Chapter 74: Body and Soul
"Oh my God, I missed you so much!" Mika said into Bucky's neck, refusing to let go of him. He held her tightly to his chest, so tightly that he'd probably crack one of her ribs if they were back in the real world. But while they were still stuck in the odd world of the stone, they were finally, finally, back together.
"I'm sorry I couldn't go to you." he said lowly. He knew Mika was strong in her own right, and had proven on multiple occasions that she could take care of herself, but that didn't stop his old-fashioned ideas that he was supposed to watch out for her. He felt like something was stuck in his throat, choking him ever so slightly.
"No, no, you had to stay here." she said, though if he asked, she couldn't tell him the reason why he had to stay. She finally pulled back, putting her hands on his cheeks. "I'm sorry it took me so long to get here."
"You're right on time." he replied, leaning his forehead against hers. He felt like a weight the size of the earth had been lifted from his shoulders, and he could finally breathe for the first time in the three weeks they'd been stuck there. His hand moved to her hip, then her stomach, pausing there as he recalled some of her last words to him. "What about…"
"I don't know." she said, her eyes shining with tears as she shook her head. She hadn't cried this entire time, but now that she was here looking at him, she felt like she was crumbling all over again. "I don't know."
"It's okay." he said, tugging her close and letting her bury her face in his neck again. He could feel her shaking as she sobbed, and held her up as she leaned into him. She'd spent the past three weeks being strong, and she finally felt like she could let go. "No matter what, it's okay." His arms held her up, just like he had that final day, but this time she wasn't going to disappear. This time, she was here to stay.
"Um, I hate to butt in…" Peter said awkwardly, making Mika pull away from Bucky and Bucky roll his eyes heavenward.
"And yet…" he muttered, making Mika pinch him behind his elbow. Luckily the distraction stopped her tears, though she still sniffled slightly and tried to covertly dry her eyes. He gave her an unamused look, but her attention was on the young man with them. She blinked a couple times, trying to place his face and his voice.
"Who is this?" she asked Bucky, gesturing to him. Before he could respond, Peter cut in, offering her a hand and looking a little awestruck.
"Peter. Peter Parker. Uh, also known as Spiderman. Sometimes." he explained, shaking her hand just a touch too firmly. He looked back and forth between the two of them. "Is she…? I mean, are you a superhero too? I just, cause, you look like, like a lot like Wonder Woman. She's really your wife?"
"Trust me kid, I'm just as surprised as you." Bucky deadpanned, still refusing to let go of Mika's hand. Now that they were back together, he wasn't going to let her out of his sight if he could help it. Mika gave him an easy smile before turning to Bucky.
"Did you go and adopt more children while I was away? We talked about this the first time." she said, her tone implying the inside joke.
"You guys have kids?" Peter asked, shocked at the revelation and completely missing the joke. Then, her statement seemed to sink in. "I mean, not that I'm a kid. I'm young, yea, but like...not a kid."
"Sounds like something a kid would say." Bucky pointed out, and Peter opened and closed his mouth a couple times trying to form a response before just snapping it shut. Both of them ignored the kids question, not wanting to unpack their emotions at that moment. "What were you interrupting for?"
"Oh, right, I was just going to suggest, you know, maybe heading towards the tower, so we can update Dr. Strange and Falcon on the situation." Peter offered, dropping his voice just slightly to give the air of maturity. Mika's head snapped to Bucky.
"Sam is here?" she asked, elated. "Who else? Steve? Nat?"
"Just Sam." Bucky responded, sharing the only information he had that would mean anything to her. If Steve was here, they'd have woken up in the same apartment. And if Natasha were here, they probably wouldn't know, considering she'd be somewhere in Russia. Granted, if Mika could make her way all the way here, then Natasha definitely could.
"And Dr. Strange!" Peter said, and Mika looked wary at that addition. She looked to Bucky and murmured in Romanian,
"I don't know who that is, but his name makes me nervous." One corner of his mouth quirked up in a grin, and he squeezed her hand just barely to comfort her.
"He lives up to the name, but he seems alright." he responded in kind, making sure to glance suspiciously at Peter. As desired, the kid started shifting his weight back and forth, worried that they were talking about him. After making him sweat for a moment, he dropped the act. "C'mon, let's go to that stupid tower."
Mika couldn't help but look around excitedly as they walked towards Manhattan, trying to take in the views. There was still a lot of New York that she wanted to see, and she wasn't going to waste the chance to see some of it. Of course, her excitement waned as she realized that all the fun looking restaurants and shops were essentially useless, since they had no need for food in this strange world. She actually pouted a bit as they passed a big bakery, one that boasted being open since 1912. Bucky had smiled, and said that one day they'd go and see if the apple pie was any good.
She actually came to a stop as they turned the corner and spotted the Tower, her brows furrowed as she looked at the different street corners. "I certainly don't remember that." she said, almost wondering if she was imagining things. Could they still have hallucinations in this place?
"Mr. Bucky had that same reaction." Peter mused aloud, and Mika realized that he was so young he probably didn't remember a time before the tower was built. She smirked at her husband.
"Mr. Bucky, huh?" she asked. She was definitely going to make fun of him for that for a long time. Bucky rolled his eyes, blowing out a frustrated sigh.
"Kid won't let it go." he muttered, stuffing his hands in his pockets and starting towards the tower, not looking to see if the other two were following him.
"Mr. Bucky! Wait for us!" Mika said, jogging after him and tucking her hand into his elbow. Peter followed them, slightly slower, finding it weird to see the quiet, stoic guy that had kept him company over the past few weeks actually smiling. He was even, dare he say it, flirting. Damn, Mr. Stark's files really were all wrong about him. At least, wrong about him as a person. Bucky had admitted himself that the other stuff was all true.
The lobby of the tower was empty when they arrived, and Bucky led them to the elevators at the back. Time seemed to stop as they went up the elevator to the top floor, the silence between the three of them nearly heavy enough to keep them on the ground. When the doors finally opened, they saw the silhouette of a man as he stood in the window, the red of the sky framing him and accenting his coat. They couldn't see his face, only his straight posture.
"Nice of you three to join us." he drawled, and while Mika looked suspicious and Peter looked flabbergasted, Bucky had to resist the urge to roll his eyes again.
"How did you know she found us?" Peter asked, assuming he'd used some of the magic that he'd used to seal the world and protect it from the people trying to destroy it.
"Man, he watched y'all through the window." Sam said, his voice in a permanent state of annoyance when speaking to Peter. Mika perked up as he walked in from the other room, running across the apartment to jump on him in a hug. "How's it going, Meeks? Bout damn time you showed up."
"Well you know I always have to be fashionably late." she said as he put her down. Dr. Strange appeared next to Bucky, a shit-eating grin on his face.
"Told you." he murmured before floating over to Mika to introduce himself. It was an odd little group that they had, that was for sure. But now that Mika was part of it, Bucky knew that it would be alright.
They settled on the couches as Mika told them everything about her adventures, from the weird rolling of the sky to watching a man turn to dust again, finally ending with Lee Miller and her trip across the ocean. Sam and Peter took turns with dramatic retellings of the situation in New York, how they had to deal with occultists and were trying to maintain the peace so that no one else got hurt. A lot had happened in the twenty-one days they'd been stuck in the stone, and they all seemed in a rush to share everything that happened. Bucky was content to sit back and listen, just adding minimal commentary when necessary. Mika sat next to him, her leg pulled up onto the couch and her knee resting on his thigh as she gestured dramatically with her hands or listened intently to Sam's stories. He had his hand on her knee protectively, feeling like if he let go then she would drift away all over again. But as long as he held onto her, she would stay there.
"So," Mika said once everyone was all caught up, leaning forward to put her elbow on her leg and level Dr. Strange with a look. "what exactly is the plan here? How are we going to get out?"
"Unfortunately, it's not up to us." Strange replied, his voice steady and calm despite answering this question for probably the tenth time. "All we can do is wait for what must come to pass in the outside world."
"Why does he talk like he's from Lord of the Rings?" Mika asked Bucky lowly, speaking in Romanian. Strange perked an eyebrow, but didn't give away whether or not he understood what she was saying.
"Probably for the drama." Bucky replied in kind. It felt so nice to be speaking the other language with her again; he felt like it had been years since he'd used it, and speaking it felt like home. Strange didn't acknowledge their aside, instead continuing his explanation.
"Things are falling into place, and our time is drawing near. So until then, we must prepare body and mind for the last stand that will take place." he explained calmly. Peter perked up at this revelation, while Sam and Bucky sighed at the theatrics.
"So we're gonna remember all this then?" Peter asked. He got up, starting to pace around the apartment. "Cause I mean, it's our souls in here, right? But then if it's just our souls, then how would our physical brains recall all this? I mean, it's not like our brains are actually here to make all these memories. That's why we like, forget everything every day right? Cause there's no brain to consolidate the information-"
"Pete, chill." Sam interrupted him before he could really get going. "What did we talk about?"
Peter let out a long breath. "One question at a time." he said, sounding exactly like an angsty, annoyed teenager. Mika had to grin at that; seemed like Bucky wasn't the only one to adopt the kid. He stopped his pacing, turning back to Strange.
"We probably won't remember things, at least not immediately, and not consciously." he said, addressing his first question. "But we can still prepare."
"Tomorrow though, right?" Mika interjected, making the group stop to look at her. "We can start preparing tomorrow? I need a rest." she explained, and while her body didn't look tired, Bucky could feel the exhaustion coming from her. Her soul was tired. Strange looked at her for a long moment, his eyes flicking once over to Bucky, before silently nodding.
"Tomorrow." he agreed, and Mika looked extremely relieved. Now that Bucky looked around, Sam and Peter didn't seem to mind the delay either. Bucky stood, and Mika gave Sam another hug before following suit, starting towards the door.
"Tomorrow, then." he said with a wave over his shoulder, pressing the button for the elevator. He idly wondered why they had to wait on it in this world.
"What, y'all aren't gonna stay here?" Sam asked from where he stretched out on the now empty couch. Mika turned to Bucky at the question, but he just gave the man an annoyed look.
"Hell no. You'll never catch me living in Manhattan." he said with half a grin, stepping into the elevator as the doors opened. Mika gave them one last wave as the door closed, pulling Bucky's arm around her and sinking into him once they were alone.
"Where are we staying, then?" she asked as the elevator descended. He pressed his lips to the top of her head, idly noting that her hair smelled like the floral shampoo she used to use before they moved to Wakanda.
"My old place in Brooklyn." he said. It wasn't like the apartment in Romania, and it certainly wasn't their little cottage in Wakanda, but it was more home than the giant tower. "You'll get to see how really old fashioned I am."
"Oh good!" she said with a smile, looking up at him with those brown eyes that he knew so well. He leaned down then, kissing her softly. It was just like he remembered.
They parted as the doors opened on the ground floor, the lobby still as empty as when they arrived that morning. It wasn't terribly late in the day, but now after twenty-one days of practice, Mika could tell when the sky was starting to change from the bright red to a blood red, giving away that the time was passing.
"It's kind of a long walk." he said apologetically as they got out onto the street. She laughed, shaking her head.
"I literally walked from Bucharest to Le Havre. I think I can make it to Brooklyn." she said. The burrough name sounded funny with her accent, and he couldn't help but smile. He liked the way she said it.
"And here I was going to offer to carry you. But I suppose you'll be fine." he replied, leading the way.
"Now wait just a moment, I wouldn't mind that." she said, but he shook his head.
"Oh no, you're way too tough. You don't need me to take care of you." he said. God, it felt so good just to be with her again, and talk to her again, even if it was just about nothing. She surprised him by jumping on his back, her legs circling his waist and her arms going around his shoulders. She leaned heavily into him, but she didn't weigh him down. Nothing could weigh him down at this moment. He laughed and shook his head, his hair tickling her nose and making her shift to avoid it before settling against his back again. Admitting defeat, he put his arms under her legs and took her back home.
He set her down just outside the door, suddenly nervous to have her back here. True, she'd seen every part of him, but she hadn't seen this version of him. She hadn't seen how he was before everything, and he wondered how she would respond. She gasped softly as they entered the apartment, her eyes wide as she took it all in.
"I feel like I've gone back in time." she said, slowly taking in every detail of the apartment. It was simply furnished, but it still felt like home. She went over to the pictures on the wall. There were only three: two with his family, before his parents passed, and one with Steve, before he got the serum. All of them were gifts from his sister, given to him the Christmas after she went to boarding school. Mika gasped appreciatively at the last one, pointing to it. "Is that Steve?"
"Yep. That's how I knew him." he said. He didn't know why he'd been nervous about this; even now, in her modern clothing, Mika seemed to fit perfectly into the apartment. Home is where the heart is, James. That's what his mother had always told him. And once again, his mother was right.
"He's so tiny!" she exclaimed gleefully. "Oh, does this picture still exist? I need it. Desperately."
"If it does, Steve has it." he responded, watching as she moved on to the pile of records. Most of them didn't have titles on them, as he couldn't remember exactly which ones he had. Plus, a lot of them were Steve's anyway. "He moved in here, after his mother passed."
"Oh, you two were roommates." she said, in the tone of voice that implied she was making a pop culture reference that once again he didn't get. Even after four years of work, he was still catching up. She turned back to the music, picking up one that had a picture and a title. He heard the little gasp she made as she recognized something, and she pulled the record from its sleeve to put it on the player. He was surprised as the crackles from the record started; he hadn't expected it to work. Soon violins echoed through the apartment, just like they had back in the day, as the old Bing Crosby song that they'd danced to in her kitchen a lifetime ago began playing. Mika stepped back to him with a smile, taking the hand that he offered and settling against him as he pulled her close. He always wondered what it would be like if they had met in a different time, but now he knew that no matter what, no matter when, no matter where, they were supposed to be together.
"I missed you." he murmured, repeating her words from earlier. He hugged her tighter, trying to be as close as possible. She didn't say anything, not trusting her voice. It had been such a whirlwind trying to get here, and now that she had finally made it to her destination, she felt a sense of relief so complete that she forgot that they were stuck in some weird alternate reality. She pulled back just enough so that she could kiss him softly; it wasn't a hesitant kiss of people parted for a long time, but instead a gentle and resounding welcome home.
The kiss deepened as the song faded away. Now that they weren't paying attention to it, the record player slowed to a stop, leaving no sounds in the apartment except for their quiet breaths and beating hearts. Her arms went around his shoulders as he picked her up, carrying her into the bedroom and gently laying her on his mattress. He thought that they would be desperate for each other at this point, tearing off clothes in a frenzy. But their kisses were slow and steady, and he wanted nothing more than to reacquaint himself with every inch of her.
He loosened the buttons of her flannel one at a time, his lips trailing and taking in every newly exposed part of her. She sat up so she could pull it off and he caught her hand in his metal one as she tossed the shirt away, bringing her palm to his lips and laying a kiss there. Next he kissed her wrist, his lips pausing over her pulse so he could feel it beat again and again and again. He then kissed her forearm, up to her shoulder, and across her collarbones. His hands explored the curves of her ribs and the softness of her chest as hers tangled in his hair, keeping him close. His lips were warm and familiar, comforting her like a cup of tea on a cold winter day.
Her skin tingled everywhere he touched her, her heart rate steadily rising with his slow, purposeful movements. Her fingers left his hair, instead going to his shoulders to tug at his shirt. He sat up to pull off the offending article of clothing, tossing it next to hers onto the floor. She was immediately up in front of him, tracing the lines of his muscles and kissing him once again. With her bare torso pressed against his, something shifted between them, as if they suddenly remembered that they had died and that the world had ripped them apart. The desperation that Bucky had anticipated set in then, and suddenly they couldn't be close enough, couldn't kiss deep enough. They attempted to scramble out of their pants without breaking their kiss; Bucky was able to stay upright well enough, but Mika's foot caught on her leggings, sending her tilting towards the floor. He was quick to grab her in his arms, falling with her and rolling so that she landed on top of him. They descended into laughter then, all tangled on the floor of his old Brooklyn apartment. He kissed her again, swallowing her giggles and returning her to her task.
Her hand drifted down between them, and he groaned softly as she took hold of him. A few experimental moves of her hand had his kisses stalling, his head falling back against the floor. There were so many things he still wanted to do, but she was making it very difficult to remember them. Perhaps that's what the rest of the evening would be for.
"Yes?" she asked quietly, and he could feel her shift, her legs on either side of his. With her sitting on his thighs, he could sense her readiness as well.
"Yes." he said, and that was all the encouragement she needed. She moved until they were joined together, both of them letting out a sigh at the contact. It took just a moment for them to get used to it, and then she started moving her hips, making her breath catch and Bucky let out a low run of swears. His hands gripped her thighs tightly, encouraging her actions as he murmured her name like a prayer. He let one hand slide to where they were joined, his thumb rubbing rhythmic circles in a place he knew she would like, and when he started rolling his hips to meet her movements, she told him exactly how much she appreciated it.
For once, the magic of the stone seemed to work in their favor, as he found that the more he wanted to her reach her end, the faster she seemed to get there. Her face gave away her surprise as she realized it too, feeling the familiar build deep inside. Never to be outdone, he could feel his own peak approaching, faster than it would normally, and knew that she had something to do with it. He tried to swallow down the sensation; after three weeks apart, he would not finish first.
"Come for me." he said, his last line of defense. And that was all it took to send her over the edge, her whole body tensing around him as she fell silent. He followed soon after her, his eyes closing and his rhythm stuttering as he reached his peak. And even if this world was a mess, and everything was so off compared to their life before, and they could do nothing but wait for someone back on earth to fix it, at least this was still just as good.
When the dust settled and their breathing slowed, Mika crawled off of him and laid down next to him on the floor. He didn't let her go far, gathering her in his arms so that her head was resting on his chest, their legs still intertwined. After all the shit he'd seen since the snap, this was the only thing that actually felt real to him.
"Are you having flashbacks of all the ladies you seduced in this room?" she asked, making him bust out laughing and hug her close.
"Hard to seduce anyone when you share a room with another man." he pointed out. She raised up on one elbow, looking confused for a moment until she spotted the second, smaller bed on the other side of the room. Her jaw dropped as she looked back to him.
"You two shared a one bedroom apartment? Are you sure there's not something you want to tell me about you and Steve?" she asked, teasing him.
"It was right after the Depression. It was all we could afford." he explained. She raised an eyebrow, her smirk saying she wasn't sure she could believe him.
"Uh huh. One summer I shared a one bedroom with a girl in Aberdeen for financial reasons too." she said, giggling at his annoyed look. He shushed her with another kiss, and she responded eagerly. This whole time, she knew she was missing her husband, but she'd spent so much time defending her marriage to Dominic that she forgot she was missing her best friend too. She rested her forehead against his, happy to just be next to him and breathe for a moment. His hand rested on her stomach again, and she finally accepted that more than likely, there was no life there anymore.
"We'll figure it out, Little Bird." he said softly. She didn't know if she was talking about the baby, or the soul stone, or whatever would come afterwards, but his voice was so confident that she believed him without hesitation. No matter what happened, they could handle it - together.
…
Christmas was always the toughest time for Steve.
It had been three years since the Snap. Three years since he moved back to New York. Three years of searching for any sort of remedy for his biggest mistake. He'd gone to space two more times with Carol, trying to find any sort of information and instead only finding more devastation. He'd gone to Norway five times, trying to talk Thor into helping, but whatever guilt and defeat Steve felt was compounded exponentially in the Asgardian. Bruce was gone, determined to move forward. They couldn't save the world once, but maybe they could protect what was left of it. Tony made it very clear that he wanted nothing to do with Steve or the rest of the Avengers, and unless Steve managed to find something realistic, he was going to respect his wishes.
He tried to help Natasha as much as he could, either going out chasing leads or watching over the compound when she went herself. But the more time passed, the more she pulled into herself, instead just throwing whatever waking hours she had into her work. He had his own apartment there, but more often than not he found himself wandering to Hell's Kitchen, to a little apartment building that overlooked the Hudson River.
He wasn't surprised to find Nicoletta still awake when he arrived, even though it was nearing midnight. She'd been painting a lot more recently; after posting a beautiful rendition of a picture of her mother on the first anniversary of the Snap, many people had reached out to her, asking how much she would charge to make something similar of their loved ones. She was careful to take just a couple requests at a time so as to not get overwhelmed, but the business was steady no matter how much time passed. People were trying to move on, yes, but no one wanted to forget the ones that they lost.
"You're out early." she said as he let himself into the apartment. He kissed her cheek, narrowly missing a swipe of blue that she probably didn't know was there. Luna greeted him happily, wagging her whole body and giving him a doggy grin as he scratched her hips.
"It's almost midnight." he said with a laugh, knowing that she'd lost track of time. The painting she was working on displayed two older people, laughing and holding each other. His heart ached a little, though he didn't know the story behind them. Her eyebrows rose and she glanced at the clock, not believing him.
"Shit." she said, looking back at the canvas and deciding if it was worth it to push through, or to simply stop and finish tomorrow. In the end, her stomach made the decision for her, growling loud enough that he could hear it from where he was already making her a sandwich in the kitchen.
"Tried to stop at that Thai place, but it was already closed for the holiday." he said, carefully arranging the lettuce. He didn't know if his voice gave him away or if Nicoletta simply knew him that well by now, but she put down her paints and came up behind him, wrapping her arms around his waist and hugging him tightly.
"How's Natasha?" she asked quietly, her voice muffled by his back. He could feel himself sag slightly; she was still working whenever he'd left, and showed no sign of stopping anytime soon.
"Same as usual. I tried to convince her to come over for Christmas tomorrow, but she said she couldn't." he replied. Christmas was already a low key affair, what with most of their friends still missing, and now it would be just down to him and Nicoletta. Not that he minded that, of course; both of them just had a habit of getting caught up missing their loved ones at this time.
"Maybe we should take a trip. Just the two of us." she offered, letting go as he reached for a knife to cut the sandwich in half. She leaned against the kitchen counter so she could catch his eye. "Nowhere crazy. We haven't been to Niagara Falls."
He opened his mouth to say no, to say that he had to stay and to work. But Natasha hadn't given him any tasks. In fact, she'd specifically said to have a good Christmas, and that she'd see him in two days.
"Maybe that wouldn't be such a bad idea." he relented, making her smile.
"Good, because I already bought the tickets." she said, taking half the sandwich and going to the dining table. "And packed."
"And what if I had said no?" he asked, chuckling at her response. She shrugged her shoulders; she very rarely made a backup plan, because she very rarely needed one. He grabbed some chips from the pantry and hummus from the refrigerator, joining her at the dining table. On the wall proudly hung a colorful rendition of a picture from Mika and Bucky's wedding. Most of the time, it filled his heart with fondness; his friends looked so happy in the original photo, and Nicoletta had captured that perfectly. But today, it just made him miss them. They should be in Wakanda right now to celebrate the holiday, at least that's how Steve felt.
He looked to the woman across from him, her smile small but encouraging as his eyes dropped from the painting. She reached over and grasped his hand just for a moment. It's okay, the touch said. I understand. She missed them too, every day.
Steve swallowed down the feelings. He would not give up. Someday, somehow, he was going to find a way to get them back. And until then, they'd just have to do the best they could.
Woooo sweet reunion saucy times! And also some sadness. Hopefully this chapter answered some questions about how time is passing in the stone.
Thank you so much for the reviews! I'm sorry things haven't been super exciting, but we're really close to Endgame now! I hope you liked this chapter, please tell me what you thought!
Also, this lil story is almost two whole years old! Any requests on how to celebrate?
-XM