Amy waits, frozen in place, in front of the door to Roger Peralta's apartment.
Now that she's actually here, she doesn't think this is such a good idea anymore. If Jake knew where she went, he'd probably be mad at her.
Well, if he still had the energy to be, that is. And if he had, she wouldn't be here at all. This is her last and only option.
Her heart clenches in her chest at the thought of her colleague and friend. The image of him lying in a hospital bed with a face as pale as she's ever seen him strikes back into her mind. She couldn't even tell him she was leaving – he was sleeping when she left his side for the first time in days to search for his father. The doctors said he needed the rest so she didn't wake him up.
She simply squeezed his hand in hers and kissed his forehead before she stood up from her very uncomfortable chair. She went out of the room without a look back.
She was tired of waiting uselessly for a kidney donor. She hadto do something – anything – to try and help Jake before it's too late. She couldn't watch the life slowly draw away from his body.
Damn his fucked up drinking habits… Who the hell neverever drinks water?!
Amy takes a deep breath, chases the depressing thoughts away and eventually knocks. Her hand is shaking – she throws it inside her pocket as she fights against the anxiety she can sense is building up in her core. It's getting stronger with every new second passing by without a sound coming from the other side of the door. Impatient, she tries again, and again, pounding harder on the wood each time.
There are tears forming in her eyes she has to contain inside.
Thankfully, after almost a full minute, someone opens to her and Amy finds herself face-to-face with Roger. His hair is messy with a few strands falling in funny places and his eyes are drowsy as if he's just woken up from a nap. His shirt isn't even fully closed and if she looked down, she could see his zipper is open too.
Instead of feeling relieved that he's home, the sight somehow makes Amy furious. Her hand clenches into a fist inside her pocket and her nails dig in her palm.
How can the man be taking naps when his own son is dying?! She hasn't properly slept – not even at night – for daysnow. And she knows she won't get any true rest until her friend is safe and sound.
He doesn't know about Jake,she tries to remind herself and calm down a little. Fatigue makes her overreact.
"Hello?" Roger's voice takes her out of her reverie. He's staring at her with a confused frown. Amy closes her eyes for a second to regain some composure before she lays them back on him.
"Hi, I'm Amy Santiago. One of Jake's colleagues from the NYPD." She introduces herself. Roger's frown deepens at the mention of his son's name.
"Jake? I thought he didn't want to have anything to do with me anymore. Why are you here?"
"Can I… come in?" Amy asks. This is definitely not a conversation they should be having on a doorstep.
Roger steps aside and guides her to the kitchen. There, he offers her to sit and something to drink. Amy takes a sip of her beverage then clears her throat to gather some courage.
She goes straight to the point of her impromptu visit. "Jake's sick," she informs his father of the detective's condition.
Her heart sinks with the words and she has to fight back tears again.
"Very sick."
"Oh." Roger doesn't know what else to say – he clearly wasn't expecting such news. He only waits for more details.
"He needs a kidney transplant. Fast.And we haven't found any donor yet. Plus it's always better if the donor's genetically related with the person in need…"
"I'll do it." Roger cuts her in the middle of her ramblings. It takes Amy off guard. She watches him in silence for a while – there's not a hint of hesitation in the man's eyes. It's rather startling – she hasn't even askedthe question yet. She'd also made a whole binder full of arguments and researches she's made about kidney transplants to convince him to do it, persuaded he'd say no in the first place.
(In another situation, she'd be disappointed she didn't get the chance to show off her work.)
Who could blame her for arriving with such preconceptions, though? From what Jake told her – from what she got from only time she met the man – he didn't seem to care so much about his son. To the point that the detective simply and completely cut him out of his life. Hence her fear of him reacting badly if he knew she's getting Roger involved in this.
She doesn't have another choice or any better idea, she tries to tell herself.
Mr. Peralta seems to read the surprise inside Amy's eyes because he quickly goes on with a sigh.
"I know I've never been a great father to Jake and I should have been a lot more there for him and his mother in the past. But he's still my son. I'm not gonna let him die if I can prevent it."
"Thank you. Thank you so much."
Amy can't retain her tears any longer – they're flowing along her cheeks. She knows it's not the end of the nightmare – there's still a chance the man won't be compatible even if he's willing to try. And then so many other things could go wrong during the surgery. But still, she doesn't want to think about this right now. It's finally a step forward they're taking.
"Can I ask you something?"
Amy and Roger are on their way to the hospital when the man finally breaks the silence that had fallen upon them soon after they left his apartment.
"Mmhmm," Amy nods without looking away from the road ahead.
"I know this is none of my business. But are you and Jake… together?"
The woman's grip on the wheel tightens and she pauses for a second at the question. She genuinely doesn't know what to answer. There's been some kind of history between the two of them for a while – developing feelings for the other in turns. And, though they've talked about it and came to the conclusion that they were just friends, learning about Jake's disease definitely shook things up again.
She's spent a lot of time by his side since he got admitted to the hospital – more than any of his friends or members of his family. And in those dark hours, they've become closer than ever.
Jake even told her he loved her, the previous night. But she didn't say it back. She was too afraid it was the morphine talking – but she'd be lying if she'd say she didn't have feelings for him as well.
The way she gets sick to her stomach at the mere thought of possibly losing him is enough proof of that. The fact that she's been driving miles for a way to save him too.
She didkiss him, though. Or at least, let him kiss her when he asked if it would be okay if he did. And she surely wishes for a possible future together deep inside, once he's back on his feet.
Because it's all they should focus on right now. For him to get better.
"I hope we will," she only answers then.
The rest of the ride is spent in silence until they finally reach the hospital. Amy immediately calls Jake's doctors to let them know of Roger's presence. The man is taken away to run some tests and see if he could be considered for a transplant while the detective rushes towards her colleague's room. She's been away for no more than just a few hours but she already misses him.
Plus he must be wondering where she went.
Jake's wide awake when she enters, his gaze fixed on the TV. She pauses at the entrance for a beat and studies him. His silhouette has gone so much paler and thinner in so short. The lively sparkle inside his eyes has gone too. He looks like a shadow of himself and isn't getting better – quite the opposite. Amy prays Roger will be able to help.
"Ames! Where were you? I got so scared when I woke up and you weren't there." Jake turns and intently stares at her when he finally hears her come in.
She walks towards the bed and takes her sit back by his side. She holds his hand in both of hers. She shoots him a shy smile as she unconsciously starts stroking the back of his hand with her thumb.
"I'm sorry. I had to take care of something." Amy explicitly stays vague. She doesn't want to tell him the truth just yet – not when she's not sure her plan is going to work. Jake doesn't need to get his hopes up or know she tracked down his father and brought him here so that he could give him a kidney if it's for nothing in the end.
He already has enough in his plate.
"How you feeling?" She doesn't let him ask more questions and changes topics. Jake doesn't even try to argue – he's too tired for that.
He shrugs but manages a reassuring smile at her. He squeezes back her hands with his.
"Always better when you're here."
"I'm not going anywhere," she promises. Her own smile doesn't quite reach her eyes.
Please let Roger be able to help…
They talk for a little longer until they sink into complete silence. Amy watches over Jake when he closes his eyes, their fingers still intertwined together. She misses how his voice used to always fill a room. His incapacity to shut up tended to annoy her before but now she'd be willing to give away anything to have this back. She'd listen to all the stories he has to share with a newfound interest and attention.
She makes a note inside her mind that she'll never tune him off again if he gets better.
Whenhe gets better, she immediately corrects herself. She won't lose him. She can'tlose him.
Amy doesn't know how many hours they spend like this until a doctor comes in and interrupts them in their quietness. The sound of the door opening as he enters the room wakes Jake up. The doctor has a file in his hands and a cheerful grin on his face that make the woman's heart jump in her chest despite her attempts at not getting her hopes up too soon. This might mean nothing at all.
"Good news!" He looks at the both of them, his smile never faltering, not even a little. If anything, it only grows brighter. "The tests all came back conclusive. You've got yourself a kidney donor, Mr. Peralta."
It's all it takes for Amy to release all of the tension she was keeping in her body and let out a sigh of relief. She turns to look at her friend with a newfound happiness – weirdly enough, he looks more confused and skeptical than thrilled.
"What tests? I thought you already tested all of my friends and family who were willing to be a donor and no-one matched?"
"Someone else came by today. Mr. Roger Peralta, your father?"
Jake's eyes grow bigger and more startled at the mention of the man.
"How did he…? Why is he…?" He's so in shock he can barely put up two words next to one another. His gaze switches towards Amy – his expression is full of questions.
She finally and sheepishly explains everything to him. "Please don't be mad at me. But the reason I left earlier? It's because I went to see him. I couldn't stand to do nothing and watch you get worse without being able to help. I know you didn't want to have anything to do with him anymore and I should have asked you first, I'm sorry, but…"
The next words get stuck in her throat. She lowers her gaze, unable to meet his at the moment.
"Mad at you?" Jake's voice is strangely soft when he talks again. He takes his hand out of her grip and brings it to her face, gently putting a strand of hair behind her ear before letting it rest on her cheek. He forces her to look up and stare into his eyes as he speaks. "How can I ever be mad at you? Ames, you just saved my life." He smiles.
The way he looks at her, so sincere and full of something that could be considered to be adoration helps her relax and she smiles back.
"Actually, your father will." She can't help but correct him though. If the transplant works,she thinks but doesn't say.
"I just…" Jake starts, then stops in the middle of his sentence. "Can you give us a minute, please?" He turns to the doctor, who nods his approval.
"Of course."
Jake waits until they're alone again to put his eyes back on his friend. They're literally glowing and piercing through Amy's core as he studies her face – the intensity of it makes her blush.
They also look more alive than they've ever been ever since his health started failing him.
"Ames, you're so amazing." He starts again. She can feel her ears and cheeks and neck burn harder as her skin colors a new shade of red. "I don't know how I could thank you. And not only for this. For sticking up with me the whole time – I would have lost it if it weren't for you."
A first tear rolls down Amy's cheek with the sincerity of her colleague's speech. Her heat is pounding in her chest.
"Just get better. That's all I need."
Jake offers her a small smile in return. He brushes the salty pearl away with the hand still on her face and it makes Amy shiver at the soft touch. They stare at each other in silence for a while, until Jake leans over and gets closer. Amy meets him halfway in a tender, yet eager kiss.
"I meant what I said yesterday," he whispers when they part and he puts his gaze back on her.
She's too overwhelmed by everything that's happening to say anything back right away, but it doesn't matter – as the transplant works and Jake ends up on his feet with Amy by his side each step of the way to a full recovery, the two of them finally get a lifetime to tell and show the other how much they care about each other.