Chapter 4: Painful Remembrance

I looked the girl in front of me up and down, taking in her appearance.

She didn't look like she would hurt me.

But then again, appearances can be deceiving.

I grimaced as I thought of how everyone thought my father was a perfect business man, a model civilian; the perfect man. They had no idea of the threats—the beatings—he gave to his wife and only child.

Shaking my head from my thoughts, I gave Chara a small smile, shaking her hand, "Frisk."

Chara sat on the floor, legs crossed, patting the ground in front of her, "Sit. I'm sure you're wondering why you're here, and not in the usual mess of nightmares and flashbacks."

My eyes widened, heart dropping, "You've seen those?"

Chara nodded, giving my an empathetic look, "I'm sorry for invading, I know what it's like to be in a situation like that at home. As for invading though, I'm sort of... attached to you, I guess. I think when you fell, your pure determination to survive just woke me up and attached me to the most powerful being close by."

I bit my lip, digging my nails into my thumbs, "Okay, but... how much did you see?"

Chara frowned slightly, "All of it. But everything is safe with me; who am I gonna tell? I'm dead."

I smiled slightly at her words, my mind working, "If you saw everything though, that means that you've seen the flashbacks. Do you have any memory of any of those things happening? And do you know why everything is different from before?"

Chara shook her head, leaning forward, "I have no memory whatsoever of anything that happened. Those flashbacks... Okay, Grillbs remembers, right?" I nodded, signalling for her to continue, "Ask him about the timelines. I have a slight memory of what they are, but I know that Grillbs knows. Once he explains, we can piece things together from there."

I nodded, taking in everything that Chara had said, "I can do that. But do you know why everything is different from before?"

Chara shrugged, standing up, holding a hand out for me to take, "No. The only explanation that I can come up with for everything being different, is some type of reset, that just... changed things? I don't know. Look partner, I know just about as much as you. You'll have to find out more for us, okay?"

I nodded again, feeling myself begin to wake up, before asking a quick question, "Hey, Chara? Do you think we'd be able to talk to each other while I'm awake? Or will we only be able to communicate when I sleep?"

Chara shrugged once more, "Who do you think that little voice in your head was earlier when Sans was trying to get you to sleep? We should be able to communicate, but it really depends on our connection. It's kinda like cell-phones and their connection."

I smiled at her comparison, "Yeah, kinda. Okay, until next time, Chara."

Chara waved, a small smile on her face, "'Til next time, partner."

Judging by the clock on the wall, I had slept for about eight hours, making it around 5:00 PM.

I sat up from Papyrus' bed, trying to rub the grogginess from my eyes.

As soon as I was awake enough, I got up out of bed and stretched.

Once I was done stretching, I made my way out of Papyrus' room, my feet making no sound as I quickly walked to the bathroom at the end of the hall.

I locked the bathroom door behind me, starting the bath water before I began to strip from my clothes. I glanced in the mirror, before glancing away, and then whipping my head back up again.

I had cuts and bruises all over from my adventure into the Underground, and they still hadn't healed yet. Not only that, but my hair seemed as if it were a rat's nest. I looked around the cabinet shelves, searching for a hairbrush or comb of some sort. I eventually spotted the green comb up on top of the mirror and cabinets themselves.

Climbing from the toilet, to the sink counter, I reached up and took the comb in my hands, and then hopped back down.

I sat down on the toilet, beginning to work out the knots and bumps in my hair, gritting my teeth when tears pricked the corners of my eyes as I worked.

After about thirty minutes of wetting my hair and brushing out the knots, I was finally ready to hop into the still steaming bath water.

I slowly stepped into the bath, the water burning my ankles at first, but soon becoming bearable. Gently, I sank into the water, immersing most of my body into the heat.

The heat worked out the stiffness and knots in my muscles, helping me to relax.

As soon as I relaxed though, my mind was bombarded with memories and flashbacks.

.

"... why are you lying to me frisk?"

I grabbed the other Sans' jacket from off my desk chair and threw it on, "I'm not lying, Sans. I got into a fight with-"

Sans grabbed my arm and forced me to look into his eyes, "frisk, tell me the truth. you didn't just get into a fight with someone on the way home, the injuries i saw have been there longer than that. which means, whatever that session was-"

I yanked my arm out of his grasp, "Sans, just back off for once! Yes, you are worried, but you are not going to meddle in my business. You're not my best friend anymore, you're a stran-"

Sans' voice interrupted me, "i'm not a stranger frisk, stop saying that! we're best friends, just because pandora came along doesn't mean that i ever stopped being best friends with you. you're the one who's been pushing me away, you're the one who's becoming a stranger to me!"

I threw my hands up, "Well it's not like I'm trying to do this! I'm not trying to distance myself, I'm not trying to be a stranger, I'm just trying to protect you guys! I'm just trying to support the household and other monsters because they're struggling! Who cares what happens to me, I'm not even-"

Sans grabbed my hand so roughly that I let out a yelp of surprise. "I CARE. I care what happens to you Frisk, so stop saying shit like that!"

.

I shook my head, clearing the memory from my mind.

Curiosity came from Chara, her voice distant, but there, "Frisk, when did that happen?"

I sank deeper into the water, looking up at the ceiling of the bathroom, "I don't know. A different reset or something."

Chara mulled this over as I stood up and grabbed a bar of soap and washcloth, ready to clean myself up.

Though I didn't get much done, since another flashback took over.

.

I sobbed as I pushed back on my bedroom door, trying to keep my drunken father out.

His voice was honeyed, "Frisk, darling, my dear daughter. Would you kindly open the door for me? I just want to have a small chat with you."

I kept pushing, trying to keep my father out, ignoring his lies.

My mother was the one to speak this time, her shaking voice directed towards my father, "Sweetheart, how about we leave the child alone, hmm? Here, just calm down, and- -"

I sobbed harder, holding back a scream as I heard the sound of fist meeting flesh, and the thuds of my mother crumbling down the stairs that led up to my room; wondering if the woman who had tried to protect me was now dead.

Hearing my cries, my father threw the entire force of his body at my door, breaking into my room.

I screamed bloody murder, making my throat burn, as I dashed across my bed and to the other side of the room, trying to put some distance between me and the towering monster before me.

But it was futile.

My father crossed over to me in three strides, grabbing the ends of my hair, pulling me up off the floor to be level with his face. Spit and alcohol flew onto my face as he screamed at me, before throwing me to the ground and taking off his belt.

I braced myself as he brought the leather down against my skin, leaving red welts behind.

Once tired with the belt, my father moved on to kicking me, and soon, just bringing his fists down as brutally as possible; my mother screaming at him to stop all the while.

I remained on my bedroom floor, my trembling ceasing as my vision set to a dark vignette, unconsciousness coming to me.

How could no one hear the cacophony of my home?

.

With the flashback over, I found myself on the tiled bathroom floor, blood trickling from a cut above my eyebrow.

I touched my fingertips to the cut, finding the dark blood coated on my fingertips once I pulled them away.

Slowly sitting up, I jumped violently as I heard three knocks at the bathroom door.

A muffled voice came from the other side, "Human? Are you okay in there?"

I took a shaky breath, reminding myself that there was no way my father could get to me here. I put a small smile on my lips even though Papyrus couldn't see, "Yeah, I'm okay. I'm just finishing up my bath, okay Papyrus?"

Once Papyrus was no longer concerned, I hopped back in the bath, cleaning my body and hair, and hopping back out.

I was careful not to get blood on my striped sweater and tan shorts, and looked in the mirror, finding that the cut was small compared to the amount of blood coming from it.

Sighing, I looked through the bathroom cabinet again, finding the peroxide and some q-tips.

I dipped the q-tips into the peroxide, before applying them to my cut, my face screwing up as I worked through the stinging pain.

Once peroxide didn't have much of an effect on the cut, I put the peroxide up and looked around for a bandage of some sort, finding a box of mickey mouse band-aids. And while most kids my age would want something more grown-up to use, I was perfectly content with my mickey mouse band-aid.

I giggled as I looked at my reflection, the band-aid probably being the most appealing thing on me.

After combing my hair, I left the bathroom, joining Papyrus downstairs in the kitchen.

Papyrus smiled as he saw me, "Ah, Human, welcome back from the bath room! What's this? An accessory on your forehead? So stylish! May I join you in the accessory-having?"

I gave Papyrus a small smile, "Yeah, of course you can! Here, I actually brought another down with me." Papyrus bent down, allowing me to put the band-aid on the bone above his eye, "There Papyrus, you're all set."

Papyrus scooped me up in a hug, spinning me around, "Thank you Human! Now I can be both fearsome and fashionable when we get to the Surface!"

I kept my smile on my face as Papyrus spun me around in his arms, "Yeah, of course!"

Papyrus soon set me down on a seat at the kitchen table, resuming cooking, "Okay Human, can you guess what culinary creation I am creating today?"

I looked over to the counter, and all I had to see was the boneless chicken breasts and the slices of ham to know what Papyrus was cooking, "Chicken Cordon Bleu."

Papyrus beamed, "Yes, that is precisely it! Human, how did you know?"

I shrugged, trying not to grimace as I remembered what happened when dinner was late in my house, "I guess I just cooked a lot up on the Surface."

Papyrus turned back to his cooking, "Well you must have really enjoyed it!" Papyrus soon went to cooking in silence, besides his soft humming.

As I watched Papyrus cook and hum softly, I felt the world drop from beneath me.

.

I snuck up on a softly singing Papyrus, who was preoccupied with reading the advanced cooking books he had recently gotten.

"BAH!" I jumped out at Paps, making him jump.

Papyrus quickly shut the cooking book, looking up at me with an orange blush brushing across his bones, "Human Frisk, hello! What are you doing home? I thought you had work today."

I sat down next to Papyrus on the couch, crossing my legs, "They gave me a surprise day off. And what are you doing Paps? You shut that book pretty quickly. Any secret messages I should know about?"

Papyrus got up from his seat on the couch, tucking the book in the corner of his arm, his reply coming fast, "No."

I got up as well, feigning going to the kitchen, "Okay, well I'm gonna make a sandwich. Want one?"

As soon as Papyrus relaxed, thinking that I was genuinely going to make a sandwich, I snatched the book from his arm, sprinting as quickly as possible from the skeleton.

Opening up to the page that he had been on, I found a letter, beginning to read aloud, "My dear Papyrus, I've gotten used to being happy in your presence, and I don't know what I would do without you. My father told me I would someday find someone who I wouldn't be able to handle losing, and I'm afraid that he is right."

I had come to a halt through the first few words of the letter, and Papyrus had come to a halt as well, leaning against the wall next to me, trying to hide the orange tint that had furiously come across his cheek bones.

Papyrus held his hand out for the book and letter, "Satisfied, Human?"

I gently put the book and letter into Papyrus' hand, biting my lip, "Sorry Paps, I shouldn't have snooped... Have you asked her out yet?"

Papyrus gave me a small smile, "I'm getting to it?"

Putting my hands on my hips, I got a stern look on my face, "Papyrus, you better ask that girl on a date the next time you go to that bookstore. Don't you know she's crazy about you?! Just read that letter again if you need more convincing!"

Papyrus shut his book loudly, beginning to walk away, "Human, I appreciate your wanting to help, and I will politely say this, but it's none of your business."

I grabbed Papyrus' arm, leading him back to the living room, "Paps, c'mon, just go for it! There is no doubt in my mind that- -"

Uncharacteristically, Papyrus' voice was not warm, but rather cold, "Well, Frisk, there is doubt in my mind. And since you're giving out advice, how about you follow your own advice for once?"

I furrowed my brows, frowning, "Paps, what- -"

"You love Sans," Papyrus stated, firmly. The skeleton looked me in the eye, an unnatural frown on his face as well, "You love Sans, yet you won't do anything about it. Why not, Frisk?"

I looked away from the skeleton, incredibly unhappy with him, "Papyrus, he has Pandora; he does not love me, therefore I cannot do anything about it." After a moment, I looked at the skeleton again, "You can do something about it though. Tabatha loves you, and you love her. It's obvious that all that's left to do, is be with her."

This time it was Papyrus' turn to look away, with enough decency to look guilty about what he had said.

.

I looked at the cooking skeleton in the kitchen before me, biting my lip.

Chara's voice peeked out from the corner of my mind, "That was a very different skeleton from the one we know right now. Why do you think he was like that, Frisk?"

I mumbled softly under my breath, responding to Chara, "He was obviously irritated about my invasion of his privacy." I cleared my throat, speaking to Papyrus now, "Hey Papyrus, do you know anyone named Tabatha?"

The skeleton turned, still looking cheerful, "No Human, I cannot say that I have. Why?"

I simply shrugged, "I was just wondering." As I looked around the kitchen, being my awkward self and trying to find something to concentrate on, another question popped into my mind, "Hey Papyrus, where's Sans?"

Papyrus shuddered, "Grillby's. My brother is always at that greasy bar at this time. Honestly, I do not know why he does not come home to spend time with me, his dear brother!"

I slid off of my chair, heading over to the front door, "I can go get him really quick, before supper is done." Papyrus gave me a nod as he continued cooking, and I opened the door to head out, "I'll be right back Papyrus!"

Closing the door behind me, I slipped into the icy Snowdin air, making my way to Grillby's.

Once again, I opened the restaurant door and felt a blast of warm air wash over me, warmth overtaking the cold as I stepped inside the building.

My eyes landed immediately on Sans and Grillby, who were speaking intently with one another. And as I approached the pair, I understood why they were talking to each other so intently.

"grillbs, i don't know what to do with the kid. she flinches at practically everything, and she was refusin' to sleep earlier because of what i'm assumin' was nightmares," Sans rubbed his skull, tiredly. He continued on, oblivious to my presence, "i want to help her, i really do, but i don't think i'm the one who'll be able to. i think we need to send her back to the surface. she can get better help there."

Grillby and Sans still hadn't seen me, so I took that chance to head back out into the frigid Snowdin air.

I could feel tears stingily prick at the corner of my eyes, but I don't recall when they escaped and made tracks down my cheeks.

Of course. He wanted to get rid of me already.

Chara made her presence known, trying to offer some comfort, "Frisk, I don't think he meant to get rid of you, per say, but just let you get the help and life you deserve?"

Making my way out of Snowdin and into Waterfall, I didn't stop walking until I had arrived at the hidden room behind the waterfall, which I had found earlier. Inside the small room, was a single echo-flower, and a pink tutu.

I went over to the wall near the echo-flower, and slid down it, sinking onto the ground.

I brought my knees up to my chest, and lay my head on them, looking at the echo flower.

Sighing, I let the tears escape from my eyes even more than before, "Of course he doesn't want me around. I'm too problematic. Too damaged." The echo-flower repeated my words back to me, making my chest feel heavier, "My parents didn't want me, my friends didn't want me, and now, the Monsters don't want me. No one wants me." I bit my lip, silent for a moment, before my voice broke on me, "I don't know why I stick around anymore. Things would probably be so much better without me here."

Chara's presence was there one moment, hesitating, before leaving me.

I hugged my knees tighter to my chest, "And now, not even the ghost wants me."

.

.

.

.

.

I don't know how long I had been there, but I had eventually fallen asleep, my words still repeating to me from the echo-flower.

.

"Frisk, come here for daddy, would you?"

I stopped vacuuming the living room, quickly heading over to my father's office.

Entering the office, I kept my head down, and my voice quiet, "Yes, father?"

My father beckoned me closer to his desk, "Come here. I want to speak with you for a moment."

I did as I was told, approaching my father's desk until I was right in front of it.

Trying to remain still as my father got up, I bit at my lips.

My father took his place behind me, roughly grabbing at the ends of my hair, holding me up several feet off the floor. His voice had the appearance of being soft as he began to scold me, but I could hear the malice in it, "Frisk, dear, what have I told you about doing chores while I'm working? You are nine years old, surely you can understand what I tell you?"

I wriggled to try and get my father to release my hair, my voice coming out desperate, "Father, you told me not to wait until you were off to bed, and I can't do my chores when I'm at school. I can only do them when you're worki- -"

My father set me down on my feet and shoved me into his bookshelf, all air leaving my lungs as I was battered into the now broken shelves, "Do NOT talk to me like that! If I ask you something, you either say 'no sir' or 'yes sir'. Why the 'sir'? Because you are a disgrace, and will not associate yourself with me by calling me 'father'." As I lay crumbled on the carpeted floor, my father kicked me aside, "Now, get out of my sight. I do not want to see you for a week."

I forced myself up off his office floor, quickly making my way out of the room and up the stairs.

I quietly closed my bedroom door, sinking onto my bottom, and laying down, trying not to breathe too hard as head and body ached.

.

I sat up, wide-eyed and breathing heavily.

Once I realized it was a dream, I remained where I was until I felt Chara's presence once more, and heard footsteps heading my way.

Sitting up, wiping the tears from my eyes, I looked up to see a skeleton that I didn't want to see at the moment.

Sans frowned, holding a hand out for me to take, "kid, running off and being gone for hours, isn't okay. you told paps that you'd be back soon, and then you disappeared. do you know how worried we were?"

I ignored Sans' extended hand, getting up without his help, and walking away.

The skeleton let out a frustrated sigh, following me back to Snowdin, "look, kid, it's not okay for you to just leave everyone worried sick like that. i don't know why you ran off, but whatever it is, is not a reason to do things like this. if you're really feelin' that upset, just come to me or grillbs, or hell, even go to paps."

I crossed my arms, digging my nails into my skin, "Nah, don't wanna burden you guys. How about I just go home instead, hm? Get the help that I need."

Sans' eyes widened, "kid, that- - i was just sayin' that it might be better if you go back to the surface; work on your ptsd, get away from that family of yours. i never meant that you were a burden, or that we would just send ya back to the wolves."

I turned on Sans, jabbing a finger at him, holding back the tears, "You don't get it! Everyone thinks he's the perfect business man, with the perfect family, who would never do anything that wasn't perfect! If I said anything at all, no one would believe me, and he would- -" I cut myself off before I finished my sentence, taking a breath to calm myself, "It's whatever. You want to send me back up? Go ahead."

Quickening my pace, I left Sans behind and made it to Snowdin in record time. Once I got to the house, I slammed the front door behind me, and went straight to the bathroom, locking myself in.

I went to the nearest corner, sitting with my knees to my chest, my hands clutching at my head.

.

I knocked softly on the office door, getting a 'come in' from my father.

Standing in the doorway, I waited until he looked up, motioning for me to come forward once he saw his plate with dinner on it.

On the way over, I was so focused on not looking him in the eyes, that I tripped over my own feet.

I sprawled forward, scraping my cheek severely on the rug and carpet, the plate full of food flying from my hands and coating his desk and paperwork.

Holding in my moans and whimpers, I went to get up, stopping when something held me down.

I turned my head, looking up at my father, his foot on the small of my back as his eyes practically ignited in fury.

His voice was perfectly calm and steady as he spoke, "Stand up, Frisk."

I got onto my hands and knees, before pushing myself up, looking anywhere but my father.

My hair being the thing in his grasp once again, my father lifted me to his level, forcing me to look directly into his eyes. His voice had a slight tremor, before he hid it well, "Frisk, I gave you one simple task: bring me my dinner when it is done. Now look at the mess that you've made." My father turned my face towards his desk, before slamming me into it, "LOOK AT IT!"

I winced, trying not to cry, knowing that it would only make him angrier.

Once he was done shoving my face in the food, he yanked on my hair, making me fall backwards onto the floor, allowing him to drag me by my hair across the floor.

My father tightened his hold on my hair, dragging me out of the office, turning corners sharply and not even blinking when he made me collide with the corners of the house, bent on getting to his destination within the house.

He dragged me to the door leading to the basement, using my hair to lift me to my feet, "You're spending a few nights in the basement. Don't make a sound, and don't expect provisions." My father leaned me forward, my body leaning over the stairs as he kept his grip tight on my hair, "Now, Frisk, what do we say?"

I grit my teeth, fighting the tears when my head began to pound, as if the unholy were trying to knock down the door preventing their escape from Hell.

My father let go of my hair, letting me drop and collide with the stairs, "We say, 'Thank you, sir'."

.

I could still feel my father's phantom fingers and hand in my hair, and I felt large, hot tears slide down my cheeks.

Taking a shaky breath, I got to my feet, and went to the bathroom cabinet.

My hands shaking, I grabbed the only blade in the bathroom.

I'm releasing this chapter early, because I wanted to respond to the first and only review of this story right now.

So, Olivia, here we go.

I just want to start off with saying, thank you. It means so much to me when I get a positive review, but when I get review saying that I've changed someone's life? Those reviews are the ones that mean everything in the world to me, and keep me inspired to continue writing.

I also want to say that I am so incredibly sorry that you had to go through that abuse, and I wish that something so terrible never would have been inflicted upon you. No one deserves abuse, no matter the situation, and it just boils my blood to find out that someone would even think about hurting someone else in that way. Olivia, you, and every other reader, mean the absolute world to me, and you guys are what keeps me going. So hearing about you or anyone else being hurt like that? It just makes me want to— I dunno, punch someone. In the face. With legos or something. I don't know, all I know is that I automatically hate anyone who has hurt any of you guys because of how much I care about all of you.

Okay, this is getting kind of long.

In conclusion, Olivia, thank you so much for your kind words and for opening up and sharing your story with me (I may have cried in front of my entire family, no biggie), and I am ecstatic that you are now happy! And I want to say so much more—believe me— but I can't express in words what I want to say.

And if you guys want to leave anything from deep, heartfelt reviews, to short stupid ones, that is absolutely fine with me, because I love pretty much every review that you guys leave.

For now though, I will see all of you unique, gorgeous, amazing people, later.

Until Next Time~