Chapter 22: Let The Chips Fall

Bucky felt like he was stuck in a dream. Well, not necessarily a dream. But not necessarily a nightmare either, at least not his normal one. The world was hazy, the fog periodically interrupted by the scarlet veil of pain or the cool breeze of Mika's voice. He hadn't been injured like this in a long time, and he'd forgotten how long recovery took. But at least he knew he would recover. Probably. If he could find his way through this smog.

When he finally woke up, he had no idea where he was. What he did know was that he was in pain. Pain the likes of which he hadn't experienced in a long time. But he found he couldn't feel mad about it. The pain reminded him that he was alive, and that he wasn't the Soldier anymore.

Contrary to the pain, he was currently surrounded by softness. He had a sudden fleeting thought that he was dead and in heaven, but he dismissed it quickly. First of all, he wasn't going to make it into heaven. Second, even if he somehow did manage to make his way in, he assumed he wouldn't have this pain. He finally garnered the courage to move his head, then immediately regretted it. The afternoon light cut into his brain like a knife, piercing him with yet another pain. That's was fine, he reasoned. It wasn't the worst he'd ever felt. He realized the softness around him was blankets - he didn't think he'd ever been surrounded by so many blankets. He didn't think anyone owned this many blankets. He wanted nothing more than to sink into them and go back to sleep, but was distracted by the sound of someone shifting nearby.

This time he did turn, and was surprised to see Mika there, still fast asleep. She had somehow curled up tight enough to fit her whole body into her chair, though her covers had fallen to the floor. Her hands were still slightly pink from his blood, and her knees were a blatant red. She must not have seen the stains there. He needed to leave; he had far overstayed his welcome. He felt like an elephant was sitting on his chest as he realized how much he owed her. He would be buying pizza and coffee and pastries for a decade.

He tried to sit up, biting back a groan as he did. He immediately felt lightheaded with the change in position, and sat there for a minute or two to allow what little blood he had left to make it back up to his head. He could feel the trauma in his lung, and was still having difficulty breathing. He attempted to move his shoulder, but found that the tendons of his rotator cuff were still healing and his active motion was minimal. He put his feet on the floor, testing out his ankle. The bone was roughly forty-two percent healed, which was going to make his limp back home a little more difficult than he originally anticipated. But as long as Mika was a really heavy sleeper, he'd be able to make it.

"The fuck do you think you're going?" Mika mumbled, slowly unfurling from her position. She rubbed her eyes with the back of her hands, trying to wake up quicker. Her hair was sticking up at odd angles, the tangles gathered into a very messy pile on the top of her head.

"Thank you for your help last night. I don't want to intrude any longer." he replied. He became acutely aware of the fact that he was still shirtless. He wasn't shy about his body - he'd forgone his own modesty long ago - but he knew the scars would be even more prominent in the daylight.

"You're not intruding. How are you feeling?" she asked, leaning her elbows on her thighs. She was still unaware of the red stains on her skin, but he saw them. They were dark and angry against the sun kissed tone of her skin.

"Much better. I can go home, I know you have things to do." he replied. His current plan was to return to his mattress and sleeping bag and promptly pass out again. Assuming his ankle didn't send him to the floor somewhere between the two apartments.

"If you won't let me take you to a hospital, I'm sure as hell not going to let you go hide in your apartment where I can't keep an eye on you. Here, I have some hydrocodone if you want it, for the pain. It expired a couple months ago but it should be fine." she said, holding out an orange bottle of pills. He shook his head.

"I'm okay." he said. He didn't want to explain that the medication would metabolize too quickly, and he would not feel the effects of it. Her eyes went wide as she had a realization.

"Oh my god, you must be dying of thirst. I never gave you any water. Shit, I'm the worst nurse ever." she said, suddenly more awake as she got up and went to her kitchen. He tried to get up while her back was turned, but failed miserably.

"I'll be fine." he said, even though his mouth was dry and his throat parched. He didn't want to bother her any longer. The worst nurse ever? She was the best nurse he'd had since the army. She gave him a rather impressive withering look from the sink, effectively silencing him as she walked over with a full glass.

"Drink." she said, handing it to him. Bucky took it gratefully, carefully holding it in his left hand and taking a sip. It hit him exactly how deep his thirst was, and he downed the glass in its entirety. She took it back to the sink and refilled it, and this time he only drank half of it before setting it down on the coffee table.

"Thank you." he said again. He didn't know what else to say. It had been such a long time since someone had extended such kindness to him that it felt foreign. He couldn't get over the feeling that he was being intrusive. She shouldn't have to deal with him like this.

"Of course. Let me check your bandage, then I'll see to some breakfast. Or...late lunch." she said after checking her watch. She looked tired, very tired. Then again, one probably had some level of exhaustion if their neighbor ended up half dead on their doorstep at four o'clock in the morning.

"I'm okay, really." he replied. He knew the burns on the back of his neck were mostly healed, and the puncture wound in his back was working its way back together. The rate of healing would likely lead to questions, questions that he wasn't sure he could answer. She gave him another glare, turning and digging through her red first aid kit to find more gauze.

"It's okay to ask for help sometimes." is all she said, sitting next to him on the couch and gently touching his shoulder as she looked at his back. The normal floral scent that surrounded her was punctuated by the sharp smells of antiseptic and cleaning supplies. These harsh odors didn't suit her, and he didn't like them being around her.

"You've already helped enough. More than enough." he whispered. Really, she was being too kind to him. He didn't deserve this. It gave him an uncomfortable feeling somewhere between his chest and his stomach that made him want to retreat immediately. He spotted her towels piled in the basket, the fibers dyed red with his blood. "I'll buy you new towels."

"Stop it. I'm a grown woman, Bucky, I know how to get blood out of clothing." she replied, carefully peeling the tape away. Her answer surprised him, and it took him more than a moment to catch her meaning. The gauze she removed was almost completely soaked through, so she doubled up on the fresh coverings before applying them. Her hands were cold, colder than they were last night, but her touch was just as gentle as before. He felt her fingers gently check the burns on his neck, hesitant as she made her assessment. He knew she noticed how healed they were. She always seemed to notice anything he didn't want her to. With his new bandage in place, she went back into the kitchen and washed her hands. He considered getting up and just making a break for the door, but knew it would be a futile attempt. He had to give her some credit - Mika could be quite stubborn when she wanted.

She brought him toast and butter, as well as some slices of deli meat, citing that he probably needed some protein. All she had for herself was a cup of coffee. He considered mentioning the protein bars he had in the bottom of his backpack, but remembered that his backpack likely burned with the rest of the building. Luckily he'd left his journal at home. He stacked the meat onto the toast and made a sandwich, figuring it would be easier than trying to eat the individual parts. She made sure he was comfortable before ducking into her room, cutting the shower on. He thought it odd that she left the door to her bedroom open, as well as the door to her bathroom - sure, he couldn't see anything, but did she not worry about privacy? It then occurred to him that she might have left them open in case of emergency; it's what he would have done.

She came out a few minutes later, dressed in jeans and a blouse and pinning her still wet hair into a bun. The floral scent was stronger than usual, and it was no longer diluted with the medical smells. She ran around the kitchen, refilling his glass of water and grabbing some fruit to put near him on the coffee table. The coffee machine ran again, filling a travel cup. She pulled up her laptop, logging in and opening an application. She sat that next to the fruit. "I have to run in to the office right quick, but I'll be back in an hour, two at most. If you need anything, message Nicolae. He'll be able to relay it to me."

"I can just go home. Don't worry about me." he murmured, trying to stand up and immediately sinking back down as his ankle screamed at him. It likely wouldn't be healed enough to hold him, but he'd find a way to make it. She had things to do, and he didn't need to bother her anymore.

"Bucky, no." she said sharply, crossing her arms and putting all her weight on one hip. The strength in her tone stopped him from attempting to get up again. She was mad at him. He'd seen her angry before, but never directed at him. It didn't sit well. "You are still very clearly injured. You will eat your food and you will drink your water and you will go back to sleep until I get back."

"I'm sorry." he said. He didn't think this was the proper response, but it was the first one to come to mind. He felt bad for taking her time, for waking her up in the middle of the night. He didn't want to be a burden.

"What are you sorry for?" she asked. She was still giving him a very serious look, though the anger had faded from her eyes. She was instead looking at him with what he thought was concern. The question hung in the air between them for a long moment as he considered his answer.

"For being a bother, I guess." he said. She'd completely thrown him for a loop with her question, and he had no idea what the proper answer was. He decided to be completely honest, and see what happened. Her mouth actually fell open for a moment at his response, and his heard her heart beat rise with her emotions. Her skin tinged pink ever so slightly as her blood pressure rose.

"For 'being a bother'? That's why you think I'm upset? I'm not upset because you're being a bother, I'm upset because you…" she cut herself off, turning her face skyward for a moment. She was blinking rapidly, her fingers delicately covering her mouth. She was trying not to cry. Bucky felt like something in his gut splintered in half. He didn't mean to trouble her like this. He cursed his past self for not being strong enough to make it into his own apartment, for putting Mika through this. When she spoke again, her voice wavered, and her eyes were still glassy. "You scared me last night, Bucky. You scared me really badly."

"I'm sorry." he said again. He could no longer define the emotions rolling around his chest, he only knew that he did not feel good. This was not right. This was not how he was supposed to feel with his friend - and clearly, this was not how she was supposed to feel either. A heavy stone settled into his stomach as he realized he may have messed up beyond repair. She gave a humorless laugh, crossing her arms tightly around her middle.

"You don't have to apologize. I just...I thought you were going to die. I thought you were going to die right here on my kitchen floor, and that was terrifying. But it doesn't seem to concern you at all." she said. The concerned look was still on her face, and he felt like she was asking him a question, even though she wasn't.

"I promised I wouldn't." he whispered, and her face immediately told him that he'd said the wrong thing.

"Yea, because you knew about your weird super healing. But I didn't know about that! All I knew was that you were bleeding out. I can't complete the puzzle if I don't have all the pieces!" she took a breath, trying to calm herself down. She closed her eyes for a moment as she collected herself. He felt another piece of himself chip and crack. She came and sat next to him on the couch, resting a hand on his knee. She usually maintained relative space between them, but she seemed to be ignoring it for now. He sat very still. "I know you have stuff that you keep to yourself. I get that. But do you want to know why I got mad? Cause to me, you don't seem to care what happens to you. But I do. I care about what happens to you. So please, please, lay back down and wait until I get back."

Bucky was floored. For the first time in a long time, he had absolutely no response. He knew that there was a baseline level of care to be expected with friendship. But to hear her spell it out so candidly still made his heart thump in a weird way. The last person who cared if he died was Steve, and that was in 1942. And yet, as he sat there with Mika with her gentle touch and her sad eyes, he felt a little bit guilty. Not for bothering her, but for assuming that none of this would affect her. She took his silence as discomfort, slowly moving her hand away from his knee. She didn't scoot away though, she stayed close to him. He was having trouble breathing, though he didn't know if it was because of the internal bleeding or the emotional conversation.

"I didn't realize that." he said softly, cursing himself. He should be better at social interactions than this. She gave him a sad smile.

"I know. Now you do." she said. She gave him one last pat on the knee before standing up, walking across her apartment to grab her purse and keys. She didn't seem to be angry anymore, which was good. He didn't like when she was angry. "So eat, and go back to sleep, okay?"

"I'll do my best." he said. He was exhausted to his core, but he didn't think he could sleep. It was too new an experience, being in her apartment like this. She was really just going to leave him here, in her home, all by himself. Her trust never ceased to amaze him. She gave him a knowing smile, and for the first time in a while he wondered if she could read his mind. She turned on the television, scrolling through the list until she found the thing she wanted. The picture quality wasn't as sharp as most of the movies they watched, and he was surprised when to find it in black and white. The opening seemed familiar, the girl in her checkered dress running across the field.

"Is this…?" he left the question hanging. He couldn't believe she remembered his comment from all those months ago.

"Rest up, Tin Man, I'll be back in a little bit." she said with a smile, placing the remote back on the coffee table and going to grab her next cup of coffee from the machine. He gave her a tired grin as she slipped out the front door, closing it behind her. He sat there on her couch as the movie played, trying to decide his next plan of action. Everything in him screamed to leave, to go to his apartment and pack and leave. He'd gotten close, gotten way too close.

But he wanted to be close. He wanted to have friends, to be closer to normal. The lingering pain only reiterated that he was no longer the Soldier, he was his own Man. He let out a decisive breath, his healing ribs popping with the action. For the first time, he seriously considered telling her about his past, what he'd been through. She had a point - she'd always shared her cards, whereas he'd kept his tucked close to his chest. That was no way to maintain a friendship. He couldn't show his entire hand yet - no, he probably would never be able to do that. But he could start. He'd find a way to start.

Mika paused outside her door, taking a deep breath and collecting herself once more before starting down the stairs. She was tired, both body and soul, but Bucky was okay. At least, she thought he was okay. His face was still as pale as her walls, but his breathing seemed to be clearer, and he wasn't coughing up anymore blood. The wound in his back was still deep, but the bruises around his ribs were already yellow and green, and the burns on the back of his neck were scabbed over and surrounded by new, pink flesh. She wasn't a doctor, but she knew that much healing wasn't supposed to happen overnight. She hadn't meant to snap about it, she'd meant to file it under the list of things she wasn't supposed to ask about. But his cavalier attitude about his near-death experience had ignited an anger within her that she hadn't expected. The night before had been exhausting, and difficult, and a little bit traumatizing. Seeing her good friend nearly die in a pool of his own blood was not something Mika thought she'd ever have to deal with, and she was never able to fully accept the possibility that he was going to die. He didn't seem to think the possibility of death was something to panic about. She vehemently disagreed.

The afternoon sun was warm on her face as she walked down the street to the garage that housed her car. It was well enough past the lunch hour that traffic to her office building was clear, and she hoped she could get in and out fast enough to avoid the rush hour back home. The only spots left in the building parking garage were at the top, and she cursed the oncoming summer heat as she tried to keep herself from sweating during the trip down to the building's main entrance. She greeted the usual security guards at their posts, allowing them to scan her body with the wand and rifle through her purse before she continued on to the elevators.

She didn't bother going to her desk, knowing that she wasn't going to be clocking in or doing any work today. She already called in sick around ten o'clock that morning, after the third time Bucky's sleep talking had woken her. She was here for something else. She passed by her own office, keeping her head down so as to not invite conversation with any coworkers. The office she was looking for was in the back corner. Nicolae looked bored, staring at his computer screen with his head resting on his hand. He immediately perked up as he spotted Mika.

"I thought you were on your deathbed." he said, giving her a Cheshire grin.

"Oh I am. But I needed a favor." she said, giving him her most innocent look. He immediately dropped his grin for a suspicious glare.

"What do you want?" he asked, his tone low and cautious. She fished through her bag, finding the chipped and cracked chunk of metal that used to be her phone. She held it up, showing the damage to him. He let out an appreciative whistle.

"Damn girl, what did you do to that poor thing? Run over it?" he asked, pushing away from his desk and walking up to her. He took the phone in his hands and turned it over carefully, admiring the damage.

"Long story." she said, taking the brick back from him and tossing it into the trash. "Do you think you can help me out?"

"Of course I can, come on. I was wondering why you weren't responding to my hilarious SnapChats last night." he replied, leading her back to the elevators. They went down to the lower levels, where there were no windows and only a few functioning lights. Nicolae walked confidently through the hallways while she followed, trying to keep up with his long strides.

"I always hate coming down here." she murmured. Even though she knew in her head it was just a normal storage area, she couldn't deny the creepy feeling she got from it.

"Well maybe you should stop demolishing your phones." he said with a laugh, pulling a key from his pocket and unlocking one of the doors. He went to the back, pulling open a few containers before finding the one he wanted. He grabbed a new iPhone box, handing it to her. "Here, this was just thrown out last week, so you'll still have almost two years on it. If you can get it to last that long."

"What's wrong with this one?" she asked, if only for future reference. He paused, looking at the yellow sticker that was placed on it and furrowing his brows as he translated the code.

"The music app doesn't work." he said, which made her recoil her hand as if the box were a snake.

"You expect me to live without music?" she asked, astonished at the thought. He laughed, shaking his head.

"No, no, of course not. It's the Apple Music app that doesn't work. Spotify should still be fine." he answered, which was a satisfactory response. She took the box, dropping it into her purse. It didn't matter the phone number, she knew how to work the software to get her old one attached to it. She paused for a moment, eyeing the container that he'd previously been holding. She had an idea.

"Would there happen to be another one in there?" she questioned casually. Nicolae perked an eyebrow.

"Is this one not good enough for you?" he answered her question with a question.

"Oh no this one is perfect. I just know a friend that could use one too." she explained, giving him a winning smile.

"Would this happen to be your neighbor friend?" he asked in a conspiratory manner, surprising Mika.

"Yes, why do you ask?" she continued. He gave her a mischievous look that frankly made her a little nervous.

"Elena's been scheming." he replied, turning and looking through the bin again. He didn't see Mika roll her eyes as he grabbed another box. He checked the yellow tag on it and grimaced. "This is the only other one, but turns out there's a bug that inhibits Facebook and Twitter. But there's another shipment coming in next week, I'm sure there'll be at least one lemon in the bunch."

"Oh, he won't care about that." she said, waving him off and holding her hand out for the box. Nicolae perked an eyebrow, but handed it over anyway.

"Really? No social media for him, huh?" he asked, as if that should arise her suspicions. She shrugged in response.

"Nope. Not into it." she replied, eyeing the yellow tag so that she could differentiate the phones later. He locked up the box, and they made their way back out into the hallway. She was glad when they were out of the elevator and above ground.

"I thought you didn't trust anyone without an online presence?" he pointed out, pausing in the lobby. Mika shrugged again.

"He's obviously got a lot of baggage. Figure he deserves his privacy." she said nonchalantly. She couldn't deny that she had an intense desire to cyberstalk her neighbor, but so far she'd been able to contain herself. Bucky wasn't some dude at a bar trying to hide a girlfriend, he was clearly someone just trying to start a new life. Nicolae made a noise of disbelief.

"Sounds fake, but okay." he said. He checked his watch, startling and pressing the button for the elevator again. "I've got to run. You go home and...get better I guess?"

"We'll go with that. Thanks, Nicolae, I'll see you later." she said, kissing his cheek goodbye and walking out of the building. Different security guards checked her out, not giving the two phones in her purse a second glance. They never did. The work in the building was so heavily focused on technology that it didn't concern them. She made it back to her car without any concern, escaping downtown just before the early afternoon rush. Nicolae hadn't mentioned his phone or messenger going off, so she assumed Bucky was back asleep. At least, she had to tell herself over and over that he was asleep so that she didn't speed through Bucharest in an effort to get home faster. She returned her car to its spot and started her walk home, trying to enjoy the sunshine instead of worrying about her friend. Her stomach growled as she passed by a few food vendors, but she didn't stop. Her anxiety wouldn't let her waste time like that. She thought about ordering a pizza, but remembered her phone was currently nonfunctioning. She would just have to make do.

She was honestly a little surprised to find Bucky still sitting on her couch when she returned. She hadn't expected her mom voice to work that well, and was very glad to see him actually listening to her and resting. He wasn't sleeping, but she could forgive that. The plates in front of him were empty, as well as his glass. The color was starting to come back into his face now. He gave her a brief smile, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. The metal of his arm clicked as he adjusted. He tried to hide a wince as he moved, but he couldn't, not completely. She didn't know if he allowed the tiny slip in his stoic features, or if he was actually in so much pain that he couldn't stop himself. He looked at her with some sort of vague expression, but she couldn't quite decipher it.

"How are you feeling?" she asked quietly, coming to sit next to him on the couch again.

"Better, thank you." he said, his eyes dropping from her. His hands were clasped in front of him, his fingers moving in slow patterns over his palms. He was nervous, and he was letting her see it. She just didn't understand why - why he was nervous, or why he was forthcoming with it. She gave him a reassuring smile and picked up his water glass, going to the sink to refill it and give him a moment to collect his thoughts. She grabbed a package of toaster pastries for herself, deciding that was a worthwhile snack until they decided on supper.

"Here you go." she said softly, handing the glass to him. He nodded in thanks, taking a sip from it before just holding it in front of him, staring into it as if it held the answers. She carefully tore open the package to her food, the crinkle of the foil package sounding loud to her ears. The movie was still playing, and she feigned interest in it. Something was balancing between them, waiting to tip over the edge. She had the feeling he wanted to say something, but she didn't want to force it, even if she was dying to know what it was. Either he'd break down and share it, or he'd stifle it, and she'd be left to wonder for another day. His breaths were slow and even, with no trace of a wheeze or a gurgle. She took small bites of her food, waiting.

"During the War, I fell from a train." he said. His voice was so quiet, she barely heard him. She immediately stopped chewing, turning to look at him. He put his glass of water on the coffee table, going back to squeezing his palms together. He didn't know what finally pushed him into speaking the words aloud that had been running through his head for the past hour. Her eyes were wide, sympathetic. She hadn't been expecting him to say anything. And if she did, it wasn't this.

"Bucky, you don't have to. I'm sorry for what I said earlier-" she started, but he interrupted her with a shake of his head. No, this was something he needed to do. He needed to prove, both to her and to himself, that he could trust her, at least a little bit. Every alarm in his head was screeching at him, telling him to shut up, to retreat. He was giving up information. He was told never to give up information.

"You don't owe me an apology. You were right." he said. He took another long moment, gathering his thoughts. Mika had been unabashedly herself for the entirety of their friendship, despite his standoffishness and hesitance. She had always been helpful and patient and respectful of his privacy. He couldn't tell her the whole story, of course. He hoped he would never have to tell anyone the whole story. But she deserved to know at least part of it. "I fell from a train, and I lost my arm. I was found by the enemy, and taken. They gave me this one, but they had to...do things. To make sure I survived it. That's why I heal so fast."

"You were a prisoner of war." she said, her voice a breathy whisper. He finally turned to look at her. The expression she wore wasn't one of pity (which he was thankful for), but he couldn't quite interpret it. Tears were shimmering in her eyes again. Twice in one day, he'd made her cry. He didn't like it.

"I was with them for a long time." he said, putting an air of finality on his statement. That was all he could share. He wished he could be more open with her, but this was the most he could do. He held his breath as he waited for her response, waiting to see if he could continue trying to live his life, or if he needed to start learning Croatian. Behind her emotions, she was calculating something. His blood suddenly went cold. She was putting the pieces together. He'd said too much, and she knew too much. She was going to realize that he was the Winter Soldier. His muscles tensed, and he swallowed back the guilt and heartbreak as he prepared to incapacitate her and run.

But she didn't say anything. Instead, she leaned slowly and cautiously toward him, keeping her hands in sight until she gently wrapped her arms around him, laying her head against his shoulder. She was hugging him.

He sat very still, overwhelmed by every detail of this situation. Her arms were warm against his chest and his back, her breath tickling his skin. The flyaway bits of hair from her bun barely brushed against his neck. He thought she might let go after a moment, but she didn't, and he found that he didn't want her to. He let out a long breath, relaxing his posture. He gradually moved his hand until it rested against against her upper arm. Her skin was soft, incredibly soft. He grazed his thumb over it once, but refrained from doing it again. It felt too personal, too intimate. But the hug? The hug felt nice. His heart was quiet in a way that it hadn't been in a long time.

He didn't know how long they sat there, but eventually she pulled away. His skin felt cold where she'd been touching him. "Thank you, for sharing that with me." she said, sniffling and wiping her eyes. He nodded, his throat feeling oddly thick and inhibiting him from speaking. She reached over to her purse, pulling out two black boxes. "This seems so much less important after this conversation, but…"

"What is it?" he asked. He was completely unaware of proper protocol following such a serious moment, and was grateful for any sort of distraction. She looked at the yellow tags on the boxes before picking one of them, popping it open. There sat a shiny new iPhone. She powered it on and typed a few numbers into it before hooking it up to her computer.

"Just in case you ever get into trouble, you have a way to call me. So that maybe you don't have to walk five kilometers on a broken ankle." she explained, her eyes focusing as she ran some sort of program on the computer. A few minutes and keystrokes later, and she was satisfied with her work. She unplugged the phone, handing it to him. Four squares blinked up at him. "Go ahead, pick your passcode." she said, turning away from him and picking up the second device.

"I can't accept this." he said quietly. This was too much of a logistical nightmare. He could be tracked through this, found through it.

"Sure you can. It's free. My company gets a shit ton of these all the time, but sometimes they're lemons and something doesn't work right. There's two year prepaid service, and it's routed through the company. Plus, I took the liberty of adding the extra security measures I add to my own phone." she said, plugging what he assumed was her new phone into her computer. She'd really thought this through. He still thought the security compromise was too great, but he figured he could at least try for a day or two before finding a way to rectify the situation. He carefully keyed in the number 1917. She turned back to him, startling him for a moment. "Oh, by the way, Facebook doesn't work."

"What's Facebook?" he asked. He didn't like the sound of that. He did not want his face in any books. She laughed, going back to her screen.

"That's what I thought." she said, typing a few more things before unplugging the phone. She pulled up an app he'd seen her use a few times. "I'm starving. Do you want pizza? I want pizza."

"Pizza sounds good." he replied, giving her a smile. Every day of their friendship, he felt like he was taking a risk. But today? Today the risk paid off. He had no desire to be vulnerable like that for a long time, but knowing that he could be vulnerable, and on his own terms, and that he had someone who would be understanding and supportive?

That's what made all the difference.

Thank you so so so much for all the wonderful feedback on this story! Y'all are seriously the best, I can't thank you enough for your kind words and support. I hope you enjoyed this chapter!

Side note, I'm seeing Infinity War tomorrow...let's hope our faves can make it through!

-XM