Chapter 68: Not The Time

"Mika, you're pregnant."

The world went silent, and the only thing she heard was the words rolling around in her head. You're pregnant. But how did that happen? Well, she knew the mechanics of how it happened but...her hand went to her arm, feeling the little plastic rod that her doctor had given her years ago for birth control. It was supposed to last for five years, wasn't it? So she should be good until…

She counted backwards, remembering when she got it exactly. No, she didn't have nine more months with it. It had expired three months ago. And like an idiot, she'd completely forgotten about it. Lwazi was still talking, though she only heard bits and pieces of what he was saying. Something about very early and only five weeks, the words echoing in one ear and out the other. This was supposed to be good new, happy news. She should be crying, telling Bucky, celebrating. They actually could have kids, together, if they wanted to. She glanced over to her husband, but he still stared straight ahead as if he were trying to hear the conversation they were having down at the border. What would he say, if he knew? She opened her mouth to tell him, but Steve, T'Challa, and Natasha all turned around, beginning their return to the lines. It was too late now.

"Thank you, Lwazi." she said instead, keeping her voice even. It was easier than she expected, likely due to the fact that her heart had completely stopped. What was she supposed to do? It didn't even seem real, if she was honest. She subtly ran her hand over her stomach; there wasn't any sort of bulge, it was still just as flat as usual. Perhaps the doctor was wrong? They couldn't tell things this early, right?

"Everything okay?" Bucky asked, once again just looking at her out of the corner of his eye. Her blood ran cold, but she forced herself to calm down. Now was not the time. The world was literally ending, right in front of them. So she nodded, regaining the trust in her voice.

"Soon as this is over, it's bed rest, medication, and you making me soup." she replied. It wasn't technically a lie, she supposed. It just wasn't the whole truth. He stared at her a moment longer, and she wondered if he could sense her equivocation. But she stared ahead, purposefully keeping her eyes on their friends until they were right next to them.

"They surrender?" Bucky asked as Steve got back into line with them. He gave a tired sigh.

"Not exactly." Steve replied. Weird creatures began spilling out of the obelisk, their snarls sounding even from this far away. What the hell? T'Challa began leading the war chants of Wakanda, and even if she was not Wakandan, they still served to lift her spirits and garner her courage. She was surrounded by warriors, and it was time for her to be one too. She shoved what she just learned out of her mind; pregnant or not, it would not matter if she didn't make it off of this battlefield. She couldn't turn away now, even though she knew Bucky would be furious if he knew. The enemy was here, and it was time to fight.

The creatures started running, a loping gait on all fours like mutated dogs. "What the hell?" Bucky said, for once not hiding an ounce of what he was feeling. Mika couldn't help but agree, though her voice was caught in her chest. Instead, she gripped her sword tighter, stamping her feet to wake them up after standing in one spot for so long.

"Looks like we pissed her off." Natasha said, no laughter meeting her remark. The aliens slammed into the barrier, attacking it with an animalistic ferocity that Mika wasn't prepared for. They were able to break through bits and pieces of the wall, but it immediately reformed around them, severing limbs like a hot knife through butter. A change in the breeze brought the scent of burning flesh up to them, making her stomach roll. God, this really was the end of the world, wasn't it?

The beasts didn't care about pain, a few of them making it through with missing body parts and burnt skin, galloping towards them at tremendous speed. T'Challa called the soldiers to order, the front lines raising their shields and the spearmen launching blue blasts at the oncoming monsters. Bucky raised his gun, training his eye through the sight and firing in short bursts, grounding any beast that had the misfortune of coming into his crosshairs. Sam and Not Iron Man came blasting through from above, taking more out before they could even make it as far in as their counterparts. Mika's grip was sweaty on her sword, but she was ready. The beasts were big, and could run fast, but they weren't agile. She was. Bucky had told her on multiple occasions that that was her biggest weapon; things can't harm what they can't catch.

She tried to hold on to that positive fact as one by one, more aliens broke through the barrier. This made her nervous, for more than just the obvious reason. If they were getting in here, what was to stop them from getting in other parts of the city?

"Cap, if these things circle the perimeter and get in behind us, there's nothing between them and Vision." the man who usually was The Hulk voiced her unspoken concerns, his tone strangely metallic from inside the massive red mecha suit he had.

"Then we better keep 'em in front of us." Steve stated. She did not like the sound of that at all.

"How do we do that?" Okoye said, her voice barely loud enough for Mika to hear. She chanced a glance at the King, her veins turning to lead as he said exactly what she was afraid of.

"We open the barrier." he said, resigned. This was not how this fight was supposed to go, but it's what they had to do to protect those in the lab. He put his finger to his comm, telling whoever was on the other side which section to open. Mika's fingers shook on the sword, and she gripped it tighter, trying to still her muscles.

"You go for the kill, okay?" Bucky said, his voice stern. She nodded. He was right, this wasn't sparring for fun, it was now fighting for their lives. She wanted to take one last moment, to hold him, to kiss him, to tell him she loved him. But she couldn't, not now. T'Challa gave the signal, the soldiers dropping their shields. With one last battle cry, they took off at a sprint towards the edge of the dome, and one sliver of barrier faded away.

Then, all hell broke loose.

When Mika was a kid, her father had bought all three of them foam swords and sent them out into the backyard to play. Nicoletta quickly lost interest, instead opting to be the princess for whom her sisters were fighting. Mika and Raisa took turns being the evil witch and the brave sibling knight, come to reclaim her sister's honor. The battles were always grueling and rough and epic, the two of them fighting much more tenaciously than any of the boys in their neighborhood. Their mother always lamented the bruises and cuts they had afterwards, but they didn't care. They just smiled at each other and basked in Nicoletta's dramatic retellings over supper.

This fight was nothing like that.

Bucky had told her to go for the kill, and she definitely did. The sword Shuri had given her was sharp and dense, the nanites cutting into the aliens as if they were nothing. They were massive, even bigger than she anticipated, but that meant she was able to get underneath them and drive the sword into their bellies. The first one scared her, as she drove her sword in to the hilt and proceeded to get it stuck. Blind panic gripped her for a moment as she realized this was it, she was going to lose her weapon and be done for in less than a second. But she gripped the handle hard as the monster fell over, the end of it finally loosening from whatever bone she'd stuck it into and sliding out with a disgusting squelch.

So, avoid bones. Good thing to learn. She filed it away, taking her sword and driving it into another one as it ran by. She could hear the steady pop-pop-pop-pop-pop of Bucky's gun close by, reassuring her that he was still alive, still fighting. She stayed close to him, as instructed, covering his blind spots and trying to keep the slower prowlers away. But then they started to see what was going on, a few smarter ones realizing what was happening and forming a circle around them. Mika stood with her back against Bucky's, her sword and shield at the ready, mirroring his movements as he shot them one by one. His efforts were in vain, as another one filled the spot every time he took one down.

"You know," she said, yelling over the sound of the bedlam around them. "My skirt can shoot knives if I spin very dramatically."

"And you waited until now to tell me this?" Bucky called back, still methodically taking the aliens out one by one. "Count of three."

"Better make sure you're below my waistline." she said, thinking of his safety. She could have sworn she heard a brief, dry chuckle at the possibilities for a lewd joke, but Bucky refrained.

"One, two, three!" he yelled, dropping down to one knee. Mika didn't even think, turning on her heel until she felt the feathers of her skirt vibrate as it released the v-shaped projectiles. They were even more effective than she originally thought, the points going straight through the aliens and letting loose an electric charge, taking them down. That was a new feature.

She was dizzy when she stopped, the area around them open for a few minutes. She tried to catch her breath, looking down at Bucky as he returned to his full height. He put a hand on her shoulder, steadying her as she focused on his eyes.

"That was impressive." he said, smirking. The world finally stopped spinning, and she took a long breath.

"I don't think I should do it again though." she said, her stomach still rolling. That's when the thought came back, that there might be another reason for her nausea. Bucky looked at her seriously, as if he knew she had a secret. But he didn't ask anything.

"No, you shouldn't." he agreed. His eyes flitted up, and he shoved her behind him, raising his gun and taking out a coming alien. And just like that, they were back in it. Bolstered with a little more confidence, Mika widened her radius, trying to help their nearby allies as best she could. The sounds of Bucky's gun were a reassuring staccato in the background, telling her his relative position, and that he was still alive. Keep going. One more. Take down one more.

Then, suddenly, the popping stop. She turned to see Bucky on his back, his gun out of reach, and an alien on top of him. He was barely holding it back with his metal arm, the other hand sinking a knife into its neck over and over. She ran over to him, climbing up the back of the alien and driving her sword into it. It immediately stopped fighting, rolling off of Bucky and nearly taking her down in the process. She barely regained her balance and jogged to him, offering a hand to pull him up.

"Alright there, Barnes?" she asked, pretending that this wasn't the scariest thing she'd ever done in her entire life, as if this whole thing wasn't a nightmare.

"Never better." he said, picking up his gun and immediately shooting an alien behind her. Her ears rang from the close position, but she barely winced.

"Good. Cause I don't wanna kill you." she said. He rolled his eyes, but before he could comment, she was running past him, taking on her next opponent. She felt like all her senses were turned to eleven, and if she didn't have so many things she needed to focus on, it would have overwhelmed her. As it was, it seemed to help.

God it was tiring fighting like this, and she wasn't even in the thick of it. She knew her strengths, knew what she needed to do. She let the more experienced soldiers go up, and she took on those that went around them, keeping them from moving into their blind sides. The stream of enemies was slow (relatively) but steady, and she was barely able to pull her weapon from one before she was having to sling it at another. A big one reared itself in front of her, too tall for her to sink the blade into it as it slashed its four arms at her. She dodged one that was coming for her head, but that allowed another to slice her in the leg. She let out a cry and sunk to a knee, her leg spasming with the tear in the muscles. The monster landed, regarding her with a toothy grin. That's when she noticed how her gauntlets were glowing, the purple racing around them. Before it could eat her in one gulp, she slammed her wrists together, the resulting energy taking out her current enemy and several of its comrades. She put her hands on the ground, taking a breather now that she'd cleared the immediate area.

"You okay?" Bucky said, appearing beside her. She looked up and gave him a smile, trying not to gasp for breath.

"Never better." she said. He didn't smile back, only shook his head.

"Get up then, Barnes, we're not done yet." he said, putting a hand under her arm and hauling her to her feet.

"Sir yes sir." she said, saluting him. He rolled his eyes and grinned then, pulling his gun back up and continuing the fight. The enemies were coming faster now, overwhelming them. Bucky was turning and shooting, and she was swinging her sword as fast as she could, but they didn't have the time for accuracy. They were just holding back the flood. Mika's hope began to wane at this point. There was no way they could keep up with this, no way they could take them all out. They were going to overrun them. They were going to lose.

Then, a great energy dropped from the sky, its brilliant colors blinding anyone who looked to close and stunning all of the monsters. Mika and Bucky stopped and stared as the light cleared, leaving a large blonde man, a tree man, and a raccoon.

"Is that...Thor?" Mika asked. He'd been gone for so long, she'd wondered if all that news footage was just made up, doctored by SHIELD to give people hope. But there he was, in all his glory, with his eyes glowing and a massive axe in his hand, crackling with electricity.

"Fucking finally." Bucky said. He only had vague notions of who the man was, but he was definitely needed at this time. They watched as he ran towards the barrier, the sky going dark as he leaped, pulling lightning from every available source and sending it into the chest of any nearby enemy. That was all the encouragement they needed to keep going.

She lost track of what was going on. All she heard was the sound of the melee around her, and all she cared about was taking down aliens and checking to make sure Bucky was still there. "Guys, we got a Vision situation here." Sam's voice crackled over the comms. She looked up, watching as two men tumbled from the lab tower. Oh no. Vision was the one they were supposed to protect, right? The one that had a stone? "Somebody get to Vision!" That was Steve, calling for reinforcements. Mika looked to Bucky, but he was still focused on the enemies in front of him. "I got him!" "On my way!" Mika couldn't name these voices, but she recognized the sounds of them being his right after speaking.

"Bucky!" she called, taking off at a run towards the trees where Vision had fallen. She wasn't sure how he heard her over the sounds of the battle, but he nodded and soon fell into step beside her. It was far, really far, but if they could make it, if there was a chance that they could help, they had to try. They ran by their house, their lawn covered in alien bodies and half of the house caved in. Mika paused, looking at the wreckage, but Bucky pulled her to keep going. He didn't have to say it out loud: if anything had happened to Luna, there was nothing that they could do for her right now. But Vision, they could help. In the distance, they heard another explosion, and slowed just enough so they could turn and see one of the obelisks erupting into flame, blue sparks telling them who got the credit for taking it down. Maybe, just maybe, they were winning.

It was quiet as they ducked into the trees, weirdly quiet. Bucky held an arm out, stopping her run. Now that they were walking, her muscles were screaming at her, her ribs feeling stiff as she attempted to regain her breath. As the adrenaline faded, the slice in her leg starting hurting worse, and she looked down to see her entire leg painted red. She couldn't take in all the details that Bucky no doubt could, but she still could feel the tension in the air. Something was wrong. Something was very, very wrong.

"Everyone on my position. We have incoming." Steve. They were close enough that they heard his voice in time with the comm. Bucky still held her back in the trees, trying to assess the situation before they got involved. Sam was with him, as well as Natasha, T'Challa, and Okoye. The Hulk suit clicked as he shifted his weight side to side, and the grey Iron Man was like a statue. She stayed remarkably still and quiet, her eyes flying everywhere as she tried to see what was going on. Incoming? Something else was incoming?

Turns out it was not a something, but a someone. A portal opened up, the air crackling with other-worldly energy as someone ripped through space and stepped into their world. A behemoth of a man, if he could be called a man, stepped out, looking over them as if he pitied their existence. If he wasn't so utterly terrifying, she might have laughed at his odd purple skin, or the way his head seemed weirdly small for his body. But she couldn't laugh. She couldn't speak. She could barely even breathe.

Thanos. She'd heard the name in passing, moreso in the past few hours than the rest of her life combined. This was the big bad guy, the one they'd been worried about. The one that wanted to wipe out entire civilizations. And now he was here. She could feel her limbs shaking, whether from the exhaustion or fear or both, she didn't know. Wanda stood first, her hands and eyes glowing red as she eyed him. But even she looked scared. They all looked scared.

Hulk made the first move, running towards him with a battle cry. Thanos only raised his hand, and the massive red suit phased right through him, settling embedded into the stone mountainside behind him. Steve jumped in next, and Mika let out an audible cry as purple energy surrounded him and he was tossed aside like a rag doll. T'Challa leapt at him, but Thanos easily caught him by the throat, punching him so hard that he left a crater in the ground where he landed. Though Sam flew in with speed and bullets, it meant nothing, his wings and guns disappearing with a flick of the Titan's wrist. Behind them all, Mika saw the red energy flowing from Wanda's hand, taking the stone out of the Vision's forehead. Grey Iron Man launched everything he had at him, but it meant nothing. Thanos crushed his suit like a can and tossed him aside. Bucky looked to her; they were the nearest, they had to try. He took off at a run, unloading his clip at Thanos, Mika right behind him. A clench of his fist, and he was knocked aside. Mika leapt over him, crossing her wrists and breaking the X, sending whatever energy she had at him. He barely flinched as it hit him, and soon she felt the bone crushing energy grab her roughly around the middle and toss her next to Bucky.

She didn't know what happened after that. The sounds of whatever was going on around her were muffled by the pain coursing through her entire body. She knew her face was in the dirt, but she didn't care. It hurt to breathe too deeply anyway. Part of her mind told her to get up, to keep trying, to not stop. But she was tired, and broken, and she wasn't sure how much longer she could go on. She had no regrets of staying out with Bucky; if she was going to die, she was going to die with him. She could feel him next to her, recovering faster than she was. Suddenly she was on her back, looking up at the sky. Yet somehow, it still wasn't any easier to breathe.

"Meeks." his voice sounded far away. "Mika!" That one sounded closer.

"I'm okay." she wheezed. Is this what broken ribs felt like? It had to be. He put his hand on her head, smoothing her hair away. Her skin felt slick - was it sweat? Or blood?

"You'll be okay." he agreed. His face was coming into focus now. He looked tired too. She reached up for his hand, letting him pull her into a seated position. As soon as she was up, a wave of energy crashed around them, sending them both back to the ground. It was silent again after this, and for a moment she couldn't even hear the sound of her own breathing. She rolled over, pushing up to her hands and knees. Whatever that energy was, hopefully that meant this was over.

Bucky sat up next to her, tugging her to her feet. As soon as she was upright, she double over, clutching her abdomen. She couldn't stop the cry of pain, her knuckles growing white as she gripped the rough fabric of his uniform.

"What is it? Where are you hurt?" he asked. He sounded frantic, moreso than she'd ever heard before. He tugged her hand aside, but there was no visible injury. The pain was deep, incredibly deep.

"I think...I might be…" she gasped the words out. Should she admit this to him? Tell him? Would it be worse for him to know? He looked at her, his blue eyes shining with concern. He trusted her implicitly. She had to tell the truth. "...miscarrying."

"What?" his voice was soft as the implications of the one word settled in his brain. Another stab of pain went through her. No, whatever this pain was, it was outside her uterus. It was something worse, something at the very core of her being. She felt like bit by bit, cell by cell, her body was breaking apart.

"Wait, no…" her voice trailed off, as if those two words would help any of the damage the other admission gave. The world was quiet. Eerily quiet. "I think...we lost." she said finally. She looked over to Steve, but she couldn't see Thanos anymore. He was gone. Where was he? No body...meant no victory. "He's gone, Bucky. I think he…"

The pain eased in intensity, but started working its way through her whole body. She looked down, feeling like her legs were cracking, breaking. Turns out, that's exactly what was happening. Her eyes turned back to Bucky, and she could feel the fear on her face. Pieces of him were starting to flake away too, dancing away in the wind.

"Bucky?" she said, her voice cracking with emotion. He put his arms around her, holding her up and holding her close, tucking her face into his neck so that she didn't have to see what was going on.

"It's going to be okay, Little Bird." he said, his own throat thick. After all this, after all the aliens that almost got her, after all the shit they'd been through, none of it mattered. It was always going to go down like this.

"I'm scared, I'm really scared." she said, sobbing into his hair. What happened, after death? It was a question she'd had often, but tried to avoid. He clutched her tighter, his embrace hurting her cracked ribs. But she didn't care. Pain meant she was still alive, right?

"I know. I'm here. I'm right here with you." he replied softly. Her body shook with her tears, and he tried to soothe her as best he could.

"It hurts." she admitted, her voice high. He squeezed his eyes shut, his own tears mingling with the sweat and blood in her hair. He knew. He was feeling it too.

"It's going to be okay. No matter where we go, I'll find you." he said. He felt as her legs completely disintegrated, as he held what was left of her body. "I love you, I'll find you-"

And then, she was gone.

He looked down at his arms, the last dust of her blowing away and mixing with the ashes coming off of him. He would join her soon. She was right, Thanos had won. And they were among the chosen to die. He looked for Steve, the fearless leader he'd followed through multiple lives. He looked tired, beaten, worn. He was never a good loser. But he had been a great leader, and a great friend.

"Steve?" he said, just loud enough to get his attention. He barely made eye contact before the pain spread, his arms going before his legs, his legs before his torso, his torso before the rest of him.

Dust.

Darkness.

Death.

OOPS. YIKES. Anyone else crying in the club right now? To all those who were worried Bucky would come home to a five year old...now you get to rest easy I guess?

So I probably won't be able to update next weekend because I'm traveling again, but I do want to let y'all know that we won't be skipping straight to Endgame. I've got a whole arc for Mika and Bucky that I planned a year ago after Infinity War, and decided to change it just a wee bit to fit in with the last film. I do plan to eventually include Falcon and Winter Soldier (assuming it takes place after Endgame), so there's probably gonna be a bit of a hiatus once we reach the end of what I have planned. But don't worry, there's still a lot in the works!

So y'all are amazing? And this story has almost 1000 reviews? I can't express how thankful and grateful I am for y'all's support and kind words, it's literally what keeps me going. So to celebrate, I want to give something back to y'all. I'll randomly choose five people (since that's how far away we are) who review this chapter, and we can either have an appearance in the story of your choosing or a lil extra prompt written outside of the story. Unfortunately this means I can't include guest reviewers (since I'll have to be able to talk with you about what you want), but I still want to hear your thoughts!

Ok, now that all those annoying author's notes are over, thank you so much for reading! Please let me know what you thought!