Chapter 7: Horse of a Different Color
Mika really hoped that a night run with her neighbor and a good cup of tea would cure her insomnia, but unfortunately its effects were short lived. She finally resorted to using one of the sleeping pills, taking it early one night in the hopes it would work like it should. The first night was magical - she was able to sleep from nine at night until nine in the morning, waking slightly groggy but relatively well rested. The second night she slept a little less, taking a little longer to go to sleep and waking up earlier. The third night she awoke multiple times in the night feeling paralyzed, a sense of foreboding nearly choking her. Her brain was in a fog when her alarm went off, and the glare of her computer made her head hurt. After that, she gave up and went back to trying to sleep the old-fashioned way: wearing herself out.
The first few days, she was able to run at a normal time, getting back home before the hour was too late. But with the days getting shorter and the end of the year approaching, she found herself getting home later and later, and the evenings becoming darker and darker. One night, it was well past eleven when she started, making it past midnight whenever she finally slowed to a stop in front of the building. She bent over for a moment, resting her hands on her knees to try and catch her breath. When she finally returned to her full height, Bucky was standing in front of her, looking concerned.
"You're a damn ninja, you know that?" Mika exclaimed, startled by his sudden appearance. A grin almost graced his face, but was quickly replaced by the concerned look again.
"You went by yourself." he pointed out.
"Well yes, I couldn't very well wait for you to suddenly appear." she said, shaking her legs out before they stiffened up in the cold night air. She made a move to the door, scanning it open as Bucky reached for the handle.
"I could have gone with you." he said softly as they started the ascent to the top floor.
"And I would appreciate that. But I know you're very busy, and contrary to popular belief, I can actually take care of myself pretty well." she replied. She meant it as playful banter, but Bucky obviously missed that.
"It's not safe. You could have gotten hurt." he said.
"I promise you, I actually have some self preservation skills when I'm not impaired by alcohol." she said. Her breath was shorter than she would have liked, trying to hold a conversation while climbing the stairs. While the night after the bar may have been affecting her for longer than she'd care to admit, she didn't want to appear weak in front of Bucky. Whether that was for pride or what, she didn't know.
He was silent for a minute, trying to figure out how to respond. "Still not safe." he murmured, as if that were the only argument he could come up with. Mika smiled in victory, and they walked up the rest of the flights in silence before parting to their respective doors at the top.
Mika showered and put on her pajamas before putting the kettle on the stove to boil. She tore open the new box of peppermint tea that she'd bought, pulling a bag out and putting it in her cup. It was odd, she thought, how concerned Bucky was for her safety. Granted, maybe he had a cause for concern, since he'd had to save her when she was unable to defend herself. The thought actually made a ribbon of anger burn through her. She was not some weak girl in need of a knight in shining armor. She was a warrior princess who slayed her own dragon.
Well, she liked to think of herself that way at least.
She put herself in a defensive stance in the middle of her kitchen, trying to remember all the things her older sister taught her all those years ago. The movements felt rusty at best, unfamiliar at worst. She remembered how to throw a solid right hook, but it seemed that was about all her muscles could remember. Her sister would be disappointed in her.
With a frustrated huff, she grabbed her phone off the kitchen island, opening the Google Maps application and searching for self defense classes in the area. There were a few contenders that looked promising, but she quickly closed out of the window when she saw the prices. She angrily stirred honey and nutmeg into her tea, cursing the patriarchal bozos who were capitalizing on women's need to defend themselves. She took her tea and settled into bed, still casually searching for anywhere close by that might be reasonably priced. She finally gave up after a while, plugging in her phone and putting the empty cup on her bedside table.
After a day or two of searching, Mika gave up on trying to find a class and resigned herself to hoping her minimal skills would reappear in her moment of need. With the crazy amount of projects he job was putting on her, she had other priorities.
It was a Thursday afternoon, and the clock had just passed two o'clock when Mika finally got a break. She'd been up since close to six, typing away at her computer while her headphones kept her involved on various conference calls. Her eyes were tired from staring at the screen, and the throbbing in her forehead was alerting to her fatigue and hunger. She closed her laptop, rubbing her eyes with the heels of her hands in an effort to relieve the pressure behind them. She tapped her phone a few times, calling Elena and putting her on speaker phone.
"Alo?" she answered. She already sounded distracted.
"Come eat lunch with me." Mika whined. "I need to talk about anything besides code and programs."
"I can't! I'm on the verge of the greatest scientific discovery since penicillin." Elena said.
"Are you really?" Mika asked suspiciously.
"Well, no," Elena admitted. "But if I don't run these gels and analyze the results before I leave today, Dr. Otto will have my head."
"I love when you talk dirty like that." Mika said.
"Oh just wait. I might even use the centrifuge later." Elena replied in a saucy tone.
"Be still my heart." Mika replied. "Well fine, I guess I'll just see you tomorrow then."
"Love you bye!" Elena answered, not giving Mika time to reply before hanging up. Mika sighed, then sighed again for good measure. She stretched her arms up over her head, moving so that her back popped a few times. She pushed herself to standing, going and pulling on some jeans and a flannel jacket. She was determined to take her full lunch hour no matter what her boss would probably say. She grabbed her purse and her phone, walking out her front door with determination. There was a small restaurant-slash-pub around the corner that was calling her name, even if she was probably just getting food to go and bringing it back home.
The sun was bright and warm when she finally stepped onto the sidewalk, though the air was chilly. Autumn had officially arrived a while ago, and the temperatures were quickly moving in a wintery direction. She pulled her jacket tighter around her, trying to block the gentle breeze that was cutting through it. She walked quickly, her stomach angrily letting her know how empty it was. As she turned onto the next street, she noticed a familiar looking baseball cap and jacket combination making its way toward her. Bucky has his hands in his pockets and his eyes down on the sidewalk. He too was walking at a quick clip, making his way back to the apartments, she assumed.
"Well, look who's out during the day time." she said as he approached. His eyes found hers, and he almost gave her a smile.
"It happens occasionally." he replied, pulling to a stop in front of her.
"You out running errands?" she asked. He didn't have any packages with him.
He shook his head. "Had to go in to work." he explained.
"I thought you worked nights?" she questioned. He looked startled for a moment, but the moment passed.
"Yes. But I have to pick up my check during normal business hours." he explained.
"Oh. Well yea, I guess money is a good reason for you to leave the Bat Cave." she agreed. He looked at her with an odd look, making Mika realize that once again her reference was lost on him. "Really? Batman is a pretty big deal."
"Don't know it." he said apologetically. Mika sighed with fake exasperation.
"Add it to the list I guess." she said. "What are you up to right now? Want to join me for a quick lunch?"
"Oh, I don't…" Bucky paused, not finishing his statement. His body language said he wanted to turn her down and go home, but his face said he wanted to accept the invitation.
"Half an hour or less, I promise. I have a call at three o'clock I have to be back for." she expanded, giving Bucky a hopeful look. He looked at her for nearly a full minute, and Mika could almost see the wheels turning in his head.
"Okay." he said finally.
"Excellent. The place around the corner has an great lunch special, you'll love it." she said, leading him back the direction from which he came. Another stiff breeze blew through, and she went to link her arm around his left elbow - a habitual gesture she made with most friends. Bucky pulled away smoothly, putting some space between them. Mika was slightly startled, but took it in stride.
"Sorry, it's…" once again, he didn't seem able to complete his sentence. Mika heard the plates of his prosthetic sliding into place as he gestured with it. She waved away the apology.
"Nothing to be sorry for. That was my bad." she said. In her embarrassment, she could feel the rambling bubbling in her chest, but she pushed it down. She was no longer cold; the burn of her humiliation was keeping her warm. He was still walking with her, and didn't look angry. She internally cursed herself and her habits, thinking she should have know better than to initiate any unwarranted physical contact, let alone with his prosthetic arm. Luckily they arrived at their destination, and she was able to direct their attention (and the conversation) elsewhere. She waved at the waitress inside, stopping and noticing that Bucky had already chosen a table outside for them. Once again, he sat with his back against the building wall, eyes scanning the street around them. Mika sat down across from him, pulling one leg underneath her. The waitress came to them, giving them a bright smile and introduced herself as Rebecca. She took their drink orders and handed them the short lunch menu before turning and heading back to the warmth of the indoors.
"Do you always sit outside?" Mika asked, wrapping her arms around her waist in an effort to preserve warmth.
"I like space." Bucky replied with a shrug. Mika wondered if he was referring to their earlier incident. It seemed the thought crossed his mind as well, as he added, "I spend most of the time indoors."
"Fair. That's why I don't like the winter, there only seems to be a couple hours of daylight before it gets dark again." Mika agreed. The waitress returned, setting down a cup of tea in front of Mika and an unopened glass bottle of water in front of Bucky. They smiled and thanked her, Bucky watching her closely as she walked back inside. Mika perked an eyebrow at this and grinned, but Bucky didn't notice. He picked up the menu, his brow furrowing as if this was the biggest decision of his day. When Rebecca returned, they were ready with their order. She took it down, throwing a wink in Bucky's direction before going back inside. Mika grinned again, and this time Bucky noticed.
"What?" he asked cautiously.
"Do you have a girlfriend?" Mika asked. Her previous neighbor had many visitors over the years, the girl with the blue hair being the last. But she hadn't noticed anyone coming to or from Bucky's apartment, besides him. Whatever Bucky was expecting her to ask, that wasn't it.
"No." he said shortly, as if that were the most ludicrous idea he'd ever heard.
"I'm just curious. I think our waitress is being extra friendly to you. And you seem to be a little interested as well." Mika said with a shrug. Bucky shook his head.
"She just...reminds me of someone…" he said slowly, softly. "I just can't remember who."
"Oh." Mika said, deflated. She felt the chagrin creeping up her neck again, but it was cut off by another stiff breeze rolling past them, making her shiver. She clutched the warm mug of tea close to her, trying to absorb the heat.
"You're cold." Bucky observed. He always looked so serious. She wondered if anything ever made him laugh.
"No, I'm fine. The breeze just hit me just right." she said nonchalantly. Bucky stared, and once again the gears were turning. Then he surprised her by pulling off his jacket.
"Here. Take this." he said, dropping it unceremoniously in her lap. She could see he had at least two more layers underneath.
"And what about you?" she asked, slowly putting down her cup and picking the jacket up. Bucky tilted his head in a noncommittal movement.
"This isn't bad. I've sat in much worse." he explained.
"Cryptic. Alright, well...thank you." she said, pulling her arms through the sleeves. It was still warm on the right side and her back, while the left sleeve was noticeably cooler. It was so big she could use some of the bottom as a blanket over the tops of her legs. It smelled clean and fresh, with a nonspecific laundry scent surrounding her. She didn't know what smell she was expecting, but that was not it. He didn't look at her; instead, he was taking his usual cursory glance of their surroundings. She tried to think of a conversation starter, but each one sounded worse than the last. After an unbearable amount of silence, she finally settled on, "Do you like your job?"
Bucky's eyes moved back to hers, and he shrugged. "I think so. Keeps me occupied." He paused for a moment, looking like he was thinking of something else for a moment. He shook his head, looking back at her. "And it pays the bills."
"Yea, paying bills is usually a good idea." Mika said. One corner of his mouth quirked up, but that was all he allowed himself to show.
"Do you like yours?" he asked. Mika raised her eyebrows slightly, surprised at his quick return with a question. Conversation with Bucky usually involved a lot of pauses and careful answers. But even if his posture still gave away his constant vigilance, she felt like maybe he was starting to become a little bit comfortable with her.
"It's alright." she said with a shrug. "It challenges me a lot, mentally. But sometimes I get tired of being at a computer all day."
"So you run." he said, though his tone sounded a little more like a question.
"Exactly. I've never been good at sitting still for long periods of time." she answered. The thought of going back to her desk at home made her feel fidgety, so she switched her position so her legs were down and crossed. Bucky didn't seem to have a follow up question, and silence was suffocating her. So she let herself ramble, just a little bit. "I used to be quite the athlete, back in the day. Played anything they would let me - football, basketball, rugby, you name it. Not so much anymore."
Bucky looked like he was thinking really hard. "Football...with the helmets?" he asked. Mika furrowed her brows, trying to figure out what he was talking about. The light came on when she remembered he was from New York.
"Oh, no. Football of the European variety." she explained, and struggled to remember the word in English. "Soccer?"
"Oh." Bucky replied. He looked like he was trying very hard to remember something. She figured he was having trouble translating. "But there's other forms of football?"
"Yes, like Americans have it with the helmets." she said. "There's also a Gaelic version. And Australian."
"Australian…" Bucky was putting the pieces together. "Footie." He finally said, as if it suddenly clicked.
"I think that's what they call it, yea." Mika agreed. He had a self-satisfied smile on his face; she wondered if he realized he was doing it.
"I played that, one time. When I was younger." he said.
"And how did you find it?" Mika asked. She'd played a few times when on holiday, but she she didn't say anything. Bucky was finally coming out of his shell a little bit, and she wanted to see how much she could get him to talk.
"Fun, I think." he said uncertainly. He was quiet for another moment. "I mainly did baseball. And boxing."
"Boxing? Like Rocky?" she asked. She thought about asking him to teach her a little bit, but was distracted by his reaction. Bucky tilted his head to the side, and Mika sighed in frustration. "Seriously? No Rocky? That film is iconic."
"I can't tell you the last time I saw a movie." he said with a shrug. He had an odd look on his face, but she couldn't decipher it.
"Well someday soon, I'll introduce you to the magic of the cinema. Your film reference knowledge is tragic." she said. Bucky opened his mouth to respond, but they were interrupted by Rebecca returning, plates in hand. She set their food down in front of them, making some idle small talk with them with a big smile on her face before returning inside. Mika noticed that Rebecca was mainly trying to converse with Bucky, who was giving the poor girl nothing but short, cordial responses. She didn't comment on it this time, trying for once not to pry.
"So what is your favorite movie?" she asked, settling on a safe topic for them. Bucky stopped mid-chew, his brows furrowing as he tried to decide. She was expecting some documentary, or an action epic. What she got instead, was -
"Wizard of Oz." he answered, his voice almost a whisper. She didn't know why he spoke so hesitantly, because his face didn't look ashamed of the response. As well it shouldn't - after all, she was one of many who considered Wizard of Oz a classic.
"Really?" she asked, surprised. "Not what I was expecting. A good choice, though."
"The first time I saw it, the colors…" he smiled again, which made Mika smile. "...they were incredible. Never seen anything like it."
She thought that was odd, considering how old the movie was, but didn't comment. Maybe his parents were very strict when it came to television and movies - that would explain why he didn't seem to be interested in them. Or maybe he just didn't like them in general. Mika decided not to think too hard about it, figuring that was a conversation for another day.
"Who was your favorite? My sisters loved the Scarecrow, but I was always partial to the Lion myself." she said.
"Had a thing for Dorothy." he said with a grin. He moved his left arm, the prosthetic clicking underneath his long sleeves. "Though maybe now I should switch it to the Tin Man."
Mika laughed. As he'd told her before, his jokes were few and far between. But they always came out of nowhere, which was a sure way to amuse her. "Well yes, you need to support your brethren." she said. His eyes looked far away for a moment, but he shook his head again, bringing himself back from whatever place his mind kept going.
"And you?" he asked.
"Me what?" she responded to his question with another question.
"Your favorite." he said, his voice dropping ever so slightly. Mika cursed inwardly. Of course that's what he was asking, what else would it be?
"Oh, right, duh." she said, rolling her eyes at herself. "It varies, but I always seem to come back to Pride and Prejudice."
Bucky looked surprised, and looked at her as if he was trying to figure out if she was kidding. "Isn't that...a book?" he asked slowly.
Her eyebrows shot up. He'd never heard of Batman, but he knew Pride and Prejudice was a book first? "Well, yes, but they made a movie of it. More than one, actually."
Bucky furrowed his brows, contemplating this fact. Mika waited for his conclusion, but all he gave her was an unsatisfying, "Hmph."
"That's it?" she asked. He tilted his head, confused.
"What?" he prompted.
"I just gave you earth shattering knowledge. I told you that a book you know has been made to a full length feature film, and that the adaptation is good, and all you say is, 'hmph'?" she exclaimed. He grinned at her outburst, and shrugged.
"Never said I read it." he replied. Mika's jaw went slack at the response.
"Didn't say you -" she shook her head, trying to wrap her mind around the situation. "Is that...two jokes? In one day?"
He leaned back in his chair, once again checking the perimeter. He didn't say anything, but he looked rather proud of himself. Rebecca returned at that moment, taking up their dishes and once again trying to make conversation (mainly with Bucky). Bucky, once again, completely missed what was going on. He handed her cash for his meal and instructed her to keep the change, while Mika handed her a credit card. Rebecca seemed to notice Bucky's jacket wrapped around Mika, but also considered their separate payments. Mika did her best to look casual, though wasn't sure how to convey with her body language no, I'm not dating the man I'm sitting with.
She actually felt okay with the silence that followed, for once not feeling nervous enough to chatter through it. The orange leaves in the trees danced as the wind flowed through them, but Bucky's jacket was enough to keep her warm. She made a mental note to dig out her cold weather gear over the weekend - she could feel the frosty tingle that was sure sign of winter moving in. She glanced over at Bucky; he didn't seem bothered by the chill at all. In fact, if she ignored his tense shoulders, his suspicious gaze, and the purposeful placement of his feet, he almost looked relaxed.
Rebecca returned with their receipts, a blush painting her pale cheeks. She gave them a quick farewell, hurrying back into the safety of the restaurant. Mika added her tip and signed the paper, making sure it was tucked safely into the server book before gathering her things. Bucky looked confused, his face serious as he looked at his receipt.
"Did she charge you incorrectly?" Mika asked. Bucky shook his head, but didn't say anything. He put the receipt on the table, using his right hand to carefully fold it. Mika spotted thick numbers written in sharpie across the bottom of the page. "Bucky! She gave you her number!"
"So?" Bucky asked, tucking the receipt into his pocket and standing up. Mika followed his lead, catching up to him as he strode back towards their apartment building.
"'So'? She was cute! You should call her." she pestered. Bucky glanced at her from the corner of his eye.
"Can't." he said shortly.
"What do you mean you can't? You said you didn't have a girlfriend. Oh!" she was hit with a sudden realization. "Unless you have a boyfriend?"
"No." he said, in the same tone as before. "Don't have a phone."
Mika stopped walking. Bucky travelled another ten feet before realizing this, stopping and turning back to her. "How do you - what do you mean you - no phone?! How do you get anything done?!"
"Just do." Bucky said, acting as if he hadn't just told Mika the most unbelievable fact she'd ever heard. She took a deep, calming breath, staring at the sky.
"Honestly, I don't even know why I'm surprised. No wonder you haven't seen Batman or Rocky. Have you even heard of Netflix?" she asked, her hands on her hips.
"No. Is it for fishing?" he asked. She stared at him for a long time before deducing that he was, in fact, serious.
"What on earth am I going to do with you?" she asked, shaking her head. She stuffed her hands in the pockets of his jacket, finally moving to catch up with him. They continued their trek back to the apartment building. "You have so much we need to catch up on. It's a tragedy."
"I've been out of it for a while." he replied. Mika clamped her mouth shut. Of course he had a lot to catch up on, she'd already come to the conclusion that he was ex-military. He'd obviously been through a lot, what with the whole prosthetic arm and old surveillance habits. And once again, she found herself feeling like an insensitive asshole.
"Don't worry, I'll fill you in." she said. Her cheeks still burned with the embarrassment of her snafu, but she hoped it was coming across and a rosy glow from the cold wind. She didn't dare look him in the eye for the time being. She was glad when they reached the building, the stairs giving her an excuse not to talk. The climb warmed her back up from the chill outside, and by the time they reached the top, she was comfortable enough to peel Bucky's jacket off and hand it back to him.
"Thanks." he said, looking like he'd forgotten he'd given it to her.
"No, thank you. I definitely didn't prepare for the elements." Mika insisted. Bucky gave her another half-grin before turning towards his door. She suddenly remembered something she meant to ask him earlier. "Oh wait, Bucky?"
"Hm?" he said, looking back at her. The response was so quiet, she almost didn't hear it. In fact, she wasn't sure he meant to let it out in the first place.
"I have a favor to ask." she said, her confidence wilting under his gaze. He looked confused for a second, then held his jacket back out to her. She smiled, but shook her head. "No, um, that's very sweet but...well, you mentioned that you did boxing, and I just - I mean, if it's okay - I was hoping you could teach me some stuff."
Bucky couldn't hide his surprise. "Absolutely not." he said after a moment. Mika was taken aback by the response.
"Just a little bit!" she said. "I don't need to be a professional, I just want to be able to, you know, defend myself."
He stared for a moment. Mika held her breath, hoping that his resolve was waning. "I don't know." he said quietly.
"I promise you, I looked into classes and everything, but they're all so expensive and they don't seem to be very good and I just…" she paused. "I don't like feeling weak. I just want to be able to protect myself. To feel independent again. To be able to go for a run without my neighbor worrying about me."
She hadn't meant to make the conversation so emotional, but the lack of sleep over the past few weeks had made her moods a little quicker to swing. Bucky's face softened ever so slightly, just enough for her to notice it. His eyes moved away for a second as he thought about her request. After what felt like ages, he finally looked back to her.
"Okay." he said, making Mika jump in excitement. "So you can be safe."
"Yes! Thank you, that's all I want." she replied. Her initial reaction was to hug him, but she knew he would not appreciate that gesture. Instead she gave him her most grateful smile. "Maybe Saturday morning? The gym I go to is nearly empty at that time, and they have a room they use for group classes that has mats and stuff. Say, seven?"
"Six." he said after a moment. Mika was a little taken aback by his insistence, but didn't question it.
"Six it is then. I'd say I'd text you, but someone doesn't have a phone." she said, giving him a pointed look. Too late, she hoped he realized she was just poking fun. The corner of his mouth quirked up and he gave her one last shrug before turning and going into his apartment. Mika allowed herself one self satisfied smirk before going into her apartment. She slept a little easier that night, knowing she was one step closer to putting things back together.
Thank you for all the wonderful feedback! If you have a minute, please let me know what you think!