Chapter 87: The Shield

"He shouldn't've done it." Bucky said. Mika sighed and shook her head; they'd been hashing and rehashing the same conversation all morning.

"Maybe he felt like he didn't have a choice." she said again. She'd texted Sam after the presentation of the shield to the Smithsonian, but he hadn't responded. She knew he always had his phone in his hand, but decided to give him the benefit of the doubt; not to mention she'd be avoiding her phone in this case too. "In his defense, there's a lot of people on the internet with big mouths, saying terrible things about him. Untrue, of course."

"But still, to just give it to the museum?" he asked, lacing up his boots. "I mean, he could have just given it back to Steve. Or hell, hang it up on his own wall."

"Do you wish he would've given it to you?" Mika asked. It was something she'd been wondering since Steve passed it on to Sam, but hadn't actually asked in more than a passing manner. "I mean, you're the only one that's still a super soldier."

"No." Bucky said, shaking his head. "Being Cap…that's not my job. Never has been."

"What was your job then?" she asked. She put her laptop to the side and perched her chin on her hand, giving him her full attention.

"To do stuff Steve couldn't." he said with a shrug. "Steve definitely had to do a lot of shit, shit that he'll probably never confess to. And the stuff that was too dark, even for him…" He trailed off, stuck in some memory in a way Mika hadn't seen in years. She climbed off the couch and went to him, wrapping her arms around his waist. He hugged her back, kissing the top of her head.

"You're a good friend." she said. "Steve is lucky to have you. Sam too."

He sighed. "I still don't get why he didn't want the shield."

"Well, you could always ask him." she reminded him. "You do have his number. He even texts you sometimes."

"Don't you start too." Bucky teased, pinching her side and making her squirm. The metal arm held her tight as he tickled her ribs.

"Stop it!" she squealed through her laughter. He held on tighter. She managed to wedge an arm between them and dug her fingertips into his underarm, making him shout and jump back. "Ha! Not so fun now, is it?"

"I'm torn between betrayal and pride right now." he said. "You're getting pretty strong."

"I've been working out." she said, flexing her arms. He came up and squeezed her bicep, an impressed look on his face.

"I can tell." he said. He got an evil glint in his eye. "Your cardio is certainly better too."

"Oh, but we can still work on it." she said, laying her arms on his shoulders. He tugged her in for a kiss, slow and deep and full of promises. Just in time for his alarm to go off.

"Sh, just ignore it." he whispered to her lips, silencing the phone and sticking it back in his pocket.

"You have to go." she said around the kiss, though she made no move to push him away. If it was up to her, he would stay there all afternoon and only leave for his date later that night. But no, court mandated stuff apparently had to be followed. Ridiculous.

"Maybe I can skip once." he said. He slipped one hand beneath the waistband of her shorts. "After all, those squats have really paid off."

"You can appreciate all the squats after your appointment." she said, her brain betraying her body despite its vehement protests. "I'll remind you who you're coming home to before you go meet Leah."

"Are you sure we can't just find a new sushi place?" he said, his gaze going skyward. He barely moved his hands so they were resting on her hips, still holding her close. It wasn't like him to respond like this; he always accepted challenges with quiet determination. But it occurred to her that this might be what Bucky was like when he was overwhelmed. He could deal with a fight, or a change in location, or starting a new phase in life. But here, he was having to deal with his past, his present, and his future in a way that was painfully detailed.

"It's gonna be okay." she said. Her heart ached for him, and she counted down the days until he had less to deal with. "But maybe call Sam, hm?"

"I'll think about it." he said. He kissed her again, but this time as a goodbye. "Promise you'll be here when I get back?"

"Ha, ha, very funny." she said. She was almost as sick of her house arrest as she was for his situation. "Yes, I'll be here when you get back."

"Good." he said. One last kiss, and he finally peeled himself away. "I guess I'll go then."

"Be safe." she said as she walked him to the door. He walked backwards, his hands in his pockets, and smiled at her in a way that made butterflies erupt in her stomach. This, she thought, was how he looked before it all happened. He kept his eyes on her until it was time to turn toward the elevator, his steps fading into the distance. She closed the door, trying not to feel any type of way about it, and changed into her workout clothes to further forget about the whole situation.

Her phone buzzed almost immediately, which was a welcome distraction from her emotions. Sam's name flashed on the screen, and for a second she thought to chase Bucky down the hall so he would be forced to talk to him. Instead, she answered it.

"Alo?" she sang.

"Hey, Meeks." Sam said. He sounded hesitant.

"Hey, do you have something you need me to find?" she asked. She went back to the couch, curling up under the blanket and pulling her laptop close again. With Sam on speaker, she was able to log back in and pull up her programs.

"Uh, yea, I do." he said. Mika wondered if he was surprised she wasn't saying anything about the shield, but she'd been with Bucky long enough to know to let people bring up sensitive topics on their own. "You got time?"

"I have nothing but time. Bucky just left for one of his therapy appointments." she said.

"How are those going?"

"Shitty. We hate them." she deadpanned. "Okay, I'm all set up. What's going on?"

"One of my military contacts, he's been looking into this thing called the Flag Smashers. Ever heard of it?"

"Not even a little. Is it a band?" she asked, earning a snort from Sam.

"No, not a band." he said. "Apparently they're some kind of underground group, but they're on the rise. Torres has been finding bits and pieces, but I was hoping you could help him out. They seem to operate on a web-based system."

"Like Peter's webs or internet webs?"

"Wow, you need to get out more."

"Don't I know it." she said, typing in the name of the organization. A few hits popped up, but the details were slim. "There's a deal with a hand, but that's all I'm seeing in preliminary searches. I'll have to dig deeper to find anything else."

"Nothing too crazy, though." Sam said. "We don't need you extending your sentence."

"I've learned a thing or two about covering my tracks, don't worry." Mika said. "Plus I have backup that I can call if I need."

"I don't need this stuff getting out."

"Only if I need it. You know you always need a backup plan."

"Yea, you're right." he said with a sigh. "Well, I passed your info on to Torres, so I'll send you his contact too, just in case you need to cross-reference something or some shit."

"You're gonna get on me about calling my friend, but you just gave some random man my number?" she said with false offense. "How dare you, Samuel."

"It's not - I didn't mean - I don't know your friend, but I know you and Torres."

"Bucky's going to be so upset."

"…Is he?"

"Oh, yes. He's a very, very jealous man." she said, her tone laced with sarcasm.

"I hate you." Sam grumbled. "Forget I called. Shit, forget my number."

"I'll text you later." she replied. "Just make sure this Torres guy knows I'm married."

"Yea, yea, yea."

They said their goodbyes, and Mika hung up, a buzz from her phone alerting her to the addition of Joaquin Torres to her contacts. She was a little salty that Sam just gave her number to some random military guy, and planned on reminding him as often as possible in the future. Given the circumstances, it wasn't weird, but that didn't mean she had to give him any slack.

Whatever this Flag Smasher organization was, they were definitely gaining momentum quickly. Their cyber trail only started a couple months prior, and now they had links to refugee camps and even some protests. There were no videos, and any pictures were blurry, the faces unrecognizable and the clothes nondescript. Whoever managed their internet presence used a very advanced VPN. She couldn't even crack it, at least not without help. Even as she dug, little bits and pieces disappeared. Someone was scrubbing them in real time.

This was going to be a challenge.

Mika smiled. She liked a challenge.

She brought up her own scrubbing program that she had her friend build for her when Sam first called, as he was deeper in the hacking game than she ever was or ever would be. Many layers of protection were necessary in a situation like this. With more digging and more battling of the code, she started to see the pattern. The signal bounced from country to country, seemingly randomized, but if one knew exactly where to look…

Switzerland.

Well, she hoped Sam warned Torres that she got his number, because otherwise this text was going to be a little awkward and a lot surprising. She kept it simple - a brief introduction, some coordinates he needed to check - and sent it off without thinking too much about it. If he was going to investigate in person, then she needed to get him as much information as possible.

The digging kept her occupied for a long time, much longer than she originally anticipated. She kept a running document with the locations they'd been and the connections they'd made. There was something with a place called Madripoor, which she'd never heard of, but it seemed relatively important. She was close to figuring something out, she just knew it.

She nearly jumped out of her skin when the front door opened, Bucky sulking in with takeout. He perked an eyebrow at her clutching her chest, cocking his head to the side.

"You okay?" he asked. She took a few deep breaths, trying to calm her racing heart.

"Yea, sorry, I was just concentrating really hard." she said with a laugh. "You scared me."

"I'm terrifying, I know." he said. He probably meant for it to be a joke, but it sounded just a little too serious. She pushed her materials away from her, going to help him plate the supper he brought.

"Rough session?" she asked. She glanced at the clock and found he was home much later than usual. "You were there for forever."

"Yea, apparently we had a 'breakthrough.'" he said, rolling his eyes. "All that meant was that I had to stay longer and give all the details. It was humiliating."

"Past details of what?" she asked. She'd never heard Bucky describe something as humiliating before, and she wondered what it could be. Hydra had subjected him to a lot of tortures, most of which he never told her, and to think that Dr. Raynor would drag those out of him-

"Partners." He spat the word out, his back to her as he fixed up the food. She tried to move next to him, or at least into his periphery, but he somehow kept hiding his face. "Thought I was just making a joke about meeting Leah tonight, and it turned into a whole point-counting thing. It was ridiculous."

"Seriously?" she said, finally giving up on their little dance and leaning against the opposite counter. "What was the goal?"

"Apparently to remind myself that there was some good stuff in my past?" he said, bracing his hands on the countertop and hanging his head. "I tried to tell her I have plenty of good stuff now, but you know how she is."

"Ugh, I'm sorry, my darling." she said, coming to rub his back. He kept his head down, his gaze away from hers. She'd seen him shaken after a session, but not like this, and when she went to lay a kiss on his shoulder, she saw that his eyes were squeezed shut.

"It just felt wrong. Felt like cheating." he said. "This misunderstanding with Leah is one thing, but going through all those details…why would I want to think of them when I could think of you?"

"It wasn't cheating." she said. She wiggled her way under his arm and put her hands on his cheeks, making him look up at her. "It wasn't."

"Then why did it feel so terrible?" he asked, his blue eyes intense and imploring. Gone was any sign of the Winter Soldier or the man who pieced himself back together after decades of trauma. This was just Bucky, laying his soul bare and vulnerable before her. It made her want to cry for him.

"I don't know." she answered truthfully. She, unfortunately, was not a trained mental health professional. "But I do know that you're the strongest man I've ever known. And I know that you're my best friend, and my husband. And I know that I love you, and you love me. And I know that you are loyal. And remember, it's not like I was a nun before you."

"I definitely know that." he said, resting his forehead against hers.

"And do you hold it against me?" she asked.

"Not in the slightest."

"Exactly." she said. She moved back just enough so she could kiss his forehead, running her fingers through his hair. All the stuff that Dr. Raynor made him rehash, and it was this that was throwing him for a loop? Mika wouldn't describe Bucky as codependent, but she did think that maybe she was his weakness. That was okay, he was hers too.

"I love you. Thank you." he said. He dropped his head to her shoulder, letting her continue with her soothing movements as their food grew cold on the counter. She would hold him the whole night if he wanted it. Her stomach, however, did not agree, and protested loudly. With a deep breath, Bucky pushed back, his face back to normal. "C'mon, let's get you fed."

They warmed up their supper and moved to the table, making sure to fill Luna's bowl with her food before they sat down to eat. The dog ignored the kibble, instead choosing to sit by Mika's feet in hopes of getting a tastier option.

"Oh, Sam called." Mika said, forgetting to finish chewing before speaking. "I got to track down some underground anarchist thing for him and his military buddy."

Bucky eyed her from over his wine glass. "That sounds slightly illegal."

"No, it was all perfectly legal. I didn't hack into anything government or private. I just…eliminated some boundaries from the information." she said with a shrug. "Torres hasn't even texted me back yet, so I don't know if the info I gave him was right or not."

"Any chance I can convince you to maybe choose another hobby besides tracking terrorists through the internet?" Bucky asked. Mika gave him an awkward smile.

"I'm in too deep, I'm this close to figuring out who's funding them and how they get their connections." she said. Bucky pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Of course you are." he said. "You're too smart for your own good, you know that?"

"I've been told that a time or two." she said with a shrug. "It's fine, I'm covering all my tracks, and this won't be for long. Just until Sam can get a handle on it."

"And you're sure they can't trace you?" he asked. "I need you to make it through this house arrest so I can prove to Yori you exist."

"I'm positive. All else fails, I'll just fake my own death and get a new identity. Oh! Then we can do that thing where we pretend to meet one night at the bar and we're strangers and you have to try and pick me up." Mika said with a shimmy. The idea was silly, but after being stuck in her apartment for this long, a silly date sounded just her speed.

"Uh uh, I already put in the work, I'm not starting over from scratch." he said. "All else fails, we're moving back to Wakanda."

"But that's so far away!" Mika said. She immediately backtracked. "I mean, not that I didn't love our time there. And I'm forever grateful for the T'Challa and Shuri's help. And I would love to visit. But it's kind of nice being close to family, you know?"

Bucky made a face, just for a fraction of a second, and even with her practiced eyes she couldn't tell what feeling he was expressing. "You're right." he finally relented. "Maybe we can make it an anniversary trip."

"Oh, I like the sound of that." she said, her heart warming. "Wait, do we get to count the five years we were gone towards our total?"

"Well…" Bucky opened and closed his mouth a few times, his brows furrowed. "I don't know. I guess if we were both stuck in the stone, then we were technically still together all that time."

"So I say it counts. That puts us at what, seven years?" she said with a smile. She reached across the table, and he put the wine glass down so he could take her hand.

"Best seven years of my life. Even if I technically didn't exist for five of them." he grinned.

"Shh, details." she said. She squeezed his fingers, then went back to eating. She could just see her laptop out of the corner of her eye, waiting for her to jump back into her research. She ignored it as they did dishes, and continued to ignore it as they cuddled on the couch and watched the news.

At a quarter to ten, Bucky's alarm went off again, and he groaned.

"I don't want to." he said, resting his head on the back of the couch. Mika, knowing that she could get a lot more done if he wasn't looking over her shoulder, prodded him with her toe.

"You need to. You need to talk to her about Yori." she reminded him. He clenched his jaw, his eyes still trained on the ceiling.

"Or we can revisit that fake our own deaths plan." he said. "That sounds enticing now."

"Oh, we're faking our deaths together? How romantic." she said, poking him a little more insistently now. "Go on, you can't stand her up."

"Is it standing her up if it's not a real date?"

"Absolutely it is."

"Ugh. Okay. Fine." he said, grunting like an old man as he got off the couch. "But I'm not gonna enjoy it."

"You better not." she said. He leaned over and gave her another searing kiss.

"Don't worry, I know who I'm coming home to." he said. He laced up his boots and grabbed his jacket and gloves, ducking back into the hallway with a resigned salute. As soon as the door was closed and locked, Mika scrambled for her laptop, opening her programs again and picking up where she left off.

Torres had finally texted her back. He'd found the location for the next Flag Smasher demonstration, and was planning on going to find more information. Mika didn't like the sound of that. Maybe it was her intuition, or maybe it was so many years of living with Bucky, but going straight into the enemy camp felt like a bad idea. She told him as such, but he insisted he would be fine. Famous last words.

She got sucked into the search, especially once she found a more solid connection to Madripoor. It seemed that's where a lot of the trails started, from the internet presence to the first few demonstrations. There were mentions of people with special strengths, which Mika found particularly concerning. She sent that tidbit to Torres and hoped he saw it in time, or that he didn't find out the hard way.

Then she found the thread she was looking for: someone calling themselves the Power Broker. There were huge gaps in the information, but if she was very, very delicate, she might be able to get to the bottom of their identity before it got scrubbed completely. Whoever was cleaning up these trails was good, but she was just a little bit better.

Quick footsteps in the hall broke her concentration, and this time she wasn't startled as the key turned in the lock. Bucky rushed in, dropping his keys and jacket and gloves in a haphazard pile.

"Bucky? What happened?" she asked, putting her laptop on the coffee table. He was struggling to control his breathing, and the straps of his boots protested as he pulled them too hard in an effort to get them off. "Bucky, talk to me, what's wrong?"

"Everything." he said, running his hands through his hair. "Everything feels wrong."

"What happened?" she asked. He shook his head.

"I don't wanna talk about it." he said. He was done talking, and Mika could understand why. He would tell her what was going on, when he was ready. He was pacing, and agitated, as if he couldn't settle on a thought let alone a position.

"What do you need?" she asked instead. He stopped his fidgeting, his eyes darkening slightly. She waited, but he made no move to speak, only looking at her with a specific brand of intensity. In half a breath he was kissing her, hot and fast, with his fingers in her hair and his body pressed against hers.

"You." he said against her lips, already his voice a little more steady. "Please, I need you."

She promptly forgot everything she'd been working on.

"You have me." she said. He kissed her again and she pushed into it this time, meeting his energy and his need. Bucky was always calm, always in control, but every once in a while he let loose and let her see a side of him no one else got. She loved those moments. And if that's what he needed right now, then she would give it to him.

She ran her hands under the hem of his t-shirt, then pulled it off and tossed it to the side. Not wanting to be outdone, he grabbed the edge of her tank top and promptly removed it from her, the movement so fast that her sports bra halfway came with it. He took full advantage of that, bending down to pay special attention with his mouth. She gasped and arched into him. His hands went to her rear to give a hearty squeeze. The seams of her sports bra protested as she tugged the useless garment off, tossing it somewhere in the realm of Bucky's shirt.

"You know, when you wear these," Bucky said, kissing down her stomach and sliding his fingers under the waistband of her leggings, "all I can think about is how you're not wearing underwear."

"It gets caught in uncomfortable places." she said, her abs clenching as he nipped at the waistband, then pressed sloppy kisses over the fabric. He looked like he wanted to give some sort of saucy retort, but nothing came to mind. Instead, he lifted her and wrapped her legs around his waist, easily carrying her to the bedroom as he kissed at her neck at collarbone.

Once they were on the bed, she was at his belt, her fingers fumbling as she undid it. The button and the zipper were quick after that. Bucky shivered as her hands ghosted over him, and he shimmied out of his pants. He settled on top of her, the two layers of clothing still present annoying her tremendously. She went to take off his boxer briefs, but he grabbed her hands and interlaced their fingers as he kissed her lips again. This kiss was slower, deeper, and less feverish, and made her body ache with want for him.

"I want to be close to you." he whispered. A shock went through her legs as he moved against her, the friction from the fabric frustrating her. "Can I?"

"Please." she said, not caring how desperate she sounded. This was her husband, and she could be as wanton with him as she wanted. He reached a hand between them, gently touching over her leggings, a quiet promise of what was to come. She couldn't help but shift her hips, chasing the sensation. His fingers barely pressed against her, and he let out a long breath at his discovery.

"God, Mika, I love you." he said, kissing her again. She had the distinct feeling that her want was very evident, despite her leggings still being in place.

"I love you too." She broke the kiss. "I want you."

He let out a low sound in the back of his throat, almost a growl, and then it was a mad, awkward scramble of limbs as they fought against the clothing still keeping them apart. She readily opened her legs to him and he angled his hips between them. He slowed down then, and kept his eyes on her as he slowly, gently moved them together.

There were a few slow, tender strokes, allowing them to get used to the sensations, but then he started a faster pace, their hands still locked together over her head. His chest was pressed against hers and her ankles were crossed at his low back, her hips moving in time to meet him. His weight crushed her, but in a good way, their hearts beating like they were trying to touch each other. The headboard knocked against the wall rhythmically, which somehow made it all even better.

He paused for a second and shifted his legs, and all of the sudden he was moving at an angle that pulled a embarrassingly loud moan from her lips.

"Oh my God." she gasped out as his hips ground against her just right. "Stay there. Keep doing that."

"Yes, ma'am." he said. She felt the electricity going through her, the steady build in her abdomen that compounded with each thrust. It didn't matter how many men or women she'd been with before him, because nobody could make love to her like Bucky.

"I'm close." she said, earning a shudder through him. But he kept on, just like she wanted.

"Faster?" he asked. He was sweating - they both were - and she could barely see the telltale blush creeping over his chest and his neck.

"Faster." she said, and he obliged, making sure to stay in the right place that had her body clenching and curses falling from her mouth. He muttered a few dirty things in her ear that her brain didn't register but her body certainly did, and with a cry she tumbled over the edge, with Bucky coming right behind her, both of them making noises that would annoy the next door neighbors if the walls were a little thinner.

She relaxed as the dust settled and Bucky did too, for a moment allowing his entire weight to press her into the mattress. His face was still in her neck, though her hair was sticking to both of their sweaty cheeks, and he kept murmuring I love you over and over while she peppered kisses over his shoulder, paying attention to each scar that still marred his skin. She wondered if they would ever fade.

They went twice more before the night was done, and after a shower Mika barely made it back to bed, let alone to her laptop. She stayed up until Bucky fell asleep, and then curled up against him to slumber as well, really and truly worn out.

She slept in later than she intended, and her heart dropped as she realized she was alone in the bed. At first, she thought Bucky had moved to the floor of the living room again, but when she wrapped the sheet around her and went to check, there were no blankets there. Bucky still sat on the floor, his eyes on the TV and concern on his face.

"What is it?" she asked, her voice thick with sleep. He didn't say anything, he just nodded to the screen.

He was watching the news, with a special announcement in front of some government building. The crowd cheered, and a man in red, white, and blue, and carrying Steve's shield, walked out onto the stage. New Captain America, the ticker at the bottom read.

"What the fuck?" she asked. She'd thought Sam gave the shield to the museum. Why did this imposter have it now?

"Can you tell me where Sam is?" Bucky asked.

"No, I can text him…" she trailed off, catching his eye. "You just want me to track him."

"He's not gonna answer my call now." he said. "I just gotta talk to him. We gotta figure out a way to fix this."

"I can come with you-"

"No, no." Bucky said, getting up. He put his hands on her arms. "I can't risk you getting hurt, or worse, them extending your house arrest."

"That would be worse than me getting hurt?" she asked with a smile. She knew he was teasing, and it was good to see him in better spirits than the night before, but there was still an edge to him that she'd never seen.

"I just gotta talk to him, that's all." Bucky said. Mika let out a long sigh.

"Okay, okay let me look at some stuff." she said, pulling up her laptop. The barely there trail she found the night before was scrubbed clean now. Shit. It would be impossible for her to find again. So instead she found Sam's phone and gave Bucky the location, accepting a kiss as a consolation prize for him running out the door.

She had a bad feeling about this.

So many feelings in this chapter! Gosh darn F&WS, messing everything up. Thank y'all SO much for the reviews, they really keep me going! I appreciate them so much!

I won't be able to update next weekend, and I may even have to skip the weekend after that because I'll be out of town. TBH I'm out the next three weekends, but we're gonna do our best!

That said, I usually post Sunday nights (my time), but if I finish really late (like tonight), would it be terrible if sometimes I posted Mondays? Or would y'all rather I just wait until the next Sunday? Let me know!

-XM