TW: the assault we learned about in 6x08 isn't truly mentioned, but it is hinted at.
You Say I Am Held When I Am Falling Short (And I Believe)
She almost tells him.
She's never told anyone before. It's been years since it happened and most days she manages not to think about it too much, but this new step she's trying to take in her career is bringing back some painful memories she'd rather forget. She knows if she were ever to tell anyone it'd be him. She could trust him with her life. Even before they started dating he was the one she'd turn to whenever she needed to talk to someone about something. Anything.
She listens to him, listens to his words that bring a smile to her face and help tame her demons a little and she almost tells him. Almost shares her past and fears and why this is so important to her. How this is revenge – against life, against her ex-captain, against the voice in her head that keeps trying to persuade her she doesn't deserve being where she is right now even after all these years. Even if she's proven her worth as detective tons of times in the past – and still does, day after day on the field.
She's amazing at her job and she'll be even better at being a sergeant. She worked her ass off to pass this exam and she didn't take help from anyone.
She does deserve the promotion.
(She did deserve the previous one too.)
Despite everything, it feels a little surreal to Amy that of all people, Jake would become the one she'd want to tell her story to now. She remembers her first day at the Nine-Nine, how both relieved and scared she was feeling after the circumstances in which she left her last precinct. She remembers Charles's comment about hearing wedding bells upon their encounter and how she worried she'd walked into a similar place than the one she'd just run away from.
It took her so long to get past this and truly appreciate her partner from the opposite desk.
Yet if he were to get down on one knee right there, on this rooftop so meaningful for them and ask her to marry him now, she wouldn't hesitate one second to say yes.
(Little does she know there is a little box and a ring hidden somewhere in their apartment and waiting for Jake to propose on the right occasion.)
She wants to share her story with him but in the end she doesn't. Maybe someday she will, but right now it's still too painful; as she's on the verge of passing her sergeant exam, the fear of what speaking up could do to her career is still all too real – even after all these years.
Even if it's him.
She's scared and she doesn't tell him about her past but then he tells her she's too good to be afraid to be successful and suddenly her world seems a little bit brighter. She feels a little bit better. Most of all, she somehow believes it. She believes him.
She is good indeed – and she damn right deserves her promotion.
"I'm gonna be a sergeant!"
"You're gonna be a sergeant!"
(They've been married for a few months and she's been a sergeant even longer than that when a case comes up and she eventually opens up to him, and the way he reacts to her story makes her realize once again that she couldn't have asked for a better husband for sure.)