Chapter 71: Hope and Frustration

Mika didn't know what she expected when she finally woke up, but somehow she was still surprised to see the red.

It took a few long moments for her brain to shake off the amnesia, her memories returning to her one by one just like they had the day before. That was the day before, right? It wasn't a week? Or a year? She sat up slowly, taking in the unfamiliar apartment. Right, yesterday she'd been at her old house. She'd woken up alone. She looked down at her wrist, and heaved a sigh of relief as she saw her black bracelet still there. She'd changed her clothes, figuring that she couldn't walk around in her armor. Was this what Bucky used to feel, waking up every morning in his little apartment in Bucharest?

Bucky.

How could she have forgotten that he was here too? That she was on her way to find him? Why else would she be in this strange apartment? Idiot! She scrambled to her feet, her body feeling an odd mixture between numb and perfect. She hated this world, hated it. Was Steve here too? Or was he on the outside, fixing everything?

Her vision began to blur, both with tears and vertigo, as the thoughts raced around her mind and panic rose in her chest. It hadn't felt like this yesterday. Yesterday she'd been determined. But now, suddenly, all her hope was lost. She wished she could organize her thoughts somehow, get it all down so that they wouldn't intrude on her and hold her back from what she needed to do. How had Bucky handled it? A notebook. She needed to find a notebook.

As if the world were listening to her, a little red journal and a pen were suddenly on the coffee table next to her. Had those been there before? She didn't know, but she was glad to see them now. She flipped the cover open, clicking the pen and titling the first page Day 1. This was how she was going to keep track of everything. The notes started as fragments, bits and pieces of what she remembered from the day before. As the memories solidified and her blood pressure lowered, she was able to go back and fill in more details, like the state the house had been in or what the two men she encountered were wearing. She made brief notes of her conversation with Dominic, and wondered if he would continue with her today or go his own way. She hoped for the latter, but somehow knew she wouldn't be so lucky.

When she reached the end of her memories, she suddenly felt empty, and very heartsick for her husband. Was he back at their apartment, or had he gone looking for her too? Would he go to her mother's cottage, only to find it empty? Or would he wait, knowing that she would come to him back at the apartment? She would give anything to talk to him right now, to sort out how she was feeling, and to try and figure out where they were going next. With a sigh, she skipped a couple lines, and starting penning a note to him. She didn't know whether or not he would ever read it, but it still helped.

Today was our first day apart in years. And I didn't like it. I'm scared of this new place, I really am, though I'd never admit it to anyone but you, because I know after you finished making fun of me for being a big baby, you'd hold me and tell me that everything is going to be okay.

And everything is going to be okay, even though I feel like I'm on a wild goose chase right now trying to find you. Because even if you're not right next to me, you're still keeping me safe. I can protect myself now, thanks to you. Now, even though there's a bunch of weird shit around, I know that at least I don't have to be afraid of the people. One less thing for me to worry about, and I can focus that much more on getting back to you.

I hope you're safe at home, waiting on my couch. And if you're not - well, I'll just have to look somewhere else. Miss you. Love you.

Once she covered the first three pages with everything, she flipped to a fresh one and wrote Day 2 at the top. She would have to be vigilant, otherwise she was going to deal with this same confusion every day they were here. She briefly wondered if they were going to be stuck here forever, but she shoved the thought out of her mind. She would have to be positive, that was the only way she was going to make it through. And even if she wasn't positive, she could hold on to the anger she had towards Thanos, and use that as fuel when the hope started to wane. She was going to find Bucky, and then they would be together when Steve figured out how to save them. Or maybe, just maybe, they could find a way to save themselves.

She heard rustling from the bedroom, and soon Dominic threw the door open, looking somewhat disheveled. She perked an eyebrow at his entrance but said nothing, closing her journal and putting it in the waistband of her jeans. Why hadn't she thought to grab a bag? Just like before, as the thought finished, her purse that she hadn't seen since Bucharest appeared on the floor, where she would have tossed it after a night out. Huh. Convenient. She slipped the journal into it and put the strap over her body before slipping on her boots, finally looking again to her unwilling companion as she stood up.

"I'm going." she said. She would not ask if he wanted to join, it would be up to him to decide. He blinked at her a couple times, his jaw clenching as he tried to figure out what response he wanted to give her. Good, make him sweat a little.

"Not even gonna give me a chance to wake up?" he asked, and Mika wasn't sure if he was actually tired or just trying to manipulate her into feeling guilty and waiting for him. Four years ago she would have fallen for it, but not now.

"You can stay if you want. Not my concern." she replied, going to the door. He'd already slowed her down enough, she was not about to cut him any more slack. She heard him swear under his breath as she pushed the door open, and the sound of his shoes on the floor as he followed behind her. She didn't slow her pace, exiting the building and immediately turning towards Bucharest.

"Jesus, can we - fuck, Mika, slow down!" Dominic said, jogging to catch up with her. He was frustrated with her? Good. He deserved it. "Thought we were supposed to be going together here."

"Thought you agreed not to talk during this adventure." she replied cooly. She knew this new world was scary, and had to admit that she didn't want to be completely alone, but that didn't mean she had to be nice to her one companion. He needed her much more than she needed him.

"Okay, seriously, what is your problem?" he said, cutting in front of her. She easily dodged around him, continuing her trek. He let out a noise of frustration, grabbing her arm and trying to pull her back. She turned and pushed him hard in the sternum, getting him to let go and give her space. "What the fuck?!"

"My problem is that you act like it is your right to accompany me, but it is, in fact, a privilege." she seethed. How did she not realize before how entitled he was? "I get it. You don't want to be by yourself. And I'm trying to be the bigger person here, but you're making it really, really difficult."

"You're being a spoiled brat." he said, and she could tell he wanted to continue in whatever lame tirade that was cooking up in his head, but she cut it short.

"And you're being an asshole. So again, you can either stick it out with me, or go it alone. Your choice." she retorted. She wanted to let out all her anger that she didn't realize she still had against him; she wanted to tell him how badly he'd hurt her, how he'd almost cost her everything with her friendship with Bucky, how she couldn't believe she'd been so stupid as to fall in love with him. But that was the same old song and dance, and she'd moved on to better things now. So instead of continuing the conversation, she simply turned and kept walking. For a moment she heard nothing but silence, but after a moment there was the sound of someone jogging, and soon Dominic was next to her again, his mouth resolutely shut. His hands were stuffed deep in his pockets, and his eyes were on the ground, and she wondered if for once he was thinking of someone other than himself.

They walked the entire day, once again unable to tell the passage of time with the solid red of the sky. They weren't the only people out and about today; it seemed now people were braver, more curious, trying to find anyone they knew from the previous world or, in turn, knew anything that was going on. Mika had more information than most, but her knowledge wasn't going to help them. It went against everything she knew to pass them by, but right now, she needed to be selfish. Once she got back to Bucky, then they could start helping others.

Just as the red was fading into scarlet, a ripple went across the sky, so fast and so subtle that at first Mika wasn't sure it was real or just a trick. But then another wave rolled over, bigger and slower, and followed by more of the same. Mika stopped walking and Dominic looked up at her, a question on his face. But she didn't give him any attention, fully distracted by what was going on above them. Besides the color, there hadn't been any sort of change in the sky, until now. A booming roar harbingered hot lightning, which spiderwebbed above them and made it look like the very atmosphere was breaking apart. Then, as suddenly as it came, it was gone. Mika's skin felt hot and uncomfortable, tingling as if the electricity were still close by.

"Maybe we should go inside for the night." Dominic offered, his voice quiet. He too was terrified by what they just saw, and Mika found herself nodding in agreement.

"Yea, yea that's probably a good idea." she said, moving a little faster to find them a place for the night before the lightning decided to return.

…

"Anyone know what in the hell they're trying to do?" Sam asked, tired and frustrated. They'd spent the whole "night" making sure Peter's web fluid held up, keeping the people in robes separate. Bucky thought it would be a good idea to simply drag them to different parts of the city or test what the limits were on vitality in the stone.

"Maybe they're just...trying to break us all out of here." Peter offered. "Maybe we should talk to them and figure it out."

"No." Bucky said immediately. He did not think that talking would help this situation. Granted, he almost never thought talking was going to help the situation.

"But what if-" Peter tried to continue, but once again was cut off by Sam.

"Shut it. So what, we just throw them in the river?" he said, gesturing towards the Hudson. Bucky shrugged in response.

"But hey guys-"

"Sounds like as good a plan as any." Bucky replied. Surely they couldn't die if they were already dead, right? They just needed to take care of these guys, then they could find the wizard and go after Mika.

"Guys!" Peter finally had enough, shouting loudly to get their attention. Both men turned to him, annoyed and not doing anything to hide it.

"What?" they snapped at the same time.

"Should we be worried that somebody else is talking to them?" he asked rhetorically, gesturing towards where the people - if they could be called people, they still seemed like aliens - were still wrapped up on the concrete. Sure enough, there was a blonde woman sitting on the concrete next to the youngest member of the group. Now that they were really looking, they realized he was just a kid, a very scared kid. But that didn't mean they felt sorry for him.

"Excuse me? Can we-" Sam stopped his sarcastic interruption as the woman turned her head to them, her ponytail flipping over her shoulder. Bucky and Peter both stopped, while Sam looked like he was seeing a ghost. "O?"

"Who the hell is O?" Bucky asked, exasperated that yet another wrench was thrown into the plan.

"Samuel Wilson, well I never." the blonde said in a very convincing Southern accent. Bucky flinched; he hadn't heard anyone speak like that since his Army days. Luckily, she dropped it quickly, adopting a thick New York accent. "Shoulda known I would run into you."

"World ends and somehow we still can't escape each other." Sam said in feux displeasure. Peter leaned close to Bucky, closer than what he was comfortable with, and whispered too loudly,

"Do you know who that is?"

"Not a clue, kid." Bucky replied. 'O' had gotten up, giving some sort of goodbye to the kid and coming over to them. She was slightly older than they had originally thought, early thirties perhaps, with startlingly green eyes that were way too serious for either of their comfort. She greeted Sam with a hug before turning to them, holding out a hand and adopting a professional persona.

"Olana Morrison." she said, giving both Bucky and Peter a firm handshake. Peter looked completely overwhelmed, though to be fair that wasn't far from his baseline. She gestured at his uniform, seemingly excited. "Hey, Spiderman, right? You found my niece's bike for her. Thanks for that."

"Oh, uh, yea, no problem." he said, both proud and confused by the praise. "My name's Peter, by the way. Peter Parker. Or Spiderman. Whatever's easiest."

"Right. Nice to meet you, Peter." she said. She turned to Bucky, who was somewhat less enthused to interact with another stranger. "You look familiar."

"You might have read about me in a museum. Or saw me on the news." he deadpanned, still shaking her hand that she presented. She looked at him with those sharp eyes, and he could see the wheels turning as she tried to place his face. He also saw the moment where it all clicked into place, but luckily was saved from her reaction by Sam coming over to them.

"So you have any clue what's going on over there?" he asked, crossing his arms over his chest. The kid was still looking between them and the other occult members. They all seemed much older than him, which made Bucky extremely wary. No one kept kids around for no reason...unless they were spider-enhanced kids that wouldn't leave you alone.

"See, I tried to tell them that we should talk to them but-" Peter explained, and Olana listened to him like the professional she was. Unfortunately, Sam could never let him get a word in edgewise.

"You beat us to it." he said, giving her what he believed was a charming smile. Luckily, Olana saw right through it, blinking heavily to prevent herself from rolling her eyes.

"Bullshit." was the response she finally decided on, making Sam's jaw drop in surprise. Peter looked appalled at the language, though Bucky knew for a fact the kid had heard the word before. And Bucky? Bucky was just glad that someone besides him was calling Sam on it. "Really, Sam? What was the next plan of action here, throw them in the river?"

"Oh my God, can she read minds?" Peter asked, and the look on his face said that none of them wanted to know the things that had been running through his head. Sam let out a snort.

"No, she just thinks she can. Don't encourage it." he said, shaking his head. Olana looked like she wanted to reply, but Bucky cut her off. As much as he wanted to see his friend get ripped to shreds by the woman, he wanted to be done with this self-appointed mission and get back to looking for his wife.

"What did the kid have to say?" he asked, bringing the focus back. Once again she looked uncertain whether or not she should be afraid of him, but a quick glance at Sam and Peter seemed to solidify her confidence.

"Long story short, they believe this was the promised apocalypse, and they're the chosen ones to free us all." she said, and Sam let out an audible groan while Bucky felt his whole body sag. He did not have time to deal with religious zealots.

"But how were they able to do that thing? With the beam and the sky? I mean, no one should be able to do that, right?" Peter asked, sending out another web towards a guy who looked like he was about to wriggle free.

"Well, I'm no expert on the occult or whatever this whole situation is," she said, gesturing widely with her hands. "but it seems belief plays a big part of where we're at. So even if they didn't have powers back in our previous life, if they think they have them here…"

"Then the stone will give it to them." Sam finished, his jaw clenching. None of them would consider themselves persuasive, unless they could use very...manual methods.

"So some stone brought us here?" Olana asked, and Bucky remembered once again that not everyone knew what had happened in Wakanda.

"It was a bunch of stones, and a Titan named Thanos, I fought him on his home planet with Dr. Strange and Tony - I mean, Iron Man, and see he was trying to gather all the infinity stones - which are like, these cosmic things that can alter time and space and reality and stuff - so that he could-" Peter had the best intentions with his explanation, he really did, but no one had the time for it at that moment.

"Long story short, dude snapped away half the living creatures in the universe to try and create balance. So yes, stones brought us here. But the running theory is that we're stuck in one of them." Sam summarized. Olana stared at him for a long time, trying to determine if he was lying, and eventually came to the conclusion that he was, in fact, telling the truth.

"Well. That certainly complicates things." she said, looking back at the people they'd webbed up. Now that it was light again and Bucky could see a bit clearer, he noticed the blue undertone of their skin, and the slight point to their ears. They all stared at them with large, unblinking eyes; some were trying to look defiant, but most of them just looked scared. "They're just trying to do right by their beliefs."

"How can we convince them they're wrong?" Bucky asked. He didn't know her qualifications for this, or how she knew anything. He just wanted to make sure this world - however it was made - stayed intact. She sighed, looking to Sam.

"Care to work one last case together?" she asked. He gestured towards the beings in front of them.

"Lead the way." he said. She nodded, going back to the group, Peter following close behind her. Bucky caught up to Sam, whispering out of the corner of his mouth,

"And who exactly is she?"

"I believe you grandpas would call her an old flame." he said, making Bucky let out a huff of a laugh. How bad would it suck for the world to end, and then to get stuck with your ex?

Sam's ex, turned out, was a therapist at the VA - an actual licensed one - and led the group in a productive (for the most part) conversation discussing the basis of their beliefs, the hypothesized mechanics of the stone, and where the two may overlap. The aliens, who were technically all New York citizens, had been born on earth after a part of their colony went searching for the stones. All but the youngest were born shortly after Steve went into the ice, and had lived American lives for that entire time. The fact that there were six stones instead of one great cosmic power was new to them, but considering the rumors that tended to float around the galaxy, it made sense. Most seemed receptive to the information, but some were determined to hold on, despite the overwhelming evidence that they were mistaken.

"But if we're wrong, then how were we able to summon the Fire?" one man asked snidely, his chest puffed in an illusion of strength.

"You can summon most anything, if you try hard enough." Olana offered. "But that doesn't mean you're supposed to destroy this world."

"Prove it." he spat, and Bucky actually rolled his eyes this time. This was not what he needed. Olana nodded, thinking for a second before closing her eyes. Something flickered next to her, and soon there was a leather jacket laying on the ground. With a smile, she picked it up and pulled it on, finding that it fit perfectly. The man scoffed. "Too easy."

"See that restaurant there?" Bucky said, looking to some hipster cafe that probably charged three times what a plate was worth. The guy looked over, and was clearly familiar with the place. "Used to be a bank. Closed back in 1931, in the height of the Depression. Memories change things here." he concluded as the face of the building changed, the sign proudly displaying Williams Bank Co. The man didn't have a response to that, though his demeanor shifted. Good, they'd put a crack in his armor.

"Look, if we thought this was a feasible option, we wouldn't stop you. But we've seen the guy, tried to stop him - and failed. But we still got people on the outside who're gonna fix this. And until then, we gotta live with what's here." Sam said, using a tone of voice that Bucky had never heard from him. Perhaps that was his VA meeting voice.

"Give it time. This place is sustainable. We just have to have a little patience, that's all." Olana said with a smile bright enough that it made them want to believe it. Bucky honestly couldn't care less whether they had a bright outlook on their new life, but he kept a neutral face; they could believe what they wanted, as long as they didn't destroy anything. Once they agreed not to try and blow this world to smithereens, Bucky pulled out his utility knife (wondering if it had been there this whole time) and cut them loose of their ties. He half expected them to immediately join and start chanting again, but instead they just dusted themselves off and started walking away without another word. He didn't trust that.

"Glad to see you haven't lost your touch." Sam said with a grin. The young kid was sticking by Olana, visibly afraid of the people walking away. And if he was afraid, then Bucky thought they should probably keep an eye on them.

"Well, someone has to have it together around here." she replied. "But you guys have it handled from here. I'm gonna help Malcolm here find his mom upstate."

"If she's here." Bucky pointed out, which earned him a strong glare from her. He ducked his head down, heeding her silent command to not try and kill any hope the kid might have.

"Well, thanks for your help. It was good to see you, O." Sam said, and Bucky thought he looked a little sad to see her go. She gave him a hug and ruffled Peter's hair, giving Bucky a cordial handshake before pulling away. They watched as she walked off, her arm around the kid's shoulders, heading north through the streets. When she was no longer visible, they all seemed to deflate, exhausted with what just happened. Peter actually bent at the waist, resting his hands on his knees and letting out a long breath as he hung his head. Ah, the hubris of youth, thinking the world ever stopped.

Just when they thought the dust had settled, just when Bucky thought he was finally going to be able to find his way to Romania, another pillar of fire leapt into the sky, a few city blocks over. Their speech had done nothing.

"You've got to be shitting me." Bucky muttered before taking off at a run towards the flames.

…

Nicoletta paced around the living room of Steve's apartment at the compound, wringing her hands and trying to be patient. They were going to space, after all. They weren't going to be able to fix everything in just a few hours, or even a couple days. And so she stayed in the apartment, pacing and wringing and thinking of everything right and wrong and in between that had happened over the past few years. She certainly hadn't thought that she'd ever see her sister's superhero friends again, and certainly didn't think that anything would progress, and really didn't think that she'd end up shaking up at the Avengers compound after a universal disaster. But that was the turn her life was taking, and she was trying to roll with it.

Her mother hadn't answered the phone since the snap. All her friends seemed to be safe, but she didn't want to see them right now. She felt separated from them, both by her knowledge and her losses. Was coming to New York the right choice? Probably not. But it helped her forget that she was alone now. Steve and Natasha were the closest thing to family she had.

Lights flared from the lawn, and she ran to the window to see the space craft landing on the grass. She immediately took off towards the door, running through the compound until she finally pushed through the outer doors. She didn't know what was going to happen once they fixed everything, didn't know how it was all going to change back. The world felt the same, but it had to be different, right? They wouldn't be coming back if it weren't.

The ramp lowered and she stopped at the foot of it, staring into the darkness of the cabin until she saw movement. Thor was first, taking off into the sky without a second glance. Natasha and Clint came next, their eyes downcast as they walked by her. Then came Steve, looking as if he'd aged a decade and was holding the weight of the world on his shoulders. She was rooted to the ground as he came down the ramp, coming to a stop in front of her.

"I'm sorry." he said. His voice was low and raspy, the words sticking in his throat. He couldn't meet her eyes. She waited for him to say something, anything else, but he stayed silent.

"But I thought…" she trailed off, not wanting to say it out loud. I thought you were going to fix it. I thought you were going to save her. I thought everything was going to be alright. Her eyes filled with tears, her chest seizing as the reality set in. Steve stepped to her and held her tight, the rough fabric of his uniform irritating her cheek as she sobbed into his chest. She wanted to be mad at him, hit him, scream at him, but she knew it wasn't his fault. Not really. And if she was honest, she couldn't risk losing someone else.

"I know. I'm sorry." he said again. He had nothing else he could offer.

I liiiiiiive! Ah man, these poor kids can't catch a break! Unrelated note, who's pumped for Falcon and Winter Soldier, even if we have to wait a year for it?!

Olena belongs to the lovely kkiyomizu, her cameo for winning a place in the 1000 review giveaway!

Thank y'all for your patience the past couple weeks, and for all the wonderful amazing thoughtful reviews on the last chapter! I know there's been a lot of questions about the timeline and Mika and the baby and all that, and I promise that all those questions will be answered! I can't show my whole hand up front, lads! :P If you're dying for spoilers, I always welcome PM's, or you can message me on the hellsite tumblr, my username is whindsor.

I hope y'all enjoyed this next installment! Please let me know what you thought!

-XM