibly conduct a few tests of our own. I don't know about you, but I'd rather start experimenting after waking up at Hogwarts and not having to do a massive train journey everyday."
"I acknowledge that you make sense. I do, however, reserve the right to sulk when I have been reduced to nothing more than a squib!" He flung an arm over his eye and let out a long sigh.
She couldn't help but smile. Seeing him like this, it was easy to see where Scorpius got his personality from. If Draco hadn't been so pressured as a child - and by that she meant an arsehole in training - they probably would have been friends. He was watching her from under his arm and she flashed him a smug grin and promptly pushed him from the seat.
"Minister! I will be filing a complaint to your department! This rough manhandling of my person is unacceptable!" He puffed his chest out and inhaled deeply, "My Fa-"
"My Father shall hear about this!" She exclaimed dramatically, interrupting Draco's well-known catch phrase.
"Oh, shut it." He said good naturedly, snorting through his nose.
Once again they found themselves in the great hall, with hundreds of unsuspecting eyes watching them excitedly. Being the third time around it was slightly less daunting for the returning witch and wizard. The only problem now would be the sorting itself.
And the darn hat.
They had gone over what Draco needed to do with the sorting hat; arguments that he could put forward to get sorted back into Slytherin. Although he probably would immensely enjoy being a part of Gryffindor, they had agreed that he could do the most good from within the snake pit - his words, not hers.
Once her name had been called, and she had, once again, made her way to sit at Gryffindor table, Hermione nervously turned her gaze to the gaggle of waiting first years. Draco was staring resolutely at the tattered hat in question, as if by glaring hard enough he could force it to do what he wanted. Holding back a grimace, her eyes followed him as he approached the stool and plonked down heavily onto his perch. The hat was lowered upon his head, and Hermione felt her breath stop as she watched. Crossing her fingers, she waited in hope.
Hope that was slowly fading as Draco's face turned redder and redder, contorting into a sort of scowl sneer thing. It was obviously not going well.
The hat sprang to life, brim widening as it roared its decision.
"HUFFLE-"
"YOU SODDING PIECE OF SHIT!"
Not going well at all.
Draco had ripped the hat from his head mid-announcement and, brandishing his wand, proceeded to set fire to it.
"RATTY PIECE OF JUNK! I HOPE YOUR ASHES ARE IRREPARABLE!"
McGonagall was there in an instant dousing the flames, face filled with shock and anger.
"Mister Malfoy, never have I seen such…" she began, voice rising dangerously.
"OH SOD OFF MINERVA!" Draco stormed from the raised platform and, instead of heading towards the Hufflepuff table, stopped in front of Hermione.
Still in shock, the rest of the school had not moved an inch, watching in horror, as Professor McGonagall turned red, her lips almost disappearing in anger.
Inhaling deeply, Draco spoke to Hermione softly, his words travelling through the frozen room.
"It's not my fault. Granger…I tried, I really did but…but It was dragging up all of my mistakes and I-I…" his voice trailed off as he took in Hermione's scowl. She was rising slowly from her seat; face glowering, sparks hissing from her now drawn wand.
"Now…now, come on Minister." He stumbled backwards as she advanced on him. "Be fair, It was being unreasonable."
"Unreasonable?" The tone of her voice should have been a clue really; it was one she had learnt from Molly Weasley. From her peripheral, she saw every Weasley present wince and shrink back slightly from her. Instead of picking up on this cue, Draco squared his shoulders and took on his self-assured face, the moron.
"Yeah! Unreasonable! The stupid thing barely listened! To the points that YOU gave me, by the way."
That was it, she supposed, that was the moment she snapped. To be fair, she did attack first, his only warning the formal duelling salute she quickly presented.
The rest of the hall became a blur, the sudden rise of noise like an annoying buzzing as she proceeded to thrash Malfoy with a barrage of wandless spells. Sparks and lights flashed in every direction as he threw up shield after shield, all the while backing away and yelling that it was her fault too.
A sudden drop in pressure hit them and they were instantly hanging by their feet, arms dangling frantically as they still tried to reach each other. Wands were ripped from their grip as they slowly rotated in the air, to face a very serious looking McGonagall. She flicked her wand once, and they went flying backwards from the main hall, letting out shocked yells as they sped through corridors and up staircases.
"WHERE ARE WE GOING?" Came Draco's strangled yelp.
Taking a moment to track the direction they had been heading, and feeling a bit sick from the upside down ride, Hermione yelled her response in one word, "DUMBLEDORE!"
"SHIT!"
Within minutes, which is a very long time to be upside down and speeding backwards, they came to a sharp halt outside a very familiar gargoyle. It looked at them for a moment before stepping aside, allowing them to ascend the spiral staircase, still dangling by their feet.
Door slamming behind them they were promptly dumped into chairs facing the headmaster's desk. A quick wriggle and it was clear that Minerva had stuck them to the chairs. Blinking rapidly and trying to clear her brain from head rush, Hermione turned and looked at Draco. His face was flushed and he blinked dizzily.
Hermione sighed as she gave Draco a sidewards glance. "That was fun."
"Yep…" He looked up at her blearily, "My father will hear about this."
Her face scrunched up and she snorted a laugh. Before she knew it they were both giggling.
"I can't believe…" she snorted again, "you set fire, like actually set fire, to the sorting hat!"
"Oh thank Merlin no one will remember this tomorrow." Draco covered his face with his hands, body still shaking with giggles.
"I will."
"Urgh…. NOOOOOOOO!" he wailed, "You cannot show anyone!"
"Muahahahahahaha!" Hermione's shoulders curled into herself as she snickered at his predicament.
"No! No evil laughs! Stop it Minister!" A flush was beginning to warm his pale skin. "Oh, just let me die now!"
"I believe that can be arranged, Mr Malfoy. My office has received your request, and I will have my top secret assassins take care of it immediately!"
Rolling his eyes Draco attempted to appear nonchalant, which was hard to do with his arse stuck to a chair. "Why Minister, I have never known the ministry to run with such efficiency! You must tell me your secret."
"Yes, well…" clearing her throat slightly and looking at him sheepishly, "I may or may not have… blacklisted anything with your name on it."
He looked stunned for a moment, before bursting into laughter once again. "I bloody knew it! I knew it!" He looked positively delighted at the news. "'Hermione Granger-Weasley, war heroine and Minister for magic would never do such a thing!'" He had adopted a high-pitched voice and was acting scandalised. "'Draco you are being paranoid!' And my personal favourite, 'The Minister is above such grudges and would not act so childishly!"
"Stop looking so smug."
"I'm just so honoured, that you would pay so much attention to me, Minister. That you would take time from your day, to make a note of what I am doing and even sabotage it. I'm touched, I really am."
"I did not sabotage. I just complicated things; added in extra forms, lost others… created new legislation that would somehow only apply to you."
"I am thoroughly impressed." He looked slightly bemused, "Is this why, whenever I was in the Ministry, you would somehow be there when nothing was going my way?"
She chuckled "Yeah, the entrance guards always gave me a heads up when you entered the building. It was quite fun, watching you get all flustered and angry like that. 'Don't you know who I am? I am a Malfoy!"
"I do not sound like that." Draco wrinkled his nose at the poor imitation, but his expression only seemed to further fuel Hermione's amusement.
She carried on regardless. "'I have lots of money and I will throw a tantrum if you do not approve this Creature license immediately', 'I need another wing built on my current mansion because I cannot fit my personality into this one, what do you mean I have to wait? I am a Malfoy!'"
Draco rolled his eyes towards the ceiling and let out a huff of badly disguised laughter. His eyes crinkled at the edges as he gave her a sly sideways stare. "Maybe you should be the one going into Slytherin next time."
"Oh what fun that would be… I can see it now, rooming with Parkinson, best friends forever!" She splayed her hands out as though projecting a screen in front of her. "We could braid hair, gossip and swap curses."
"Don't be daft Minister…Nobody would be able to braid that mess."
Her head whipped round to glare at him."Git!"
He seemed inordinately pleased with himself, smirking at her happily.
"You are such a child."
"Technically, I am a child, currently anyway." He shook his head in disbelief and raised his eyes to the ceiling, "Merlin we are in so much trouble, Headmasters office before the end of the welcome feast. Must be some sort of record."
"Well done, you've beaten Harry on that one."
"My life is complete."
Returning his sarcasm with a wry smile, Hermione pondered what to do next. Her gaze travelled across Dumbledore's strange collection of spinning and puffing instruments, finally resting on the shelves of books lining the walls. Her whole body stilled as her eyes began blitzing across the spines, searching for anything time related as they sat and waited.
It was quite clear that Hermione had completely zoned out.
Her body had frozen and her eyes were practically vibrating with the speed they were trailing across the books. He could have transfigured the table into a hippogriff and ridden it around dressed as Longbottom's Grandmother and she wouldn't have noticed.
The headmaster would probably have to wait until after the feast to come here, which gave them a bit of time. Closing his eyes and concentrating, he tested the strength of the sticking charm and was surprised to find that it wasn't particularly strong. Obviously enough to hold a first year, but after his and Granger's display of duelling, he had expected McGonagall to use something stronger.
"Finite"
Humming happily to himself, Draco moved from the chair and perched on Dumbledore's desk in front of Hermione, grinning and waving his hands in a 'ta da' manner. He was right, she didn't even bloody notice. Here he was, using wandless magic, being awesome, and she was focused on the books behind him. Sighing and running his hands through his hair, Draco wandered over to the other side of the office. There were - 'surprise, surprise' - even more books over here. He began running his fingers over the spines, waiting for something to call out to him, and something did.
A loud screech blasted in his ear and Draco yelled and fell back in surprise, landing awkwardly against one of the spindly-legged tables.
"HOLY SHIT!"
A large red plumed bird was perched on a banister near the shelving and was watching him intently. That bloody phoenix, how did he forget about the overgrown chicken? Stupid thing must have snuck up on him. The bird let out a low caw and leaned forward intimidatingly. They couldn't read minds, could they? Clearing his throat nervously, Draco slowly removed himself from the table and stood straighter.
"Evening…" Shit, what was the bird's name? Fawkley? Roarks? Faw…kes? Worth a try, "Fawkes?"
He got a low hum in response and took it as a good sign. Feeling slightly more confident, Draco approached the bird and tentatively reached out a hand. Fawkes eyed his fingers for a second, before giving them a light nibble, much the same as his old eagle owl used too. He had never been so close to a phoenix before, eyeing the golden beak warily he reached his hand higher and stroked Fawkes's head. The red feathers seemed to glow slightly in the evening light, golden tail feathers gleaming as Fawkes shifted his weight and leaned into the stroke.
"Nice to meet you too, I'm Draco."
Fawkes's dark eyes seemed to stare at him questioningly, and he found himself telling the phoenix everything that had happened over the past week. All the while absently stroking the softly glowing feathers as Fawkes hummed.
"I'll admit, it is mostly my fault, and that is hard to say, I can tell you! I shouldn't have kept that time turner, definitely shouldn't have touched it in Granger's office. And setting fire to the sorting hat will probably make it hate me the next go round." He let out a heavy sigh, "shouldn't have told McGonagall to sod off either, that was rather rude of me." Fawkes's eyes narrowed in what he could only assume was agreement. His eyes flicked over to where Hermione was still sitting in her chair, only now she had a stack of books on the desk in front of her and was devouring them rapidly.
Funny, he didn't notice her move.
Leaning in to Fawkes conspiratorially, his eyes flicking back to meet the Phoenix's as he whispered lowly. "Don't tell Granger, but if she wasn't here I'd probably panic and go a bit mental. She is the most brilliant witch I've ever encountered, so I'm not worried."
Fawkes screeched and cocked his head slightly.
"Okay, maybe a little bit worried."
The phoenix made a strange sound, and Draco could swear it was laughter.
"Glad someone's having a laugh." His eyes flickered back over to Granger and, to his surprise, found her looking straight at him in shock.
No, not at him, something behind him. His neck snapped back round and he found himself frozen in place by a pair of bright blue eyes.
"Well that was certainly an interesting tale, Mr Malfoy."
His half moon glasses tipped forward as Dumbledore gazed at him intently. Screaming internally, Draco realised that Dumbledore was probably there the whole time he was talking to Fawkes. The man was one of the most powerful wizards in history and he would certainly be able to make himself invisible. Guilt began rising within him as he remembered the role he played in Dumbledore's death. He squashed it and checked his occlumency shields were in place. He suspected that Dumbledore had some sort of Legilimency skill - natural, most likely - and he wasn't letting him get anything from him.
Anything more that is…Shit, Granger was going to kill him.