Chapter 38: Comfort Over Style
Mika sat at the bar, nervously tapping the bar top and awaiting the arrival of her friends. Tonight would be the first night she and Bucky would be out at the pub since taking their big step together, and while the rational part of her brain knew that everyone would likely be happy with this change, she couldn't help but feel slightly anxious after the lack of support from her last so-called relationship. Not that whatever she had going on with Dominic was an actual thing, certainly not as real and true as what she had with Bucky. But it wasn't nothing.
"Stop that." Hans said from down the bar where he was wiping down glasses, sending her a playful look. Mika stilled her hands, tucking them to her lap and giving him a sheepish grin. She was always fidgeting; that was a habit that she needed to break.
"Sorry." she said quietly, only to notice that now she was picking at her nail polish. She considered sitting on her hands, just to make herself stop messing with anything she could find.
"Why are you freaking out about tonight?" he continued, sliding closer to her so they could talk a little easier. She didn't ask how he knew she was freaking out, as she figured she would get the same response as when she used to ask about how he knew everyone's orders without asking - that it was obvious. She shrugged in response, not really having an exact answer. At least, not one she was willing to admit out loud.
"I guess just the unknown. Don't know how everyone is gonna respond to me and Bucky." she finally answered, resting her elbow on the bar top and leaning her head heavily on her hand. Hans scoffed, rolling his eyes dramatically at her confession.
"Please. They've all seen this coming for months." he replied, his tone unimpressed. He furrowed his brows as a thought occurred to him. "Wait, you haven't told Elena yet?"
Another reason she was nervous for tonight. It's not that she didn't want to tell her best friend, it was just that she hadn't been able to find the right moment. She didn't want to just drop it on her via text, or tell her in passing during their short phone conversations. No, Elena deserved better than that. "I just haven't seen her in a couple weeks is all. And honestly, it was kind of nice being in the little bubble of just the two for us for a couple weeks." Mika responded. While Bucky was all in with her, he was still getting his feet underneath him again with their relationship. He tried so hard to be easy going about it, and there were definitely more and more moments where Mika could see a glimpse of the man he used to be, but he still needed to take things slow. That was alright with her - they were already so close as friends that they got to skip all the awkward "getting to know you" bits of a new relationship and instead skip to the slow blurring of boundaries and connecting in ways they hadn't before. Like with kisses, which were Mika's favorite.
"Oh, she's gonna be mad at you." he sang, putting up the last of the glasses. He looked over her shoulder for a second, and his glance confirmed her suspicions. "Hope you know what you're going to say, cause she's here."
"Was just gonna wing it and depend on Bucky to protect me, honestly." she said lowly, immediately dropping her nervous expression and exchanging it for a wide smile as she felt Elena's arms around her. She squeezed the other woman in a hug, and Elena quickly let go and sat on the stool next to her.
"You've been avoiding me." she said shortly, though she didn't look offended. Truth be told, Elena had also been very busy the past couple weeks. It was a new semester, which meant she had to deal with new students in her lab. She reached out and held Mika's hand, a knowing smile on her face. "And you know, you still haven't given me a straight answer about New Year's."
"I was just waiting to tell you in person." Mika offered as an excuse, which made Elena's eyes go wide and a squeal escape her. She smacked her friend's leg a few times, unable to contain her excitement.
"Tell me everything." she said, leaning forward and giving her the most rapt attention. Mika's stomach turned as she told the whole story, but this time it wasn't with nerves - this time, it was because she was happy and excited. She could feel herself blushing as she walked Elena through the conversation she and Bucky had, but she didn't care. Elena was obviously very on board with this turn of events, and Mika felt bad for doubting her at all. Elena only ever wanted what was best for her, and she'd made it very clear that she thought that was Bucky.
"And now we're just...together." she finished lamely, summing up the whole of the story. She felt like a teenager at a slumber party, talking about boys and sipping on drinks. Granted, when she was a teenager the drinks weren't quite as strong, but still. Elena made another loud squeal before jumping on Mika in a hug, squeezing her tightly and shaking her back and forth. The affection was certainly a little over the top, but she appreciated it all the same.
"Fucking finally!" she exclaimed, holding Mika by the shoulders and shaking her again for good measure. "Damn, Hans won the pool, but I don't even care. It was worth it."
"You all had a bet going?" Mika asked incredulously, perking an eyebrow. How did she manage to miss this? And when did all her loud mouth friends become so good at keeping secrets? Hell, what else were they hiding from her?
"Of course we did." Elena stated, taking a sip from her drink as if it were a normal thing to gamble on your friends' love lives. "Hans had New Years Day. I said you two were going to dance around it until May. We had to reset it three times because it was supposed to be the closest without going past."
"You're horrible, the lot of you." Mika said, but she was laughing all the same. Somehow it didn't seem to matter now. She waved at the bartender, getting him to come to their corner with a strained smile. "Tell me, Hans, are you going to split your winnings with us? Or keep them all to yourself?"
"How about drinks on the house for tonight?" he offered. Mika thought about it; she hadn't really been drunk since that night Bucky found her on the stairs. She definitely still remembered the hangover, and had no desire to do that again.
"Hm, no. I'll think of something and get back to you." she replied lightly, taking another sip of the one drink she was going to have tonight and turning back to Elena. Hans sighed deeply, shaking his head before returning to his post. "So everyone was in on this?"
"Oh, not Alexei. He was super salty about it for some reason. Hey! Maybe now he'll leave you alone. I wouldn't be hitting on you knowing Bucky was in your corner." she said, laughing at her own joke. Speak of the devil, Bucky finally made his way out of the kitchen, spotting them and giving her a soft smile. He slipped through the crowd, putting a gentle hand on Mika's lower back as she leaned over and kissed his cheek.
"Care for a drink?" he asked, and Mika shook her head no. She didn't want to be tipsy tonight, she just wanted to take it easy and turn in at a reasonable hour.
"I've got one." she replied with a smile, leaning ever so slightly into his shoulder. She thought he would be one to avoid public displays of affection given how purposeful he was with his touches, but he seemed generally comfortable. He grinned, turning to her friend and giving her a nod.
"Elena." he said in greeting, and for once his smile wasn't tight or nervous. Now that she realized he didn't care for her leaping on him as a way to say hello, he wasn't quite as scared of her.
"Bucky." she replied, her tone laced with some underlying suggestion. She perked an eyebrow at him, giving him a maniacal grin as he passed them to go get a drink from Hans. She turned back to Mika, the same expression on her face. "He's completely in love with you."
"Oh would you stop? We've been dating for like, five minutes." Mika admonished, smacking her friend on the hand. Truth be told, she thought she was falling dangerously fast for Bucky, but she was not about to tell anyone that. She was going to let him set the pace with everything, considering he was the one with the most baggage. She would just have to learn to be patient; after almost thirty years, now seemed like a good time to work on this skill.
"But you've been pining over each other for months now." Elena pointed out, and Mika couldn't exactly fight back, considering she was right. She tried to hurriedly think of a comeback, finally settling on,
"Doesn't matter. No more meddling." It wasn't a very good response, but it would have to do. The last thing she needed was for Elena to say something too bold and scare Bucky off. The thought alone was enough to make her heart break for a moment before she remembered that he was still here, and he was still with her. Sometimes she wondered if he regretted their decision, but then he would hold her hand, or put his arm around her, or kiss the side of her head, and she would remember that he had always been honest with her. At least, he was honest in the things he said, though he wasn't always forthcoming with information.
"Bet you two are married in a year." she said, taking a sip of her drink and eyeing her. Mika rolled her eyes, shaking her head in frustration. Marriage had not been a topic of conversation, and rightly so. She didn't need to go thinking about it (though she did sometimes, especially at night when she had trouble falling asleep).
"Elena." she said, a warning in her tone. She knew her friend was joking, just trying to get a rise out of her, but she was so scared of messing this relationship up on her own that the thought of Elena starting something was enough to incite a mild panic in her heart.
"Bet you're pregnant by next summer." she added, laughing at her own joke again. Mika soared the eye roll this time, instead leveling her with the most withering look she could manage.
"Elena!" she said sharply. Kids? They definitely hadn't talked about kids yet, and Mika wasn't even sold one hundred percent on the concept. Elena had the audacity to look affronted, as if she were the one being wronged.
"What? You've never cared when I made these jokes before." she pointed out, and even though Mika knew she was right, she was still a little peeved. Elena looked at her out of the corner of her eye. "What's changed?"
"I don't know, it's just...different now." she said with a shrug. She leaned her head against her hand, glancing across the bar as he saw Bucky and Nicolae chatting with Hans. He was so good looking, and his smile made her feel like her heart could fly, even if it wasn't directed at her. "I just really like him, is all. I just don't want to do anything to fuck it up."
"Oh please." Elena said, completely disregarding Mika's moment of self consciousness. "I'm pretty sure you could kill someone, and Bucky would just help you hide the body."
She honestly had no doubt that that was the truth, thought she would never admit that aloud. "Regardless, I'm trying to take things slow and make sure they work, cause if they don't I'm pretty sure I'd be devastated."
"What happened to 'we've only been dating for five minutes,' hm?" Elena stated, and Mika winced at having her own words turned back on her.
"Well played." she replied, once again at a loss for words. Elena laughed haughtily, picking up her empty glass and giving Mika a kiss on the cheek.
"I'm very happy for you, darling. And things are going to work out splendidly, you'll see." she said with the unwavering confidence of a best friend. Mika smiled at her, and she threw her a wink before turning to head where the others were congregating by Hans. She should get up, she thought. She should go over there with them instead of just staring from afar like a creeper. But she liked seeing Bucky smile and interact with her friends. He had come so far since she met him all those months ago, and every day he seemed more comfortable in his own skin, and happy to be here, and with her. He made eye contact with her then, barely twitching his eyebrow as he smiled at her before his attention was once again claimed by Nicolae. Mika's heart stuttered at the small interaction; oh yea, she had it bad.
Alexei dropped into the seat in front of her, thoroughly startling her. She blinked a few times to bring him into focus, taking in his lazy grin and his confident posture. Oh no. She did not like this at all.
"Hey, Alexei, what's up?" she asked innocently. From across the pub, she could feel Bucky's eyes on her, but she put on the most easy smile she could muster.
"I have a question for you." he replied. Oh no. Oh no no no. She tried to think of any way to avoid this conversation the way she had for the past two years, but it seemed that her luck had run out. She searched for any excuse she could think of, but all of them flew from her mind as he rested his hand on hers. She felt chills go up her arm, and not in a good way.
"Alexei, I don't think-" she tried to stop him, tried to let him down gently before he did something that might end up uncomfortable for the both of them, but he didn't heed her. He was determined.
"No, listen. We've been dancing around this for a long time." he said, as if he were trying to be poetic. Mika thought he was just coming off as pretentious. She tried to pull her hand away slowly, but he curled his fingers around hers in an attempt to be tender. Funny, Bucky was the trained assassin, and yet somehow his touch was infinitely more gentle.
"Have we?" she deadpanned. She wanted this conversation to be over. Actually, she didn't want it to happen at all.
"I think we would be good together. I really like you, and I know you like me too. And I think it's time we give this a shot." he said, undeterred by her body language and subtle attempts. He gestured between them with his free hand, and Mika noticed that he actually hadn't asked anything, he had just told her what he thought they should do. That was enough to snap her patience, and she pulled her hand roughly from his. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Bucky perking up, ready to intervene if needed. But she was confident now that she could fight her own battles.
"I don't agree with you." she said, short and to the point. Alexei looked offended and confused, and instead of feeling sorry for him, she just felt annoyed. She had been dropping hints the whole time that she did not have romantic feelings for him; it was time for her to be blatant.
"What? Why not?" he exclaimed, affronted. Mika stared at him for a moment, wondering if he could actually be this delusional. Or perhaps he was just optimistic. She tried to be positive, though that was quickly waning as well.
"Well, I don't like you in that way." she said, saying it in no uncertain terms so that they would not have to have this discussion again. "And also, I happen to be with someone. Someone I care for very deeply."
"What the fuck? Who?" he demanded, and before she could stop herself her gaze slid over to Bucky. He was still staring at them, his gaze cold and calculating from under the bill of his baseball cap. Nicolae was still chattering about something, but all his attention was on them. Alexei followed her eyes, scoffing as he looked back to her. "Bucky? Seriously?"
"Yes, seriously." she said, anger blooming in her chest at the vague implication. Bucky was the best man she knew, and she would defend him to her grave.
"But he's so weird. And creepy. Seriously, Mika, what the fuck?" Alexei said, and she could almost see a green tint to his eyes. Jealousy was always her least favorite quality in a partner.
"No, he's not. I don't have to justify anything to you. But for the record, I'm very happy with him." she said, feeling defensive. She didn't owe him an explanation, but she still felt the need to give one, even if it was very brief.
"There's something seriously wrong with him." he said darkly, making Mika bristle. He didn't know what Bucky had been through, the things he'd endured. Alexei was a spoiled brat who wasn't used to hearing the word no, and Mika was tired of it.
"Stop talking about him like that." she said calmly, trying to maintain her composure even though he was getting all worked up. He rolled his eyes, acting like she was the one who was in the wrong here.
"Mika, come on, you can do so much better!" he said, shamelessly gesturing to himself. Mika shook her head, sliding off the stool and grabbing her purse.
"Even if I were single, I would still tell you no." she finally said, pushing past him before he could respond. She thought after Dominic she was done with men trying to control her, but it seemed Alexei had to get one last shot in. She moved next to Bucky, tucking herself under his arm and seamlessly joining into his conversation with Nicolae. She heard the front door close as Alexei left the pub, and she finally let out a sigh of relief.
"Everything alright?" Bucky asked lowly, his lips right next to her ear. His tone suggested that he would be willing to start a fight, if she wanted. But she didn't want that. She just wanted to be with him.
"Just fine. I'll tell you about it later." she said, smiling brightly at him. Just the little bit of affection and concern were enough to calm her from the earlier interaction, though she was still annoyed when she thought about it. He nodded, pulling her just a little bit closer.
"Do you still want to stay? Or head home?" he asked softly, just as Elena sprung into existence next to them.
"Jonas and Maria are at a club downtown, said that drinks are half price and that there's some DJ performing. You all in?" she asked, gesturing at the lot of them. Mika nearly sighed in relief; this would be the perfect excuse to part ways.
"Absolutely!" Nicolae said, slapping her hand in a high five. The two of them looked expectantly at Mika, and Bucky was silent as he waited for her response. She noticed he had grown very still, and knew he absolutely did not want to go. And frankly, neither did she.
"No, I think we'll just head back. Those things always give me a headache." she said. It was a lame excuse, she knew, but she didn't care. Besides, it was true, and a night on the couch with Bucky sounded much more fun than a night in a cramped club, sweating to music that felt like it was hammering her skull. Elena stuck her tongue out at her before laughing.
"Alright, old lady. I'll see you soon." she said, kissing both her cheeks and one of Bucky's. Nicolae grinned at them before following Elena out of the pub. Mika felt bad for not hanging out with her friend longer, especially given that she hadn't seen her in a couple of weeks, but they both knew that was just how life went sometimes. She turned to Bucky to find a grin on his face.
"Home then?" he asked, and even if he'd called their building that a hundred times, and even if they didn't actually live together, she still liked the way it sounded coming out of his mouth. She couldn't stop her smile, her hand reaching down to squeeze his.
"Home it is." she said, liking the way he was looking at her. He nodded, removing his hand from her grasp only to place it on her low back.
"Go grab your coat then. Just gotta lock up the kitchen and I'll be right out." he said , letting his touch linger for a second before he pulled away from her. She watched him for a second as he snaked through the pub before going to the coat rack and pulling on her heavy coat and gloves. She waited until she saw him exit the kitchen door before stepping outside into the cold winter night. A few breaths later, Bucky exited, holding his hand out to her and letting her intertwine their fingers before he tucked their hands into his jacket pocket. She told him all about the conversation between her and Alexei as they walked back home, and he dutifully listened to her dramatic explanation, complete with her extra commentary.
"Ugh. He's just so annoying." she finished with a frustrated groan, and he chuckled lowly at her theatrics. "Don't laugh! I was defending my honor! And yours!"
"And I appreciate that. Though he was right, there are many things wrong with me." he pointed out with an impish smirk. Mika jabbed him in the ribs with her elbow, not appreciating the self deprecating humor.
"False. You're amazing." she said, leaving no room for argument. She paused as they reached the door to the apartment building, tugging him close so she could press a cold kiss to his lips. His whole body softened at the contact, and he barely hesitated before leaning into it. When he pulled back, she was smiling.
"As long as you think so." he said, and he meant it. Sure, it was nice to have friends again. But the only one who really mattered was Mika. She pulled him towards the door, digging her keys from her pocket so she could scan in and they could begin the long trek, hand in hand, to the top floor.
"Want to come in? Watch a movie?" she asked, unlocking her door and pausing in the opening. Of course, his training still whispered in the back of his mind, telling him not to. But he didn't hear it. Instead he just heard the music playing from the speaker in her kitchen as her phone automatically connected. He just saw the welcoming smile on her face and the warm glow of her apartment.
"Let me shower first, then I'll join you." he replied, nodding towards his own door. He needed to wash all the scents of work off of him, so that maybe he could hold her close as they watched, if she let him.
"Sounds perfect. Door will be open." she replied, peeling off her coat as she fully stepped into her apartment and went to put the kettle on the stove. It was nice to be back in the warmth and comfort of home, and she gladly changed out of her jeans and blouse and into cozier clothes. As she pulled on her thick winter socks and pulled her hair into a messy pile on top of her head, she realized she wasn't exactly dressing to impress. But besides their date nights, Mika never felt she had to. Sure, she wanted Bucky to think she was pretty, but he had this insane ability to make her feel beautiful even when she wasn't all dolled up. She paused, wondering if she needed to change into something a little nicer, something a little more flattering, but she was interrupted by her front door opening.
"You know, you should keep that locked." Bucky said, shutting the door behind him. Even though she'd told him the door would be open, he didn't like the idea of her not being safe. She grinned, going to pull the steaming kettle from the stovetop and filling the waiting mugs.
"Well how else are you supposed to get in? Unless you wanna pick the lock every time." she said, mixing sugar into her mug before taking them to the coffee table. She was then struck by an idea, holding up her finger to signal him to wait while she went and dug through the drawer of her bedside table. There, at the back, was the envelope from when she first moved in, and the spare key still stuck inside it. She held it in her hand for a second, wondering if this was moving too fast, but decided that if it was too bold then she could trust Bucky to be honest with her. She padded back to the living room to find him already on the couch, cup of tea in hand and an intense look of concentration on his face as he scrolled through their watch list, analyzing the synopsis of each choice. She held the key out to him. "There, now you don't have to worry."
"Are you sure?" he asked quietly, and she answered by holding the key closer to him until he carefully plucked it from her fingers. She smiled then, settling next to him on the couch and leaning against his shoulder.
"Completely sure." she said, tucking her legs underneath her and giving him a serious look. There was no one she trusted more than him, and even if they'd only been together a couple of weeks, she still felt confident in this. In fact, now that she thought about it, she was surprised she hadn't given him a key earlier. "Besides, now if you want to sneak in first thing in the morning to bring me breakfast in bed, you have the means."
"Ah, there it is." he said, rolling his eyes and grabbing her knee, his fingertips finding a ticklish spot. She wriggled under his grasp, grabbing his hand and intertwining their fingers to stave off any further attacks. He was grinning at her then, and she leaned forward for a brief kiss before going back to the task at hand and choosing a movie for them to watch. His hand stayed on her leg, but now it was just resting in a comforting manner, and she could feel the warmth of his skin even through her leggings. With her tea in her hands and her cheek on his shoulder, she found herself very comfortable indeed.
Bucky also felt very comfortable, which surprised him. He was always waiting for the second shoe to drop, waiting for the moment when either everything would fall apart or he would wake up from this most fantastic dream. But he'd decided that he needed to try and enjoy the present, and not fret about the future or get held up by his past. It was a slow process that he was still practicing, going against literally decades worth of training. He tried to focus on the positives: he was happy with Mika, and she seemed to be happy with him. Their movie nights had started off so formal, with respectable distance between them and near silence as they watched. Now, she was curled up against him, and they were sharing both gentle, affectionate touches as well as snarky jokes about the film. He never thought he'd reach this place again, and as he looked at the woman next to him he couldn't help but feel grateful for whatever piece of the universe decided that they could have this.
He placed a kiss to the top of her head, taking in her beautiful smile that she gave before settling back against him. She'd never know how lucky he felt.
My cute little angels! I hope y'all are enjoying the easy fluff, cause I certainly am. I know I keep saying this, but there's still a little bit of drama and happiness left before we hit CACW. Considering it took us, what, 36 chapters to get together, does anyone doubt that it'll take me a minute to get to the real action? :P
Apologies for taking so long to update! I was out of the country for a couple weeks, so it was a little difficult to write. The next chapter is almost finished as well, so I might try and update before next Sunday if that's something y'all are into.
As always, thank you so so so much for all the amazing feedback! I seriously cherish each and every review, and I love love love to hear what y'all think about these two nerds. Please let me know what you thought about this chapter, and thank you for reading!
-XM