Chapter 3: Racing Demons
Mika felt like she was on a boat. Except instead of standing on the bow with the wind in her face, she was halfway overboard while the waves tossed it side to side. It was very dark, as most of her vision was blocked by her hair and a dark shirt in front of her. She soon realized that she wasn't on a boat, she was being carried, slowly and carefully, up the stairs of what she assumed was her apartment building. She tried to wriggle out of the grasp of her carrier, but he was strong. Unusually strong. The rocking stopped, and she was put down quite gracefully for someone carrying a grown woman on their own.
Neighbor stood in front of her, his face stoic. She didn't quite know what to say to him. Thank you didn't seem like enough, but anything else seemed even worse. Her thoughts moved slowly, thanks to the drink and the mild concussion she sustained earlier.
"Are you okay?" he asked. Again, his voice was surprisingly soft. Mika didn't know how to respond, so she just passed out again instead.
When she awoke for the second time, she was firmly situated on her couch. Her bag and shoes were placed neatly on the coffee table next to her. She reached over and fished her phone out of her bag, groaning with the movement. Her head was killing her. She scrolled through with one eye closed, finding Elena's name and opening their messages. Slight situation. Come stay with me tonight? When convenient. She hit send, not caring if her message didn't exactly make sense. The sound of a spoon clinking against a glass startled her, her phone dropping to the floor with a loud noise. Her neighbor was in her kitchen, a cup of something in front of him. He looked quite sheepish as she shot to a sitting position, her head spinning with the sudden movement.
"I'm sorry." he said immediately. He brought the cup over to her, placing it on the coffee table. It smelled like peppermint. He looked like he wanted to say something else, but held himself back from it.
"No need to apologize, not after you helped me." she said, leaning over and picking up the mug. Her phone buzzed - it was Elena, saying she'd be right over. "I should be thanking you. You saved me."
He shrugged, keeping his face blank. "Don't mention it. I'm glad you're alright." He said, moving towards the door to leave.
"No, wait!" she said. He stopped abruptly in the doorway, turning to face her. Under his steady gaze, she suddenly felt very small and weak. It was not a feeling she was used to, nor one she enjoyed. But she had to swallow her pride in order to prevent any impending panic. "Stay, for a minute? If you don't mind? My friend is on her way, but I really don't want to be alone right now." she rambled. The drinks were still muddying her mind. He stared at her, the same way he'd stared at the cake all those weeks ago.
"Sure." he said, finally. He sat down at her kitchen table, looking very stiff and slightly uncomfortable. It was as if he hadn't expected her to awaken before he could make a getaway.
"What's your name?" she asked, blowing on the tea to cool it. Again, he hesitated.
"Bucky." he replied, though he looked like he didn't feel comfortable saying it. She wondered if he normally went by something else.
"I'm Mika." she said. She wanted to question how one came by the name Bucky, but thought it best not to pester him. She took a sip of her tea, and was surprised by the flavors in it. "Is there nutmeg in this?"
"To help with the hangover." he said. She waved off the comment.
"I don't get hangovers." she bragged, even though it was a total lie. He raised an eyebrow and gave her a pointed look, the first break in his neutral facade.
"If you say so." he replied. She took another drink of the tea, the peppermint helping to calm the rolling in her stomach.
"It's very good. Thank you." she said. He nodded, apparently trying to recover what ground he lost in his strong-and-silent front. Mika had trouble with silence when it came to situations like this - mildly awkward ones. "Hopefully it'll help me sober up a little bit. Or help with the bump on the head. For a second down there I think I started seeing things - like, your arm looked like it was made of metal. How insane is that? This is why I don't go out as often as my friends. Weird things happen."
"You weren't seeing things." Bucky answered. Out of everything she'd rambled, that was the part he'd picked up on.
"What?" Mika said, his response taking her by surprise. Once again, he looked like he regretted saying anything. He pulled off his glove - had he been wearing that the whole time? - and rolled up his sleeve, showing the smooth metal plating of his arm. Once again, his face remained neutral, but Mika thought his eyes looked a little nervous. He needn't have been nervous, of course. Mika reckoned it was one of the coolest things she'd ever seen. But, once again, she found that the reaction she wanted to make couldn't quite form in her brain. Instead of formulating organized sentences describing her past interest in prosthetics, or the programming involved, or anything even remotely intelligent, all she could get out was an astounded, "Holy shit!"
Bucky actually let a small grin show. He didn't look like he was used to showing off his arm to people, and was pleasantly surprised by her reaction. He looked like he was about to say something, but was interrupted by Elena bursting through Mika's front door.
"Mika! What is the situation? Is everything okay?" she asked, frazzled and obviously pretty drunk. Behind her, Bucky quickly pulled down his shirt sleeve and slipped his glove back on.
"Everything's fine, I'm fine." Mika said, standing up and putting her tea on the coffee table. Elena launched herself at her, wrapping her in a tight hug.
"You never text things like that, I thought you were bleeding out in the middle of the floor or something." she wailed. She then noticed Bucky, who was trying to sneak out the front door while the girls were distracted. "Wait, is this the situation?!"
"No, no. I'll tell you all about it in a minute." Mika said, pulling Elena back. She could tell Bucky was ready to leave. "Thank you again." she said quietly.
"Hope you feel better." he answered, closing the front door behind him before Elena could say anything else.
"Okay what is going on? Why was your very cute neighbor here? Why did you text me? Did he seduce you?! I need answers." Elena said. Mika shushed her, guiding her to the couch.
"All will be answered in due time." Mika said, sitting down and grabbing her cup of tea. The peppermint and nutmeg mixture was in fact helping to clear her head.
"No, all will be answered now." Elena said. Mika paused, realizing that she was actually going to have to revisit what had happened to her. For a moment, she felt ashamed - after all, how many women had dealt with this before her? And they didn't have a neighbor with a crazy high tech prosthetic arm to save them. They had to pick the pieces up themselves. What happened to her was nothing. It was a bullet dodged.
"There was this guy, when I was trying to close my tab…" she started. She gave a brief retelling of her encounter, trying to downplay the drama of it. She found herself feeling silly. It really wasn't a big deal, especially since Bucky had stopped anything serious from happening.
"Mika! That's terrible!" Elena exclaimed, grabbing her shoulders and pulling her into a hug. The last of her tea spilled on the blanket between them, but they didn't notice.
"It really wasn't that bad." Mika said, pulling back and shaking her head. "It could have been so much worse. I'm sorry I freaked out and called you over, you were having such a fun night-"
"Absolutely not." Elena said, taking Mika's face in her hands. "You have every right to freak out about this. I would have been insulted if you hadn't called me. Come on, let's get you situated."
"Thanks, El." Mika said quietly.
"Go take a shower and clean up. Get into your comfy pants that I hate. I'll make you a snack." Elena said. Mika nodded, unfolding herself from the couch and going into her bedroom. She turned all the lights on, and for once didn't turn music on while she showered. It felt good to wash the night away, the hot water making her skin sting and turn red. When she got out, she saw how her mascara had run with the steam, making her look strung out and sleepless. She carefully scrubbed it away with a make up wipe before completely washing her face. Her hair was a tangled mess that she didn't want to deal with, so she twisted it into a bun on the top of her head. That would be a problem to deal with tomorrow.
Elena was just finishing in the kitchen when Mika finished dressing. She handed a bowl of polenta and cheese to her, commanding her to eat while she showered herself. Mika was happy to oblige, the comforting food putting some warmth back into her bones. She heard the shower cut off just as she was pouring the tea into her mismatched mugs. She took an experimental sip to see if it had steeped enough, and found that it seemed to be missing something. She paused for a moment before going to her baking cabinet, pulling out the bottle of ground nutmeg. She tapped it a few times over her mug, guessing how much needed to be added. After another experimental sip, she found it to still be lacking. She shrugged in defeat, figuring it was better than nothing.
Mika took the two mugs to her room, setting the extra on the nightstand. She flipped the television on, pulling up Netflix and starting the Great British Bake Off. She knew it wasn't a show that Elena particularly enjoyed, but it was soothing, and that's what she needed right now. Elena made a face when she came out of the bathroom and saw it, but for once didn't say anything. The girls crawled under the covers, settling into the pillows with their tea and the comforting sounds of the show. Mika wasn't exactly sure when she fell asleep, but she was lucky enough to stay asleep the rest of the night.
She woke up earlier than expected, just as the sun was beginning to peek through her windows. Elena was sleeping soundly beside her, and didn't move when she crawled out from underneath the covers. Her head and neck hurt from hitting the concrete, but her stomach churned from the night before. She couldn't tell if she wanted to throw up or to go back to sleep, but knew neither one of them would really help her feel better. She slipped out of her pajamas, pulling on some leggings and a tshirt. She tied her hair up in whatever manner would make it stay there, and donned her headphones and shoes. Elena didn't stir.
She made sure to grab her key and fob this time, securing it in the tiny pocket in her leggings before heading out. The air was cool in the early grey dawn, and the streets nearly empty. Her legs felt shaky as she made it down the last of the stairs, but she didn't care. She started her music and pushed herself into a slow jog. As her heart rate rose, her legs began feeling a little stronger. But memories from the night before ran alongside her. Anxiety threatened to choke her as she recalled how weak she felt, and how she'd been unable to fight back. So she turned her music up and ran faster. She could still feel the hand on her wrists, holding her. She could feel the arm around her waist, pulling her back. So she ran faster. She ran faster and faster and faster until she was sprinting down the street. Her legs were numb, her chest burning as she struggled to breathe in the cool morning air. She stumbled to a stop next to a tree, the bark scratching her hand as she leaned against it. Her body wanted to vomit, but her stomach was empty. She stood against the tree for a long time, letting the air cool her feverish head and settle her stomach.
Once things seemed to be in better working order, Mika turned and started jogging again. Her legs were tired from the all out sprint earlier, but she pushed them until she finally made it back home. The sun was fully out now, but the residents of their little neighborhood were barely starting to stir. She climbed up the stairs to her floor, watching her feet to make sure she didn't trip. Her music blasted in her ears, drowning out any thoughts. The hallway was empty thanks to the early hour, and she was overly conscious of how loud she was probably breathing.
She eased her key into the lock, trying to turn it silently. Just as she was turning the knob, a hand gently touched her shoulder. She whirled around, startled at the contact. Bucky was standing there, once again giving her the blank face of mild concern. She leaned against the wall, pulling her headphones out and trying to catch her breath.
"You scared me." she said, dramatically laying a hand against her chest.
"I'm sorry." he said, looking genuinely apologetic. She shook her head.
"No, you're fine, you're good. I was just stuck in my own little world." she said, gesturing to her headphones. She wanted to keep rambling, as was her baseline state when talking to people she barely knew, but she purposefully pressed her lips together to stop herself.
"How are you feeling?" he asked. She thought of her morning sprint away from her memories. Now that she had stopped moving, her legs were hurting.
"Um, been better. But the tea really helped, thank you." she said softly. She started messing with her headphones, giving her hands something to do. "I really can't thank you enough. If you hadn't come along, I...I don't know what would have happened."
"You're welcome." he said. Again, he seemed like he meant it.
"I really want to repay you, in some way. Maybe I can make you dinner sometime? Or-" She thought about the burn mark above her stove. And the one beside it. "Or maybe take you out somewhere? I know all the best food places around here."
"It's okay." he said, looking away from her.
"No, no, I insist. How about…" she paused, opening her door and looking into her apartment. Elena was still in the exact same position as when she left. "How about breakfast? Have you eaten yet?"
"I haven't." Bucky replied, albeit slightly reluctantly. He opened his mouth to protest once again, but Mika cut him off.
"Excellent. I know this great little cafe around the corner. You're gonna love it." she said. He opened his mouth again, but she stopped him. "I'm gonna change real quick. Don't move, okay? Stay right here. Don't leave."
"Okay." he said, his tone betraying his suspicion.
"You look like you're gonna walk away as soon as I move out of eye sight. Don't do it." she said. He held up his hands in surrender. She nodded, slowly walking backwards through her door. She kept her eye on him as long as she could before ducking into her apartment. She quickly stepped back into the doorway, and was pleased to see that Bucky was still standing there. She gave him a pointed look before actually going into her apartment. She dug through her drawers, finding the top and leggings her mom had bought her from the fancy little boutique across town. She'd accepted that she was going to be a little sweaty and gross, but she could at least step it up from the ratty tshirt and tights she was currently sporting. She smoothed her hair into a bit of a tighter bun, and grabbed her purse before heading back to the front door. She was just pulling it closed when Bucky stuck his foot in front of it, staying it while it was still partially open.
"What?" Mika asked, confused. For a moment, she was afraid that he had decided on another way she could repay him.
"Keys." he said softly. She hesitated, then realized that she had, in fact, forgotten her keys.
"Right. Thank you." she said, going back in and grabbing her keys off the counter. She felt bad for where her mind had taken her a moment ago. He let her close the door the second time around, gesturing for her to go down the stairs first. Every step she took, she regretted the run from this morning. But she held it together, not wanting to look like a weakling in front of Bucky. There were a couple more people awake now, but most of them were still perched on balconies, enjoying coffee or tea in the morning light. There was no line at the cafe, for which Mika was grateful. She was ready for something sweet and something with caffeine.
The owner greeted them cheerfully, happy to have customers so early in the day. She excitedly pointed out the fresh pan of cinnamon buns that a boy too young to be working was pulling out of the oven. Mika gasped appreciatively, especially when the boy began slathering the buns with icing.
"I'll take one of those, please. And a cappuccino." she said. She turned to Bucky, who was staring at the case of various pastries and foods in front of him as if he weren't used to having options for what to eat. After a few minutes of calculation, he pointed to a pastry filled with cheese and herbs.
"The khachapuri, please." he said. "And a coffee."
"You're not going to get a cinnamon bun? Look how beautiful they are!" Mika said incredulously. Bucky shrugged.
"Not big on sweets." he said. Mika's jaw dropped.
"'Not big on sweets?!'" she exclaimed, as if she couldn't fathom that - which, really, she couldn't. He shrugged again, though her outburst made one corner of his mouth quirk up in a grin. Mika looked to the owner of the cafe, who held up her hands as if to not get involved.
"At least he chose the best khachapuri in Bucharest." she said, giving him a wide smile. He gave her a nod of thanks, then gave Mika a look that said he clearly felt like he won. She narrowed her eyes, making a face back at him.
"It's still weird that you don't like sweets." she said. She handed a bill to the owner, telling her to keep the change and grabbing the plate and cup in front of her. Bucky picked up his plate and cup as well, following Mika back to the tables outside. She had a realization as they sat down. "Wait, if you don't like sweets, what did you do with the cake I left you?"
"So that was you?" Bucky asked, though his tone showed he already knew that.
"Who else would leave cake except for a new neighbor?" she asked in return. Her cheeks were warm from embarrassment, and her heart was stuck in her throat.
"Would you eat cake that a stranger left at your front door?" he asked, taking a sip of his coffee. She couldn't tell if his question was serious, or if he was simply messing with her.
"Honestly, probably." she said, as if that should be the normal response. She decided to assume he was kidding. "But back to the bigger problem at hand. Not any sweets? Ever?"
"I think I used to. They just aren't appealing anymore." Bucky said. He didn't look at her, instead taking a cursory glance of their surroundings.
"We'll find one." she said, choosing not to comment on the first part of his statement. He looked at her very seriously then, as if surprised that she would even think of hanging out with him again. She dropped her eyes to her breakfast, choosing instead to focus on the pastry in front of her rather than his heavy gaze. They were silent for a few moments, which slowly killed her on the inside.
"How long have you lived in Bucharest?" he asked. Mika realized he looked a little uncomfortable - he must enjoy social interaction about as much as she did. He was trying, though.
"Almost four years now." she said, dusting the last sugar bits off her fingers. She took a sip of her drink, which warmed her. "I moved here for work. Of course, then the company I work for went global and allows me to work from home whenever I want. How about you?"
He paused for a long time before answering. "I'd never been here before. Needed a change of scenery." he finally said. She raised her eyebrows.
"Bold move." she said. "Where are you from? England? Canada?"
He looked almost startled, though schooled his face back to the calm facade she was growing used to. She could tell that he was not used to being the center of attention. "What makes you think I'm not from here?"
"The Force is strong with me." she said with a wry grin. He gave her a blank look. "Star Wars? No?"
"Never seen it." Bucky said with a shrug.
"Reference wasted then. We'll fix that someday. Anyway, it's cause your accent is very proper. I see that a lot in native English speakers that know multiple languages." she said with a shrug. Again, he was silent for a weirdly long time before answering.
"America. New York." he said quietly. Once again, he wasn't looking her in the eye, instead looking at the area around them. She gasped appreciatively.
"Oh I love New York!" she said. This time, he didn't hide his surprise. "I went there on holiday, once, when I was at university. Everything was so bright and loud and busy, it was amazing. Do you go back often?"
"No." he said shortly. Her smile faltered, and she chastised herself. She should have known better than to ask him so many questions. He was obviously a very private person, and she was just blabbering away and prying into his life. She cleared her throat, trying to ignore the blush she could feel painting her cheeks.
"Well you'll find things a lot quieter here. The food is just as good, though. And the people much nicer." she said, trying to salvage the moment. But she couldn't think of anywhere to take the conversation. She took another sip of her drink, focusing on the way the milk moved in the coffee. She noticed his plate and cup were both empty, and he was sitting very straight, as if he might have to run away at any moment. She put her cup down and grabbed her purse. "Anyway, thank you again, for last night. And thank you for joining me for breakfast. I know you probably have things to do today so-"
"You haven't finished your coffee." he interrupted, staring pointedly at her cup. She waved him off.
"It's fine, I can always make more at home. I don't want to keep you from the rest of your morning." she said. At that time, the boy from inside the cafe came by with a French press of coffee, pouring more into Bucky's empty cup. He gave the boy a polite smile.
"But now I haven't finished mine either." he said, taking a sip as if the coffee weren't steaming hot. Mika was confused; he didn't seem comfortable with this outing, but he didn't seem like he was trying to escape either. She idly wondered if he was, in fact, just trying to make a friend.
"Well, we can't have that." she said quietly, again at a loss for how to respond. He wasn't looking at her, he was looking up and down the street. He did it in a casual manner that seemed entirely too casual to her. She felt like smacking herself in the head - between the prosthetic arm and his avoidance of the past, she figured he was probably ex-military. And had probably seen a lot of things that he didn't want to think about.
"Are you feeling better? After last night?" he asked after another bout of silence. They were becoming less awkward than at first. Mika snapped out of her thoughts, bringing herself back to the present moment. She could scold herself and her social blunders later.
"A little bit of a headache, a little sore, but nothing terrible." she said, after taking inventory of her body. Whether the soreness was from last night or her easy morning sprint was uncertain. "I told you, I don't get hangovers."
His face actually looked a little amused. "Or maybe it was the tea." he replied.
"Agree to disagree." she said. "I tried to recreate it, later. But it wasn't the same."
"You were missing the magic touch." he said, flexing the fingers of his prosthetic arm. He gave her a sideways glance from under the bill of his baseball cap. She paused for a moment.
"Was that...a joke?" she asked, shocked. He'd been playing mostly the silent tough guy from the moment they met, with a few glimpses here and there into his real personality. "Be still my heart."
"They are few and far between, but I've still got some." he said, his face back to neutral. Mika opened her mouth to say something - anything - back, but was interrupted by her phone ringing. She dug through her purse, pulling it out and silencing it.
"Did you need to get that?" Bucky asked, downing the last of his coffee. Mika clicked the button to put her phone on vibrate.
"No, it's just Elena. She's probably just wondering where I am." she said. Her phone started buzzing again.
"If your friend is concerned, you should answer." he pointed out. Mika shook her head, ignoring her phone as it went off for a third time.
"She's just dramatic." she said. Bucky nodded.
"Well, we've both finished our coffee. And it looks like your friend really wants to talk to you." he said. The phone went off again, making Mika groan in frustration.
"Yes, well, thank you, again. For last night. You are literally a life saver." she said, trying to hold her phone so that the incessant vibrating wasn't as obvious. Bucky shrugged.
"I'm happy to see you're feeling better. I'll see you around." he said, standing up. She followed in suit, looking through her purse and grabbing her keys.
"I'll see you-" she started to return the sentiment, but he was already walking down the street. Mika looked after him, trying to figure out the puzzle. Her thoughts were interrupted by her phone buzzing yet again.
"About damn time!" Elena said when she picked up.
"Excuse you, I was trying to pick you up some breakfast." Mika snapped back, going back into the cafe. She moved her phone away from her ear, ordering more cinnamon buns and coffee to go. Elena was a solid three lines into a tirade whenever she started listening again.
"-no note, your keys actually gone, and your phone! There's just a pile of clothes in here! I thought it was the rapture or you'd been kidnapped-"
"Why would I take my keys and phone in either of those cases, but not my clothes?" she asked, handing more money to the lady at the counter and taking the food and drinks. "We can discuss this later, I'll be back momentarily."
She didn't wait for Elena's response, hanging up and walking out of the cafe. The world was officially starting to move, with the sun over the tops of the buildings. It was going to be a beautiful day. She mulled over her interaction with Bucky, trying to organize it in her mind. He definitely wasn't like any of her other friends.
"Finally! I thought you'd died!" Elena exclaimed as soon as Mika walked in the door. Maybe it was a good thing that Bucky wasn't like any of her other friends.
"I didn't die, I just went to get you pastry and coffee." Mika explained, holding up the spoils of her trip. Elena looked at her with scrutinizing eyes.
"You're wearing the cute, impractical workout clothes. Who were you with?" she asked suspiciously.
"I think 'thank you' are the words you're looking for." Mika replied, setting the food on the kitchen counter and picking up one of the cups of coffee. She was going to need a lot of caffeine if she was going to make it through this day.
"Yes, yes, thank you for food. Now answer the question." Elena said, not waiting for a plate before tucking in to her breakfast.
"If you must know, I happened to run into Bucky this morning and got him breakfast as a thank you." Mika explained, grabbing the other cinnamon bun and biting into it.
"Who the hell is Bucky?" Elena said, her mouth full of pastry. Mika gave her an odd look.
"The neighbor? Who saved me last night? Pretty sure you heard his name." she explained. Elena raised her eyebrow.
"Sorry, I was more focused on my friend." Elena said. Her irritation dissipated quickly. "But tell me everything about this breakfast."
"There's nothing to tell. I ran into him in the hallway and offered to buy him breakfast as a thank you. We had a nice, cordial meal where I embarrassed myself on at least three, but no less than five, different occasions." Mika said nonchalantly.
"There is always something to tell in these situations. You know how I feel about secrets." Elena said. Mika was getting frustrated, exhaustion from the past twelve hours catching up to her.
"There's no secrets. It was just breakfast." she said, trying to finalize the topic.
"That's how it always starts, and then-" Elena started. Mika cut her off.
"Drop it, El." she said. She took her coffee and curled up on the couch, turning on the television. Elena stared for a moment before coming to sit next to her, putting her arms around Mika's shoulders and laying her head against hers.
"I'm sorry, Mi. I went too far again." she said softly. Mika let out a long breath before gently rubbing Elena's forearm.
"I forgive you. Can we just watch Netflix and pretend last night didn't happen?" Mika asked.
"Of course my love." Elena said, mussing Mika's hair. The girls settled in, content to become one with the couch, at least for the day. They spent the rest of the day not worrying about strange men from bars, or from across the hallway.